The Mad Monk

Joey Roth's Gorgeous Ceramic Speakers

2010-02-11T09:14:00.001-08:00

Joey Roth's Gorgeous Ceramic Speakers

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Beatles remastered

2009-09-09T09:40:00.001-07:00

Beatles remastered

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The best funk singers of all time

2009-08-19T10:00:00.001-07:00

The best funk singers of all time

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The 3 most underrated female soul singers

2009-08-18T09:50:00.001-07:00

The 3 most underrated female soul singers

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This Week's New Releases

2009-08-03T14:09:00.001-07:00

This Week's New Releases

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Music Shopping 101: What are the best record stores in LA for used vinyl?

2009-07-23T13:33:00.001-07:00

Music Shopping 101: What are the best record stores in LA for used vinyl?

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Michael Jackson album sales skyrocket

2009-06-30T09:16:00.001-07:00

Michael Jackson album sales skyrocket

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Richard Marx to the rescue: fighting back against the 1.92 million dollar download suit

2009-06-25T10:12:00.001-07:00

Richard Marx to the rescue: fighting back against the 1.92 million dollar download suit

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Is vigilante justice okay at concerts?

2009-06-23T10:02:00.001-07:00

Is vigilante justice okay at concerts?

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This week's new releases

2009-06-22T10:15:00.001-07:00

This week's new releases

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Make money at Virgin Megastore today

2009-06-12T13:19:00.001-07:00

Make money at Virgin Megastore today

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Next week's new releases

2009-06-06T10:48:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Next week's new releases

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: New Whitney Houston album to drop on September 1

2009-06-04T10:48:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: New Whitney Houston album to drop on September 1

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: The Blueprint 3 and other album sequels

2009-05-27T11:49:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: The Blueprint 3 and other album sequels

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: How old is Rod Stewart?

2009-05-21T07:49:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: How old is Rod Stewart?

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: How to clean vinyl

2009-05-20T11:15:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: How to clean vinyl

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Record store review: As the Record Turns

2009-05-14T13:39:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Record store review: As the Record Turns

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Nas and Kelis Divorcing

2009-05-01T11:52:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Nas and Kelis Divorcing

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Buying music during the swine flu craze

2009-04-28T10:34:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Buying music during the swine flu craze

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Swine flu music

2009-04-27T12:42:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Swine flu music

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Top 5 music stores for picking up men/women pt 4: economy pick

2009-04-23T11:18:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Top 5 music stores for picking up men/women pt 4: economy pick

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Your guide to Record Store Day

2009-04-17T11:39:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Your guide to Record Store Day

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: The best (and worst) iphone applications for making music

2009-04-16T11:15:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: The best (and worst) iphone applications for making music

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Wear music on your fingers

2009-04-13T11:14:00.001-07:00

Time to give a shout out to my lovely girlfriend Jen Murse. If you didn't know she makes jewelry, well she does! Actually she doesn't cut it herself, but she designs it and assembles it. I'm not the sort of guy to wear rings and shit, but I think it's all pretty cool. So cool in fact that I dedicated today's story to the topic!

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Wear music on your fingers

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Easter edition: the top 3 songs with egg in the title

2009-04-12T15:13:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Easter edition: the top 3 songs with egg in the title

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Coachella last minute addition rumors... U2? Michael Jackson?

2009-04-11T12:32:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Coachella last minute addition rumors... U2? Michael Jackson?

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LA Music Shopping Examiner: Make your own shaped vinyl and CD's

2009-04-02T10:13:00.001-07:00

LA Music Shopping Examiner: Make your own shaped vinyl and CD's

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Wagonwheel Wednesdays: North Carolina

2009-03-25T19:25:00.001-07:00

My friends, our Wagonwheel has returned. Maybe my recent purchase of Oregon Trail for the iPhone reminded me about how much I've neglected this space. But I must have discipline. It's sad, I can't even remember the last state we did... Let me take a look. Wow, New York... On January 28th. That's really sad. Sorry folks.

Next up we have North Carolina. For some reason I've spent a ton of time in North Carolina. I'd say after my home state of PA, my current state of CA, my college state of RI and my nearby states of NJ and NY, North Carolina has been my home away from home. I believe I was there as a young lad, but from adulthood on, I seemed to go back to North Carolina every few years for some reason or another. Here's a quick rundown.

*I did a 10-day writing program at Duke in 10th grade

*I went to Winston-Salem for an award after my Freshman year of college

*I lived in Durham for 6 weeks or so while working on a show for one of my professors. (I'm realizing that I sound pretty nerdy now...)

*I went to my friend's house in the North Carolina mountains. We found a bloated mouse in the toilet. I was scared of it.

*I drove on the Blue Ridge Parkway twice (once after living in Durham, once after visiting my friend).

*I spent a night in Charlotte on my way to South Carolina.

Perhaps that's it.

I would never want to live in North Carolina but overall it's a state with plenty to offer. The Blue Ridge Parkway is one of the most gorgeous drives in America. Mountains, forests, Civil War history and more. Plus, half of the Great Smoke Mountains National Park is in North Carolina. It can get crowded but it's a fabulous park with some great sites and hikes. Also, the food in North Carolina is delicious. The vinegar style barbecue that they've made famous down there is worth the trip alone.

I don't recommend going in the summer though, it's hot and sticky. Oh and if you like cigarettes, you can smoke almost everywhere. Even in many hotel elevators. Fuck yeah!

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: DUBAI WATER HOTEL

2009-03-10T20:52:00.001-07:00

I'm really blown away by the new Atlantis hotel in Dubai. All I've heard recently is that Dubai is crumbling with the rest of the world, yet here we have a 1.5 billion dollar hotel with a 2.9 million gallon aquarium, and a water park with another 4.7 million gallons of water... all in the middle of the desert. Another place to visit just so you can say, "what the fuck?" Oh and it's built on the palm-tree shaped island that didn't even exist a few years back. Lovely. Look at the room with the full aquarium views.
Oh my what fun.

As long as we're on the topic of hotels, take a look at this great little website: Unusual Hotels of the World Not all these hotels are that strange but some are pretty nuts, like the "Dog Park Inn," where you sleep inside a dog (not a real dog though. That may be a bit gross and controversial). I'm still hoping to go to one of the ice hotels one day.

In other exciting news, the stock market actually went up today. I'm expecting another downturn tomorrow though.

Oh damn, my house is so hot right now because Jen has to finish her project and puts on the brutal overhead halogen lights. I'm going to be sun burnt tomorrow. I wanted to write a substantial entry but I think I need to smother myself with ice cubes instead.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: GIVE ME PENNIES

2009-03-05T17:25:00.000-08:00

Here's a thought... I've ignored this blog. Man oh man. I've been so busy blogging and writing articles on other people's sights that I've forgotten all about everyone here! Speaking of which, make sure you visit all my sites on Examiner. You don't even have to read the articles, just visit. And if you have a home AND work computer AND iphone make sure you visit everywhere. I get a cent for each visit, so it's a good cause.

http://www.examiner.com/x-5020-LA-Music-Shopping-Examiner~y2009m3d5-Circuit-City-3-Days-Left

Exciting stuff. It's funny how I worked in my old job for three years and my google search results never increased much, but now in only a few weeks, I'm a pretty popular guy on google. Well not really. But I went from about 12 results to 110. At this rate, I'll be the top search of 2009.

I don't even know what to say for the day. Here's a great link I just found from the guy who runs the music website I write for: http://www.badpaintingsofbarackobama.com/

Wow. It's hard getting back in the groove of things. I'm written out, my friends. But I refuse to close down the blog or put it on hiatus. Just please know that I'm very busy with this pro bono writing thing. I'll keep you in the loop at all times though. In other good news, I got into UCLA! That makes it much more likely that I'll remain in LA (although if I get off the waitlist at Berkeley I'll probably go).

Sigh.

What else can I tell you that you may find interesting? Oh! They came out with a Kindle application for the iPhone. It's free, but the books obviously aren't. Cheaper than a real deal Kindle. But also much smaller. So take your pick. In these troubling times the money has to win out... I wonder if they have Kindle books on torrent... Hmmmmmmmm...

TARDY THURSDAYS

2009-02-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

Ooh I've been bad this week! Not much of anything written. The first week of no employment I had all the time in the world. This week however, the hours are flying by. The pace must slow down!

In good news, I found out that I got into Penn for a Masters in Urban Planning. My parents want me to go straight there. Oh parents. I'm waiting to hear from lots of other places though. I won't make my sentiments public here in case any admissions folks are readers of my blog. Let's just say I want to go everywhere. That works.

Tonight I will attempt to make an artichoke. I'm sure I can steam it but that's a bit boring. Maybe I can do something a bit fancier. I remember I used to have these fried artichoke hearts from this Italian place by me in Bryn Mawr. Oh super duper yum. I don't think I can do that. Maybe... but... no. I'm not attempting it.

Don't artichokes and asparagus remind you of a really fat man who's married to a skinny woman? Maybe it's just me.

In other fabulous news, I've applied for a job at Amoeba to tie me over until I have to go back to school. Of course, this job is next to impossible to get, even though it's just being a record store clerk, but I can still hope. I'm already in there three times a week, they may as well pay me for it.

Finally, did anyone see Bobby Jindal the other day? Perhaps you saw some talk about how people think he sounds like Kenneth the Page. The funny thing is that while I was watching I said that. So all these random blog postings about it can very well be independent decisions. Perhaps that's all because it's true. Jindal sounds exactly like the page. You know what else is funny? I know a guy named Kenneth who used to be an NBC page.

MUSIC MONDAYS: MINT CONDITION

2009-02-23T17:48:00.001-08:00

As I've mentioned in past posts, I have spent a good chunk of time searching for deals at the Circuit City liquidations. I found a gem here or there but mostly held myself back. But in the case of one CD, I finally fell today.

For those who know, which is probably only three or four random people who happened to have been with me when the song came on, Mint Condition's "Breakin My Heart" aka "Pretty Brown Eyes" is an all-time jam of mine. This is just one of those songs that despite modern R&B's shortcomings, works shockingly well, even today. So when I saw the Mint Condition Collection a few weeks back at Circuit City, I was really tempted to buy it. Even though I am mostly opposed to Greatest Hits collections, the thought of having "Pretty Brown Eyes" at my fingertips at all times tempted me. It sort of defeats the purpose though, since this is THE JAM that I hope to hear whenever I randomly listen to urban radio 90's throwback blocks. Anyway, I decided against buying the CD. At the time, Circuit City's CD's were a mere 25% off, so it seemed like a sensible decision. Maybe it would still be there when I returned for a higher discount.

Well last week, I came back and in my browsing found The Collection again. By now the prices were 40% off. Much better. Yet I searched deep within my loins and reigned in my compulsion again!

Today I returned. I wasn't planning on going back, but I passed by the store. How can I pass by the store and not even go in? Especially since the CDs are now 50% off!? So I walked to the music section and the place was nearly empty. They still had a few CDs here and there but probably about 30% of what they had just last week. I browse and what do I find in a stack on the ground? Yep, the Mint Condition Collection. I had to get it. It was a sign I say! A sign. I waited in a long chaotic line. A weird lanky white dude asked me if the thing he was holding in his hand was a router. It looked like a wired router, but I don't know. Definitely not wireless. I told him that. He said he wanted a wired router. Whatever that means. He ended up getting mad at leaving the store. Oh well..

As for me, I bought the damn thing! So for 7 dollars, I now have the ultimate in awesomeness. The collection also comes with a remix of "Pretty Brown Eyes," plus a bunch of other sold Modern R&B bangas! Oh man. Mint Condition here I come!

Still don't know the song? Have a listen

AND THE VIDEO

Pure gold.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS (on a Sunday): Huggie Tries to Plant a Joshua Tree

2009-02-22T15:48:00.001-08:00

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: CIRCUIT CITY DAY

2009-02-19T18:09:00.000-08:00

I can't stop going to Circuit City's in the LA area. In case you're just getting back from a deserted island off the coast of Guam, Circuit City is going out of business. I went to a few stores the other day when CD's, DVD's and games were 40% off. Well today they're 50% off! I didn't buy much at all. Mainly because 50% off Circuit City's inflated prices are about .50 cheaper than Amazon. Seriously, Lost Season 4 Blu-Ray retails for 100 bucks there (compared to $49.00 on Amazon).

If you search hard enough though, you can find some gems though. It's perfect for window shoppers who like to find cheap diamonds in a stack of Elliot Yamin X-mas CD's. As long as we're on the topic, I've never heard Elliot Yamin's music. But every time I see his name and face, I think he should get some street cred by changing his name to "Elliot N'ya mean?" (In case you don't get my urban shorthand, this is slang for Do You Know What I Mean?) Okay, tangent over.

I think the only Circuit City I still need to visit is the one in Burbank. I may wait a week until it's 80% off and buy some Skynyrd compilations. Nothing like spending two dollars on Confederate Flag waving rockers.

All this Circuit City liquidation business has made it very clear that Best Buy is way better. I always knew Best Buy was a better store, even if it's one of the devils that has ruined the music industry. But seeing Circuit City after Circuit City crumbling to the ground really underscores that point.

If you're trying to get an LCD TV for free though, I should warn you that they're only 30% off. I imagine they'll start selling them on eBay before they raise the discount to anything over 50%.

But seriously... if you need cables, blank CD's, or anything miscellaneous like that, just go already!

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: SPECIAL TREAT

2009-02-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday I went to Joshua Tree National Park and finally had a chance to really explore the place. As you may recall from my Southern California post, I couldn't see much of the park last time because of a missing kid. Then when I did get out, I was attacked by bees. This time however, Jen and I got to hike around and see most of the park! It's stunning if you haven't been. Not just joshua trees. Lots and huge ass rocks too!

At the park I bought a DVD that showcases almost all of the National Parks (55 to be exact... Three parks were established after the DVD was made). This inspired me to look at a map of the country and circle all the National Parks, National Monuments, National Historic Parks, etc that I have visited. I'm sure I missed a few but it's a pretty complete list. I'm now going through each park on the DVD and making a list of the next few I want to visit. Since some of these parks are as far away as American Samoa I don't know how soon I'll be adding some of these stamps to my National Parks Passport. As you can see from this chart, I haven't been to many of the Island parks. Channel Islands is about it. But no American Samoa, Virgin Islands, Dry Tortugas, or Isle Royale.

If you've been to any National Parks that I haven't circled, let me know! I want to hear all about what they're like.

Also, if anyone ever wants to play some National Park Monopoly, come on over! I have it!

TOMATO TUESDAYS

2009-02-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

I'm too stressed out by the economy to talk about anything having to do with news. So today I will turn my attention to tomatoes. I know a lot of folks hate tomatoes. Their slimy membranes dripping down your lips and their seeds getting stuck in your teeth. Yum. I personally think they're great. I prefer them cooked but raw's good too. Now, I don't really care for them on sandwiches. Sundried tomatoes are good on a slab of ciabatta bread but a regular old white bread and tomato sandwich is nasty. But maybe that's the white bread.

You often hear that the tomato is not a vegetable but a fruit. I think that's a load of shit. It's both. It is the fruit of a plant and it does have seeds and all that but its purpose on a plate is strictly vegetable. Just like a duck is a bird but it's not quite "white" meat, the tomato swings both ways.

There are many types of tomatoes and this is by no means a fully comprehensive guide, but I hope it'll help somewhat in your tomato decision making.

ROMA TOMATO

It's my understanding that the Roma tomato is a form of plum tomato. This is a good tomato for tomato sauce and salsa. It's a flexible tomato. I'm not sure how it's grown or anything like that. But in the realm of tomatoes, it's a solid player.

BEEFSTEAK TOMATO

This is the ultimate sandwich tomato. It's big and like the name says beefy. I think the Hothouse tomato is similar. But I could be making that up.

GRAPE TOMATO

These are little tomatoes that are shaped like grapes. They're usually sweet as well.

CHERRY TOMATO

This is also a small tomato. Unlike the grape tomato, it's round and plump like a cherry.

HEIRLOOM TOMATO

I love eating heirloom tomatoes at restaurants but I never buy them. The ones in the stores always look filthy. They're splotchy and covered in dirt and soil. No thanks. If you can brave the cleaning process though, the heirloom is a tomato treasure. Rich in flavor, yet bold in texture, the heirloom is the jewel of the tomato tree.

TOMATOES ON THE VINE

Another self-explanatory tomato. These are my favorite because they feel the most natural. They can still be covered in pesticides, but something about that vine makes me hope for the best. I think I buy these the most as they seem versatile enough for whatever I'm cooking. The cooking experts may disagree, but I use them in anything I want.

In case you want know about more tomatoes, check this out.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: RAT BUTTER AND TONS OF BABIES

2009-02-12T19:34:00.000-08:00

I'm really horrified right now.

It started when I went to CNN.com and read that this peanut butter salmonella outbreak was because of dead rodents in the ventilation system! And rodent shit! Pleeease. I already knew about rodents' love of peanut butter after a Trivial Pursuit question taught me that the FDA allows a handful of rat hairs in every vat of peanut butter. For those that know Alex, you know how much I love peanut butter. Peanut butter on my icecream, spoons of peanut butter, even peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. But I may need to take a break... Oh it's making my intestines do things that intestines should never do...

...So I'm already feeling a little bit sick. And then I see this: AHHHHHHHHH

Look at those veins! I wonder what folks thought when they saw her in the mall. Did anyone with baby knowledge say, "By George! That woman is gonna have 8 babies!" Maybe some people assumed that she was just carrying the world's biggest baby. I hope at this point her doctors have learned their lesson. Because this woman is sick enough to start having more kids. I love the rumors that she is actually obsessed with Angelina Jolie and that's why she's having all the kids. Makes sense to me.

Sigh. I need to practice my excel skills now because I have an interview at a temp agency tomorrow. I'll also be doing a WPM typing test! I should practice some of the free ones online. I'm a fast typer but under pressure, it may be like peeing in urinals. I have to wear a suit too. I don't know if I can type in a suit... I'll let you know how it goes.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS

2009-02-10T08:49:00.000-08:00

Well good lord, it's been awhile. I've been leaving my job (although I'll be working there again today and tomorrow, so it's not really "leaving") and spending the past several days training my replacement. Now that I won't have a steady source of income or any real idea of what I'll be working on when, it's absolutely pressing that I make a schedule. There are too many things that need to be done now that I have actual time! I'm not sure the best way to go about doing a schedule that'll stick. I hear great things about Google Calendar but I can never seem to find the tab through my Gmail to make it sync. The iPhone calendar is another option but so time consuming. Hmmm. I bet if I use the Mac computer I can sync to my iPhone. Oh I bet I can! That'll probably be the best option.

Here's a sample schedule for Thursday

8:30AM- Wake up and write scripts

10:45AM- Leave for the doctor

11:30AM- Go to doctor

12:30PM- Eat lunch/drive home

1:30PM- Browse the internet

2:00PM- Look for part-time jobs, call temp agencies, etc

2:30PM- Go to gym

3:15PM- Begin preparing traditional Bolognese sauce (should take about 5 hours)

4:00PM- Work on children's book.

5:00PM- Browse the internet

5:30PM- Blog

6:00PM- Review albums

As you can see, I'm planning to do a lot of different types of writing. I already write scripts that have gone nowhere. But with children's books, I dream of empires, maybe even a themepark based on my characters. In addition to all that, I've begun writing a local music blog (my first published review is here: http://www.theredalert.com/reviews/coconutrecords.php ) Yee-haw!

I'll keep you updated with reviews. Soon I'll also be posting sections of the children's book on Friendly Fridays. Eventually the plan is get a full blog/website just for that book. But good to give a sneak peek to my loyal fans.

Tomorrow, the Wagonwheel will roll again!

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: WILL RETURN

2009-02-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

Hey folks... I'm currently leaving a job and trying to make sure I don't leave all my personal belongings in the fridge. This blog will hopefully resume tomorrow... If not, it'll resume from my house when I'm unemployed

MUSIC MONDAYS: TO EAT OR HEAR?

2009-02-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

You get lots of hypothetical questions that ask people to choose between sound and sight. But what about sound and taste? That's too difficult to answer fully. No more Miles Davis or no more Kobe sliders? Impossible! But as I've come to realize, it's not so hard to cut some dollars off my daily lunches so I can support my music buying habit. No reason I shouldn't be able to eat AND hear.

Last night I almost won a 9 disc Mini-LP King Crimson set. I got out bid with 6 seconds left. The rush of coming that close was exhilarating. I don't even care that I lost. I'm sort of happy that I lost but came so close. I'm an addict. That's what it comes down to. In the 45 seconds that I led (and the forty minute beforehand where I decided I'd bid), I calculated that if I had $5 lunches instead of $10 lunches for two months, I'd pay off the set. Not bad. Now if I could cut down to $2 lunches, I can buy even more stuff.

I've actually found quite a few places to get lunch for under 10 dollars. It's easy to forget when you spend $25 one day on sushi or $15 on a salad, but even in LA, deals exist. These deals- Like California Sushi and Teriyaki's amazing $3.95 lunch special- have allowed me to continue buying music without breaking the bank. Another way to save music money is to never get an actual drink. Just say "a cup for water." If you're a thief, you can easily sneak in some soda. I keep it pure though.

... As long as we're on the topic of economical music, let me let you into a little secret: the dollar's doing a lot better these days. Either that or the pound is sinking. Go to Amazon UK now! The deals are tremendous.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: BABY RHINO

2009-01-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

EXCUSE THE LAME MUSIC

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW YORK

2009-01-28T14:41:00.001-08:00

Our wheels have finally landed on another massively huge state. I had to make a choice here: create a second post for New York City or just gloss over it. I've decided on the latter, mainly because New York should be saved for Subwaywheel Sundays or something, right? It's not really in the spirit of Wagonwheel. Plus, Philly's so close to New York. I don't know why that matters but I've just been there so many times that it doesn't feel right. I decide Wagonwheel rules, so that's where we'll stand. If you've got a problem, start your own Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Of course, I will sue you for copyright infringement but whatever, small price to pay for being stubborn... So yes, no full NYC report. I'll summarize Gotham with a quick overrated/underrated list

OVERRATED: The Yankees, Times Square, Midtown, Parts of Brooklyn, Kim's Video (sorry, I have Amoeba).

UNDERRATED: Other Parts of Brooklyn, Pizza and Bagels (yes, they're that good), Harlem (real Harlem, not Columbia Harlem).

New York understandably takes the shine away from the rest of the state to the point that anything forty minutes north of New York is considered "upstate." I've had the pleasure of visiting most regions of New York, so I'll be the first to say that NYC should change it's name. Or just become five separate cities again. Enough with the population inflation.

So let's say you're adventurous and want to explore beyond city limits, here's what I can recommend

-THE CATSKILLS

As seen in Dirty Dancing, these small mountains once held bustling summer retreats for families such as mine. They still exist as structure, but they bustle little in 2009. I had the pleasure of going to the famous Kutcher's and Raleigh hotels for the ATP festival last year. It's a horribly dated dusty place but if you're there for a good reason (family reunion, concert, etc) the Shining-ness of it all is actually somewhat endearing.

-BUFFALO/NIAGARA FALLS

In the NW region of the state lies a small city that has caused confusion amongst foodies and sports fans for years (if the team name is Bills, why is the logo a Buffalo?) The winters are so miserable that residents could only afford to heat themselves up with hot sauce. And so the "Buffalo wing" was born. Started at a place called The Anchor Bar, the buffalo wing has gone on to confuse everyone from Jessica Simpson to your three year-old son. No, it's not called a "buffalo wing" because it comes from or looks like or is fed to buffaloes. The city's called Buffalo and they made some fuckin brilliant wing sauce one day and like any good city named the food after themselves. Just like a cheesesteak outside of Philly isn't really a cheese steak, a wing outside of Buffalo ain't shit. I knew someone from Buffalo who recommended a place called Duff's to me. Oh my. So DAMN GOOOOOOOD. And now I recommend it to you.

About 45 minutes up the road is the very Niagara Falls you read about as a child. Except they sort of suck from the American side. Unless you have immigration problems, make the trek over the border. You won't be sorry. I haven't been to Iguazu or other WORLD FAMOUS falls, but this beast can roar pretty loud.

-FROM BUFFALO TO ALBANY

I don't really know. Rochester and Syracuse are both on this path but I did the drive at night. I stopped at Roy Rogers at a rest stop and had the worst cup of coffee I've ever had in my life.

-THE HUDSON RIVER VALLEY

Oh what a river. You know you're a rather kickass region if a famous American school of painting is named after you. The drive from NYC to the region is just lovely. Shockingly you see a lot of the Hudson river. If you have a couple days to kill, it's the perfect spring or autumn getaway. Hey, maybe you'll get inspired to do this:

-LAKE GEORGE

Not really sure about this place. I went for a few days with my camp 14 years ago. I remember a lot of stands selling Beavis and Butthead shirts. Felt like the Jersey Shore.

-LONG ISLAND

Here's a secret. The "island" of Long Island is the same "island" of Brooklyn and Queens. It's all one island. I used to come here every summer with my parents to visit our friends in the Hamptons. Then one summer his daughter gave me a beer. And another. And another. I believe by the time all was said and done, I had consumed ten beers and also had a screwdriver. I woke up in my vomit. I may've had sex with a dog named Lacey. I don't remember. Anything's possible. The next morning I told my mother that it was all from the little wine I had at dinner. I blamed it on my weak tolerance. She didn't believe me. Rightfully so.

And thus concludes New York.

Here's the detailed picture

MUSIC MONDAYS... AND I'M BACK

2009-01-26T12:10:00.000-08:00

I traveled hours and waited in lines, nearly suffocating ten times on the metro, inches from falling on the third rail, all to see Aretha Franklin perform at the Capitol. Too bad she only got one song. They had to move things along for some other guy. Oh well. It was worth the wait.

Now I'm back!

After DC, I spent far too much money in New York on records. The funny thing is that I was really close to spending no money on records. The first several shops I went into were mostly underwhelming. And then I bought one album. And the rest was downhill. The good thing at least is that unlike jewelry or shoes, rare records are mostly affordable. Yes, there are albums that go for thousands but none on my wish list are nearly that high. As far as shopping addictions go, this one is mostly manageable. Of course, I'll have no job in two weeks and then I'll be forced to sell my stuffed owl Huggie into slavery. Sorry adorable bird, times are rough.

In other music news, Neil Young - the closet thing I have to an idol- has officially pissed me off. For those who think Chinese Democracy's delays were terrible, consider the history of Neil Young's archives. First promised in the eighties (or maybe even the seventies), it has now had about fifteen release dates come and go. In that time it has grown from a six CD set to a 10 Blu-Ray set. I even have the thing pre-ordered on Amazon, although it's just been announced that Neil has delayed the release yet again... For a new album of songs... about eco-friendly cars. Already he has released this video for the title track... I love Neil and I love that he does whatever the fuck he wants and that you have to deal with this kind of shit to get the gems, but oh man... I admit, I actually kind of like the song and video as guilty pleasures. But come on now. Seriously. I WANT MY ARCHIVES

One more thing, get the new Animal Collective. Hype that's matched by super quality.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW MEXICO

2009-01-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since we rode the wagon across the US. Today we're back with one of my favorite states: New Mexico! Known as one of the "Four Corners" and also for being the sequel to the country of Mexico, New Mexico has several charms. From the epic thunderstorms at dusk to the bluest skies you've ever seen at most other times, New Mexico is a place for lovers, dreamers and those who just like to stroll. It's also the sight of my first encounter with anti-Semitism. I was at a Santa Fe crafts fair and this white lady was selling some fake Indian shit. I say that mainly because there are plenty of real Hopi Indians (amongst other tribes) selling genuine crafts in Santa Fe. I wanted this ceramic bull she was selling for 5 bucks. 5 seemed a bit steep for me. After all I was about 8 with a meager allowance.

"I'll give you 3," I said.

My dad walked over and the merchant quickly brought up my bargaining, telling my dad "that boy Jewed me down."

Oh good times.

Honestly, New Mexico is great. It doesn't have as much beauty as say Utah, but it has a similarly rugged landscape. Not quite desert, but close. High desert they may call certain areas. The people are much nicer too (minus that one woman). Santa Fe is a great little town and the food... oh my the food. RED or GREEN is the question they'll ask you. This refers to chili sauce of course. The fajitas are damn astounding. There aren't that many states that serve straight up Southwestern food. Most are more on the Mexican or Barbecue side of the fence. But if you like blue corn enchiladas, then this is the state for you!

I need to go back to visit the famous White Sands National Monument. I've been to or through New Mexico about four or five times and I've almost gone to White Sands almost every time but I keep missing it. Damn it! The problem is that it's a bit out of the way. This year I'll go. I must! I must! Just look at this!!!

Just stunning.

Well here's where I have been. Albuquerque. Santa Fe. Taos. The place where they set off some nukes (I think that's near White Sands, so I must've been close...)

Oh nevermind... it was Los Alamos. Totally opposite directoin.

Wow look at this map of my travels. Funny pattern. Looks sort of like a person bending over.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: THIS BLOG

2009-01-13T17:02:00.000-08:00

I hate to say it but blog entries have become a chore. Sad, isn't it? I want the blog to be like a massage. After a long day, an entry should soothe my muscles. The composition of entry should be like Epsom salt. Like a spoonful of peanut butter and a lick of brownie batter without the salmonella risk. Not on my back, in my mouth. Tastes good. Right? But it isn't. Blogs taste like sandpaper right now. Like overcooked salmon. It just another thing to do. This proves that I'm lazy. That's okay I guess. Wait wait, no. Lazy is not okay... I don't think I'm actually lazy. I just hold myself to high standards.

Now on to to business... I've spent the last few weeks trying to unsubscribe from e-mail lists. You don't really realize quite how many things you are subscribed to until you start trying to remove yourself. I thought the best way to go about doing it was to wait until I got an e-mail from a list I didn't want to belong to and then unsubscribe. Overall this probably was the best way but I'm still getting e-mails constantly from lists I'm subscribed to! It's like a hydra. You cut off the head and it keeps growing back. Okay that analogy isn't quite right because once I unsubscribe from a site, I stop getting e-mails. It's not like there's one particular secret list (like the special hydra head) that I can burn and all the others will die. Plus don't hydras grow two heads for every one you cut? It's more like a 300 hundred headed beast who you only think has 10 heads, but once you go into battle and start chopping heads, you see there's many more heads than you first thought. Or like trying to guess how many jelly beans are in a jar. Or guessing the price of musical instruments or golf sets on the Price is Right. I'm sorry but that drum set is not worth $1000.

As we speak, I just got another one!

This post is probably better suited for my ranting on Thoughtful Thursdays, but too late now. I'm not writing a new entry. Sorry.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: OLD PEOPLE AND WEED

2009-01-08T16:17:00.001-08:00

So old people drive slowly. This isn't much of a revelation. It's just true. At least for most old folks. Or at least the ones in Cadillacs. It's partially due to eyesight, partially due to perception (when you're old you probably think things are moving faster than they are), partially due to spine curvature and the decreased distance between foot and pedal that people past 65 experience. People who smoke weed also drive slowly. That's definitely due to changed perception. To make matters super complicated, in states with medical marijuana lots of old people smoke weed! So then what? Is it a double negative? It's not like I see some old people driving slowly and others driving REAAAAALLLLLY slowly. Maybe they don't drive.

I remember one time I was in Philly and this asshole cut me off. I was at a red light and when it turned green this car just went flying in front of me and shot past at like 70 miles an hour. As the car passed, I looked over and much to my surprise, it was an old man! Definitely 70 or older. Usually I'd be pissed if someone cut me off but this time I was actually happy. I had never seen an old driver with such confidence, such bold courage! I felt like anything was possible at that point.

I know that when I'm old I'll drive slowly without realizing it. I'll probably have pride that I'm not driving slowly, but a good look at the speedometer will reveal "14 MPH." This leads me to a slightly different topic. MPH signs. How many different speed limits have I seen signs for?

Definitely 25. And 35. And 55. And 65. And 70. And 75. What in between? 15 MPH in a school zone. In parking lots I think you see 5 and 10 MPH often. I know I've seen a 45 MPH sign once or twice. 40? Perhaps. Not sure. Same with 50 and 30. They probably exist. My sister's old school had a 7 MPH sign. It wasn't a fake looking sign either. It was a real speed limit sign. It just said 7 MPH. That's the best.

Actually this is the best.

The description from where I found this says "The Marine Terminal complex has nicely paved roads -- and peculiar speed limit signs. All the speeds are marked with peculiar values: 11, 16, 21, 26, 29 miles per hour. The odd signs are part of the terminal's safety program, operating on the theory that the unusual number will force drivers to pay more attention to the speed limits. The tour guides seemed evenly split on the program's effectiveness."

This is in Valdez, Alaska in case you want to see it in person.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: PROTESTS

2009-01-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

As a Jew, I have some natural allegiance to Israel. But as someone who cares about suffering, I have some natural allegiance to Palestinians. The more I learn, the more obvious it is that the problems in the Middle East can't be blamed on any one group of people. These are ancient historical problem as well as recent historical problems. The legacy of war and past atrocities have tainted the whole conversation. Here's what I have realized though. As I watch cops walking down the street to keep the protests in line, it's become clear: the Israeli government and Hamas both suck.

I don't see how Hamas' firing of rockets does anything to help the Palestinian people. Obviously they know Israel will go crazy. I guess they do it precicesly for that reason. They know what will happen and they hope they can get worldwide sympathy from Israel over reacting. Which is what always happens. Yes, Israel should defend itself. As a small country, as a Jewish homeland amidst hostile Muslim neighbors, it can't come off as weak. But the machismo of the recent attacks and this whole "shock and awe" mentality does abolutely nothing. You'll never kill all the militants.

That's my two cents. Most of my parents' Zionist friends would tie me to a pole, cover me in honey and unleash a swarm of bees on me for even saying a negative word about Israel. But that's the problem. Just look at all the various Mid-East players' reaction to Obama. It's either you support bombing the shit out of Gaza or you support Hamas. Black and fucking white has gotten us nowhere.

Meanwhile, Obama's senate seat is a mess and they're calling him and his allies "racist" for blocking Burris even though his appointment was designed just to put everyone in this predicament in the first place. All this CONTROVERSY and the man hasn't even been sworn in yet.

Speaking of which, I'll be there. They say it'll be the largest gathering in US history. History1 I'm equally terrified and exhilerated. You know me and large crowds.

Now it's time to try to make it home in the protest traffic. The helicopter is out...

MUSIC MONDAYS: BACK IN TOWN!

2009-01-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm back in town! My trip was wonderful. CD's are so cheap in Buenos Aires. Records are pretty cheap too. I mostly bought Bee Gees albums that are out of print in America for anywhere from 5-9 dollars. I really love the Bee Gees (pre-disco and post-disco). It's really two bands. The sound is just completely different. People make fun of the disco Bee Gees often. Easy targets I guess. Three white guys dressed in white singing high. Plus they're brothers. Siblings make great targets... But if anything, disco Bee Gees is more timeless. "Nights on Broadway" still sounds fresh today! Late 60's Bee Gees on the other hand can often come off as quite dated. It's even easier to make fun of the romantic folk-pop era Bee Gees than the "Saturday Night Fever" era. But for the most part, despite being overly earnest at times, albums like "1st," "Horizontal" and "Trafalgar" toe the line pretty well. Their undisputed masterpiece, at least of pre-disco Bee Gees, is "Odessa." It's finally being re-released in lavish 3-disc form next week! I'm already waiting for the package.

My other latest obsession is Eddie Kendricks. I've always loved David Ruffin (the other Temptations lead-vocalist if you haven't heard) but for some reason never paid much attention to Kendricks. I didn't know one way or another. Simply no opinion. But oh me, oh motherfucking my. His sweet falsetto is Curtis-good. Just heartbreaking shit.

Just listen

Damn.

Has to be the best song I've ever heard about losing your love. I assume from the lyrics that Johnny Mae died, but maybe she just left. Either way, the result is the same. She's dead to him.

Here's one more for good measure... This one makes me just wanna throw my hands in the air and testify. Good Lord. I'm a Jew and this song isn't religious at all but you can feel the church in there. If you know gospel, you know what I mean. (Side note, sampled by Kanye on Lil Wayne's "Let the Beat Build")

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW HAMPSHIRE

2008-12-17T17:43:00.000-08:00

New Hampshire is state where I have done plenty of fun things but have spent very little time. Actually almost all of my hours in New Hampshire have been after the sun has gone down. I visited the lovely town of Keene a couple of times in the daylight, but other than that, everything has either been a late night drive on route somewhere else or a concert.

I remember driving through New Hampshire on my way to Vermont thinking that Dover was the biggest city in the state. Back then I assumed like many people do that Capital cities are big. So not having heard of any other cities in New Hampshire, I just thought Dover was the largest. So imagine my surprise when on a drive I see something that almost looks like a real city even though I'm a good 50 miles from Dover. Turns out that New Hampshire has an almost-city called Manchester. Apparently it's a vaguely famous place for no other reason than it's New Hampshire's biggest city. It's no New York, but at 108,000 people it ranks as the largest city in "Northern New England" and the 9th biggest in all of New England! Okay, so it's not much. But it's more than I thought New Hampshire had.

I actually went into the city limits of Manchester once for a Neil Young concert. It's sort of lame. Strike that... really lame. I would never live there. I'd rather live in a "scary" city like Camden or Detroit than in Manchester. At least there would be some quality parties in the hood.

Other than Manchester, I went to the even shittier beach town of "Portsmouth" to see Ween. The concert was great (if you like Ween at least) but the town was really awful. It was like the Jersey shore but populated by people who consider Manchester to be a major city. Okay, maybe some of them have been to Boston too. Regardless, the place sucked.

I'd like to actually see more of the natural beauty NH has to offer, such as the storied "Old Man of the Mountain." But the "Old Man" fell down a few years back and it's not quite the same anymore. I'm sure they still have some sparkling streams and jagged peaks to entice me.

MUSIC MONDAYS: THE BEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR, AS A MIX

2008-12-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

I love to read top 10 lists, but I loathe creating them. Deciding the top 3 albums of the year is one thing but how do you mark one album "7" and another "8"? Too tough. So I decided to start an Alex tradition. For those in the know, you may recall that I love to make mixes. Some folks have even told me that I’m pretty damn good at making them. So here is Alex’s "2008 Best of the Year mix." This isn’t a novel idea but I’m putting a bit of a spin on it. These aren’t my eighteen favorite songs. In some cases the songs may be my favorites of the year but more specifically the albums from which I have snipped them are my 18 favorite albums of the year. The order of songs on the mix has nothing to do with which of these 18 albums I like best. It’s a mix. I’m thinking flow and feel and all that. So here we go…

HONORABLE MENTION ALBUMS THAT DIDN’T MAKE MY LIST: These three albums all almost donated a song to my mix, but didn’t quite make the cut.

1. My Morning Jacket- Evil Ways. Very enjoyable, well conceived in certain areas but wildly unfocused in others (ahem, Highly Suspicious).

2. Mystery Jets- Twenty One. A perfectly solid album that I listened to for two weeks and then stopped. I didn’t remember this album even came out until James reminded me last week. Then I was like “oh maybe I should add that to mix.” But no. It remains off.

3. The Walkmen- You & Me. Quality melancholy sounds. But it’s never good when almost every song has you thinking “Is my CD on repeat? Cause Track 8 sounds just like Track 2 sounds just like Track 6.”

And now the real mix, which I have titled O HATE. Get it, 08. Oh Eight. O HATE. Uh-huh, you know you love it. Cause isn't a best of list just a way to hate on other albums? Maybe that's a stretch. But people love to hate on each other's best of lists. So that makes sense.

And another note, iTunes is stupid so if you’re using it or any other stupid program, please save this as a playlist and make sure it runs in the following order for optimal listening.

1. Sigur Ros- "Inní mér syngur vitleysingur" from Inní mér syngur vitleysingur

What at first seems like a shockingly upbeat album from Sigur Ros soon recedes back to their regular glacial chill. Now with Iceland’s dead economy, I can only imagine their songs will become even more depressing. This tune is as joyous as it gets though. Not Sigur Ros' best album but still gorgeous and with these few early diversions, less like one long song.

2. M83- "Kim & Jessie" from Saturdays = Youth

Oh the eighties are back. But this is the infectious eighties, not the shitty eighties that makes pretty much any movie created during the time period completely unwatchable now. And this particular song makes me feel like I’m in DONNIE DARKO. Not that that was actually made in the eighties. You know what I’m saying though.

3. Spiritualized- "Sitting On Fire" from Songs in A&E

The album where J. Spaceman almost died. A&E refers to the Brits' ICU, not the Bounty Hunter channel. For a full on report about the horrifying awesomeness of this album, check my post from when it came out.

4. Hot Chip- "Touch Too Much" from Made in the Dark

Not as good as The Warning, but a solid balance of danceable beats and beautifully reedy vocal lines abound. The sequencing of tracks could be improved, especially towards the end, but that’s just me being a grouch at this point.

5. Ne-Yo- "Fade Into the Background" from Year of the Gentleman

I met Ne-Yo a couple years back. He’s a nice man. Or should I say a nice “Gentleman.” This album shows you can sing R&B and still be classy. As far as mainstream R&B goes, this is definitely the best as far as songwriting goes. He writes all the damn songs, give him a point for that alone. Let’s hope it wins all the many Grammy’s it was nominated for.

6. TV On the Radio- "Love Dog" from Dear Science

Maybe the best album of the year. I could’ve picked any number of tunes from it. This one in particular has a lovely balance of harmony, melody and instruments. Most reviews will mention how this album is SO 2008. This song isn’t the most 2008 of the bunch, but it still feels current to me.

7. Calexico- "Man Made Lake" from Carried to Dust

All my money down, there’s no better band to listen to while driving through Arizona at dusk. I’d rather listen to Neil Young’s Doom Trilogy in this situation but that’s one man, not a band. This is such a dreamy southwestern album. I can taste the cactus needles with every note.

8. Bon Iver- "Lump Sum" from For Emma, Forever Ago

I first heard of this band after reading reviews of the next band’s album. Sort of the flipside to the neo-Americana coin. It’s folk music, woods music, but also soul music in its own special way. They rock out harder live but on record it’s a perfect dose of the wilderness…

9. Fleet Foxes- "Blue Ridge Mountains" from Fleet Foxes

… Just like this album. As the title of this song may suggest, these guys are into the whole scenic thing. It’s hard to believe that they are like 21. This is some rather traveled music.

10. Vampire Weekend- "M79" from Vampire Weekend

I wanted to hate these guys, especially after friends of mine told me that at the concert the drummer was wearing a Phish shirt. But about six months after the release, I gave in. It’s a damn good, tight, to-the-point, economical but musically sophisticated album. Even if I would probably get great pleasure from kicking these guys’ popped-collar asses.

11. Okkervil River- "Starry Stairs" from The Stand-Ins

The sequel to last year’s slightly better “Stage Names.” Lyrically, Will Sheff is pretty much the best out right now. And this song has a great horn line, even if you aren’t into the whole Okkervil aesthetic.

12. Lambchop- "Popeye" from OH

I remember when these guys were pretty big, both in terms of band members (once they had like 16 people in the band) and in terms of popularity. Never big like Green Day or John Tesh, but respectable. A couple years back I saw them at the Troubadour and the place was nearly empty. Now that’s a feat. Anyway, this is an album after that tour and it’s a real gem. Country-soul anchored by Kurt Wagner’s unmistakable baritone. If this is enough to put you to sleep just wait till the breakdown.

13. Department of Eagles- "Waves of Rye" from In Ear Park

I’m a huge Grizzly Bear fan. So imagine my surprise when Jen told me about a spin-off band that sounded just like them. Damn near a new Grizzly Bear album out of nowhere. This particular song isn’t the obvious choice from the album but I think its quite indicative of the DoE’s penchant for building vocals and impressive instrumental palettes.

14. Portishead- "Hunter" from Third

And one of the great 90’s bands has returned. With a bang mind you. You can tell this album is Portishead but it’s about as far from “trip-hop” as one could get. More like sci-fi chamber almost-pop hop? Beth Gibbons has been known to make people crash their cars after hearing her call.

15. Erykah Badu- "The Cell" from New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)

Probably the most underrated album of the year. I love Ms. Badu and I was convinced that she would never come out with another album again. But then she drops this banger. It’s like taking her debut Baduizm and remixing it with Funkadelic's Maggot Brain. Trippy, relevant and catchy as that disease in OUTBREAK.

16. Hercules and Love Affair- "Hercules Theme" from Hercules and Love Affair

Come on now. Songs don’t get more exciting than this. It almost defies words. Those horns, those feline back-up vocal noises. This album is so varied in its 90’s dance homages. Plus, it has Antony (a sorta sometimes transsexual) and a real deal transsexual as guest vocalists. You can’t beat that.

17. Of Montreal- "Wicked Wisdom" from Skeletal Lamping

Like every song on this love it or hate it album, this tune is 8+ songs in 1. Parts of this particular track will stay in your head for weeks. The live show is about as insane as it gets (see my post about it) and the more you listen to this album the more the chaotic song snippets coalesce into a deliberate whole.

18. Beach House- "Heart of Chambers" from Devotion

Horror music. They’re from Baltimore too. Makes sense. I can imagine any of these songs playing as Omar walks down the street with a shotgun. This album, like their last one is the soundtrack to that sensation people get a second before they fall asleep but while they’re still awake. That falling sensation. But if that sensation were actually pleasurable.

And thus concludes songs from Alex’s favorite albums of the year.

Oh, you wanna hear the mix too? Okay

http://www.sendspace.com/file/2ccgby

Remember to put it in the correct order if your iTunes tries to do otherwise!

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: HUGGAMO VS UGGAMO

2008-12-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

I may've mentioned the whole Huggamo/Uggamo debate on here before. To summarize, a huggamo is something that's cute with little debate. Puppies, kittens, etc are all huggamo.

Some other examples of huggamos include:

And this too:

But the uggamo is a bit trickier. An uggamo is something that's so ugly, it's cute. Or another way to look at it is this: an uggamo makes you feel all the emotional sensations of seeing something cute while simultaneously feeling revolted. The confusing thing about the uggamo is that some people find certain uggamos to be genuinely huggamo. Even suggest that these things are ugly and they'll destroy you. Take the pug for instance

This is the most classic UGGAMO. Pug lovers however can only see the cute. But please look at this guy objectively. He looks like a stuffed animal version of a hand that's been submerged in water for three hours. It's hideous. Yet cute. Uggamo.

Here are some other pictures. I'll let the folks at home decide whether it's HUGGAMO, UGGAMO or just plain UGLY.

And let us close with this video, which poses the same basic question.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: GURGLE GROWGLE

2008-12-11T17:37:00.001-08:00

No thoughts today. But FF tomorrow will be the cutest thing ever, so just wait...

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEVADA

2008-12-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

And Wagonwheel has returned!

Today we're onto Nevada. Have I even really been to Nevada? I've been to Vegas five times I think, which is technically in Nevada but that's Vegas. I haven't seen anything north of there. My first time in Nevada I at least drove for a good hour before hitting Vegas. That was quite a night. I had just gotten a flat tire in Arizona, right on the bend of a 75 MPH interstate. You couldn't see me at all. I tried to pull up as much as I could. Of course I knew next to nothing about changing tires and my jack at the time was about as effective as a straw...and I was on an uneven gravel turn-off. I couldn't get anyone to stop and help me except a car of Mexican men who spoke no English and didn't seem to know much about changing tires either. After about two hours of cursing, kicking, praying and crying, I managed to change the tire. A few minutes later, I hit Nevada. That was my first experience. Driving on a donut at 3 in the morning.

I made it to Vegas though! That first time was pretty nuts seeing Vegas come out of nowhere. Man, I wasn't even really aware of "The Strip." I ended up there only after I went to "Downtown Vegas" and saw four casinos. That first Vegas adventure was fun mainly because I explored Vegas. I had my tire changed and I played mini golf and I went to a thrift store. It wasn't all partying.

Since then, I've at least made the trek to the monumental Hoover Dam a couple times, which is really quite a marvel. If you haven't been, it's worth driving 30 mins the next time you're in Vegas. But don't pay to get into the actual dam. For one Jackson and a Lincoln (or 25 Washingtons or a Hamilton, a Lincoln, a Jefferson and 8 Washingtons)you get a better view and probably can seem some more of the dam's inner workings but that's pricey as hell. $25 for what? At least I think it's just "for what." If anyone out there has gone to the dam, and has paid to go in and it's at least three times better than not paying, let me know.

I'd like to explore some more of Nevada. Reno sounds interesting. And Great Basin National Park looks rather thrilling. But there's just so many other places to see in this country. Not enough time! I need an Alex that works and an Alex that see National Parks. Oh and an Alex that sits at home watching TV and playing video games. So three Alex's. That doesn't seem too unrealistic.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CRIME and PUNISHMENT

2008-12-09T17:34:00.000-08:00

With all the talk about crime and punishment these days, I started to think of forms that are now deemed inhumane. INHUMANE is a pretty odd word when applied to American C&P because as merciful as lethal injection is (and there's some debate on whether or not the injectee suffers), the US is the only Western Country that still has the death penalty to my knowldge. Now don't freak out at me for making this all political. This isn't a Pro or Anti Death Penalty post. Nonetheless, whether you think the death penalty is needed or not, most would admit that isn't exactly civilized. Important, necessary perhaps (although this isn't MY viewpoint) but not civilized. So if we make that concession, why are we pretending that we're doing an uncivilized act in a civil manner? How is death by hanging any less "cruel and unusual" than pumping poison into a man's veins? Plus, people who support the death penalty often support it because of the sweet justice it attempts to offer loved ones of victims. So shouldn't the murderers suffer? Again, this isn't my position, but I'm just trying to follow it logically.

This isn't only about the death penalty either. They no longer put people in the stocks and throw moldy tomatoes at them. They no longer let teachers hit kids with rulers.. Yet they do let football coaches work their team in 105 degree heat until the heftier folks suffer kidney failure.

If one "extinct punishment" could return, I'd love to see a resurgence in Firing Squad. It sounds awful. But it's just so shocking that it was ever allowed in our fine democracy that I think it should stay. Just for nostalgia. Stoning on the other hand goes a bit far. No burning. No drowning. No electric chair. Hanging is probably the cheapest. Well maybe firing squad is. I don't know. Actually the cheapest would be to abolish the death penalty instead of keeping people (often innocent people) waiting for 10,20,50 years. Okay, fine, this has turned into an anti-death penalty post. Here's what I say. Abolish the death penalty unless the loved ones need closure and vengeance. If they need closure, then turn the blind eye as they enact their revenge. Leave it on the field!

Ooh this is so very morbid... In case you're curious about states and the death penalty...

In the meantime, just make sure you don't commit crimes or put yourself in a position to be framed and you'll be fine.

MUSIC MONDAYS: PHILLY, ARCHIVES and XMAS

2008-12-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

I was hoping to have my Best of the Year mix up for your downloading pleasure today, but I still have some finalizations to make. I discussed this mix with a man many know as "James" amongst other aliases. He predictably hates a lot of it. That's good. I know I'm on the right track then... But let's move onto things we can all agree about. The new Philly Soul box set "Love Train" is one for the ages. I swear I'm not just promoting this because I'm from Philly. I'll be the first to admit that "Love Train" is a terrible name for this retrospective. My complaints end there though. Unlike some past sets that omitted the contributions of Thom Bell (Delfonics, The Spinners) and instead focused on the brilliant career of Gamble and Huff, "Love Train" brings them all together, plus adds some third party 70's Philly gems like "Be Thankful For What You Got." Add a booklet of informative essays, interviews and photos and you've got the perfect holiday gift. Plus, Amazon has it for $30. That's $7.50 a disc! 71 Tracks in all. Come on now. Whatcha waiting for?

In other music news, Neil Young has delayed his archives again. After 20 years of waiting, what's another few months or years? But the timing comes a day after the release oh a 5 minute Archives preview and a day after a Neil-insider hosted a chat about how great they'll be. So whet the appetite but replace the steak with a brick. Yum. One day perhaps, one day. By then maybe I'll have money to actually afford it...

...And now to get relevant about the season, a word on Christmas music. I'm of mixed emotions when it comes to Christmas music. It's not because I'm Jewish and think Jesus shouldn't be celebrated. Never. I just don't like how every radio station is taken over! That said, I am a bit fan of melancholy renditions of the minor key carols. Actually, I love all Christmas songs if I'm on the East Coast, and it's snowing. Or maybe just in a city. Department store windows and all that. Ah, Christmas cheer. Hot Cocoa and snowmen. All the classics. You miss a ton of that in California. Palm trees and Christmas just don't work. Sigh, I miss snow.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: DID YOU KNOW

2008-12-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

Here's a thought... Is Wagonwheel Wednesdays no more? Of course not. For whatever reason Wednesday has become my slack day. Last week I spent my whole Wednesday at home (before taking the red eye for T-Day) and I still didn't manage to inform you about travels. No excuse for that. Right now I'm trying to convince Jen to go on a week long Southwestern Road Trip in May. There are tons of National Parks I want to revisit and also places like White Sands National Monument that I keep missing out on. I think she'll be so impressed with my itinerary that she'll have to take the time off work. Then you'll hear about it on future Wagonwheels.

Now onto some thoughts... Wow nothing. My brain is vacant. I have nothing at all to say. This is bad... Let me hit my head on random objects around the office and see if that helps...

... Okay I hit my head on a coat rack and that seems to have done the trick.

Here are some random world facts that you may've never known!

*DID YOU KNOW? Camels are allergic to eggs.

*DID YOU KNOW? Crocodile Dundee was originally conceived as a project for Mel Gibson but by the time production started he no longer had an accent.

*DID YOU KNOW? Lebanon and Papa New Guinea don't recognize Washington, D.C. as the capital of the United States? They still consider Philadelphia (the original capital) as the official capital.

*DID YOU KNOW? After Eminem and Elton John's groundbreaking performance at the awards show, Eminem locked Elton in his piano. He also voted FOR Prop 8.

*DID YOU KNOW? Many years ago the order of planets from the sun went Venus, Mercury, Mars, Earth NOT Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. Apparently the dinosaurs had something to do with the switch. Or maybe the switch killed the dinosaurs. One or the other.

*DID YOU KNOW? The Whig Party has been predicted to make a comeback in 2020.

*DID YOU KNOW? Goomba and Mario were originally reversed. It was called Super Goomba Brothers and Goomba was the main guy and Mario was the first enemy. But then kids got scared during test runs and they changed it.

*DID YOU KNOW? In light of the water shortages in France, Evian has started creating water by combining two servings of Hydrogen with one serving of Oxygen.

Okay... That's good for now. There will be a quiz on Monday. Study up.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BOO GIANTS

2008-12-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know, I'd rather have some off field issues with a nearly undefeated team than a bunch of saints at 6-5-1 (yes, 6 wins, 5 losses and 1 tie... the Eagles tied a game this year. Actually of all the games in NFL history that have ended in ties, the Eagles have played in about 25% of them). That said, this Plaxico Burress business is downright nuts. If you don't know the story, the Giants rather good receiver accidentally shot himself in the leg the other day. He didn't have a permit for the gun and now he's in some legal trouble...

What gets me about this story though is that all these reports that "Burress was shot." Last night on Monday Night Football, his notoriously sleazy agent Drew Rosenhaus was talking about how frightened he was when he hard Plaxico was shot in the leg. Understandable since Rosenhaus' client Sean Taylor was killed last year after getting shot in the leg. But the problem is that while intruders broke into Sean Taylor's house and shot him, Plaxico Burress shot HIMSELF in the leg. Sure, it's serious. Sure, Drew should've been worried. But let's get the facts straight. Saying someone "was shot" implies that someone else did the shooting. "Plaxico" =Subject, "shot"= verb. The preposition has been left out of the sentence, which is usually a practice done because the prepositional phrase is assumed. Like "The tennis player lost." One would assume he lost to another tennis player. If he actually lost to himself, the sentence would probably read "The tennis player lost to himself." Sad, but maybe he lost at solitaire not tennis. So Rosenhaus, listen: Be worried about your damn client. But don't pretend he was a real victim. Your client last year was a real victim. Plaxico is just a Superbowl Champion with a really unfortunate name.

MAMMOTH MONDAYS

2008-12-01T16:49:00.001-08:00

Today's Music Monday has been usurped by the news that scientists are well on their way to cloning a Woolly Mammoth. For those that don't know animals, these guys are extinct. Loooong extinct. They're also really adorable. Mind you, I've seen Jurassic Park. I know the dangers of bringing back animals from the dead. But can you imagine? If they can customize little mammoths? Oh the possibilities have me rolling on the floor with cute-induced laughter. Many of you may not realize that Mammoths, despite their rather gnarly name, are indeed some huggable creatures.

Look

Okay, I'll admit, that's a stuffed mammoth. But even this true-to-life replica is friendly enough to make a Russian wrestler go "aw."

I'm being selfish. Mammoths shouldn't be brought back. It's cruel to everyone, mostly the mammoth. The amount of money and fuel that will be burnt to make this happen, not to mention the bidding war amongst the world's zoos to host this guy... Maybe he should just remain dead. It's like that episode of Buffy, where she brings her Mom back to life and you see her walking from the graveyard to the house and Buffy's warned that this raising the dead thing is imperfect and there can be some serious repercussions and the last minute Buffy undoes the revival. It's sometimes best to remember things as they were and leave it at that. Not to mention, they're also talking about cloning Neanderthals. Now that's the worst idea yet. They'd just clone tons of them and make them slaves. Would they be kept in a zoo too? They wouldn't know how to interact with humans obviously. They'd give babies nightmares. Why even try? There's a horror movie for you. Night of the Living Neanderthals.

Please don't open that box.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CABINETS AND JEALOUSY

2008-11-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

Without the election, there's not much to talk about is there? Actually there's plenty. The economy still sucks. Wall Street goes up and down based on announcements. China is still sending a man to Mars. Okay, not quite. But how do you like that space program? Oh we're so fucked.

The main news has been over Obama's cabinet. But even that has slowed down since we know most of the front runners. What ever happened to all the Republicans that Obama said he'd put in there? Not that I really want any. Just want the Dems to come out as the bigger party... Okay update. Obama's keeping Robert Gates as Secretary of Defense. At least for now. Makes sense with two wars going on.

Enough serious thought. I saw in the supermarket today that Angelina has been talking about Jen behind her back again. And that she walked around naked to seduce a married Brad! And it worked! This was all in US Magazine. Not a "respectable" publication, but a bit more trustworthy than your National Enquirers. I can't believe that this Jen/Angie feud is still talked about. Is it really there? Has Jen (by the way, remember when people called her Jennifer? They still call her "Jennifer Aniston." You never hear Jen Aniston. That sounds odd) not gotten over him? Hasn't she had like three boyfriends since? Isn't she dating John Mayer again now? Wait, were Brad and Jen married? Are Angie and Brad married? I don't know who's married in Hollywood and who's just dating VERY SERIOUSLY... Ah, looks like B&J were MARRIED. For 5 years! I guess that could be hard to get over. Especially if your man is Brad Pitt... and if the other woman is a beautiful lunatic like Angelina Jolie... Oh wait! They divorced after JEN was caught cheating. This is messier than I thought....

In other exciting news, I saw a turducken at Whole Foods today. I had never actually seen one before. It's a bit weird to me that they sell premade turkduckens. I always assumed that turduckens were hand assembled at home... Also I saw chicken hearts and honestly nearly threw up all over the market floor. Something about eating a heart just doesn't work for me one bit. My grandma always used to tell me to shy away from organ meat. Amen to that.

MUSIC MONDAYS: OF INSANITY

2008-11-24T16:28:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes? Probably. I know there are a lot of Madonna fans in the audience. Fair enough. Well have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes plus "actors" and dancers? Ok ok, I'm sure you have. But seriously now. Straight to the point. Have you ever been to a show that featured a saloon scene, paper mache beasts, people dressed as pigs and tigers, a man being hung from a noose, the same man coming out of a coffin from the ground, dressed as a centaur one minute, wearing nothing but skimpy underwear the next, and then being painted completely red? Well don't feel bad, I hadn't either. But then came "Of Montreal." We didn't have the horse like they did in New York, but nonetheless, this ranks up there as one of the most bizarre shows I've ever seen.

Unlike some other oddball performances I've been to, the music was nearly as strong as the visuals. They played nearly non-stop for over 2 hours, ending the show with blistering covers of "Take me Out" and "Smells like Teen Spirit." Kevin Barnes is definitely one of the strangest men to grace a stage. I never got to see Bowie or Prince at their oddest. But I can only imagine now that I've seen their heir apparent.

The show took place at the newly reopened Palladium. I had heard horror stories about this place but was hoping for the best since Live Nation now owned it. Not that I have any great love affair with Live Nation. But I know they like to make their venues nice. The outside looks great now and the inside wasn't too bad either. The problem wasn't the decor...

...The main GA area is like a large roller skating rink. But apparently a GA ticket wasn't enough to get you into this section (which probably holds about 1000 people). You needed some wrist band too. No mention of this shit on the tickets or anything. Of course they were out of wrist bands even though the floor was about 60% full tops. Eventually we just snuck on as part of a wave of people that hit the floor. But even towards the end of the show we saw that they were enforcing this rule. That's so so stupid. I understand the rationale in theory but outside the floor, the only place to stand (other than in the balcony) was in the doorways, which is obviously just as much if not more of a fire hazard as too many people on the floor. I was hoping that maybe they wanted to keep the space open for Kevin Barnes to trot his horse around but then the horse never showed up. They better not do this shit every show (the venue, not Of Montreal)... Not like I have any shows planned there.

Enough about the venue though. Bottom line to take away from this: if you still have a chance to see Of Montreal on this tour, GO NOW. Even if you hated the last album (I happened to like it though)... But try to see it in a 21 and over venue because there were way too many 12 year olds here.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: BABY ________

2008-11-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

Some random baby goodness for you...

BABY OCTOPUS

BABY KOALA---- Oh damn that's incredibly huggum.

BABY GIRAFFE--- Still taller than me

BABY ORANGUTAN - I just love orangutans. They're so very playful... And this is stunning. The bath part is simply perfect.

I'm gonna stick with orangutans for our last clip. This is an older orangutan (not old man orangutan, just older than the last one) which gets us away from the baby topic but I think it's important because Jen doesn't understand how cute orangutans are. I mean, they like to play more than any other animal I think... Just watch

Yes please, buy me two!

UPDATE... I just received this

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEBRASKA

2008-11-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

Nebraska was shaping up to be another "cheat" state like Iowa. There was nothing I wanted to see there, so I merely made sure my route from South Dakota to Wyoming included a little Nebraska run (you can see this represented by the black line in the NW corner of the map below). Then, a month later, as I was preparing to head back east, I saw a report about the BIND-TORTURE-KILL Killer being back on the loose in Kansas. This prompted me to rethink my route (remember Kansas is also the place where I stayed at a Day's Inn that had blood on the shower curtain). I sadly had to give up going to White Sands National Monument, but in its place we went to a few Utah parks that I hadn't been to... Most importantly, the new route took me straight Nebraska!

Beyond that there's almost nothing to say. I stayed in Lincoln. It was cooler than you might imagine. I immediately found a splendid record store that had some Neil Young bootlegs... For dinner I went to some place in what appeared to be a "hip" section of town but the night was extremely foggy so that may've positively affected the vibe I got.

Damn... this one's short. What can I say? Nebraska is landlocked. It produced Bright Eyes. Just imagine Conor's ear-drum shattering whine and you'll get a sense of just how fun it must be to grow up in Nebraska. If that's your thing, you'll love it. Western Nebraska has some picturesque rolling hills but it's mostly flat... Ooh my, Nebraska's tourism desk will definitely be knocking down my door.

Sorry. I just have nothing more to add to the discussion.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: READY SET...

2008-11-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

... Current news stories about "Pink Piglets"

Eh, nothing in a couple weeks. Nov 6, a pig in Gloucester gave birth to "seven adorable pink piglets." Don't believe me? Look:

... Current news stories about "dreidels"

Ah! The SFBG has a step-by-step guide for making edible dreidels. Amazing.

"STEP-BY-STEP

Determined to make something, but don't know how? For Jews and Judeophiles, try making an incredible edible dreidel. All you need are Hershey's chocolate kisses, marshmallows, thin pretzel sticks, and peanut butter.

Step 1: Spread a generous amount of peanut butter on the end of a marshmallow. This peanut butter will act as a glue for the next step.

Step 2: Unwrap a kiss and attach it to the peanut butter–glazed side of the marshmallow. This will create the bottom of the dreidel — the part that allows it to spin.

Step 3: On the side of the marshmallow that has thus far remained untouched, take a pretzel stick and press it into the center ... "

That sounds positively delicious... and easy to make!

...Current news stories about "ink poisoning"

Hmm...not much. Nothing worth reporting... What about "arsenic poisoning"? Oh this is awful. Millions of people in Bangladesh are slowly being poisoned by naturally ocurring arsenic in rural wells.

Let's get happier.

... Current news stories about "brand new zoo"

Not much. I was hoping to find 10 articles about new zoos opening in the world. But nothing. I love zoos. Not the depressing zoos with suicidal tigers but the zoos that help endangered animals thrive in natural-like habitats.

Go Pandas!

MUSIC MONDAYS: NEW THOUGHTS ON EVIL URGES

2008-11-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

As I prepare for my jaw-dropping best-of-the-year mix, I've begun listening to all albums in contention for a spot on the mix. In some cases my favorite albums have held up well months later. But in the case of The Ruby Suns' album from this year, I decided I'd rather have the $4.00 Amoeba credit than have the album take up space on my shelf. It's not a bad album at all. Pretty good actually. But I don't need to own it.

That brings me to the new My Morning Jacket album. I'm a huge MMJ fan. Most people first started hearing them on a national scale after their "break through" Z. I got into them on "It Still Moves" and promptly bought all the earlier albums. Although I think Z may be their most complete album it was also my least favorite of theirs. You know that whole "it's best but I don't love it" argument. Now the new one "Evil Urges" is a different beast altogether. I hadn't listen to it since it first came out and hearing it again after all these months, I'm convinced of one thing: ADULT CONTEMPORARY. Now I don't mean that in a bad way exactly. I'm as big a fan of catchy MOR music as any soccer mom. But when your first album sounds like a buncha guys fucking around on acoustic guitars at 3AM drunk off Bourbon in a Kentucky barn, it's a bit unsettling to hear an album full of songs that you may hear at the gas station or in your local Rite Aid... Speaking of which, I actually HAVE heard "Thank You Too!" at my supermarket.

I find it all extremely pleasant, but for the sake of their artistic careers, I hope they don't come out with another album for 10 years. Because the next one will probably do worse than rip off Green Day melodies (as in Urges' "Two Halves"). The fact is, the elevator-leanings of some of this album are damn great compared to miscalculated genre-exercises like "Highly Suspicious." Hey I love Prince-aping. After all, Ween's one of my favorite groups ever. But this song is just bad. It's the sort of tune that would be a splendid little B-Side or live excursion but as Song 3? Oooh. Bad choice. MMJ have never been a great album band though, so I guess they're forgiven. "It Still Moves" would've been an absolute masterpiece as a 45 minute album but at 71 minutes, it more than overstays its welcome.

It may not seem like it from this post, but I still haven't thrown Evil Urges off my best of the year list. When it's good, it's great. The last third is mostly all stellar. "Remnants," "Smokin from Shootin," Touch Me I'm Going to Scream pt 1 and 2" are unabashedly solid tunes. Plus I really enjoy the MOR songs for their catchy melodies and smooth FM Gold sounds. So who knows if you'll see an Evil Urges track on your mix this year. I'm viewing it now as the alternate to the basketball team. If the starters are having a solid blow-out kind of game, maybe there will be enough time to give MMJ the benefit of the doubt.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: NO WHITE HOUSE AIDING FOR ALEX

2008-11-13T18:25:00.000-08:00

Damn damn damn. I was so excited to join Obama's staff but I'll never pass the test! How nice, you don't have to submit traffic tickets that were less than $50. In LA how many traffic tickets can you get that are less $50? I came to a rolling stop at a stop sign and a cop pulled me over and said next time it would be a $300 ticket! That's outrageous. I think I would've gotten the message with $100... What if they stopped fining people but instead went in to your house with an appraiser and took something of value. Obviously that has the potential to be way worse, so to even the playing field a $300 fine would be something like $50 in value... Or maybe the appraiser can take into account emotional worth as well. "That item cost 10 dollars but it came from his son who was just killed last year in a hunting accident." That may make the item worth $1000.

Back to Obama's questionnaire for a moment. They want to see all e-mail or blog entries or facebook pages that can embarrass the president. Are you allowed like 1 or 2 slip-ups? Or are you allowed to say lots of horrible things as long as you sign a letter of release saying that Obama does not and will never ever support your position on "rodent rights" or "Prince Albert" piercing conventions.

Let's just move on.

I noticed today that there are some trees in LA that changed color. Not many but just a few had red and orange leaves! Definitely not "Autumn" but compared to those 800 ft tall palm trees, it's a welcome change.

Okay time to go play softball.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MONTANA

2008-11-12T17:36:00.001-08:00

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten out of the "M's," Montana takes me by surprise. I always thought Montana looked like a gigantic bathtub. One of those baths with feet. I forget what they're called. Feeted Tub? Tub O Pedis? Makes you feel clean in Montana too. Fresh air in the big sky! Oh yes, Montana's a fine fine state. It almost went to Obama too!

I've actually seen a rather small portion of Montana but from everything I hear, I saw the most attractive section, namely "Glacier National Park." Oooohweee this place is breathtaking. The drive through the park is long and slow and traverses thousands of feet but it's about as spectacular a drive as you'll ever experience. You see it all up close, climbing between mountains in your car. Glaciers obviously, but also waterfalls, streams, cliffs, lakes, bears, mountain goats, snow. It's a unique park in that it teams up with Waterton Park in Alberta, Canada to form an "International Peace Park." I saw tons of baby bears at Waterton, but not even a single baby at Glacier. Looks like Canada gets the better deal. The ranger in Canada warned us about the bears and said that lots of parents put honey on their kids' hands so the bears will come and play... Clearly someone forgot to tell them that wild bears are much less Winnie the Pooh and way more Dracula. Would you lure a Pit Bull over by putting honey on your child's hand? Well a wild bear is much more dangerous than a pit bull. Consider that...

... But we're not even talking about Montana at this point. Back to the American side of the park. I stayed at a lodge that looked a hell of a lot like the Overlook from The Shining. We moved rooms for some reason or another. Probably because of a ghost. Or maybe it was construction. One or the other, I forget. The hotel overlooked (no pun intended) a deep blue lake, forests, snow covered peaks and much more. Despite being terrified during the night, the setting had me in awe during the day.

The only other part of Montana I visited was Missoula. It seemed like a decent college town. I went to a pretty solid record store. I'm sure they voted blue here. It's that eastern, flat and barren Montana you have to watch out for. They hunt them some children over in those parts.

You know, I still haven't seen a Montana plate in my current incarnation of the license plate game... And speaking of travel in Montana, that rumor that used to float around about how Montana has no speed limit is most certainly NOT TRUE. Sure, the limit was still like 75 MPH, which is Road Runner speed compared to the East Coast but it's still a limit. Unless all the speed signs I saw were just show for the tourists so we feel more at home... Quite possible indeed.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: SHARED OFFICE, OBAMA and ERACISM

2008-11-11T18:05:00.001-08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... My boss just said that starting in January I will have to share an office with him for six weeks because editors need to set up shop in my office. That's horrifying. I wasn't even planning on being at this company after December. But then the stock market tanked. Now I may as well stay. It's not like I can even resort to eating rats since LA is pretty rat-free. Maybe I can eat coyotes... But sharing an office with him? Oh that's terrible.

Let's get to the topic of the day. Now that Obama has won, I don't have much to do to distract me. I still check the various blogs but it's just not that exciting reading about Bush hosting the Obamas. And when I read the more conservative blogs, I just get mad about them talking shit about Obama before he's even been sworn in.

Will I be the sort of blind Obama supporter that worships my president? Probably not. But here's what I'm wondering... It's illegal to threaten to kill the president. But racist cops threaten Black men all the time. So who wins? Racism or the president? Let's run with this for a second. Now that a Black man (but wait... Obama's mom is white! Hey... check this out if you still need a WHY....ONE DROP RULE) will be president, what can we expect to change, if anything race-wise? Of course racism won't go away. If anything people will use Obama as an excuse to be more racist. Like a white real estate agent not showing a Black couple a house and then responding to the racism charge with "but our President's Black. The US isn't racist!"

But let's focus on what Alex wants to see change in terms of race relations.

-National coverage for every missing Black child or Black pregnant woman even if they aren't related to an Oscar winning actress. (Or conversely no more coverage for the Laci Peterson's of the world).

-Black actors other than Denzel, T. Howard, D. Cheadle, or Tyler Perry getting roles written for them.

-More interracial bands like Sly and the Family Stone

-More Black hockey players, more European baseball players, more Asian football players, more Dwarf basketball players (oh man... do they have dwarf leagues with no one over 5 foot allowed. That would be amazing).

-No more non-violent drug offenders in prison

Oh that's good for now I guess.

MUSIC MONDAYS: BRILLIANT IDEA ALERT

2008-11-10T18:26:00.001-08:00

So it's official. No Top 10 list this year. No way. First, it's too hard to rank albums, let alone pick a certain number. Second, unless you're Pitchfork, no one is going to read your list and then buy the albums. We're busy! That said, I can't go another year without letting the world know my opinion. So this year I'm going to go through all my favorite albums of the years and pick a song from each and compile a mix for your downloading pleasure. That way everyone wins. Plus, you get to see my mix-making skills. All quality reasons... But that's not for a couple weeks.

Other music items of note:

*The new releases have mostly dried up. I don't think I have anything on my upcoming purchase list other than live albums, remasters, box sets, etc.

*As far as sensitive, overly earnest music goes, Cat Stevens is up there. I just purchased the Deluxe Editions of his two "classic" albums TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN and TEASER AND THE FIRECAT. Both are great. Really natural, detailed remastering for the most part. A couple songs seem to have been remastered by a different person because they're a bit flat. Lots of demos and live versions of songs too. My new favorite Cat Stevens song is "Hard-Headed Woman." Damn his facial expressions are EMO

*"Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables" is a really great name for an album. Even if you don't like the Dead Kennedy's or punk.

*I really think it's about time for the French Horn to make a comeback. It's a great looking instrument.

*Here's my current Bob Dylan obsession. Don't mind the odd visuals.

And here's Nico's more famous version

And how about Marianne Faithfull's while we're at it (which sounds a lot more like Dylan's)

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: NOW THAT'S HUGGUM

2008-11-07T16:52:00.000-08:00

I want a doggie! Hearing Barack talk with such seriousness about the first dog (not to mention Bush's dog biting a reporter) has made really want a dog again. Jen isn't a big fan of this idea. She wants a dog at some point but says "maybe I should start with a plant." That's hilarious. Jen hates plants too. How odd is that? That's like people I've met who "hate water."

There are several dogs that I think would make great pets. You need to find a perfect balance between cuteness, obedience, shedding and practicality. My latest obsession is the dachshund. I never really thought much about them until we got a little stuff dachshund named Oscar.

If you don't think they're cute, just check this out... And he has a facebook page too!! Hugs will have to be his friend

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

2008-11-06T18:08:00.000-08:00

I was going to spend this whole post bitching about my Republican co-worker and the outrageous things I overheard her say yesterday but I don't condone such widespread gossip. However, I'm fine with one-on-one gossip if anyone wants to ask me what I heard the next time they see me.

In keeping with the original nature of Thoughtful Thursdays, I will list a handful of things that drive me utterly bonkers.

1. THE PHONES RINGING IN MY OFFICE- For some reason we don't have individual phone lines. Just a main number. That would be fine if we had a receptionist... but we don't. Three days a week an intern answers most of the phones but other than that we're all on "phone duty." To make it more annoying we now have a doorbell that rings everyone's phone so guests can be admitted. That sound makes me foam at the mouth.

2. SLOW WALKERS- In the grocery store, on the sidewalk, wherever. Unless you're old or disabled, you don't have a good excuse. If you want to walk slow, just walk in the street.

3. THAT FEELING YOU FEEL WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF ON A WEEK DAY. THAT FEELING THAT SAYS "OH I DON'T WANT TO GET UP BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I'M GOING TO SAVOR MY SLEEP THIS WEEKEND." BUT THEN WHEN THE WEEKEND COMES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CAPTURE THAT SATISFACTION... ESPECIALLY SINCE I USED TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PLEASURE ON SNOW DAYS. BUT NOW I LIVE IN LA, WHERE IT NEVER SNOW

4. TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I'm sure anything would satisfy me, but nothing sounds quite worthy ofi breaking the pain.

5. PEOPLE WHO THINK RACISM IS GONE NOW THAT OBAMA HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT (See number 10 as well).

6. HOUSES THAT SMELL LIKE DOG (see number 9 as well).

7. REALIZING THAT POTS AND PANS THAT I NEED TO COOK DINNER ARE DIRTY

8. MY INABILITY TO PLANT A MONEY TREE THAT ACTUALLY SPROUTS MONEY

9. DOGS THAT BARK FOR NO REASON (I swear I like dogs. A lot. Just not fucked up annoying dog).

10.WHITE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE "RACE CARD." Come on, seriously come on. If you don't like the race card, you should invent a time machine so you can go back and tell your ancestors (or if you're not 20th generation American, your friends' ancestors) not to invent thousands of cramped RACE SLAVE SHIPS full of people that they've enslaved and given a "race" to in the first place. Maybe you just didn't get the job cause there was some food stuck in your teeth.

On that especially Jack Cafferty-esque note, I will leave you to ponder your own pet peeves? Perhaps "sunrises" or "yellow cars" or "The Mad Monk." Whatever... Oh and one more pet peeve

11. PEOPLE NOT LEAVING COMMENTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION ANYMORE

Seriously folks. I have no problem making up states for future Wagonwheel Wednesdays.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSOURI

2008-11-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

And we're back with a Black President Elect in tow. Oh hell yes. No thanks to this "bell weather" state. It was very close but apparently the "show-me state" had more people who thought that lying, cheating, two-faced McCain was putting forth the goods. 6,000 or less people on the other hand went with Obama, knowing full well that the only thing McCain showed throughout this campaign was his hand, as it turned out was nothing more than a pair of 7's at best.

Enough about politics... actually first let me go..... OBAMA WINS!!!! HELL FUCKING YES YES YES YES.... As you may have noticed, there was no Topical Tuesday yesterday. I thought the day spoke for itself. So I posted nothing.

Now, no more about politics for today.

Other than too many Repubs, what does Missouri have to offer? There's the fine city of St. Louis, known for its Cardinals and Nelly. And that arch too. You know that thing is fucking huge? Way bigger in person than I ever imagined. You can actually take a ride inside the arch to the top. Too expensive for me to try but I love that that's even possible. My friend visited St. Louis once and he must've been really really high because he kept telling me how great the "archeS" were. Beyond the arch, St. Louis seemed a bit drab... Sorry Dan.

Missouri's other major city "Kansas City" is a massive shit hole. It's only redeeming value is that it has some really unbelievable barbecue. Oh my. Kansas City barbecue is THE SHIT. Maybe the best region for it in the country. My North Carolina friends would disagree and that's fine. But really, NC BBQ and KC BBQ are so so different that you can enjoy both without having to get all boasty about one or the other. Man I miss real barbecue. We never had it in Philly but I got spoiled by my travels around the country.

Other than BBQ, Kansas City is depressing and dangerous. The Royals are perhaps the shittiest franchise in sports. Not historically but in recent memory, pretty much constantly losing since 1995. The Chiefs are awful this year too. And you know what else sucks about KC? The city is named for a different state (which is also unfortunate for Kansas City, Kansas since they have the namesake but none of the shitty sports teams or the glory... actually, maybe it's better to be Kansas City, Kansas).

Kansas City is also notable as the place where I got off the train after learning that my dad had torn his kneecap from his knee.

The rest of Missouri is somewhat scenic, with rolling hills and farms. It's a pretty varied state, part Southern (they have some THICK accent in Joplin, MO) and part Midwestern. I even visited an impressive cave near Springfield, Missouri.

It's got a pretty great shape too.

MUSIC MONDAYS: A SAD NOTE

2008-11-03T17:45:00.000-08:00

I was all prepared to talk about music today, this being Music Mondays and all. I was going to tell you about how I'm about to start going over all the album's of the year to determine my ten favorite. But then someone in my office told me that one of the agents we work with just found her assistant dead. I'd talked to this assistant before to set up meeting and the like. Not sure how old he was but it was most likely 20-something. I don't have any details but I'm too shook up to write a regular old Music Monday.

As a paranoid hypochondriac, who's also a very empathetic person, I internalize this sort of stuff in a major way. I always need the details. I'm reassured if I find out that the person in question had an existing condition, which is a natural way to think perhaps but still terrible all the same. Tragic news like this puts things like the election or my team winning the World Series into perspective. I think not only of my own fragile existence but all my loved ones and anyone who cares about another person.

Not that the people reading this blog knows this guy, but if nonetheless, I want to say, Daniel Abrams Rest In Peace... It seems odd to offer a peaceful afterlife to someone who I know so little about. I just read over an e-mail correspondence confirming a meeting my boss had with his boss' client and I realized that that's the only tangible relationship I have to this guy. We've spoken on the phone but I can't remember the sound of his voice. We never had business drinks or anything like that. I'm not sure if he was lean or large, bald or hairy, beautiful or plain. But does that matter? To the Abrams family, whom I know even less, and to all the assistants and agents I actually do know at APA, my thoughts go out to you.

Sorry for the bleak nature of my post. I needed to get it down.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT FRIENDLY FRIDAY?

2008-10-30T18:08:00.001-07:00

Here's a thought...

It feels like Friday. I keep having to remind myself it's Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. Halloween is tomorrow and I'm nearly ready. I still have to get a cane, white gloves and some gold facepaint. Mr. Peanut here I come! Tonight I need to have Jen draw the peanut ridges on my shirt and make the little white hat band that reads "Mr. Peanut."

Oh my, I'm hungry. I had an early lunch, which is always tough for me. My stomach usually only stays full for 2-3 hours. Good thing I have a fast metabolism. If I didn't, they'd have to use a crane to get me to work every day. Can you imagine if you had to travel to work by crane? That would be equal parts cool and embarassing. Costly too I imagine.

Here's another thought.... The Phillies won! If you know me, you'll probably hear me mention this fact for the next several months. Get used to it.

Tonight is October 30th (aka "Mischief Night"... or is that an East Coast-only thing?). I was supposed to be preparing to see Neil Young but then he decided to cancel because some of the workers at The Forum are on strike and he doesn't want to break the picket line. This is bullshit for so many reasons. I respect Neil's principles here but apparently these guys have been on strike on and off for two years! Why would you book this show at The Forum!? Since I ordered through this special pre-order site (not Ticketmaster) I have to mail my ticket back to get a refund. I could always keep the ticket and go to the rescheduled show but since there's no date for the show, just "sometime in 2009," I think I'll have to vote with my pocketbook on this one and return the ticket. After all, I just pre-ordered his stupid archives on Blu-Ray for 300, even though they'll still probably never come out... I could use a $100 refund.

Damn, Neil. The economy sucks! Why are you putting me on the street?

THE PHUCKING PHIGHTING PHILLIES HAVE JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-29T19:14:00.001-07:00

I'm too drunk with excitement to write Wagonwheel today. This is fucking unreal. I'm still expecting another game.

WE WON

WE WON

WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

2008-10-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

What's another few days after waiting my whole life, right? My baseball hating girlfriend thinks that baseball players are "wimps" for not playing in the rain. That's the current situation in the World Series, where the clinching Game 5 was put on suspension after the rain got a bit out of hand. Now they're tentatively set to resume the final 3.5 innings tomorrow night.

BULLSHIT!

They should've called this game long before the Rays tied it at 2-2 in the top of the sixth. Jen may think that not playing in the rain is reflective of how un-manly baseball players are, but that's obviously insane. The outfield has a great draining system so rain doesn't matter that much. But if you add a shit load of water to dirt it becomes mud. There were puddle on the field! Puddles. That's neither safe nor fair.

Anyway... here's the biggest problem. I was emotionally ready to win last night. I was in the mindset for celebration. I'm sure I'll get pumped up again but it suddenly feels out of reach. The intoxicating euphoria of the moment made me actually think that the Phillies could win The World Series. Now I've returned from this delusional land of prophetic trumpets and I'm reminded that in the past 25 years Philadelphia sports teams (in the major 4 sports) are 0 for 7 in Championship Series'.

Let me get a bit more specific, because I know you care SO much.

Since May 31, 1983

HOCKEY: Flyers are 0 for 3 in the Stanley Cup Finals (85,87,97)

FOOTBALL: Eagles are 0 for 1 in the Superbowl (that miserable 2005 loss to the Patriots... We kept it close but that's worth little once McNabb started puking).

BASKETBALL: The last team to win a championship! When I was 19 months old! In 2001 the Sixers made it back to the finals and lost to the Lakers.

BASEBALL: The Phillies were the first team to lose during the "Curse" era, losing the World Series to the Baltimore Orioles in Oct of 1983. They would go on to lose in 1993 as well on Joe Carter's demoralizing homerun off Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams.

So there you have it... Not much reason to believe... Prove me wrong fate.

MUSIC MONDAYS: OH ELTON

2008-10-27T16:56:00.001-07:00

I finally got the chance to see Elton John live. Some of you out there may laugh at Elton and I'll concede that he's a bit outrageous and does have some terrible songs. But he also has a good five or six classic or near-classic albums. This was the Vegas Red Piano show so it was a bit of a different experience. I knew David LaChapelle directed it but I had no idea that it would be just as much his show as Elton's. Outrageous is an understatement. I expected some cursing, maybe some nudity in the videos and what not. But an inflatable pair of titties that shot out stringy milk from the nipples? And phalli aplenty! Bananas and the like.

Elton sounded great as well. Usually you expect performers' voices to degrade into "death rattles" as they get older. Elton's voice actually did degrade considerably in the 80s due to growths on his vocal chords. But the surgery must've been successful because he boomed out the hits! And I must say, for a show that was pretty much all hits, he chose wisely. The highlight? Either a very extended Rocket Man (complete with outtakes from the video where Justin Timberlake plays Elton) or a heart-wrenching "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." SSMT was accompanied by one of the odder videos I've ever seen. It started with a guy playing a younger Elton, sticking his head in an oven. As Elton "dies," his spirit leaves his body and starts dancing with this creepy naked woman with a blonde fro and ice skating with a bear. At one point the creepy woman has a fire-cracker/sparkling thingy sticking out of her special region. I'm a pretty literary guy, but I'm not quite sure what to take from this one.

Now, I have to cut this short... The Phillies are on... Up in the World Series 3-1

WILL THIS BE THE DAY?

I haven't seen a Philly team win a chamionship ever. The Sixers won in 1983, but I was 1.5...

Oh my. I'm nervous.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: FRUIT BRUTE

2008-10-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

I've become obsessed with Fruit Brute. Who? Fruit Brute! Don't feel bad, I hadn't heard of him either. Surely you know Count Chocula. Well Fruit Brute was his cousin. Sort of. He was one of the other General Mills "Monster Themed Cereals." This motley crew of monsters was made up of the delicious chocolatey Count Chocula, the Strawberry pop of Frankenberry, the cool blueberry delight of Boo Berry and what I can only imagine as the tastebud explosion of Fruit Brute. They stopped making Fruit Brute in 1983 but I can't figure out why. If you look up the monster cereals on Wikipedia you'll learn that the initial batch of Frankenberry contained a dye that didn't break down in the body leading to what some dubbed "Frankenberry Stool." But yet they won't say who killed Fruit Brute. I suspect a silver bullet since that's really the only way werewolves die. Maybe it was a silver banana.

Now here's where the story gets a bit interesting. In 1988 they resurrected the Fruity Monster serial but this time handed it over to a new character named Fruity Yummy Mummy! Now come on. How can you kill off such an adorably wild mascot and replace him with a Mummy? Couldn't they have kept Fruit Brute and just had Frosted Yummy Mummy or Peanut Buttery Mummy? I actually remember Fruity Mummy well. I had thought the cereal was only my imagination, but apparently not. I guess the Fruity thing didn't sell because they discontinued The FY Mummy in the mid-1990's.

I think Fruit Brute should return. He's my new favorite advertising character. In other character news, I'm going to be Mr. Peanut for Halloween!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: THE UGLIEST FIELD

2008-10-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

My thought of the day is that the Tampa Bay Rays (nee Devil Rays) play in the worst stadium in the major leagues. I know a thing or too about shitty stadiums, having endured twenty-something years of the now demolished concrete donut of Philly, The Vet. This Rays place is truly awful though. Probably the only good thing about it is that it's named "Tropicana Field" and Tropicana orange juice is pretty tasty.

So what makes it so bad? For one it's a dome. Domes usually suck. Retractable domes are fine because they can still grow real grass, but an all-year dome has about as much personality as a Lunchables pizza. Sure no rain delays, no wind, no cold. Great. Give me an American cheese and white bread sandwich while you're at it.

Let's take a little virtual tour.

Here's the outside

And the field, which looks a bit like a giant miniature golf hole.

Inside rotunda... at least they remind you of the delicious Florida OJ.

The outfield has a tank of sting rays for kids to pet, so I guess that's pretty cool too.

And a close-up of the dome

See all those catwalks up there? Well they're all in play! If it hits in homerun territory, it's a homerun, and if it hits the catwalk in foul territory, it's a foul ball. But I'm pretty sure that if it bounces back into the field, it's a playable ball. Absurd.

Tampa Bay (which isn't even a city.. it's a body of water) congrats, you have the worst stadium in sports... Oh, and go Phils! (Not that my team allegiance has anything to do with my opinion

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSISSIPPI

2008-10-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

What's got four eyes but can't see? If you answered a blind quad-clops, you're wrong. The answer is of course Mississippi.

Three cheers for the Deep South! Here's another state I mostly drove the hell through because of my Southern prejudices. I got out of the car once, at a mall in Meridian, Mississippi. Eerily, three days later a disgruntled worker at some business establishment in Meridian shot up the entire office floor, killing six. Good thing it wasn't a McDonald's worker at the mall or I might've been shot.

I can't say much about the cities or scenic drives of Mississippi since I remained on the highway the whole time. The state has no mountains that I can rave about, no geothermic fields or canyons. Not really much that's noticeable from the road. I saw some pleasant trees.

Perhaps what I remember most about Mississippi is that the Meridian mall had ATMs from my mother's bank (which will remain nameless to protect her identity and the bank's identity). Seems innocent, right? Well this bank has no actual locations in Mississippi. So when the screen comes up that says "Unless you are a ___ Bank customer, you must pay a $2.00 fee," you almost definitely have to pay the fee. This may be okay in Bel-Air, but last time I checked, Mississippi was the poorest state in the country. Fortunately, the bank no longer has their ATMs in this mall. Not sure if they realized the oppressive nature of their ways or just found that it was no longer profitable.

So there's the four I's for you.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BREAK FROM POLITICS

2008-10-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be really bored at work when this election is over. But right now I need a break from politics. So how about I play anchor for a minute and report you the news.

In keeping with the regular evening news format, let me tell you about some LA Crime that happened in the last week near where I live and work.

A couple blocks from my house there was a mugging. It's not in an area I'd regularly walk though. There were also some aggravated assaults, but again not in the areas where I walk after dark.

Near my office... Wow, there was a rape. Oh my. That could've been a date rape. Not that that makes it any better... Wow that's really scary. Just a few blocks away, on Masselin, a street where Jen and I used to park all the time when she lived over there (and also where someone broken into my car and stole my navigation system). Horrifying... There was a mugging around there too... Damn, no where's safe in LA.

Speaking of which, let's see what crime has gone down in Beverly Hills. Hmm, let's see, nothing. What about some other exclusive LA areas? Hancock Park? Again, not much dangerous... So pretty much any area that looks like a suburb is mostly okay, but any area that looks like your typical city, even a slight bit, has the possibility of danger.

Fascinating.

Let's round up a few other LA neighborhoods, since I know my readers come from far and wide.

Compton: Nothing apparently. That seems a bit odd. Even Beverly Hills had a couple "thefts from vehicle." Not saying that Compton is more dangerous than Beverly Hills... Oh wait, it says "outside jurisdiction."

Watts: We have a homicide. In all my months of looking at crime maps, I haven't seen too many yellow dots. It's always sad. That's an actual person who was murdered and here they just appear as a yellow dot. I hope they got the funeral they deserved... I'm officially creeped out now.

Westwood: Aggravated assault

Venice: Some muggings... And a rape. Shit. Bad.

Koreatown: Surprisingly not too much. We have an aggravated assault and a mugging. Not great but Koreatown is quite large and doesn't have the best reputation.

Echo Park: Again, another neighborhood with a bad reputation. But like Koreatown, crime's been minimal over the past week.

Downtown: Lots of aggravated assaults. This could be normal incidents, but let's not forget how many homeless people live in downtown LA. There's a possibility that some of them are beating on non-homeless people and on each other. But let's also not forget that homeless people aren't all that popular. It's possible that homed people are beating the homeless. No one deserves that.

I can't look at this anymore. It's making me miserable. Let's move on with our news report.

Weather: A bit brisk, but mostly okay. Probably smog.

Sports: Phillies are in the world series!

And that concludes our Tuesday news.

MUSIC MONDAYS: RANDOM ROUND-UP

2008-10-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

-Amoeba once gave good money for CDs. Now they're just like any other used store. 3 or 4 bucks a disc, tops. I've all but given up taking music I want to sell there now that I've discovered the joys of selling on Amazon marketplace. But in recent weeks, I've had very few bites on my Amazon items. Probably because no one has 401k $ to fall back on anymore. Most of the items I have for sale would be considered "rare" albums. Do you think if I brought them to Amoeba with a preface like "these are rare and out-of-print. Please give me a good deal" it would help? Doubtful.

-Good news. The Zeppelin mini LP box set I pre-ordered is indeed the Japanese set, not some American reproduction. What this means is that it'll be great. Whenever the Americans try to do Mini LPs, they tend to fuck something up. Plus, whereas the original Japanese set retailed at about 300, this one is a mere 180. Still a lot of money, sure. But it's 12 discs, complete replicas with all the bonus goodies that came with the original releases. Overall not a terrible deal... Now I have to sell the two Zeppelin mini LPs I already have (see the first item on this post). In other Zeppelin news, Robert Plant is considering NOT going on tour with Zeppelin. Apparently Jack White may replace him. Interesting. I hope he brings Alicia Keys along.

-I need to get something to play my iPhone in the car. Anyone know anything good? I don't have a tape deck, so I can't use one of those handy converters. I'd have to do the radio transmitter option. Usually they all suck but perhaps someone knows of a good one. My pal Byron has a great one but it doesn't really work for the new iPhones, just the old ones.

-I have two extra Elton John tickets for this weekend in Vegas. Let me know if you're interested.

-Sometimes I crave the culinary equivalent of musical numbers. Like mmm wouldn't you just love to eat "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Tainted Love"?

-In honor of Bob Dylan's fantastic Bootleg Series Volume 8, I will begin listening to the entire bootleg series starting with volume 1 tonight. I currently don't have Volume 6 but I ordered it from Amazon for half off. It should be here by the time I reach it in my listening progression.

-When I write songs I find myself coming up with great verses but then mediocre choruses. Do any of my blog readers out there have a knack for a catchy hook? If so, maybe we can team up and change the face of music.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: PHILLIES MAKE THE WORLD SERIES!!!!

2008-10-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

In honor of the Phillies dissection of the Dodgers and first World Series berth in 15 years, I am offering a Phillies-centric thought.

Once upon a time, in the land of South Philadelphia, a strange green bird/reptile/goofball creature named the Phillie Phanatic was born. He's the sort of mascot that one loves to hate. I remember thinking at one point in my life in the middle of a baseball game "this guy's lame," until he had me cracking up doing a priceless (and somewhat crude) dance with the 2nd base umpire to Alicia Keys' "Falling."

If you have no idea who this crazy guy is, check out what he does to the cotton candy boy!

A mascot Hall-of-Famer in fact... But what if the Phanatic one day, God forbid, died. Who would replace him? I think any creature or animal would be unfairly compared to the Phanatic but what about a human mascot? The Brewers have Bernie the Brewer and the Mets have Mr. Met. Why can's the Philadelphia Phils have... Phil Collins!? He could have a portable plush drumset sidekick.

Or perhaps they can resurrect Ireland's heavy soul metal king Phil Lynott from the dead.

What about Phil Donahue? You could make a pretty squeshie huggable version of Donahue.

What other worthy "Phils" could be the Phillies new mascot in the event that the Phanatic moves on to mascot heaven?

How about John Phil-ip Sousa?

Now that would be classy.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MINNESTOA

2008-10-15T17:13:00.001-07:00

What do Prince, Bob Dylan and Target have in common? Minnesota obviously. Fine state, really. Maybe not in the winter. Sure, I've never actually been in the cold months, but judging by the indoor walkways that connect nearly all the buildings of downtown Minneapolis, it can't be fun.

Most of my Minnesota adventures have been relegated to the cities. I started in Duluth, home to the country's largest inland port. The aforementioned Mr. Dylan grew up near here. I didn't do much in Duluth, honestly. My hotel had a revolving restaurant. I tried to eat to there since I've always been intrigued by spinning eateries but I felt pretty damn sick immediately, so I got the food to go. Didn't do much else in Duluth. I went to a depressing casino, but that's about all. My Duluthian friend Kristen assures me that it's a wonderful place, but I remain skeptical.

Minneapolis on the other hand was a very welcome surprise. It's a pretty Cosmopolitan place overall. Some solid music stores and great scenery to boot. On the food front it's a bit suspect. I give them credit for at least having lots of ethnic food. But the problem is they need more ethnic people. I know Minneapolis has some diversity but not too many Asians judging by the Thai and Japanese food I ate. At the Thai place, the white waiter asked me how much MSG I wanted on my food. Then at this sushi joint I had something called a 7-spice Dragon Roll, which was really just a Dragon Roll with Old Bay seasoning poured on top of it. Yum!

Let's be more positive. Minneapolis has a great sculpture garden that features a gigantic spoon with a cherry on it. The garden also had a 9-hole mini golf course, with each hole designed by a different artist. The course was closed the day I was there but I got to at least see it and imagine what it would be like to play. Don't underestimate imagination!

The other twin city, St. Paul is pretty shit though. There's really next to nothing there other than a statehouse. It's a sizable city in its own right but it has very little to do.

Minnesota also boasts the thrilling Mall-Of-America. As someone who grew up with one of the nation's largest malls (King of Prussia), I can say with authority that the MOA is a beast. Much has been made about the Amusement Park inside the mall, but equally impressive is the full aquarium. Then there's tons of other fun around the mall. It truly is an Americana treasure.

I'd like to go back to Minnesota one day to check out Voyageurs National Park and a few of the 10,000 lakes (Actually I saw some lakes in Minneapolis. They have some great parks built around a couple of the lakes).

Now if everyone can get out their Prince tambourines and sing along with me... Purple Rain, Purple Raiiiiin!

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: JOHN MCCAIN and SADAM HUSSEIN SHARE A SOUL

2008-10-14T17:32:00.000-07:00

Fine that's a bit of a stretch, but apparently McCain's transition chief aided Sadam. This seems like it should be a bomb shell for someone whose only real hope at this point is the capture of Osama (please notice the S there... OSama not OBama." Yet, I'm not particularly excited by this potential nail in the coffin, mainly because Huffington Post has about as much credibility as Rush Limbaugh at this point. Sure, I read it every day. I even link to it here (along with conservative Drudge Report for comparison). It's entertaining and occasionally it'll break a real story. But until I see this "news" on CNN or USA TODAY or gasp FOX NEWS, I won't think much of it.

Currently none of the above mention the story.

Some more exciting campaign news for you:

Obama's buying ads in video games!

And how about a presidential "crop circle"?

Finally, I just realized that I'll be seeing TV On the Radio two days after the first African-American major party candidate is either elected president or robbed of the presidency (for those that don't follow music, that's a band). Pretty interesting considering they're a band that's 80% Black. And it's not like they shy away from racial commentary. After all, just look at their lyrics, which include lines like "Woke up in a magic ni**er movie with the bright lights pointed at me as a metaphor" and "'Hey Slave' They called and we caved, we answered to a new name. Shout it loud shout it lame, but black face it you're such a good dancer." I can't think of a more perfect band to see two days after this election.

MUSIC MONDAYS: TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME

2008-10-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Last evening I sat in Dodgers stadium, watching the Phillies lose to the Dodgers. At some point they sang the old hit "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"(perhaps the 7th inning stretch, but I think they only sing "God Bless America" now... or maybe they sing both in the bottom of the 7th). As I listened to the lyrics and all the dumb Dodgers fans sang "Root root root for the Dodgers" I thought how lame it was that everyone changed the lyrics of the song to say their team instead of the generic "home team." Then I thought about it and started to wonder whether or not I got the whole song wrong along. Maybe the lyrics were never "Root root root for the home team" but rather "Root root root for the [home team]" or Root root root for the ________" if you like it written that way better.

According to the lovable community Encyclopedia authors at Wikipedia, the lyrics are "root, root, root for the home team." I guess fans decided saying "Dodgers" or "Giants" or whatever would show more spirit.

What else about this legendary song may you not know?

Well there are two versions: one from 1908 and one from 1927. They both have the same famous lyrics, but their verses are different. Of course we never sing the verses anymore, so for our purposes they're virtually the same. Just in case you care, here are the original lyrics:

1908 Version

Katie Casey was baseball mad,
Had the fever and had it bad.
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev'ry sou
Katie blew.
On a Saturday her young beau
Called to see if she'd like to go
To see a show, but Miss Kate said "No,
I'll tell you what you can do:"

Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.

Katie Casey saw all the games,
Knew the players by their first names.
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Katie Casey knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:

Chorus

1927 Version

Nelly Kelly loved baseball games,
Knew the players, knew all their names.
You could see her there ev'ry day,
Shout "Hurray"
When they'd play.
Her boyfriend by the name of Joe
Said, "To Coney Isle, dear, let's go",
Then Nelly started to fret and pout,
And to him, I heard her shout:
[Chorus]

Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.

Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:

Chorus

It's safe to say that my girlfriend Jen Murse isn't like Katie or Nelly. She's no baseball fiend. In fact, she's not even baseball impartial bystander. She hates baseball. She hates it so much that I can't say anything about baseball without her rolling her eyes. I can't say "look at this team's logo." Nope. She may like the logo but as soon as I tell her it's a baseball team, she dismisses it immediately. Oh well. As Sarah Palin says "We agree to disagree on that one" I think that someone else may've invented the phrase, but she's gotta be the one who popularized it.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: EATING SEA MAMMALS

2008-10-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

"Would I eat a sea mammal?"

I never really thought about this until my friend Peter brought it up. He said he'd never eat a sea mammal. No whales or dolphins because they're too smart and no sea lions, seals or otters cause they're too cute. These are fair points, although I'm not so sure sea lions are really that cute. They're fine but they smell terrible, which makes them a little less cute. Like there were some girls in middle school that kinda dug me and they looked pretty nice but they smelled bad. Odor can makes things a little less than cute at the end of the day.

I'm trying to think if I've ever eaten a sea mammal. I told Peter that I'd had whale before, but how is that possible? Could I really have gotten a whale steak at my local supermarket? Because that's what my whale eating memory is. I remember as a little boy getting a whale filet and eating it with butter. But whales are so protected. Well, now they are. This was the 80s. Reagan was not a big fan of whales...But now that I think of it, it may've been shark. I may be confusing whale with whaler sandwiches (just a fish sandwich they served in the cafeteria). Or maybe I had whale at school. Now I'm really confused.

It's been so long since I've done a Friendly Friday, that I have very little to say. How about I end it with a friendly little link (please ignore the "oh my gods" if you can)?

Wagonwheel Wednesdays: Michigan

2008-10-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

I've always loved to look at Michigan on a map. All those lakes! The two peninsulas! It's really not that exciting in person. I didn't visit Detroit because I've never heard one person in my life tell me "Don't miss Detroit!" I stayed in Saginaw and bought a little walrus from the gift shop (his name is Donut if you want me to say hello to him for you). After Saginaw, I continued to the upper peninsula. This bit was actually pretty great. The bridge connecting the two is quite long and when you get to the other side you feel wonderfully isolated (more on that later).

I went on a little hike somewhere or other in Michigan. Not sure which peninsula it was. The person I was with got bit by some bug though. Days later we had to go to a hospital because her neck had quadrupled in size.

Am I not selling Michigan to you? That's fair. There's nothing to sell. It's a sad place. I can't even say "well at least the (whatever type of food) is good." Nope. I liked the lakes. They're large and in charge. Again, the peninsula bridge is fabulous. The sensation that I was on an island the whole time I was in the upper peninsula even though it's really a peninsula was oddly unsettling, despite what I said earlier about it being "wonderfully isolated."

I stayed in Marquette, which is the biggest upper peninsula city. It had some sort of offbeat quasi-vintage hippie shops. My vegan friend found real animal-less food. That was a welcome surprise given how rural it is up there. Would I ever return? Doubtful. Very depressing place. Just listen to Sufjan's album about Michigan. Way more than I could tell you.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: LIVE DEBATE BLOGGING

2008-10-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

Live debate blogging!!

7:07PT One more thing... McCain says that peacemaking requires a "cool hand." Like the cool hand that suspended his campaign and called his wife a cunt in front of his aides? Okay Cool Hand McCain. Okay.

7:06PT Okay, I don't feel like doing this anymore... As I watch these debates I read CNN and New York Times' live blogging. I'm always annoyed that they don't say enough. They only update the thing every twenty minutes or something. Now I understand. Commenting on everything is a pain.

7:01PT A lot of the people in the crowd look like they want to attack the candidates.

6:55PT McCain tried to make a joke about him losing hair. No one seemed to laugh.

6:45PT Yes McCain just proposed flying cars... Actually he didn't.

6:41PT "I saw it done," says McCain. "Back in the days of George Washington."

6:33PT Discussion time. This is absurd. Brokaw asks at 15 second question and then asks the candidates to only talk for a minute? That's a 4:1 answer to question ratio. That's awful.

6:32PT Obama's talking about us sacrificing energy production in our homes. This is definitely more specific than McCain's answer.

6:28PT Brokaw joking about the candidates talking too much again

6:24PT McCain's talking a lot about his bipartisan record. Does anyone care about how he rejected his party ten years ago? When's he dissed his own party recently?

6:21PT McCain's sort of just repeating what Obama says on some of these answers... He's trying to show his record as reformer... Now he's calling Obama the most liberal senator... blah blah... oh enough.

6:15PT Ooh Obama's getting negative first.

6:12PT McCain just told an independent Black man that he probably hadn't heard of Freddy and Fannie Mac before the crisis. Asshole.

6:11PT Oh man, Brokaw just got a bit testy telling candidates to stick to the rules.

6:06PT McCain tells Obama "it's good to be with you at a town hall meeting" Yuck. Remember he wants a million town hall debates... McCain knows how to get the economy going but he doesn't tell us.

6:05PT Obama's laying out the steps for economy... He sounds good! Oh yes he does.

6:03PT Obama always wins the coin toss.

6:03PT Are they sitting at grade school desks!? Not quite. Looked like it for a minute.

6:03PT And here come the candidates... McCain is moving slowly of course.

6:01 1/2PT And here comes Tom Brokaw!

6:01PT Wolf Blitzer says 6 million questions came in. That means one question for every Jew who died in the Holocaust. I wonder if it's a coincidence.

6:00PT And here we go! The debate is supposed to start now

5:48PT They're showing the stage. Oh yes, the candidates are very very close to the people. This means that someone can possibly be spit on by accident. Maybe that'll decide these undecided voters.

5:40PT Wow interesting... Suzanne Malveaux is talking about the limits of how much emotion and humor Obama can show with respects to coming off as an "angry Black man" or a "clown."

5:37 PT Watching CNN's panel. Don't know if they're best political team, since they say what everyone else says but I find the whole package entertaining. Campbell Brown has been pretty good recently in her commentaries. She also has a very thin nose.

MAINSTREAM MUSIC MONDAYS: BEST AND WORST

2008-10-06T16:44:00.001-07:00

I used to be one of those guys who stopped liking a band the minute the band became popular. The twisted thing is that I really wanted the small indie bands I loved to get major MTV recognition. But then if they did, I usually stopped liking them. Damned if you do, right?

Now I've gotten a point where I can ignore all the terrible habits of mainstream music- the windchimes and auto-tune vocals and all that. I can never enjoy modern pop music on the same level that I enjoy more "pure" back-to-the-basics contemporary music or on the level I enjoy classic pop music, but I have at least developed X-Ray ears that can hear through the fluff prepared for mass consumption.

It is what that framework that I present to you the best and worst current mainstream pop singles.

BEST MPS (Mainstream Pop Single)

Ne-Yo- Closer

I gotta say, his whole "Year of the Gentleman" album is pretty phenomenal in all its M. Jackson aping glory. Sure it's schmaltzy at times but Mr. Yo has a way with melody. Plus, you have to give him credit for writing all his own songs. "Closer" is a great club jam that'll stay in your head all day. Ne-Yo came into my office once a year ago or so and he's quite a nice man. According to his Wikipedia page, he's half Chinese. Doesn't really look it. But then again there's also plenty of rumors about Ne-Yo being gay. Who really cares about either. Let the man be gay and half-Chinese, I say.

Check out the video

WORST MPS SINGLE

Kid Rock- All Summer Long

This song is huuuuuuuuuuuge. Really gigantic. The biggest Kid Rock single of all time. In fact, it's been number one in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Ireland, UK, Holland, and Australia. It's also charted on Billboard's Rock, Pop, Adult Contemporary and Country Charts. So the song must be great, right? Oh hell no. It's really terrible. It's just fine as background music or the soundtrack to some car commercial, but is it worthy of taking over the world? The riff isn't even his own. But enough of my opinion. You be the judge.

I guess the Dutch like to cruise around in speed boats, or at least enjoy the glorious American summers vicariously.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: WAGONWHEELS FELL OFF

2008-10-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, I lost the wagon wheels yesterday. It was my birthday and I was scrambling to get a scavenger hunt together and next thing I knew, I couldn't find my wagon's wheels. It's hard to talk about states when you're running without shoes... Catch my drift?

Today's thought is that in honor of a question on last night's hunt list, I'll let folks ponder some license plates. These are all the rare plates I listed last night. On the east coast, some of these would be pretty easy to find but in California, they're a bit more rare. So rare in fact that amongst five teams, not one person saw any of these plates. People looked hard too. Parking lot after parking lot after parking lot no one saw any of the following: Washington D.C., Rhode Island, Delaware, Guam, Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Alaska. In my time out here I've definitely seen DC (I showed up to town with a DC plate), R.I., Hawaii and Alaska. Don't think I've seen Delaware out here. Definitely haven't seen Guam out here. And I don't think I've ever seen Puerto Rico anywhere.

Interestingly although not one car in my building had any of these plates, I did see a Maybach in my building. I wonder if someone was renting it or if there's really someone who lives in my building driving a Maybach around town. Or perhaps a chauffeur lives in my building. Who knows. I should look into this. A car that costs at least $344,000 is something you don't see every day, even in Hollywood.

But now onto the plates

WASHINGTON D.C

I saw this plate all the time because I lived in DC. Plus, for about a year, I had a DC plate on my car.

RHODE ISLAND

Another plate I saw a ton, mostly when I lived in Rhode Island for 4 years. I never changed the plate on my car while living there, but usually when you're in a state you see the state's plate a bunch. Even in tiny Rhode Island.

DELAWARE

I grew up in Philly, which is about 25 minutes from Delaware, so I saw this one a bunch. It's probably the country's worst plate.

HAWAII

Several year back I began a round of the lovable "license plate" game. Hawaii was the very last plate I saw. I saw it in Louisiana of all places. The guy driving the car was going about 120 on a 70 MPH road.

ALASKA

I've seen this one a few times in a bunch of odd places. I think it's probably more common than Hawaii. Driving through British Columbia to get down here is a trek, but driving across an ocean is even more difficult.

GUAM

I didn't even realize they had cars in Guam. That's dumb of me. Guam is a real place, with roads and traffic lights and even stop signs I bet! Imagine that. I actually saw a Guam plate in a Wal-Mart parking lot in central Pennsylvania. This was near the tale end of the aforementioned license plate game (a game that lasted a good four months or so). At the time I only needed South Dakota and Hawaii. Guam wasn't even on my list. But there it was in Pennsylvania. That's even more water to drive across than Hawaii. Turns out I saw the South Dakota plate in the same lot.

PUERTO RICO

Never seen any of these.

Here's the greatest license plate website ever by the way: PLATES

I think I'm going to start playing this game again but to make it more exciting, I will only count a plate if I take a picture of it with my iPhone. Then, once I complete the game, I will have 50 state plus (plus any Mexican, Canadian or territory plates) I on my iPhone. That'll be pretty fucking great... Game begins now... I'll keep you updated...

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: HAPPY ROSH HASHANAH

2008-09-30T21:34:00.001-07:00

I spent my day praying at the very comedy club that Michael Richards had his infamous moment. My Rabbi struggled through the Torah portion and accidentally started doing a service for next week's holiday. But hey, at least I tried.

In honor of the Jewish New Year, I will address the validity of a few stereotypes about my people. I won't discuss whether or not we have horns (we do) or whether we used to make matzoh out of the blood of Christian babies (we preferred brains). We'll going to deal with some more pressing matters.

ALL JEWS ARE CHEAP

I'm sure you know the joke. "Curb" made a great reference to it last season. "Wanna see a bunch of Jews stampede all over the place? Throw a penny." Now here's the deal. We're not cheap. Some of us are. But most Jews I know that actually have money give a hell a lot of it away to charities. Now many of these charities are Jewish oriented but not all. I for one am very conscious of this stereotype. If I'm with a bunch of non-Jews, I may pay an extra couple dollars.

Really this stereotype comes from jealousy. Jews came to this country despised and broke and while we still are despised, we have a good amount of money, influence and power proportionally. This isn't pro-Jewishness, it's just true. Not because we're schemers, but because our specific type of oppression, mixed with our specific type of communal and religious values produced a breeding ground for success. So certain people that see this, get jealous and say we're cheap. Not true.

Take me for instance. I waste tons of money on useless things but I'm not a good example. Not spending lots of money on dumb shit doesn't mean you're cheap. Listen up, Johnny. Just cause your Jewish father won't buy you a 42 inch 1080 LCD for President's Day doesn't mean he's cheap.

ALL JEWS ARE SMART

I know some terribly dumb Jews. Jews that spell "truck" without the "c." But truth be told, we've won a lot of Nobel Prizes. Does that mean we're smarter or are just good at cheating the system? I think it's more the former, but maybe I'm biased. No, I'm kidding. It's probably a mix of both... Oh I don't know...I'm smart. I'll tell you that. Maybe because I'm Jewish. Probably just cause my parents are smart.

JEWS AREN'T CAPABLE OF EVIL

Person B kills 6 Million of Person A's family members. Does this mean that every relative of Person A and Person A's family will now be immune from despicable acts? Oh hell no. Perhaps the most infamous evil Jew is the Son of Sam. Many in the Jewish community tried to say that because SoS was adopted, he can't really be considered a Jew. The argument states that although Jews raised SOS, the Jews that raised him didn't pass any of their pure DNA to him. Well, fuck that logic. Not only is it completely holier-than-thou bullshit, but David Berkowitz's birth parents were Jewish too. Jews are capable of good, evil, anything. Note to fellow Jews: if you don't want people saying things like "Jews are cheap" or "Jews are filthy" then don't say " Jews aren't capable of evil."

ALL JEWS LOOK LIKE WOODY ALLEN

I may look like Woody Allen but that doesn't mean that all Jews look like Woody Allen. Although Eastern European Jews (aka Ashkenazi Jews... oh wait hold up, Ashkenazi has "nazi" in it? Damn, that's ironic....) have a lot of the power and visibility around the world, that doesn't mean we're the only Jews out there. There are Spanish Jews, Iraqi Jews, Black Jews, Indian Jews. We come in more flavors than lifesavers.

Okay, that's good for now. Please go call up your closest Jewish friend and wish him or her "shana tova." That means Good New Year in Hebrew.

A picture of me:

MUSIC MONDAYS: 5 LONGEST...

2008-09-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

...songs in my iTunes at work. I can't speak for the songs at home because I'm not at home. It's also worth noting that I have songs on a hard drive that are mentioned in my iTunes at work that aren't on this computer. I am counting these songs in our tally even though when I click on them that little exclamation mark pops up... Also, we're only counting actual songs here. I have some "songs" in my iTunes which are really just full albums that haven't been split it up by track.

So let's get on with it. Top 5 longest from shortest of the longest to the longest of the longest

5. Miles Davis: The Ghetto Walk

A funky little number from Miles' "In a Silent Way" sessions. A bit of a pimp soundtrack. The sorta thing that could probably make McCain strut with soul. A great precursor to...

4. Miles Davis: Bitches Brew

And here we have the title track off the Miles album that came after "In a Silent Way." If you don't know about this album, you clearly know nothing about jazz (although purists wouldn't consider this song or album Jazz per se... The critics hate this album, piss on this album, stopped listening to music after this album!). It's considered the first bona fide "fusion" album. While "In a Silent Way" has its fusion moments, it's also quite rooted in Jazz compared to this one. Anyway, I own the complete 4-disc sessions for both these albums. They're beyond essential.

Time of Ghetto Walk: 26:50
Time of Bitches Brew: 27:01

3. Pharoah Sanders: The Creator Has A Master Plan

The centerpiece (and one of only two songs) from avant-garde Jazz saxophonist Sanders' "Karma" album. This one has it all: great melody, noise, sleigh bells. It gets a bit inaccessible at times in the middle, but taken as a whole, it's an impressive compositional achievement.

Time: 32:47

2. Charles Mingus: Blue for Roy's Saw (live)

I have no idea what this is. Charles Mingus (for the unfortunately uninitiated, possibly the greatest Jazz bassist ever, definitely one of the best Jazz songwriters/composers ever) rules and clearly this is a live version of a Mingus tune but if you asked me to hum it for you right now, I couldn't. That said, I'm sure it's great because Mingus is great. End of story.

Time: 33:11

1. Unknown Artist: Track 1

This could be anything at all. It must be a track from my hard drive because the exclamation point pops up. I'm sure it's a thriller.

Time: 52:41

So what have we learned? We've learned that Jazz legends like to play for awhile, a very very long while. Especially in the late 60s and 70s. I can tell you without a doubt that if I did this same list on my iTunes at home, it would be mostly late 60/early 70s Jazz/Fusion. In fact, when I get home, I'll post an update with my home iTunes 5 longest songs. We'll see who's right here.

Friendly Fridays: Some Baby Pictures

2008-09-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

We all know what a puppy looks like, what a cub looks like, what a human baby looks like. And yes, all these mainstream babies are cute, very cute (although we've all seen some hideous babies). But I want us to think out of the baby box for a minute. Outside the crib if you will. Using my buddy google, I'm going to show you some baby pictures of animals you probably haven't considered much in infantile form.

Baby Emu

Baby Iguana

Baby Bonobo

Baby Shrimp

Baby Porcupine

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

2008-09-25T15:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever given a word serious thought to the point where it becomes meaningless? Let me get a little linguistic for a second. A word is really just a symbol, right? Right. Yes, right. I'm telling you that's right... It's an auditory symbol. Or rather what it describes is a symbol and the word is how we actualize that symbol. It's like a deer X-ing sign. That symbol sends of a signal so that every time we walk down the street and see a man or woman dressed in blue, with a badge and a certain type of hat, we think cop, po-po, 5-0, pig, whatever your group of people calls police. So although language is a complex system and all, at its core, it's a bunch of one time arbitrary letter combinations used to describe things. Well, let me tell you folks, it can still be that and nothing more. Take any word you want. "Wolf" for instance. That's a good one. Just say it over and over and over again.

Wolf.... Wolf... Wolf... Wolf.... Eventually (and by eventually I mean anywhere from a minute to a few hours...gotta be persistent here, people) "wolf" will begin to sound bizarre, independent of its symbol and eventually devoid of all context.

Now that's some thoughtful shit.

... Okay now that you've finished that exercise, let me give you a few of my famous tongue twisters

1. Pedantic podiatrists peddle pathetic petals

2. Supine supers sip soup with supplicant suits

3. Grouchy grover grows gouty ground gowns

Next up... some word jumbles!

1. rsureesp

2. ppissiiissm

3. oasdneriu

Enough word fun. Get back to work!

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: Massachusetts

2008-09-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

Massachusetts is a bitch to spell, so I'm just gonna refer to it as M during this post. I've spent quite a lot of time in M, so I can make this post very long. I probably won't though. Sometimes I think I have a ton to say about a topic and then the whole thing caps out at around two paragraphs. Luckily that didn't happen on my GRE's, where I stunned everybody by getting a 6 out of 6 on the writing section. I'll accept your congratulatory prizes at anytime.

Now that I've adequately adopted the elite tone of a M liberal, let me begin. M is a large state with a few different distinct regions. I spent several summers in the Berkshire mountains at a little camp called Lenox. This is back when I loved to play sports. I still enjoy sports, as evident by my participation in a softball league. But by now I've accepted that I'm not the best athlete ever. I like my role as the X factor just fine: the guy that everyone doubts who can sometimes produce quite well. That's swell. Back then though I really wanted to be great. I had this idea that I was a fabulous hockey player. In fact, I was mediocre at best. Same went for basketball. It was always quite a shock to my system when I didn't get the respect I deserved on the court. I remember making the B team for this one tournament. I cried and cried because I thought I should make the A team. I cried so much so that they made me a starter on the B team. Of course they took me out after two minutes and didn't put me back in the whole game. By now, I've mostly gotten over the hurt.

This has nothing to do with M really. Just wanted to tell you a bit about my camp life. I could dedicate a whole entry to that miserable place. I had some good times for sure, but as I look back, it was mostly awful.... Now let's go on to the state itself. I've been to Boston many times because it was close to Providence (where I went to school) and before that because I had some friends and family in the area. Here's what I can say about Boston: beautiful city, mostly awful people. There are tons of colleges, so drunkards are everywhere. Plus, they had this massive infamous reconstruction project called "The Big Dig" where they rerouted a bunch of highways and bridges to make the city more friendly to pedestrians and drivers alike. Only problem is the thing took FOREVER to complete. In the process, the dig released rats everywhere. Plus Boston's a horribly racist, segregated place. And it's cold. Oh and I hate the Celtics. It does have some good record stores though.

Beyond Boston there's Springfield, MA, home of the NBA Hall-of-Fame. Also of note is Worcester, New England's third biggest city... Oh wait, now Wikipedia is telling me a recent census has it as New England's second biggest city, meaning it's now bigger than Providence... Damn. When I went to school, I was pretty proud of the fact that Providence was number two. Oh well. All I can remember about Worcester is that the local concert venue was hosting Insane Clown Posse the night I was there. Looked like they had a pretty huge turnout.

Other areas of note that I've been to include Fall River (home of ax-murderer Lizzie Borden), Amherst (home Amherst College and Umass) and the absolutely lovely island of Martha's Vineyard. MV is known as a rich person's playground. While that's certainly a fair assessment, it's also a pretty diverse place. It has a sizable Black population that goes back hundreds of years. It also has some of the best seafood on the planet. Oh the grilled swordfish caught fresh each day still makes me tingle all over. Plus, great biking, beautiful bluffs, a wonderful old time carousel complete with gold ring. It a fine fine island. I must return soon. My parents go all the time, but now that I'm on the other coast, it's not so easy to get there. One day soon I hope. Perhaps next summer even.

And there you have it. I guess this turned out to be pretty long after all. I've seen many parts of M as you can see (hmm maybe I should've said MA since that is a legitimate abbreviation). Overall, despite the harsh winters and lame Bostonites, I consider Massachusetts a Top 25 state. Beyond that, I'm not sure. Definitely not Top 10. Maybe Top 15. I'll let you know when Wagonwheel's done and I rank all the states. Until then, look at all the places I've been!

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: LOU DOBBS IS ON TV

2008-09-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

Lou Dobbs looks like a very mean man.

I think I'd much rather have a drink with Bill O'Reilly than Dobbs. It's more than not agreeing with Lou's crusade against immigrants. That would be a fair gripe. But I'm more superficial than that. I don't like his face. I don't like the way he pretends to smile. He's never happy. Never. But he'll do a robotic laugh to try to show Wolf and Larry and the rest of the CNN gang that he can have fun too. But you know what? It's not convincing.

I first noticed Lou last year. Has he been around for awhile? Or did they just find him beating a Mexican to death and decide to put him on the air instead of in jail? Let me look it up... Oh wow, he's been at CNN since 1980. Why have I just noticed him now? Let's see... Moneyline. Yes, that's right, I remember that show. Was he such a damn pest then too?

Most people are shocked to learn that Lou Dobbs' wife is Mexican and that he has four half-Mexican kids with her. I want to sit down with the kids and ask them a thing or two. Has daddy ever hugged you? Has daddy ever dressed up as Santa? Has daddy ever done anything to suggest that he isn't just an uglier, angrier, nastier, more miserly Oscar the Grouch?

.. Oh he's smiling now. But smiling in a way that says "suck it, I know you want to suck it." How does his wife live with him? She must be a self-hater like Noam Chomsky.

Still don't know who Lou Dobbs is? Here's a good intro... So Lou, what do you really want to say there at the end?

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: THE LETTER Q

2008-09-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

How much do you know about the letter Q? Not much? Me neither.

I know it has a nearly monogamous relationship with U... but from time to time its eye will wander and you'll end up with a word like Qindarka. I know that there aren't tons of American names that begin with Q and that there are no states that begin with Q. But what are some of the more arcane mysteries of Q?

Wikipedia to the rescue... Here are some of the highlights:

*Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet... Well, you could've figured that out but I bet you didn't know off the top of your head

*Q was invented in 200 AD at the request of Noah's great-great-great-great-great grandson. Actually that's a complete and utter lie. Sorry.

*In Fijian, Q represents the pre-nasalized voiced velar plosive... Uh-huh.

*In Unicode the capital Q is codepoint U+0051 and the lower case q is U+0071.

Perhaps Q's greatest claim to fame is everyone's favorite game "Q&A." For those who haven't played, "Q&A" is a game with a single speaker on one team and a whole crowd of people on the other team. The crowd is responsible for the "Q" (which is said to stand for "Question) and the speaker is responsible for the "A" (answer). It's quite a match of wits, let me tell you.

Another place where the Q turns up is in the always helpful "FAQ" section of a website or publication. In this case the Q is frequently asked. You may wonder who does the frequent asking. No one actually. The author of the FAQ presumes the question's frequency most of the time. Having constructed many a FAQ in my day, I can say that the questions you put in the FAQ are mainly the ones you're sick of answering. Sometimes you're sick of them because people ask you three times a day, but other times perhaps only two or three people have ever asked you, yet the answer is just so damn annoying to recite again and again, that you put it up on the FAQ. Technically this is a MIQ (most infuriating question).

No more revelatory thoughts on Q at the moment. Next week we shall return with the letter X.

Wagonwheel Wednesdays: Maryland

2008-09-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

Bah I say. Maryland is such a bah state. I spent a good year and a half working in Maryland in the DC suburb of Silver Spring. It's a perfectly fine place, similar to other Maryland DC suburbs like Bethesda. You've got lots of chain restaurants and little personality. There are a handful of delicious eateries that aren't franchises, such as Mrs. K's toll house (home of the best brunch in the country perhaps), but overall it's a fairly bland place.

Then there's Baltimore. All you need to know about Baltimore you can get from watching The Wire. Actually, not everything. The aquarium there is really wonderful. Probably the best I've been to. And the crab cakes. Oh shit, the crab cakes are absurdly delicious. You don't get that from The Wire. But the corruption, violence, and poverty that permeates much of this city of 600,000 is all detailed with artistic flare on HBO's sadly retired epic novel of a show. Although you may not believe it, not all of Baltimore is shady. There are a few nice blocks.

I used to think the inner harbor was a lovely romantic place. That is until my friend from Baltimore told me about the washed up cadavers they always find. Needless to say, you can imagine my outrage when someone once told me Philly looked like Baltimore. To be fair Philly has its grimy parts, but the proportions are far less the B'more. That's all gonna change though! Now that Michael Phelps has won 8 gold medals, The Baltimore Bullet is single handedly revitalizing the city with his spoils. What a champion.

What else has Maryland got to offer? I'll tell you what. The closest Waffle House to Philly! At 2AM, it takes about 45 minutes to get there. Not that bad when you have a craving for the most scrumptious utter crap ever made. I remember when I made my whole health-crazed family eat at Waffle House. They were miserable. My dad secretly liked it because he actually likes good food, my mom complained about the "greasiest grilled cheese" she ever had for hours and my sister refused to eat anything. Sigh. There are things worth eating other than multigrain bread!

You know what else is great about Maryland? Its shape. Certainly one of the most exciting shapes in state geometry. As you can probably infer from the more remote areas, Maryland has it's share of extremely country ass places. It's technically the South, which many people forget. Thus, there are still parts of Maryland (such as the little patch over the 18 mile Chesapeake bridge) where you can find your fair share of dirt roads and people you can't understand. HOW FUCKING ELITIST OF ME. I'm not saying the hillbillies aren't smart. I'm just saying some live off dirt roads and some are hard to understand when they speak. I don't see what's so elite about that...

... Fine, maybe it's a little elite.....

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: WHERE TO MOVE

2008-09-16T10:13:00.001-07:00

The common line amongst people my age is that if McCain wins, we're moving. Interestingly enough, whereas 2004 saw a bunch of promises about "moving to Canada," this cycle has folks talking about more distant locales. I've heard Argentina, England, and Africa. But why are we forgetting Canada?

It has to be Sarah Palin. The problem with most of Canada is that it's damn frigid in the Winter. So it's no wonder that the comparatively temperate Vancouver emerged as the city where many disillusioned ex-pats wanted to migrate to. But now we're not so naive. Look at a map. What separates Palin's Alaska from the US mainland? British Columbia. Where's Vancouver? British Columbia. Combine Hawkish McCain with Miss Alaska and you better believe British Columbia will become American Columbia by the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. That's why I'm thinking more along the lines of England. Costa Rica's pretty nice too. There are tons of Americans there. Parts of Mexico too.

Am I serious about leaving this country? I don't know. Probably not. Then again if I honestly believe Obama lost because there are tons of racist Americans, I may have to lead a mass exodus. My main drawback would be my family. Their main drawback would be their friends. I somehow doubt I can convince all my parents' friends to move to another country, but perhaps it's worth a shot. Please understand, that I really love a lot about America. I love the national parks and delicious pizza and American football and on and on. But the possibility of 16 years of Palin... It's beyond a bad Disney movie as Matt Damon suggested. If the first 8 years of Bush was the equivalent of the worst movie ever made and the sequel to the worst movie ever made, then The McCain/Sarah Palin Story is Rocky V. Do you really want to live in Rocky V?

Here's the thing. Let's consider pain for a moment. If you have a really awful sore throat, you probably have a keen appreciation for agony, disease, everything bad. Just as if you eat a raw piece of chicken and get salmonella, you have an appreciation for your digestive system. You may say to yourself "I'll never eat raw chicken again. I don't care how delicious it is, I can't put myself in this position." But then once the Salmonella gets better, you're right back to eating raw chicken. See I can understand if the country elects a Democrat and then in 4 years forgets the pain of a Republican and votes a Republican back into office. But we haven't even had a chance to forget the pain and Republicans are already on the brink of 4 more years. Back to our chicken analogy, it's like if right in the middle of the lowest point of your vomiting and abdominal cramps, you decide to eat more raw chicken. It's like picking yourself up from hours of misery and taking a shot of vodka, e.coli and salmonella to ease your suffering. Not sure who's the vodka but McCain's the salmonella (the old disease) and e.coli is Palin (the new bacteria in this cocktail that Americans are VOLUNTARILY drinking)...

I'm beside myself. Have you ever heard a common English person try to do an American accent? Usually they sound like rednecks. Well if this country votes McCain/Palin, I think I'll have to adopt that accent so I can remind myself at all times that I live in the world's stupidest land.

MUSIC MONDAYS: HAS ALEX STOPPED WITH CDs?

2008-09-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

This past week I purchased the new Calexico and Okkervil River albums. No big deal, right? Certainly not blog-worthy. Well not quite. After threatening to purchase new albums on vinyl only, I finally took my first step. Anyone who has ever listened to music with me knows I love old vinyl. I've even been known to buy new vinyl. But accepting the demise of the CD by NOT buying albums from iTunes, instead taking it back to the pre-cassette days, pre-8-track days and going exclusively vinyl? Now that's change I can believe in.

If you like your drums to sound like a three-year-old banging on pots and pans, then stick with digital files. But I like to hear the instruments damn it! Fortunately there are other people out there that realize that mp3s have this terrible tinny sound quality. So about two years ago, record labels started going for a best of both worlds approach. They began issuing new albums on vinyl that also included mp3 downloads. Now I can listen to my physical media at home and the mp3 at the gym. Only problem is that you can't hook an iPod up to my car. I have one of those on-the-cusp cars. They don't have a tape deck, so I can't use one of the tape/ipod adapters and they don't have an aux input either. It's a car in audio limbo.

Now I don't for one minute think that my CD buying has stopped. For starters, sometimes the vinyl version of the album doesn't come out for a few weeks. If it's an album I really want, I can't wait a couple weeks. Impatience is a vice, I know.

My only major gripe with vinyl is that it's extremely environmentally unfriendly. I usually don't drive during lunch though, so I figure my vinyl-induced carbon footprint is less a Bigfoot print and more of a chipmunk print. That's not so bad, right?