WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MONTANA

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten out of the "M's," Montana takes me by surprise. I always thought Montana looked like a gigantic bathtub. One of those baths with feet. I forget what they're called. Feeted Tub? Tub O Pedis? Makes you feel clean in Montana too. Fresh air in the big sky! Oh yes, Montana's a fine fine state. It almost went to Obama too!

I've actually seen a rather small portion of Montana but from everything I hear, I saw the most attractive section, namely "Glacier National Park." Oooohweee this place is breathtaking. The drive through the park is long and slow and traverses thousands of feet but it's about as spectacular a drive as you'll ever experience. You see it all up close, climbing between mountains in your car. Glaciers obviously, but also waterfalls, streams, cliffs, lakes, bears, mountain goats, snow. It's a unique park in that it teams up with Waterton Park in Alberta, Canada to form an "International Peace Park." I saw tons of baby bears at Waterton, but not even a single baby at Glacier. Looks like Canada gets the better deal. The ranger in Canada warned us about the bears and said that lots of parents put honey on their kids' hands so the bears will come and play... Clearly someone forgot to tell them that wild bears are much less Winnie the Pooh and way more Dracula. Would you lure a Pit Bull over by putting honey on your child's hand? Well a wild bear is much more dangerous than a pit bull. Consider that...

... But we're not even talking about Montana at this point. Back to the American side of the park. I stayed at a lodge that looked a hell of a lot like the Overlook from The Shining. We moved rooms for some reason or another. Probably because of a ghost. Or maybe it was construction. One or the other, I forget. The hotel overlooked (no pun intended) a deep blue lake, forests, snow covered peaks and much more. Despite being terrified during the night, the setting had me in awe during the day.

The only other part of Montana I visited was Missoula. It seemed like a decent college town. I went to a pretty solid record store. I'm sure they voted blue here. It's that eastern, flat and barren Montana you have to watch out for. They hunt them some children over in those parts.

You know, I still haven't seen a Montana plate in my current incarnation of the license plate game... And speaking of travel in Montana, that rumor that used to float around about how Montana has no speed limit is most certainly NOT TRUE. Sure, the limit was still like 75 MPH, which is Road Runner speed compared to the East Coast but it's still a limit. Unless all the speed signs I saw were just show for the tourists so we feel more at home... Quite possible indeed.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: SHARED OFFICE, OBAMA and ERACISM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... My boss just said that starting in January I will have to share an office with him for six weeks because editors need to set up shop in my office. That's horrifying. I wasn't even planning on being at this company after December. But then the stock market tanked. Now I may as well stay. It's not like I can even resort to eating rats since LA is pretty rat-free. Maybe I can eat coyotes... But sharing an office with him? Oh that's terrible.

Let's get to the topic of the day. Now that Obama has won, I don't have much to do to distract me. I still check the various blogs but it's just not that exciting reading about Bush hosting the Obamas. And when I read the more conservative blogs, I just get mad about them talking shit about Obama before he's even been sworn in.

Will I be the sort of blind Obama supporter that worships my president? Probably not. But here's what I'm wondering... It's illegal to threaten to kill the president. But racist cops threaten Black men all the time. So who wins? Racism or the president? Let's run with this for a second. Now that a Black man (but wait... Obama's mom is white! Hey... check this out if you still need a WHY....ONE DROP RULE) will be president, what can we expect to change, if anything race-wise? Of course racism won't go away. If anything people will use Obama as an excuse to be more racist. Like a white real estate agent not showing a Black couple a house and then responding to the racism charge with "but our President's Black. The US isn't racist!"

But let's focus on what Alex wants to see change in terms of race relations.

-National coverage for every missing Black child or Black pregnant woman even if they aren't related to an Oscar winning actress. (Or conversely no more coverage for the Laci Peterson's of the world).

-Black actors other than Denzel, T. Howard, D. Cheadle, or Tyler Perry getting roles written for them.

-More interracial bands like Sly and the Family Stone

-More Black hockey players, more European baseball players, more Asian football players, more Dwarf basketball players (oh man... do they have dwarf leagues with no one over 5 foot allowed. That would be amazing).

-No more non-violent drug offenders in prison

Oh that's good for now I guess.

MUSIC MONDAYS: BRILLIANT IDEA ALERT

So it's official. No Top 10 list this year. No way. First, it's too hard to rank albums, let alone pick a certain number. Second, unless you're Pitchfork, no one is going to read your list and then buy the albums. We're busy! That said, I can't go another year without letting the world know my opinion. So this year I'm going to go through all my favorite albums of the years and pick a song from each and compile a mix for your downloading pleasure. That way everyone wins. Plus, you get to see my mix-making skills. All quality reasons... But that's not for a couple weeks.

Other music items of note:

*The new releases have mostly dried up. I don't think I have anything on my upcoming purchase list other than live albums, remasters, box sets, etc.

*As far as sensitive, overly earnest music goes, Cat Stevens is up there. I just purchased the Deluxe Editions of his two "classic" albums TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN and TEASER AND THE FIRECAT. Both are great. Really natural, detailed remastering for the most part. A couple songs seem to have been remastered by a different person because they're a bit flat. Lots of demos and live versions of songs too. My new favorite Cat Stevens song is "Hard-Headed Woman." Damn his facial expressions are EMO



*"Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables" is a really great name for an album. Even if you don't like the Dead Kennedy's or punk.

*I really think it's about time for the French Horn to make a comeback. It's a great looking instrument.

*Here's my current Bob Dylan obsession. Don't mind the odd visuals.



And here's Nico's more famous version



And how about Marianne Faithfull's while we're at it (which sounds a lot more like Dylan's)

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: NOW THAT'S HUGGUM

I want a doggie! Hearing Barack talk with such seriousness about the first dog (not to mention Bush's dog biting a reporter) has made really want a dog again. Jen isn't a big fan of this idea. She wants a dog at some point but says "maybe I should start with a plant." That's hilarious. Jen hates plants too. How odd is that? That's like people I've met who "hate water."

There are several dogs that I think would make great pets. You need to find a perfect balance between cuteness, obedience, shedding and practicality. My latest obsession is the dachshund. I never really thought much about them until we got a little stuff dachshund named Oscar.

If you don't think they're cute, just check this out... And he has a facebook page too!! Hugs will have to be his friend

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

I was going to spend this whole post bitching about my Republican co-worker and the outrageous things I overheard her say yesterday but I don't condone such widespread gossip. However, I'm fine with one-on-one gossip if anyone wants to ask me what I heard the next time they see me.

In keeping with the original nature of Thoughtful Thursdays, I will list a handful of things that drive me utterly bonkers.

1. THE PHONES RINGING IN MY OFFICE- For some reason we don't have individual phone lines. Just a main number. That would be fine if we had a receptionist... but we don't. Three days a week an intern answers most of the phones but other than that we're all on "phone duty." To make it more annoying we now have a doorbell that rings everyone's phone so guests can be admitted. That sound makes me foam at the mouth.

2. SLOW WALKERS- In the grocery store, on the sidewalk, wherever. Unless you're old or disabled, you don't have a good excuse. If you want to walk slow, just walk in the street.

3. THAT FEELING YOU FEEL WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF ON A WEEK DAY. THAT FEELING THAT SAYS "OH I DON'T WANT TO GET UP BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I'M GOING TO SAVOR MY SLEEP THIS WEEKEND." BUT THEN WHEN THE WEEKEND COMES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CAPTURE THAT SATISFACTION... ESPECIALLY SINCE I USED TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PLEASURE ON SNOW DAYS. BUT NOW I LIVE IN LA, WHERE IT NEVER SNOW

4. TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I'm sure anything would satisfy me, but nothing sounds quite worthy ofi breaking the pain.

5. PEOPLE WHO THINK RACISM IS GONE NOW THAT OBAMA HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT (See number 10 as well).

6. HOUSES THAT SMELL LIKE DOG (see number 9 as well).

7. REALIZING THAT POTS AND PANS THAT I NEED TO COOK DINNER ARE DIRTY

8. MY INABILITY TO PLANT A MONEY TREE THAT ACTUALLY SPROUTS MONEY

9. DOGS THAT BARK FOR NO REASON (I swear I like dogs. A lot. Just not fucked up annoying dog).

10.WHITE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE "RACE CARD." Come on, seriously come on. If you don't like the race card, you should invent a time machine so you can go back and tell your ancestors (or if you're not 20th generation American, your friends' ancestors) not to invent thousands of cramped RACE SLAVE SHIPS full of people that they've enslaved and given a "race" to in the first place. Maybe you just didn't get the job cause there was some food stuck in your teeth.

On that especially Jack Cafferty-esque note, I will leave you to ponder your own pet peeves? Perhaps "sunrises" or "yellow cars" or "The Mad Monk." Whatever... Oh and one more pet peeve

11. PEOPLE NOT LEAVING COMMENTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION ANYMORE

Seriously folks. I have no problem making up states for future Wagonwheel Wednesdays.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSOURI

And we're back with a Black President Elect in tow. Oh hell yes. No thanks to this "bell weather" state. It was very close but apparently the "show-me state" had more people who thought that lying, cheating, two-faced McCain was putting forth the goods. 6,000 or less people on the other hand went with Obama, knowing full well that the only thing McCain showed throughout this campaign was his hand, as it turned out was nothing more than a pair of 7's at best.

Enough about politics... actually first let me go..... OBAMA WINS!!!! HELL FUCKING YES YES YES YES.... As you may have noticed, there was no Topical Tuesday yesterday. I thought the day spoke for itself. So I posted nothing.

Now, no more about politics for today.

Other than too many Repubs, what does Missouri have to offer? There's the fine city of St. Louis, known for its Cardinals and Nelly. And that arch too. You know that thing is fucking huge? Way bigger in person than I ever imagined. You can actually take a ride inside the arch to the top. Too expensive for me to try but I love that that's even possible. My friend visited St. Louis once and he must've been really really high because he kept telling me how great the "archeS" were. Beyond the arch, St. Louis seemed a bit drab... Sorry Dan.

Missouri's other major city "Kansas City" is a massive shit hole. It's only redeeming value is that it has some really unbelievable barbecue. Oh my. Kansas City barbecue is THE SHIT. Maybe the best region for it in the country. My North Carolina friends would disagree and that's fine. But really, NC BBQ and KC BBQ are so so different that you can enjoy both without having to get all boasty about one or the other. Man I miss real barbecue. We never had it in Philly but I got spoiled by my travels around the country.

Other than BBQ, Kansas City is depressing and dangerous. The Royals are perhaps the shittiest franchise in sports. Not historically but in recent memory, pretty much constantly losing since 1995. The Chiefs are awful this year too. And you know what else sucks about KC? The city is named for a different state (which is also unfortunate for Kansas City, Kansas since they have the namesake but none of the shitty sports teams or the glory... actually, maybe it's better to be Kansas City, Kansas).

Kansas City is also notable as the place where I got off the train after learning that my dad had torn his kneecap from his knee.

The rest of Missouri is somewhat scenic, with rolling hills and farms. It's a pretty varied state, part Southern (they have some THICK accent in Joplin, MO) and part Midwestern. I even visited an impressive cave near Springfield, Missouri.

It's got a pretty great shape too.

MUSIC MONDAYS: A SAD NOTE

I was all prepared to talk about music today, this being Music Mondays and all. I was going to tell you about how I'm about to start going over all the album's of the year to determine my ten favorite. But then someone in my office told me that one of the agents we work with just found her assistant dead. I'd talked to this assistant before to set up meeting and the like. Not sure how old he was but it was most likely 20-something. I don't have any details but I'm too shook up to write a regular old Music Monday.

As a paranoid hypochondriac, who's also a very empathetic person, I internalize this sort of stuff in a major way. I always need the details. I'm reassured if I find out that the person in question had an existing condition, which is a natural way to think perhaps but still terrible all the same. Tragic news like this puts things like the election or my team winning the World Series into perspective. I think not only of my own fragile existence but all my loved ones and anyone who cares about another person.

Not that the people reading this blog knows this guy, but if nonetheless, I want to say, Daniel Abrams Rest In Peace... It seems odd to offer a peaceful afterlife to someone who I know so little about. I just read over an e-mail correspondence confirming a meeting my boss had with his boss' client and I realized that that's the only tangible relationship I have to this guy. We've spoken on the phone but I can't remember the sound of his voice. We never had business drinks or anything like that. I'm not sure if he was lean or large, bald or hairy, beautiful or plain. But does that matter? To the Abrams family, whom I know even less, and to all the assistants and agents I actually do know at APA, my thoughts go out to you.

Sorry for the bleak nature of my post. I needed to get it down.