THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: GURGLE GROWGLE

No thoughts today. But FF tomorrow will be the cutest thing ever, so just wait...

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEVADA

And Wagonwheel has returned!

Today we're onto Nevada. Have I even really been to Nevada? I've been to Vegas five times I think, which is technically in Nevada but that's Vegas. I haven't seen anything north of there. My first time in Nevada I at least drove for a good hour before hitting Vegas. That was quite a night. I had just gotten a flat tire in Arizona, right on the bend of a 75 MPH interstate. You couldn't see me at all. I tried to pull up as much as I could. Of course I knew next to nothing about changing tires and my jack at the time was about as effective as a straw...and I was on an uneven gravel turn-off. I couldn't get anyone to stop and help me except a car of Mexican men who spoke no English and didn't seem to know much about changing tires either. After about two hours of cursing, kicking, praying and crying, I managed to change the tire. A few minutes later, I hit Nevada. That was my first experience. Driving on a donut at 3 in the morning.

I made it to Vegas though! That first time was pretty nuts seeing Vegas come out of nowhere. Man, I wasn't even really aware of "The Strip." I ended up there only after I went to "Downtown Vegas" and saw four casinos. That first Vegas adventure was fun mainly because I explored Vegas. I had my tire changed and I played mini golf and I went to a thrift store. It wasn't all partying.

Since then, I've at least made the trek to the monumental Hoover Dam a couple times, which is really quite a marvel. If you haven't been, it's worth driving 30 mins the next time you're in Vegas. But don't pay to get into the actual dam. For one Jackson and a Lincoln (or 25 Washingtons or a Hamilton, a Lincoln, a Jefferson and 8 Washingtons)you get a better view and probably can seem some more of the dam's inner workings but that's pricey as hell. $25 for what? At least I think it's just "for what." If anyone out there has gone to the dam, and has paid to go in and it's at least three times better than not paying, let me know.

I'd like to explore some more of Nevada. Reno sounds interesting. And Great Basin National Park looks rather thrilling. But there's just so many other places to see in this country. Not enough time! I need an Alex that works and an Alex that see National Parks. Oh and an Alex that sits at home watching TV and playing video games. So three Alex's. That doesn't seem too unrealistic.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CRIME and PUNISHMENT

With all the talk about crime and punishment these days, I started to think of forms that are now deemed inhumane. INHUMANE is a pretty odd word when applied to American C&P because as merciful as lethal injection is (and there's some debate on whether or not the injectee suffers), the US is the only Western Country that still has the death penalty to my knowldge. Now don't freak out at me for making this all political. This isn't a Pro or Anti Death Penalty post. Nonetheless, whether you think the death penalty is needed or not, most would admit that isn't exactly civilized. Important, necessary perhaps (although this isn't MY viewpoint) but not civilized. So if we make that concession, why are we pretending that we're doing an uncivilized act in a civil manner? How is death by hanging any less "cruel and unusual" than pumping poison into a man's veins? Plus, people who support the death penalty often support it because of the sweet justice it attempts to offer loved ones of victims. So shouldn't the murderers suffer? Again, this isn't my position, but I'm just trying to follow it logically.

This isn't only about the death penalty either. They no longer put people in the stocks and throw moldy tomatoes at them. They no longer let teachers hit kids with rulers.. Yet they do let football coaches work their team in 105 degree heat until the heftier folks suffer kidney failure.

If one "extinct punishment" could return, I'd love to see a resurgence in Firing Squad. It sounds awful. But it's just so shocking that it was ever allowed in our fine democracy that I think it should stay. Just for nostalgia. Stoning on the other hand goes a bit far. No burning. No drowning. No electric chair. Hanging is probably the cheapest. Well maybe firing squad is. I don't know. Actually the cheapest would be to abolish the death penalty instead of keeping people (often innocent people) waiting for 10,20,50 years. Okay, fine, this has turned into an anti-death penalty post. Here's what I say. Abolish the death penalty unless the loved ones need closure and vengeance. If they need closure, then turn the blind eye as they enact their revenge. Leave it on the field!

Ooh this is so very morbid... In case you're curious about states and the death penalty...

In the meantime, just make sure you don't commit crimes or put yourself in a position to be framed and you'll be fine.

MUSIC MONDAYS: PHILLY, ARCHIVES and XMAS

I was hoping to have my Best of the Year mix up for your downloading pleasure today, but I still have some finalizations to make. I discussed this mix with a man many know as "James" amongst other aliases. He predictably hates a lot of it. That's good. I know I'm on the right track then... But let's move onto things we can all agree about. The new Philly Soul box set "Love Train" is one for the ages. I swear I'm not just promoting this because I'm from Philly. I'll be the first to admit that "Love Train" is a terrible name for this retrospective. My complaints end there though. Unlike some past sets that omitted the contributions of Thom Bell (Delfonics, The Spinners) and instead focused on the brilliant career of Gamble and Huff, "Love Train" brings them all together, plus adds some third party 70's Philly gems like "Be Thankful For What You Got." Add a booklet of informative essays, interviews and photos and you've got the perfect holiday gift. Plus, Amazon has it for $30. That's $7.50 a disc! 71 Tracks in all. Come on now. Whatcha waiting for?

In other music news, Neil Young has delayed his archives again. After 20 years of waiting, what's another few months or years? But the timing comes a day after the release oh a 5 minute Archives preview and a day after a Neil-insider hosted a chat about how great they'll be. So whet the appetite but replace the steak with a brick. Yum. One day perhaps, one day. By then maybe I'll have money to actually afford it...

...And now to get relevant about the season, a word on Christmas music. I'm of mixed emotions when it comes to Christmas music. It's not because I'm Jewish and think Jesus shouldn't be celebrated. Never. I just don't like how every radio station is taken over! That said, I am a bit fan of melancholy renditions of the minor key carols. Actually, I love all Christmas songs if I'm on the East Coast, and it's snowing. Or maybe just in a city. Department store windows and all that. Ah, Christmas cheer. Hot Cocoa and snowmen. All the classics. You miss a ton of that in California. Palm trees and Christmas just don't work. Sigh, I miss snow.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: DID YOU KNOW

Here's a thought... Is Wagonwheel Wednesdays no more? Of course not. For whatever reason Wednesday has become my slack day. Last week I spent my whole Wednesday at home (before taking the red eye for T-Day) and I still didn't manage to inform you about travels. No excuse for that. Right now I'm trying to convince Jen to go on a week long Southwestern Road Trip in May. There are tons of National Parks I want to revisit and also places like White Sands National Monument that I keep missing out on. I think she'll be so impressed with my itinerary that she'll have to take the time off work. Then you'll hear about it on future Wagonwheels.

Now onto some thoughts... Wow nothing. My brain is vacant. I have nothing at all to say. This is bad... Let me hit my head on random objects around the office and see if that helps...

... Okay I hit my head on a coat rack and that seems to have done the trick.

Here are some random world facts that you may've never known!

*DID YOU KNOW? Camels are allergic to eggs.

*DID YOU KNOW? Crocodile Dundee was originally conceived as a project for Mel Gibson but by the time production started he no longer had an accent.

*DID YOU KNOW? Lebanon and Papa New Guinea don't recognize Washington, D.C. as the capital of the United States? They still consider Philadelphia (the original capital) as the official capital.

*DID YOU KNOW? After Eminem and Elton John's groundbreaking performance at the awards show, Eminem locked Elton in his piano. He also voted FOR Prop 8.

*DID YOU KNOW? Many years ago the order of planets from the sun went Venus, Mercury, Mars, Earth NOT Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. Apparently the dinosaurs had something to do with the switch. Or maybe the switch killed the dinosaurs. One or the other.

*DID YOU KNOW? The Whig Party has been predicted to make a comeback in 2020.

*DID YOU KNOW? Goomba and Mario were originally reversed. It was called Super Goomba Brothers and Goomba was the main guy and Mario was the first enemy. But then kids got scared during test runs and they changed it.

*DID YOU KNOW? In light of the water shortages in France, Evian has started creating water by combining two servings of Hydrogen with one serving of Oxygen.

Okay... That's good for now. There will be a quiz on Monday. Study up.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BOO GIANTS

I don't know, I'd rather have some off field issues with a nearly undefeated team than a bunch of saints at 6-5-1 (yes, 6 wins, 5 losses and 1 tie... the Eagles tied a game this year. Actually of all the games in NFL history that have ended in ties, the Eagles have played in about 25% of them). That said, this Plaxico Burress business is downright nuts. If you don't know the story, the Giants rather good receiver accidentally shot himself in the leg the other day. He didn't have a permit for the gun and now he's in some legal trouble...

What gets me about this story though is that all these reports that "Burress was shot." Last night on Monday Night Football, his notoriously sleazy agent Drew Rosenhaus was talking about how frightened he was when he hard Plaxico was shot in the leg. Understandable since Rosenhaus' client Sean Taylor was killed last year after getting shot in the leg. But the problem is that while intruders broke into Sean Taylor's house and shot him, Plaxico Burress shot HIMSELF in the leg. Sure, it's serious. Sure, Drew should've been worried. But let's get the facts straight. Saying someone "was shot" implies that someone else did the shooting. "Plaxico" =Subject, "shot"= verb. The preposition has been left out of the sentence, which is usually a practice done because the prepositional phrase is assumed. Like "The tennis player lost." One would assume he lost to another tennis player. If he actually lost to himself, the sentence would probably read "The tennis player lost to himself." Sad, but maybe he lost at solitaire not tennis. So Rosenhaus, listen: Be worried about your damn client. But don't pretend he was a real victim. Your client last year was a real victim. Plaxico is just a Superbowl Champion with a really unfortunate name.

MAMMOTH MONDAYS

Today's Music Monday has been usurped by the news that scientists are well on their way to cloning a Woolly Mammoth. For those that don't know animals, these guys are extinct. Loooong extinct. They're also really adorable. Mind you, I've seen Jurassic Park. I know the dangers of bringing back animals from the dead. But can you imagine? If they can customize little mammoths? Oh the possibilities have me rolling on the floor with cute-induced laughter. Many of you may not realize that Mammoths, despite their rather gnarly name, are indeed some huggable creatures.

Look



Okay, I'll admit, that's a stuffed mammoth. But even this true-to-life replica is friendly enough to make a Russian wrestler go "aw."



I'm being selfish. Mammoths shouldn't be brought back. It's cruel to everyone, mostly the mammoth. The amount of money and fuel that will be burnt to make this happen, not to mention the bidding war amongst the world's zoos to host this guy... Maybe he should just remain dead. It's like that episode of Buffy, where she brings her Mom back to life and you see her walking from the graveyard to the house and Buffy's warned that this raising the dead thing is imperfect and there can be some serious repercussions and the last minute Buffy undoes the revival. It's sometimes best to remember things as they were and leave it at that. Not to mention, they're also talking about cloning Neanderthals. Now that's the worst idea yet. They'd just clone tons of them and make them slaves. Would they be kept in a zoo too? They wouldn't know how to interact with humans obviously. They'd give babies nightmares. Why even try? There's a horror movie for you. Night of the Living Neanderthals.

Please don't open that box.