Friday, April 25, 2008

Friendly Fridays!!

Yes we have another themed post. Friendly Fridays! For those of you who know me, you know I'm a gigantic kid. Some would even say a gigantic baby. Not a cry baby. I hold strong when I stub my toe, I swear. But I love cute things. I love adorable stuffed animals. Not lame shit though. You won't find me with an ugly as Mickey Mouse or some shit like that. I'm a fucking connoisseur.

Friday is the day you will hear stories about my many animal friends. You'll also hear some musings on Goomba (you all probably remember my short lived Goomba blog), funny creatures I see on the street and various cartoon characters.

Our debut topic concerns cute examples of uncute creatures. I want to show everyone just how dedicated I am to THE ADORABLE. Ha, I like that phrase. We always hear about "the" this and "the" that. "The Other" for instance. I think adorable deserves a The distinction. The Adorable. If I ever have a band again, I think that's what I'll name it. The Adorable.

Back to earth... here's how it went down. I set out on a google scavenger hunt to find cute spiders, rats, bats and snakes. Of course there are plenty of people who are into all these animals, Platonic and even I bet sexually. I'm not one of these people. I don't fear any of them but if I were locked in a closet with even one rat, I'd probably attempt to choke myself to death. Or maybe I'd just jump on the rat. Sorry PETA. I'd never stomp a dog though. That's gotta be worth something right? (Although I do have to admit that yesterday I was watching my bosses dog and contemplating whether or not I'd actually be able to eat the dog if I had to. I don't think I could eat the whole dog, but maybe his foot. If I really really had to... Now that I think about it seems so gross but looking at the actual dog yesterday, I decided I could do it).

Back to earth again... here's the best I could find.

Spider

Let's pretend for a minute that this guy doesn't have four eyes. He's furry. He's got a wonderful smile. All and all not bad. Cuteness rating? I'd say a solid 7.




Rat

Incredible. Sure, they are pet rats not burrito sized Washington DC rats. But come on. Did you ever ever think you'd see such a cute rat? Let alone two? It helps that the big guy's tail isn't shown. That really hurts rats a lot. It's like the beautiful person who has a mole that covers half his/her face. Some things are hard to look past. Cuteness rating? Easy 10.




Bat

Now of these four, I think bats are my least favorite. They get caught in your hair and scratch and bite and give you rabies. I didn't think there was a chance in hell that I'd find a cute bat. But look what we got! It's like a little winged monkey. Cuteness rating? 9




Snake

I don't really mind snakes that much. One time I was out hiking and I thought I heard a rattle snake... oh wait, that never happened. I've thought "shit, I hope I don't hear a rattle snake." and once I heard a mountain lion. But never a rattler...This little guy is great. He's small and looks kinda like Lowly worm, who's a classic friendly character. Cuteness rating? 8




All in all, I think we did pretty well. If any of you have cuter examples of uncute animals, send them in! You can never have enough cute.

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