Every Thursday, I'll say something thoughtful. This won't be a day where I go out and do something thoughtful although I really should. The fact that I'm not helping anybody in my life is starting to get to me. So much so though that I'm seriously looking at social work as a possible career path as I continue to write. But that's a separate HUGE topic... No no no, "Thoughtful Thursdays" will be Alex's ramblings on something. Okay I can hear the chatter already. Isn't this blog all your ramblings? Yes. Yes. Yes. But Thoughtful Thursdays will be more focused. Opinions about specific items, food dishes, social phenomena. It won't focus on topical items though (Topical Tuesdays is where you'll find that kinda thing).
Our Debut Thought: Food Abbreviations
We all use them. Some people seem to derive great pleasure from using them, getting cute with them, writing them on menus in goofball fonts and all. They range from the inoffensive (Veggie for Vegetable) to the make me wanna shoot a puppy (Guac for Guacamole). In general, I don't use ANY abbreviations. I don't even say Veggie. I never say Mac N' Cheese (although sometimes I make the whole phrase longer and more confusing by saying 'Macaroni and Bees Please!'). Fine, I admit I do say Mayo, but I don't care about disrespecting the sanctity of MAYONNAISE because I hate that shit.
Let's imagine for a second that the abbreviations really went overboard. It could all get a little confusing. Mozza for Mozzarella. Yum some Manischewitz Matzo Sticks. Or what about Pea Butt for Peanut Butter? Or Fuck for Focaccia. Or Lezzie for Lasagna. Why not just really take shit down and abbreviate the whole menu. It's all about rebuses in 2008. You know, if we abbreviate the abbreviations, the whole food thing is super Hip-Hop. Macaroni and Cheese becomes MC. Guacamole becomes G. Veggie becomes VG. Not really hip-hop on that one but VG is a rating system for records and Disc Jockeys use records. (FYI...VG as a record condition rating stands for Very Good. But that's rather confusing because as all the vinyl lovers out there know, a VG record is actually not in amazing condition. It's more like OK or Good at best. And G, which stands for Good, generally means Awful. We'll take up this kind of thing during Music Mondays though).
Abbreviations are convenient sure. I can totally understand abbreviating antidisestablishmentarianism to ADT. But is it really that hard to say "Macaroni?" It's a joyous word. It's fun to say. Try it sometime!
My hatred of abbreviations extends to most things. Jen loves abbreviations. Food abbreviations, life abbreviations, anything that can be shorter, she's into. "We're outta TP," "Lemme change into my PJs." That kinda thing. I don't knock her. To each her own...Although, Pajama is easily a top 5 English language word. Why oh why abbreviate it? I think tonight I'll begin abbreviating things that have never before been abbreviated and confuse the hell out of her. I'll say TP, but I'll mean Toothpaste. I'll say PJ but I'll mean Portugal in June. She'll be confused, she may even cry, but at the end of the day, we'll hug and make up. We have a very very powerful relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment