You may think music doesn't cost money since no one seems to pay for it anymore, but if you want that good shit, you gotta pay. Sure you can basically find dirt weed on the streets of any major city, but if you want that pure kush, you gotta spend. I've already wasted many a post pontificating on the price of mini-LPs and rare records and the like. This is a bit different because I'm on a quest to decide my limits. What's the most I'd pay for a single CD? For a box set? For a record? I mention this because I am currently drooling over this 10 CD Parliament Mini LP Collection. It's all their albums from 1974-1980. Some of the original albums came with great inserts like pop-out figures, comic books, t-shirt iron-ons, etc. Now it's out in mini form. Well it WAS out in mini form. About 300 of these were made or something. And now the cheapest I can find it for is $287, and that's a shady site I don't trust. From a real place, the cheapest is about $400. That's 40 bucks a CD. Jen would never allow me to sell off some IRA money for this. Never. But I can still drool, right?
This brings me to my initial question. How much is too much? I remember a time when I could get this rare Japanese-only Eddie Hazel CD for 40 bucks. Back then, 40 was too steep. Now it's on eBay for at least 100. Sure, when it was 40, my income consisted of the money I took from my parents. (I didn't exactly rob them. They'd give me money for food and I'd keep the change. Or not eat. Or eat neighbors' pets. With the excess money, I'd buy a CD here and there, but nothing ever more than 20 bucks).
Right now I'd say my CD price limit is about $27. I bought a couple mini LPs last week for about that much or less (including shipping). 30's too much, unless I were to see a CD that's usually rare enough to fetch 100-150, going for 30. Then I'd cave.
As far as records go, I'd spend 100 bucks on the right record. Nothing more though. Records like Parliament's "Osmium" or Terry Callier's "Occasional Rain." I'd pay 100 for a copy in VG+ or better condition. Nothing less. I saw "Osmium" in VG- condition. I passed... A few months back I bought the limited edition Harold and Maude soundtrack for 80 bucks. Only 2500 were made. It comes with a bonus 7 inch record and a 40 page book too. Last week I checked on eBay and one sold for $130. So not a bad investment.
I always tell myself that it's better to be addicted to music than to Horse. Not sure if I'm denial or if there's some truth to that... Ha horse! Did they ever REALLY call heroin that? Smack, junk, horse. It's gotta be the best drug name ever. All drugs should be named after farm animals. Acid can be "Rooster." Coke? Bunny. PCP? Pig. Weed? Donkey. Uh... Crystal Meth? Chicken. I don't know. Horse. No, music addiction isn't horse. Unless of course I'm boiling down my vinyl and injecting it into my veins. But I'm not doing that... not yet at least.
One more thought... If any of my dedicated readers want to show their undying love for me, I will happily accept that Parliament Mini LP Set as a gift. Thanks in advance!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: WALL*E!
Oh adorable robot, how I'm counting down the minutes until I watch you goof around on the screen. From the posters and short previews I have a hunch that you may be Pixar's cutest creation. Don't know if you're quite R2D2 level, but time will tell. Maybe if C3PO dies, you can become R2's new buddy. That would make nearly everyone on the planet's day, year, life, anything. Sorry 3PO.
Let's talk about Pixar a moment. So far these guys have tackled toys, bugs, monsters, fish, superheroes, cars, rats cooking food, and now robots (you remember that non-Pixar mess Robots? Damn). What does the future hold? I think Pixar can make anything good. (FYI...I'd absolutely love to work for Pixar, if anyone knows anybody). A Pixar movie about Huggie and the gang would be swell. What else could work? Regular old animals are pretty much out I think. It's been done too often. Unless it's a non-mammal category like they did with bugs and fish. Birds could be cool. Or frogs. No maybe not frogs. Ah! How about bones!?! Like dinosaur bones! They come to life in the museum and must quest for their skin. Of course some are put together wrong. Pay attention, Pixar. It's gold. NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM has a similar idea, so maybe not in a museum. Maybe in some fossil field.
What else? I'm just gonna list things that pop in my head. Some good, some bad... Candy. Office supplies (don't underestimate the appeal of a walking stapler). Trees? That could be a little boring since trees sort of have to stay in place. A talking car is one thing but a tree that can just prance around? That seems a bit ridiculous really. Oooh I got one. Appliances! Sears: The Movie. Come on, I know some of you out there think your toaster's pretty adorable.
Let's talk about Pixar a moment. So far these guys have tackled toys, bugs, monsters, fish, superheroes, cars, rats cooking food, and now robots (you remember that non-Pixar mess Robots? Damn). What does the future hold? I think Pixar can make anything good. (FYI...I'd absolutely love to work for Pixar, if anyone knows anybody). A Pixar movie about Huggie and the gang would be swell. What else could work? Regular old animals are pretty much out I think. It's been done too often. Unless it's a non-mammal category like they did with bugs and fish. Birds could be cool. Or frogs. No maybe not frogs. Ah! How about bones!?! Like dinosaur bones! They come to life in the museum and must quest for their skin. Of course some are put together wrong. Pay attention, Pixar. It's gold. NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM has a similar idea, so maybe not in a museum. Maybe in some fossil field.
What else? I'm just gonna list things that pop in my head. Some good, some bad... Candy. Office supplies (don't underestimate the appeal of a walking stapler). Trees? That could be a little boring since trees sort of have to stay in place. A talking car is one thing but a tree that can just prance around? That seems a bit ridiculous really. Oooh I got one. Appliances! Sears: The Movie. Come on, I know some of you out there think your toaster's pretty adorable.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: PASTA!
Here's a thought: Spaghetti is the best pasta. I don't think I realized this until the other night. Back in the day, I used to eat spaghetti all the time. Recently though, it's been more about the linguine or even fettucini. Then my girlfriend came along. She doesn't like Italian food much (which is beyond insane. I told her yesterday that's like not liking The Beatles... oh good pun. Yesterday, Beatles. Nice. Not intentional, but I'll take credit). After two years, I've at least convinced her to eat Italian food at home. That's fine by me. For a Jew, I can make some damn good Italian food. But get this, she doesn't like spaghetti! Macaroni, penne, rigatoni, great. But not spaghettums (that's my pet name for spaghetti). The thicker the better. Usually, she'll compromise and settle for linguine.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. Last week, I got some spaghetti. And shit, I may never go back.
My dad always used to go crazy whenever I told him I didn't like a certain shape of pasta. "It's all the same. Same ingredients. Same!" I hope this isn't a widespread belief. Because a bowl of penne and a bowl of spaghetti are two very different experiences. That's like saying a pureed hamburger and a real hamburger are the same thing. Texture matters! With tubular pasta (not tubular like Ninja Turtle tubular but in the shape of a tube) the sauce can creep in, making it explode in your mouth like a jelly donut! If the pasta's ruffled, the olive oil will seep in the cracks to forge a unique bond with your palette. It all matters.
Back to the spaghetti dilemma...I understand where Jen's coming from with not liking thin pasta. Angel hair never did it for me. Not enough to sink your teeth in to. But spaghetti is both thick and thin. It's not very wide, but it has mass. Linguini's flat, spaghetti's round. That's why it makes such a good pair for the meatball. Long and round messing around with fat and round. Perfection.
Even beyond taste, spaghetti packs a mean punch. Remember that scene in Ratatouille where the critic tastes a bite of the rat's ratatouille and is zapped back to his childhood. That's spaghetti with me. Twirling it up with my fork and plopping it in my mouth, covering my cheeks in sauce all along the way! Jen also cuts her pasta into small pieces. She must not know how to twirl it up in the spoon!!! I'll have to teach her how to do that tonight when I make some spaghetti and meatballs. It adds to the whole experience. Once it's all twirled up, it's thick. This will change her whole outlook. Yes definitely.
Before I go, let's try something. Spaghetti and meatballs Say it aloud. It has a Macaroni and Cheese type ring to it. The ear just loves the way it sounds. Tagliatelle and meatballs? Not so much.
For all you spaghetti haters out there, think of your youth, before you knew of any pasta shape other than macaroni or spaghetti. Don't you miss the simpler times? I sure do. From now on, spaghetti only!
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. Last week, I got some spaghetti. And shit, I may never go back.
My dad always used to go crazy whenever I told him I didn't like a certain shape of pasta. "It's all the same. Same ingredients. Same!" I hope this isn't a widespread belief. Because a bowl of penne and a bowl of spaghetti are two very different experiences. That's like saying a pureed hamburger and a real hamburger are the same thing. Texture matters! With tubular pasta (not tubular like Ninja Turtle tubular but in the shape of a tube) the sauce can creep in, making it explode in your mouth like a jelly donut! If the pasta's ruffled, the olive oil will seep in the cracks to forge a unique bond with your palette. It all matters.
Back to the spaghetti dilemma...I understand where Jen's coming from with not liking thin pasta. Angel hair never did it for me. Not enough to sink your teeth in to. But spaghetti is both thick and thin. It's not very wide, but it has mass. Linguini's flat, spaghetti's round. That's why it makes such a good pair for the meatball. Long and round messing around with fat and round. Perfection.
Even beyond taste, spaghetti packs a mean punch. Remember that scene in Ratatouille where the critic tastes a bite of the rat's ratatouille and is zapped back to his childhood. That's spaghetti with me. Twirling it up with my fork and plopping it in my mouth, covering my cheeks in sauce all along the way! Jen also cuts her pasta into small pieces. She must not know how to twirl it up in the spoon!!! I'll have to teach her how to do that tonight when I make some spaghetti and meatballs. It adds to the whole experience. Once it's all twirled up, it's thick. This will change her whole outlook. Yes definitely.
Before I go, let's try something. Spaghetti and meatballs Say it aloud. It has a Macaroni and Cheese type ring to it. The ear just loves the way it sounds. Tagliatelle and meatballs? Not so much.
For all you spaghetti haters out there, think of your youth, before you knew of any pasta shape other than macaroni or spaghetti. Don't you miss the simpler times? I sure do. From now on, spaghetti only!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: DELAWARE
Oh Delware. You're the first state but also the second smallest state, making your Size to Ratification Date ratio 2:1. Pretty damn impressive. Not even Rhode Island has those kind of numbers. Speaking of size and Rhode Island, I still don't believe RI is smaller than Delaware. It's not like Delaware's bigger by much. 2490 Sq Ft to 1545 sq ft. 955 sq feet difference. What's 955 square feet? That's less than the size of two Los Angeli (and a good bit smaller than Los Angeles county)! Perhaps Delaware seems so much smaller because I spent four years of my life in RI. Then again, I lived right next to Delaware for 18 years. Shouldn't this even out?
Plain and simple, Delaware sucks. I'd take Connecticut or New Jersey over it any day. Maybe I need to be convinced. Because I can't think of a single thing of worth that Delaware has other than tax free shopping, which in the Amazon.com age is pretty worthless. They have beaches that are supposed to have some charm. As you can see from the map below, I haven't been to much of Delaware. Maybe that's why it seems so weak.
Delaware's biggest city Wilmington is about 25 minutes from Philly. It's a bustling metropolis of 70,000 that is essentially just a large suburb. It has a sort of skyline and is definitely urban but they mainly only get Philly News.
I'm sure Wilmington has its own newspaper and probably some special edition of the Philly 11:00 news, but not much more. As you can see, I have very little to say about the Blue Hen State (yes, the Blue Hen State). So let me tell you a short story... Perhaps it at least partially explains why I have oh so much love for Delaware.
Here we go... "The Night Alex Almost Lost His Car" ... eerie, right?
A few days before I left for my Freshman year of college, my friend Kehinde and I decided to smoke a few blunts and drive down to Baltimore. At the time, Kehinde lived pretty far South of Philadelphia, nearly at the PA/DE state line, so the drive to Baltimore wouldn't be more than an hour and some change, especially at 2AM. We hopped on I-95, cranked up the Company Flow and took off. It never really occurred to me at the time that Baltimore at 4AM might not be the world's safest place. But hey, you're only a kid once.
After about thirty minutes on the road, we stopped at a Burger King. Weed induced munchies never hit me the way they hit some people. I never fiended for food. But at the same time, I never turned down a meal either. And if the prospect of food hit my brain, the saliva glands began to roll. The thought of BK bacon on a microwaved patty got me running to the door, knocking over some weary travelers and grabbing blindly at the lunch-line style row of snacks. But no burger awaited me. It was 3AM, the time dinner gave way to breakfast. Plenty of sausages and croissants, but no burgers. Some people eat stray puppies when they're high but I'm a man of standards. If I want a burger, I'll have a burger or nothing.
I begged the guy behind the counter for a burger.
"I know you have them back there."
To which he offered the robot reply, "No burgers after 2:59AM."
This debacle left me bitter. I now had no intention of continuing on to Baltimore. I wanted to find an all night diner and call it quits. Kehinde got an egg sandwich of some sort, so he felt fine enough to continue, but since I had the car, I made the decisions. I don't think they'd suspended his license yet, but.. well maybe they had. He was always getting his license suspended for some shit.
I turned back home. After fifteen minutes we realized we had no blunts left. Most people can deal with this. But two weed fiends? If there's kush, it has to be smoked. We waited till we reached Wilmington and turned off the highway. We drove down an empty boulevard for an mile or so and then saw a gas station.
It took a second, but as I looked around, I had the hunch that we may've wandered into the ghettos of Wilmington. Not sure what tipped me off exactly. Maybe the locked 24 hour mini-mart. Or the twelve year old kid with his ten year old girlfriend sitting in the middle of the gas station like it was 4:00PM, not 4:00AM. Or maybe the empty 40 bottles and used condoms and emaciated cats. We didn't care. At least I didn't care. Kehinde may've been a little worried, hanging with a crazy white guy in a Lexus and all. He could always pretend he didn't know me I guess. That's what I would've done.
We walked to the mini-mart window. Although the store itself was closed, a man still sold gas, cigarettes, chips and the like out of the store window. Ahead of us, a fifty-something man ordered a pack of Newports. He only had a dollar though. I offered him another two dollars, but he seemed more interested in my Lincoln bill. Forget that the smokes only cost 3 bucks and some change. Now he wanted a soda too. I shrugged. Seemed reasonable enough. But the transaction didn't end there. The man stood there for another five minutes, not paying, not ordering anything else. Just standing. Meanwhile, the little twelve year old had disappeared. Next thing I know, I look up and three 18-20 year old men come out from under a dark bridge. They don't surround us exactly, but they surely set up in some strategic position.
My Spidey sense began to flicker. Not enough to start my feet, but enough for me at least to recognize the situation. Kehinde tugged my arm. I got the hint. We jogged right back to the car, locked the doors and drove off.
On the ride home, Kehinde convinced me that we were seconds away from a definite car jacking and probably pretty close to getting killed too. He said that perhaps the guys wouldn't have shot us in front of the 10 year old girl, but maybe. I'm sure he was just playing another fun round of "scare whitey" but nonetheless, I'm pretty convinced they were at least ready to take the car. Can you imagine? Then Wagonwheel Wednesdays would've been known as Walking Wednesdays. Not exactly the same ring.
For those Delawarian readers, I'm sure your state has something offer the world other than Joe Biden, but until then, I'm voting you worst state in the Union. Sorry.
I'd rather be worst than second worst though. At least people may remember you exist now.
**As you can see from this map, I haven't been to much of Delaware. So please take my ranking with a grain of salt.
Plain and simple, Delaware sucks. I'd take Connecticut or New Jersey over it any day. Maybe I need to be convinced. Because I can't think of a single thing of worth that Delaware has other than tax free shopping, which in the Amazon.com age is pretty worthless. They have beaches that are supposed to have some charm. As you can see from the map below, I haven't been to much of Delaware. Maybe that's why it seems so weak.
Delaware's biggest city Wilmington is about 25 minutes from Philly. It's a bustling metropolis of 70,000 that is essentially just a large suburb. It has a sort of skyline and is definitely urban but they mainly only get Philly News.
I'm sure Wilmington has its own newspaper and probably some special edition of the Philly 11:00 news, but not much more. As you can see, I have very little to say about the Blue Hen State (yes, the Blue Hen State). So let me tell you a short story... Perhaps it at least partially explains why I have oh so much love for Delaware.Here we go... "The Night Alex Almost Lost His Car" ... eerie, right?
A few days before I left for my Freshman year of college, my friend Kehinde and I decided to smoke a few blunts and drive down to Baltimore. At the time, Kehinde lived pretty far South of Philadelphia, nearly at the PA/DE state line, so the drive to Baltimore wouldn't be more than an hour and some change, especially at 2AM. We hopped on I-95, cranked up the Company Flow and took off. It never really occurred to me at the time that Baltimore at 4AM might not be the world's safest place. But hey, you're only a kid once.
After about thirty minutes on the road, we stopped at a Burger King. Weed induced munchies never hit me the way they hit some people. I never fiended for food. But at the same time, I never turned down a meal either. And if the prospect of food hit my brain, the saliva glands began to roll. The thought of BK bacon on a microwaved patty got me running to the door, knocking over some weary travelers and grabbing blindly at the lunch-line style row of snacks. But no burger awaited me. It was 3AM, the time dinner gave way to breakfast. Plenty of sausages and croissants, but no burgers. Some people eat stray puppies when they're high but I'm a man of standards. If I want a burger, I'll have a burger or nothing.
I begged the guy behind the counter for a burger.
"I know you have them back there."
To which he offered the robot reply, "No burgers after 2:59AM."
This debacle left me bitter. I now had no intention of continuing on to Baltimore. I wanted to find an all night diner and call it quits. Kehinde got an egg sandwich of some sort, so he felt fine enough to continue, but since I had the car, I made the decisions. I don't think they'd suspended his license yet, but.. well maybe they had. He was always getting his license suspended for some shit.
I turned back home. After fifteen minutes we realized we had no blunts left. Most people can deal with this. But two weed fiends? If there's kush, it has to be smoked. We waited till we reached Wilmington and turned off the highway. We drove down an empty boulevard for an mile or so and then saw a gas station.
It took a second, but as I looked around, I had the hunch that we may've wandered into the ghettos of Wilmington. Not sure what tipped me off exactly. Maybe the locked 24 hour mini-mart. Or the twelve year old kid with his ten year old girlfriend sitting in the middle of the gas station like it was 4:00PM, not 4:00AM. Or maybe the empty 40 bottles and used condoms and emaciated cats. We didn't care. At least I didn't care. Kehinde may've been a little worried, hanging with a crazy white guy in a Lexus and all. He could always pretend he didn't know me I guess. That's what I would've done.
We walked to the mini-mart window. Although the store itself was closed, a man still sold gas, cigarettes, chips and the like out of the store window. Ahead of us, a fifty-something man ordered a pack of Newports. He only had a dollar though. I offered him another two dollars, but he seemed more interested in my Lincoln bill. Forget that the smokes only cost 3 bucks and some change. Now he wanted a soda too. I shrugged. Seemed reasonable enough. But the transaction didn't end there. The man stood there for another five minutes, not paying, not ordering anything else. Just standing. Meanwhile, the little twelve year old had disappeared. Next thing I know, I look up and three 18-20 year old men come out from under a dark bridge. They don't surround us exactly, but they surely set up in some strategic position.
My Spidey sense began to flicker. Not enough to start my feet, but enough for me at least to recognize the situation. Kehinde tugged my arm. I got the hint. We jogged right back to the car, locked the doors and drove off.
On the ride home, Kehinde convinced me that we were seconds away from a definite car jacking and probably pretty close to getting killed too. He said that perhaps the guys wouldn't have shot us in front of the 10 year old girl, but maybe. I'm sure he was just playing another fun round of "scare whitey" but nonetheless, I'm pretty convinced they were at least ready to take the car. Can you imagine? Then Wagonwheel Wednesdays would've been known as Walking Wednesdays. Not exactly the same ring.
For those Delawarian readers, I'm sure your state has something offer the world other than Joe Biden, but until then, I'm voting you worst state in the Union. Sorry.
I'd rather be worst than second worst though. At least people may remember you exist now.
**As you can see from this map, I haven't been to much of Delaware. So please take my ranking with a grain of salt.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAY: GEORGE CARLIN
George Carlin never touched me much as a performer. I realize his place and importance, and if someone had offered me free tickets to a Carlin concert, I probably would've said yes, but I never found him particularly funny. When I heard he died the other day, I didn't feel the void brought on by Richard Pryor's death. Okay, fine. Pryor had sort of been dead for years to me when he died so I didn't feel a void. I was probably eight when he stopped making movies or performing live, meaning that I was at least ten years away (depending on the club)from being old enough to gain legal access in a club to see him. So void isn't really the right word. Sorrow? No not quite. Wait, I'm not even talking about Richard Pryor in this post. There's no good reason to spend time remembering the word. I should save those powers for when I take the GREs.
The point here is simply that I wasn't miserable when George Carlin died. Yet for a brief moment today, his death actually struck me and made me stop. This morning as I drove to work, I noticed a bunch of bouquets on Selma and Vine. As I took a closer look, I saw that all the flowers sat atop George Carlin
's star on the Walk of Fame. Actually the Vine strip is more like the place where Walk of Fame rejects go. It still counts but it's not on Hollywood. There's even one spot further up Vine where someone's star has been chopped in half. Who? You got me. I think the person had a B and an L in their name. Then just a giant crack where the star used to be.I guess they were repaving the road, and bam, there goes the sidewalk. That's how much love the Vine stars get... But yes, flowers for Carlin. Roses and daffodils and forget-me-nots. Actually I don't know what a forget-me-not looks like. But the name is apt... Ah, off topic yet again. I'm more focused in real life, you know...
Okay. One step at a time. Step A: Alex hears of Carlin's death. Reaction to Step A: Alex not sad. Step B: Alex sees flowers for Carlin death on Carlin star. Reaction to Step B:Alex sad. Not sad exactly but I did take an honest moment to think about the man and his beard and his flowing gray hair. Something about the realization that George Carlin's star had been under my nose all these weeks without my knowledge; something about these loyal fans who made the pilgrimage to Hollywood to pay their respects; something about the driver honking for me to hurry the fuck up and turn onto Vine; something made me take a moment.
Perhaps one day I'll appreciate you Mr. Carlin. Maybe one day I'll listen to what you said about those 7 words and appreciate your observations not because of their place in the stand-up canon, but because I find them hilarious. But probably not. Not because it's impossible to change one's mind, but because I'm too stubborn to even give you a chance. In the meantime, I'll tip my hat off to a man that many love, who I too at least loved in Bill and Ted's adventures.
Whoa.. He looks like Stephen Hawking here..
The point here is simply that I wasn't miserable when George Carlin died. Yet for a brief moment today, his death actually struck me and made me stop. This morning as I drove to work, I noticed a bunch of bouquets on Selma and Vine. As I took a closer look, I saw that all the flowers sat atop George Carlin
's star on the Walk of Fame. Actually the Vine strip is more like the place where Walk of Fame rejects go. It still counts but it's not on Hollywood. There's even one spot further up Vine where someone's star has been chopped in half. Who? You got me. I think the person had a B and an L in their name. Then just a giant crack where the star used to be.I guess they were repaving the road, and bam, there goes the sidewalk. That's how much love the Vine stars get... But yes, flowers for Carlin. Roses and daffodils and forget-me-nots. Actually I don't know what a forget-me-not looks like. But the name is apt... Ah, off topic yet again. I'm more focused in real life, you know...
Okay. One step at a time. Step A: Alex hears of Carlin's death. Reaction to Step A: Alex not sad. Step B: Alex sees flowers for Carlin death on Carlin star. Reaction to Step B:Alex sad. Not sad exactly but I did take an honest moment to think about the man and his beard and his flowing gray hair. Something about the realization that George Carlin's star had been under my nose all these weeks without my knowledge; something about these loyal fans who made the pilgrimage to Hollywood to pay their respects; something about the driver honking for me to hurry the fuck up and turn onto Vine; something made me take a moment.
Perhaps one day I'll appreciate you Mr. Carlin. Maybe one day I'll listen to what you said about those 7 words and appreciate your observations not because of their place in the stand-up canon, but because I find them hilarious. But probably not. Not because it's impossible to change one's mind, but because I'm too stubborn to even give you a chance. In the meantime, I'll tip my hat off to a man that many love, who I too at least loved in Bill and Ted's adventures.
Whoa.. He looks like Stephen Hawking here..
Monday, June 23, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: MINI LPs
Sorry if this Music Monday sounds too much like last Music Monday but my Mini LP addiction has grown substantially. Maybe last week's post is to blame. All I can think about now are these Mini LPs. It's pretty sad actually since I buy so many regular LPs and hate the sound of CDs in the first place. It's like how Jen loves the little Japanese toys. Same thing really. A meticulous recreation of the original but in tiny form. So I decided I should stick to albums that have elaborate covers. Not just good covers, but covers like the Velvet Underground S/T (With a banana that actually peels off) or the Rolling Stones' "Sticky Fingers" (with a real zipper)... (Yes, both those examples were designed by Andy Warhol).
Of course the more elaborate recreations may cost more money. Like John Lennon's "Walls and Bridges" which I just purchased. The album is just okay. Better than people give it credit for but not great. I saw it at Amoeba yesterday for $30, while the other Lennon mini lps are $20. The main reason is that the original packaging has this booklet. I can't really describe it any other way, since I don't have the vinyl version and I can't find a decent description of it online. Maybe it's not special at all. But the cover looks textured at least. That's something. Anyway, I saw it on eBay for $17, so I caved and bought it. Oh well.
There are things I can give up to support the habit. I want a new pair of shoes. Now I'll wait. I need a haircut. Again, I'll wait. So what, my hair's all over the place. It'll probably soon resemble a mullet. So what! I'm a barbarian with messy hair and old shoes. SO WHAT! At least I'll have my special mini LPs.
Ha. Sometimes when I write these I imagine Jen's reaction. She works at a rather silent place. Any laugh would bounce off the walls like a donkey in a library. She asks me to get a haircut at least twice a day. It's very important to her. And I understand. No one wants to date a bum, not even bums. That's why you rarely see married bums and you rarely see bums picking up other bums. There are folks with bum fetishes. I knew a girl in college who dated a bum. Also, one of those pregnant Gloucester, MA teens has a bum baby growing in her stomach. It's not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with bums.. (ha I feel a bit absurd saying bum so many times... How about we create a new word for them. Clunk? That'll do). True there are many clunks who are clunks because they have mental and/or substance abuse problems. But there are also clunks who are fine people caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. People you may love to date, marry, or at least fuck. But years on the street can change a man. From his smells to his attitude. It's like small time weed dealers who go into prison innocent and come out hardcore murderous crack-slingers. Life without a home ain't no joke. So don't get on my case. I'm not spewing bumism. More than anything else, I'm spewing the thought that most people hate bums. I'm saying that the rest of the world is a bumist. Don't blame me. I'm the Farrakhan of Bum's rights.
I think I'm a little off topic. Sigh. Now I feel bad. I'm talking about fancy little Japanese replicas as I mock people without homes. What sort of fuck am I? I recently applied to be a mentor to an impoverished child for this precise reason. I'm a good person. Not a great person, but a much better person than many of you out in the world. Yet I'm spoiled. I say crazy things like "no one wants to date a bum." I could easily just erase all the above bum-bashing and pretend that I'm champagne.. oops, I meant to say "a champion." But I'm true. You all deserve this much.
Back to the point at hand... Mini LPs are great. Run out and get them. Cheers.
Of course the more elaborate recreations may cost more money. Like John Lennon's "Walls and Bridges" which I just purchased. The album is just okay. Better than people give it credit for but not great. I saw it at Amoeba yesterday for $30, while the other Lennon mini lps are $20. The main reason is that the original packaging has this booklet. I can't really describe it any other way, since I don't have the vinyl version and I can't find a decent description of it online. Maybe it's not special at all. But the cover looks textured at least. That's something. Anyway, I saw it on eBay for $17, so I caved and bought it. Oh well.
There are things I can give up to support the habit. I want a new pair of shoes. Now I'll wait. I need a haircut. Again, I'll wait. So what, my hair's all over the place. It'll probably soon resemble a mullet. So what! I'm a barbarian with messy hair and old shoes. SO WHAT! At least I'll have my special mini LPs.
Ha. Sometimes when I write these I imagine Jen's reaction. She works at a rather silent place. Any laugh would bounce off the walls like a donkey in a library. She asks me to get a haircut at least twice a day. It's very important to her. And I understand. No one wants to date a bum, not even bums. That's why you rarely see married bums and you rarely see bums picking up other bums. There are folks with bum fetishes. I knew a girl in college who dated a bum. Also, one of those pregnant Gloucester, MA teens has a bum baby growing in her stomach. It's not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with bums.. (ha I feel a bit absurd saying bum so many times... How about we create a new word for them. Clunk? That'll do). True there are many clunks who are clunks because they have mental and/or substance abuse problems. But there are also clunks who are fine people caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. People you may love to date, marry, or at least fuck. But years on the street can change a man. From his smells to his attitude. It's like small time weed dealers who go into prison innocent and come out hardcore murderous crack-slingers. Life without a home ain't no joke. So don't get on my case. I'm not spewing bumism. More than anything else, I'm spewing the thought that most people hate bums. I'm saying that the rest of the world is a bumist. Don't blame me. I'm the Farrakhan of Bum's rights.
I think I'm a little off topic. Sigh. Now I feel bad. I'm talking about fancy little Japanese replicas as I mock people without homes. What sort of fuck am I? I recently applied to be a mentor to an impoverished child for this precise reason. I'm a good person. Not a great person, but a much better person than many of you out in the world. Yet I'm spoiled. I say crazy things like "no one wants to date a bum." I could easily just erase all the above bum-bashing and pretend that I'm champagne.. oops, I meant to say "a champion." But I'm true. You all deserve this much.
Back to the point at hand... Mini LPs are great. Run out and get them. Cheers.
Friday, June 20, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: RED PANDA ATTACKS!
The Giant Panda is one of the world's cutest animals. He has made an appearance in Friendly Fridays before. So much is made of this wonderful character, that we often forget his cousin the red panda. Red pandas and giant pandas actually aren't related at all. Still, they share a forest. Consider them neighbors that vaguely look alike... If you don't believe in the cuteness of a red panda though... check this out. I'm sure the Japanese equivalent of PETA is furious. Wait, do they even have an equivalent of PETA there? Seems like animal cruelty's more accepted.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS
PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE... WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED COMMENTING!? Please give me something to work with. Even if you just wanna say "stupid argument Alex"... I crave the attention. I'm sure most comics would rather be heckled than just have everything silent.
And now today's thought
As you may have heard, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. When it's bad, it's quite uncomfortable. I've self-diagnosed myself with many types of cancer, various lung ailments, heart problems, blood clots. Anything's fair game. It made life rather unpleasant for Jen. Almost every day I had her check my pulse or feel some lump. Right now it's in remission. I still have days or hours where I worry though.
As I look back on the worst of times, I realize you can put every problem in perspective. It could always be worse. To the guy who lost his finger: at least you didn't lose a hand. To the guy who lost his hand: at least you didn't lose a head... In my case, at least I don't have Munchausen Syndrome. Oh, haven't heard of it? Good thing it's Thoughtful Thursdays! Let's get SAT for a minute. Munchausen: Hypochondria as Mushrooms: PCP, as Amaretto: Moonshine, as BB Gun: Bazooka. Munchausens don't merely think they have diseases, they convince doctors that they have diseases. Whereas a hypo gets needless tests, a Munchausen gets needless operations. They will sometimes inject parts of their bodies with infections so they can receive treatment. The most successful Muncahusen may only have one kidney, a pig's liver, or something equally extreme. They're addicted to positive diagnoses and the treatments that follow. I don't think it's that they want to have the diseases, they just want the attention, the emotional power a sick patient has over a helpless doctor.
Now if that's not sick enough, some people have it so bad that they transfer it to their kids. Not PASS it to their kids, in a hereditary sort of way. Maybe that too, but this is more direct. They'll convince doctors that their kids have all these diseases! They inject their kids with germs so infections will spread! They are so convinced that their children are sick, that they make them sick. As one site warns, these folks may be mentally ill, but it's still child abuse!
So for as bad as I have it, it could be much much worse. Think of your own problems and know someone has more extreme. Unless you have Munchausen Syndrome. Then I can't really offer you any advice.
And now today's thought
As you may have heard, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. When it's bad, it's quite uncomfortable. I've self-diagnosed myself with many types of cancer, various lung ailments, heart problems, blood clots. Anything's fair game. It made life rather unpleasant for Jen. Almost every day I had her check my pulse or feel some lump. Right now it's in remission. I still have days or hours where I worry though.
As I look back on the worst of times, I realize you can put every problem in perspective. It could always be worse. To the guy who lost his finger: at least you didn't lose a hand. To the guy who lost his hand: at least you didn't lose a head... In my case, at least I don't have Munchausen Syndrome. Oh, haven't heard of it? Good thing it's Thoughtful Thursdays! Let's get SAT for a minute. Munchausen: Hypochondria as Mushrooms: PCP, as Amaretto: Moonshine, as BB Gun: Bazooka. Munchausens don't merely think they have diseases, they convince doctors that they have diseases. Whereas a hypo gets needless tests, a Munchausen gets needless operations. They will sometimes inject parts of their bodies with infections so they can receive treatment. The most successful Muncahusen may only have one kidney, a pig's liver, or something equally extreme. They're addicted to positive diagnoses and the treatments that follow. I don't think it's that they want to have the diseases, they just want the attention, the emotional power a sick patient has over a helpless doctor.
Now if that's not sick enough, some people have it so bad that they transfer it to their kids. Not PASS it to their kids, in a hereditary sort of way. Maybe that too, but this is more direct. They'll convince doctors that their kids have all these diseases! They inject their kids with germs so infections will spread! They are so convinced that their children are sick, that they make them sick. As one site warns, these folks may be mentally ill, but it's still child abuse!
So for as bad as I have it, it could be much much worse. Think of your own problems and know someone has more extreme. Unless you have Munchausen Syndrome. Then I can't really offer you any advice.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: CONNECTICUT
For a long time Connecticut had a rather special place on Alex's list of states. It was tied with New Jersey for shittiest state. Perhaps I hated the state so much because I spent so much time driving through it on my way from college to home and vise versa. The years and distance have been kind to Connecticut though. I still don't love it, but I'll begrudgingly admit that Connecticut has its charms. Still, overall it's a lower tier state without a doubt. No national parks. Limited natural beauty. Very dangerous cities. No professional sports teams. Bad stuff.
Half of Connecticut is really just an NYC suburb. The other half is full of country-as-shit towns (yes rural CT has plenty of hicks) and lots of mini-Detroits. There are a few high profile colleges that make the state seem a lot more refined than it actually is. I'm sure lots of Connecticans will be furious about this post. Actually "Connectican" is not a word. There's no way to make the word Connecticut into an "an" or "ite" phrase without sounding absurd. So what are people from Connecticut called? Nutmeggers. Yes. Nutmeggers. I'm Pennsylvanian, they're Nutmeggers. Sad.
Enough of this vague general bashing though.... let's get specific!
FOXWOODS
You have not seen an Indian Casino until you've seen this place. Apparently it's the biggest American casino outside of Vegas or Atlantic City. As of five years ago, it had three or four hotel towers and about thirty restaurants. I'm sure there's more now. It's a trip getting there. You exit 95 (aka I-95... or if you're from LA, you'd probably call it The 95) and go about 10 miles on a dark one lane road into the middle of the woods.... Funny story behind the casino too. The guy who started it isn't even REALLY Native American. He found out that his family had some ancient ancestors who were part of an extinct tribe, The Pequots. So he single-handily resurrected the tribe and started the casino. The best part of it is that Foxwoods has this museum dedicated to the history of the tribe, most of which is probably fabricated. Here's to fucking the system.... Hmmm, I did a bit of research and apparently this story I just told isn't exactly true. The tribe had more than one member, but not by much. In the 70s, their reservation sat on less than an acre. Seems like the guy who started Foxwood had no formal connection to the tribe, only some very distant ancestry. He found a handful of other real Pequots, and told them to run the tables. Meanwhile, he became the world's richest 1/128th Indigenous man. Something like that. Who knows the real story. Just do your own research.
HARTFORD
People are shocked to hear that Connecticut has some of this country's most rugged ghettos. I didn't believe it either. Until one night I decided to get really high, leave school and cruise the streets of Hartford. My lord. I drove around until I saw all the usual signs of a "ghetto." Pawn shops, check cashing, liquor stores, projects. The place was nearly empty. Most of the street lights were busted. It was like earthquake weather. 99% static. An old lady pushed her shopping cart slowly down the street. A few others wandered about, seemingly unsure of time or space. Completely destitute. I still find it hard to believe that Hartford had a professional sports team: The Hartford Whalers. I used to like them, mostly because they had one of the greatest logos in all of sports. Look at how the Whale's body makes the W and then underneath the spouting water you find the hidden H. They don't make logos like this anymore.
NEW HAVEN
Ah, Yale. My dad's Alma mater. Now my sister's Alma mater. Beautiful school, I won't lie. Like Hartford, New Haven is rather rough. It's a bit more Cosmopolitan, mainly because Yale has more clout than Trinity College. I will say this though, New Haven may have the best pizza in the country. Well until I found this place in Brooklyn. But it's close. They call it Apizza. It's really just regular pizza with super thin crust. This one place Pepe's is insane.
There's always a wait of about two hours. You can get the food to go though. I would call on my way back to school, usually around exit 46. No matter how many times I went, I always forgot how to get to the place. But New Haven's small. I'd find it eventually. Then I'd sit in the car and eat the whole pizza. Not alone of course. I'm a piggy, but not that much of a piggy. Wow. I need to go back. That's some serious food.
THE ICE STORM
Probably the best "Connecticut" film ever made. Come to think of it, maybe the only Connecticut movie ever made. Nah that can't be true. I'm sure there's plenty of films set in Connecticut, or at least filmed there. It's a natural location for middle-class ennui. That said, The THE ICE STORM rules. Somehow Ang Lee makes Suburban Connecticut look like rural China. This didn't hit me until I saw CROUCHING TIGER, but the similarity in aesthetic is fascinating. They just released a Criterion Collection of the film. I need to pick that up. It's based on a Rick Moody novel, which is also great, a lot better in some ways. Isn't the book always? But the film puts a different spin on it. I don't mind when a film decides to tell an alternate version of the same story, as long as there's some logic behind the decisions. In fact, it often makes a better film. The best adaptations are re-envisionings for a different medium. Okay, that's another topic.
MERRITT PARKWAY
After you see THE ICE STORM, you should do this drive. The Merritt is an alternate way to get from SW Connecticut to New York. Unlike some of Connecticut, it's actually quite gorgeous. It's a shaded road that cuts through the same forest you see in THE ICE STORM. There are are dozens of unique restored bridges. Now if there's an accident, it can make the drive VRRRRRRY slow. When a tanker truck blew a gaping hole in 95, this road became the main North to South corridor. Usually it's a fast route, and even if it's a bit slower, the scenery makes it worthwhile, especially in the Spring and Fall.
See Nutmeggers, I can give it up for your state when you deserve it. Stop you're bitching!
Half of Connecticut is really just an NYC suburb. The other half is full of country-as-shit towns (yes rural CT has plenty of hicks) and lots of mini-Detroits. There are a few high profile colleges that make the state seem a lot more refined than it actually is. I'm sure lots of Connecticans will be furious about this post. Actually "Connectican" is not a word. There's no way to make the word Connecticut into an "an" or "ite" phrase without sounding absurd. So what are people from Connecticut called? Nutmeggers. Yes. Nutmeggers. I'm Pennsylvanian, they're Nutmeggers. Sad.
Enough of this vague general bashing though.... let's get specific!
FOXWOODS
You have not seen an Indian Casino until you've seen this place. Apparently it's the biggest American casino outside of Vegas or Atlantic City. As of five years ago, it had three or four hotel towers and about thirty restaurants. I'm sure there's more now. It's a trip getting there. You exit 95 (aka I-95... or if you're from LA, you'd probably call it The 95) and go about 10 miles on a dark one lane road into the middle of the woods.... Funny story behind the casino too. The guy who started it isn't even REALLY Native American. He found out that his family had some ancient ancestors who were part of an extinct tribe, The Pequots. So he single-handily resurrected the tribe and started the casino. The best part of it is that Foxwoods has this museum dedicated to the history of the tribe, most of which is probably fabricated. Here's to fucking the system.... Hmmm, I did a bit of research and apparently this story I just told isn't exactly true. The tribe had more than one member, but not by much. In the 70s, their reservation sat on less than an acre. Seems like the guy who started Foxwood had no formal connection to the tribe, only some very distant ancestry. He found a handful of other real Pequots, and told them to run the tables. Meanwhile, he became the world's richest 1/128th Indigenous man. Something like that. Who knows the real story. Just do your own research.
HARTFORD
People are shocked to hear that Connecticut has some of this country's most rugged ghettos. I didn't believe it either. Until one night I decided to get really high, leave school and cruise the streets of Hartford. My lord. I drove around until I saw all the usual signs of a "ghetto." Pawn shops, check cashing, liquor stores, projects. The place was nearly empty. Most of the street lights were busted. It was like earthquake weather. 99% static. An old lady pushed her shopping cart slowly down the street. A few others wandered about, seemingly unsure of time or space. Completely destitute. I still find it hard to believe that Hartford had a professional sports team: The Hartford Whalers. I used to like them, mostly because they had one of the greatest logos in all of sports. Look at how the Whale's body makes the W and then underneath the spouting water you find the hidden H. They don't make logos like this anymore.
NEW HAVEN
Ah, Yale. My dad's Alma mater. Now my sister's Alma mater. Beautiful school, I won't lie. Like Hartford, New Haven is rather rough. It's a bit more Cosmopolitan, mainly because Yale has more clout than Trinity College. I will say this though, New Haven may have the best pizza in the country. Well until I found this place in Brooklyn. But it's close. They call it Apizza. It's really just regular pizza with super thin crust. This one place Pepe's is insane.
There's always a wait of about two hours. You can get the food to go though. I would call on my way back to school, usually around exit 46. No matter how many times I went, I always forgot how to get to the place. But New Haven's small. I'd find it eventually. Then I'd sit in the car and eat the whole pizza. Not alone of course. I'm a piggy, but not that much of a piggy. Wow. I need to go back. That's some serious food.
THE ICE STORM
Probably the best "Connecticut" film ever made. Come to think of it, maybe the only Connecticut movie ever made. Nah that can't be true. I'm sure there's plenty of films set in Connecticut, or at least filmed there. It's a natural location for middle-class ennui. That said, The THE ICE STORM rules. Somehow Ang Lee makes Suburban Connecticut look like rural China. This didn't hit me until I saw CROUCHING TIGER, but the similarity in aesthetic is fascinating. They just released a Criterion Collection of the film. I need to pick that up. It's based on a Rick Moody novel, which is also great, a lot better in some ways. Isn't the book always? But the film puts a different spin on it. I don't mind when a film decides to tell an alternate version of the same story, as long as there's some logic behind the decisions. In fact, it often makes a better film. The best adaptations are re-envisionings for a different medium. Okay, that's another topic.
MERRITT PARKWAY
After you see THE ICE STORM, you should do this drive. The Merritt is an alternate way to get from SW Connecticut to New York. Unlike some of Connecticut, it's actually quite gorgeous. It's a shaded road that cuts through the same forest you see in THE ICE STORM. There are are dozens of unique restored bridges. Now if there's an accident, it can make the drive VRRRRRRY slow. When a tanker truck blew a gaping hole in 95, this road became the main North to South corridor. Usually it's a fast route, and even if it's a bit slower, the scenery makes it worthwhile, especially in the Spring and Fall.
See Nutmeggers, I can give it up for your state when you deserve it. Stop you're bitching!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: MY TRAGEDY IS WORSE THAN YOURS!
Last week as the floods began to ravage Iowa City, I saw a curious quote from a city official: "This is our Katrina." Now I'm not trying to say that 32,000 homeless people isn't devastating. Those pictures of the houses against the bridge remind us if nothing else, that it's not that hard to dislodge a home. 
That said, something really drives me crazy about this comparison and all comparisons like this. Let's look at the basic facts for a second. New Orleans is a city of several hundred thousand people. Iowa City? More like 60,000. Katrina showed us that blatant classism and racism are alive and well in America. (A for the record moment... Unlike many people, I wasn't surprised by Katrina. If asked "So if a Hurricane were to hit New Orleans, do you think the Federal Government would help the Black and poor people?" I would NOT have said "Of course! This is the land of the free!" Nope)... In Katrina 1500 people died. People were stranded on their roofs, cadavers floating through the street, tripping on corpses in the NFL's largest cemetery. Iowa City on the other hand had as of press time, one fatality. Again, the lost homes and especially memories can't be replaced. This Iowa flood was/is a disaster and the effects are still being felt. My prayers go out to everyone. But that doesn't change my basic gripe. It wasn't Katrina!
Now you may argue that this comparison was never intended to be exact. Here's the danger of all that. Some people will see it as exact. Some may even go nuts, ranting about how the media covered the government's neglect of Black folks in Katrina but not the poor white folks in Iowa. In this moment of loss and desperation, people could harbor the same racist sentiments you sometimes see when white workers lose their jobs to Black workers and blame affirmative action. You don't want people saying "If we had been Black, then the media would be more outraged by the lack of help we're getting." This isn't about that. They're two separate tragedies that affected two completely different communities in unique ways. And race probably isn't even the biggest difference here. I'd go with geography. White and Black Southerners are more similar in many ways than white Louisianans and white Iowans.
This reminds me of conversations I've had, heard, read about, where the Holocaust is compared to slavery. You can't compare! The only similarity is that something bad was done to another group because of who they were. Slavery was 400 years, the Holocaust 7+. The intent of slavery wasn't to eliminate like it was with the Holocaust but the longterm mental affects on generations were greater than the Holocaust, not to mention that in 400 years, a shit load of people died.
It's like comparing brain cancer to lung cancer. They're both bad, real bad. Can't we leave it at that? Do the brain cancer patients taunt the lung cancer patients saying "you've got a 2.3% chance of living more than 5 years, we have a .1% chance! Stop saying you've got a terminal disease!" (fyi those numbers were made up).
What is the purpose of pulling all our people apart over this shit? Why can't we say "Jews had the Nazis and American Blacks had the masters, let's be friends?" That's what they'd do on Sesame Street. Damn I'd love to see how Cookie Monster and Oscar would handle the Middle Passage or the Train Rides to Auschwitz. If anyone can make genocide and systematic oppression adorable it's Snuffie, Elmo and the Henson gang!
But seriously folks, stop the one-upsmanship. Cultures and populations shouldn't have to defend this shit. Nobel is not offering a Victim Prize. There's space enough for all of us.
That said, something really drives me crazy about this comparison and all comparisons like this. Let's look at the basic facts for a second. New Orleans is a city of several hundred thousand people. Iowa City? More like 60,000. Katrina showed us that blatant classism and racism are alive and well in America. (A for the record moment... Unlike many people, I wasn't surprised by Katrina. If asked "So if a Hurricane were to hit New Orleans, do you think the Federal Government would help the Black and poor people?" I would NOT have said "Of course! This is the land of the free!" Nope)... In Katrina 1500 people died. People were stranded on their roofs, cadavers floating through the street, tripping on corpses in the NFL's largest cemetery. Iowa City on the other hand had as of press time, one fatality. Again, the lost homes and especially memories can't be replaced. This Iowa flood was/is a disaster and the effects are still being felt. My prayers go out to everyone. But that doesn't change my basic gripe. It wasn't Katrina!
Now you may argue that this comparison was never intended to be exact. Here's the danger of all that. Some people will see it as exact. Some may even go nuts, ranting about how the media covered the government's neglect of Black folks in Katrina but not the poor white folks in Iowa. In this moment of loss and desperation, people could harbor the same racist sentiments you sometimes see when white workers lose their jobs to Black workers and blame affirmative action. You don't want people saying "If we had been Black, then the media would be more outraged by the lack of help we're getting." This isn't about that. They're two separate tragedies that affected two completely different communities in unique ways. And race probably isn't even the biggest difference here. I'd go with geography. White and Black Southerners are more similar in many ways than white Louisianans and white Iowans.
This reminds me of conversations I've had, heard, read about, where the Holocaust is compared to slavery. You can't compare! The only similarity is that something bad was done to another group because of who they were. Slavery was 400 years, the Holocaust 7+. The intent of slavery wasn't to eliminate like it was with the Holocaust but the longterm mental affects on generations were greater than the Holocaust, not to mention that in 400 years, a shit load of people died.
It's like comparing brain cancer to lung cancer. They're both bad, real bad. Can't we leave it at that? Do the brain cancer patients taunt the lung cancer patients saying "you've got a 2.3% chance of living more than 5 years, we have a .1% chance! Stop saying you've got a terminal disease!" (fyi those numbers were made up).
What is the purpose of pulling all our people apart over this shit? Why can't we say "Jews had the Nazis and American Blacks had the masters, let's be friends?" That's what they'd do on Sesame Street. Damn I'd love to see how Cookie Monster and Oscar would handle the Middle Passage or the Train Rides to Auschwitz. If anyone can make genocide and systematic oppression adorable it's Snuffie, Elmo and the Henson gang!
But seriously folks, stop the one-upsmanship. Cultures and populations shouldn't have to defend this shit. Nobel is not offering a Victim Prize. There's space enough for all of us.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Music Mondays: DELUXE
Let's put aside the VINYL vs CD vs DIGITAL debate for a moment. Obviously VINYL is best, then Digital, then CD. The only thing CD has going for it is packaging. That's it (since the sound is already digital). To some (Jen) packaging's very important. And I won't lie, it's important to me too. But VINYL usually has the same packaging only larger... Wait, we said we'd put this aside. What I'm about to say transcends format. They call it the Deluxe Edition. Expanded, stereo, mono, surround, with bonus tracks, new liner notes and on and on and on. It's quite an object. A lot like sex, it can be a rip-off, a booty call, an affair to remember, a soul mate connection or a combination of all of the above.
For those who've ever seen my CD collection or who have ever talked to me about albums I'm looking forward to know, I'm a stone cold junkie for the Deluxe Edition. But to my credit, there are only certain types of Deluxe Editions that will get me to open the wallet. You see, the term "Deluxe Edition" is virtually useless, since there are so many different definitions of "deluxe." My deluxe may be your boredom. Consider them breeds of dogs or flavors of Ben and Jerry's.
There's the basic vanilla terrier-
THE CLASSIC FULLY CURATED, EXPANDED, NEARLY COMPLETE DOCUMENT MULTI-DISC REISSUE
Examples include the Deluxe Edition of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" or Otis Redding's "Otis Blue" or the one I just purchased, Elton John's S/T record. Generally these will cost you about $30, unless you know the places that sell stolen CDs, then you can get them for around $16 (no authorities, I won't tell you where... Unless you can get them for $15). The quality of these classics vary. Some (like the aforementioned Elton S/T) are pretty exhaustive. That one has a disc of 20 bonus tracks, including demos, non-album singles and live in-studio performances. Then there's the complete rip-off versions, where there's a second disc of either nearly no bonus material (like four extra songs taking up a whole disc) or inadequate bonus material. For instance, I was pretty excited to learn about the Blondie "Parallel Lines" Deluxe Edition coming out. Until I read the tracklist. For $25 you get the original 40 minutes album, a whopping total of 4 bonus tracks and a few music videos. Now that's bullshit. Clearly there were demos or something that they could've included. Maybe we'll have to wait for the Deluxe Collector's Complete Edition. No thanks. Give me a REASON to buy the album again... I'm looking at you Thriller Deluxe edition. I don't need to spend money for Will.I.Am's version of PYT.
THE "NEW CLASSIC" FULLY CURATED, blah blah
This category has an even greater chance of sucking than the one mentioned above. Mainly because the term "New Classic" is so very relative. Beck's "Odelay" or Weezer's "Blue Album" are perfectly worthy "New Classics." But Jimmy Eat World's S/T album? That's not even 10 Years old. $30 for a 7-year Anniversary edition of a pretty shitty album?
When New Classic Deluxe Editions work though, they really work. Like Matador's Pavement reissues. Holy shit. For one, they cost the same as a regular CD. Then you have huge booklets and two discs full of on average 35 bonus tracks. Now if you hate Pavement (which a lot of people do) this may sound like the sort of party favor Satan would give at his 3 year old's birthday. But for the sake of argument, imagine they're one of your favorite bands? $15 for 49 songs? Come on. Unbeatable.
THE MINI-LP EDITION
The Japanese love these things. Basically an artist's entire catalog is re-released as CDs that are exact mini replicas of the original vinyl releases. For bands with elaborate covers/vinyl packages, this is especially cool. It's like this desk that Jen has. It's a mini desk, complete with mini protractors and mini paper clips and everything. Same thing with the mini LPs. Exact replicas we're talking. Like the Pink Floyd set. When "Wish You Were Here" came out initially on LP, it arrived in a weird plastic wrapper with a little postcard included. The Mini version? Same weird plastic wrapper with an even littler postcard. Fabulous. I really want them to do a mini version of the Zeppelin albums, since Zeppelin always had gimmicky covers. Like Zeppelin III had a working kaleidoscope and In Through the Out Door changed color if you dabbed water on the cover... Mini versions of that? Holy shit... These editions usually aren't remastered and don't contain bonus tracks, unless the last proper CD version contained bonus tracks. The main downside is that the usually aren't made outside of Japan(the Pink Floyd one was American though) and cost like 20 bucks or more a disc.
THE DELUXE NEW EDITION
Sometimes bands will charge another couple dollars for a bulky version of the CD that usually won't fit in a proper CD case. Sometimes they come with toys (Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible" had a flipbook), sometimes they come with expanded liner notes or lyrics. Often they come with terrible DVDs about the making of the album. Every now and then they are actually worth the money and will include a bonus disc of acoustic demos (Okkervil River's "The Stage Names") or worthwhile music videos. There was a period of time last year where I actually fell for this marketing shit. Now I need a damn good reason to waste the money and space.
THE WE JUST RELEASED THIS LAST YEAR EDITION
This is the worst. At the dentist this morning I saw an add in People magazine for the Deluxe Edition of Fergie's Magnum Opus of Shit "The Dutchess," which just hit stores. The only purpose of this edition is to get people who bought it the first time a mere year earlier to buy virtually the same thing again, but to convince them that they are truly getting a new product. How? With an additional single, remix, and/or a few thrown together collaborations. Almost every popular artist will do this at some point. Rihanna did it. Jay-Z may've invented it. And Creed wishes they had done more of it since now people will actually commit mass-suicide rather than hear a single bar of a single Creed song. Don't fall for this musical Deja-Vu. If you could've sworn this exact album came out last year, well hell, it probably did.
THE DELUXE OUT-OF-PRINT REISSUE
This is perhaps the most exciting. An album that's never been released on CD or has been out of print for years, finally returns as a "FULLY CURATED, EXPANDED, NEARLY COMPLETE DOCUMENT MULTI-DISC REISSUE" Deluxe Edition. Dennis Wilson's "Pacific Ocean Blue," which will arrive in my mailbox on Weds is one such example. Bonus tracks, an unfinished album, more bonus tracks, all for less than the original out-of-print shitty-sounding CD edition's E-Bay price tag.
Now when CDs don't exist in a few years, many of these Deluxe Edition will suffer. In anticipation, some companies are already releasing them on vinyl and most have digital versions. Oh joy, gouging can continue! If you're a victim, the question you have to ask yourself is: "is original album, price, bonus features all worth it?" If yes, I fully support letting the record labels fuck you.
For those who've ever seen my CD collection or who have ever talked to me about albums I'm looking forward to know, I'm a stone cold junkie for the Deluxe Edition. But to my credit, there are only certain types of Deluxe Editions that will get me to open the wallet. You see, the term "Deluxe Edition" is virtually useless, since there are so many different definitions of "deluxe." My deluxe may be your boredom. Consider them breeds of dogs or flavors of Ben and Jerry's.
There's the basic vanilla terrier-
THE CLASSIC FULLY CURATED, EXPANDED, NEARLY COMPLETE DOCUMENT MULTI-DISC REISSUE
Examples include the Deluxe Edition of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" or Otis Redding's "Otis Blue" or the one I just purchased, Elton John's S/T record. Generally these will cost you about $30, unless you know the places that sell stolen CDs, then you can get them for around $16 (no authorities, I won't tell you where... Unless you can get them for $15). The quality of these classics vary. Some (like the aforementioned Elton S/T) are pretty exhaustive. That one has a disc of 20 bonus tracks, including demos, non-album singles and live in-studio performances. Then there's the complete rip-off versions, where there's a second disc of either nearly no bonus material (like four extra songs taking up a whole disc) or inadequate bonus material. For instance, I was pretty excited to learn about the Blondie "Parallel Lines" Deluxe Edition coming out. Until I read the tracklist. For $25 you get the original 40 minutes album, a whopping total of 4 bonus tracks and a few music videos. Now that's bullshit. Clearly there were demos or something that they could've included. Maybe we'll have to wait for the Deluxe Collector's Complete Edition. No thanks. Give me a REASON to buy the album again... I'm looking at you Thriller Deluxe edition. I don't need to spend money for Will.I.Am's version of PYT.
THE "NEW CLASSIC" FULLY CURATED, blah blah
This category has an even greater chance of sucking than the one mentioned above. Mainly because the term "New Classic" is so very relative. Beck's "Odelay" or Weezer's "Blue Album" are perfectly worthy "New Classics." But Jimmy Eat World's S/T album? That's not even 10 Years old. $30 for a 7-year Anniversary edition of a pretty shitty album?
When New Classic Deluxe Editions work though, they really work. Like Matador's Pavement reissues. Holy shit. For one, they cost the same as a regular CD. Then you have huge booklets and two discs full of on average 35 bonus tracks. Now if you hate Pavement (which a lot of people do) this may sound like the sort of party favor Satan would give at his 3 year old's birthday. But for the sake of argument, imagine they're one of your favorite bands? $15 for 49 songs? Come on. Unbeatable.
THE MINI-LP EDITION
The Japanese love these things. Basically an artist's entire catalog is re-released as CDs that are exact mini replicas of the original vinyl releases. For bands with elaborate covers/vinyl packages, this is especially cool. It's like this desk that Jen has. It's a mini desk, complete with mini protractors and mini paper clips and everything. Same thing with the mini LPs. Exact replicas we're talking. Like the Pink Floyd set. When "Wish You Were Here" came out initially on LP, it arrived in a weird plastic wrapper with a little postcard included. The Mini version? Same weird plastic wrapper with an even littler postcard. Fabulous. I really want them to do a mini version of the Zeppelin albums, since Zeppelin always had gimmicky covers. Like Zeppelin III had a working kaleidoscope and In Through the Out Door changed color if you dabbed water on the cover... Mini versions of that? Holy shit... These editions usually aren't remastered and don't contain bonus tracks, unless the last proper CD version contained bonus tracks. The main downside is that the usually aren't made outside of Japan(the Pink Floyd one was American though) and cost like 20 bucks or more a disc.
THE DELUXE NEW EDITION
Sometimes bands will charge another couple dollars for a bulky version of the CD that usually won't fit in a proper CD case. Sometimes they come with toys (Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible" had a flipbook), sometimes they come with expanded liner notes or lyrics. Often they come with terrible DVDs about the making of the album. Every now and then they are actually worth the money and will include a bonus disc of acoustic demos (Okkervil River's "The Stage Names") or worthwhile music videos. There was a period of time last year where I actually fell for this marketing shit. Now I need a damn good reason to waste the money and space.
THE WE JUST RELEASED THIS LAST YEAR EDITION
This is the worst. At the dentist this morning I saw an add in People magazine for the Deluxe Edition of Fergie's Magnum Opus of Shit "The Dutchess," which just hit stores. The only purpose of this edition is to get people who bought it the first time a mere year earlier to buy virtually the same thing again, but to convince them that they are truly getting a new product. How? With an additional single, remix, and/or a few thrown together collaborations. Almost every popular artist will do this at some point. Rihanna did it. Jay-Z may've invented it. And Creed wishes they had done more of it since now people will actually commit mass-suicide rather than hear a single bar of a single Creed song. Don't fall for this musical Deja-Vu. If you could've sworn this exact album came out last year, well hell, it probably did.
THE DELUXE OUT-OF-PRINT REISSUE
This is perhaps the most exciting. An album that's never been released on CD or has been out of print for years, finally returns as a "FULLY CURATED, EXPANDED, NEARLY COMPLETE DOCUMENT MULTI-DISC REISSUE" Deluxe Edition. Dennis Wilson's "Pacific Ocean Blue," which will arrive in my mailbox on Weds is one such example. Bonus tracks, an unfinished album, more bonus tracks, all for less than the original out-of-print shitty-sounding CD edition's E-Bay price tag.
Now when CDs don't exist in a few years, many of these Deluxe Edition will suffer. In anticipation, some companies are already releasing them on vinyl and most have digital versions. Oh joy, gouging can continue! If you're a victim, the question you have to ask yourself is: "is original album, price, bonus features all worth it?" If yes, I fully support letting the record labels fuck you.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Friendly Fridays: Huggie Returns!
And now an old friend returns. You may remember him as Hugs or Huggie or perhaps Hugs Smith. Call him what you want but here are the facts... he's cute and he's terribly misbehaved. What some folks refer to as "bad bear." See this little adorable monster in action!
And then search for Hugstheowl@gmail.com on Facebook!
And then search for Hugstheowl@gmail.com on Facebook!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: FACE RECOGNITION
I'm going to reach deep inside today, past the brain stem, below the medulla, underneath the soul. Today you will learn more about me than you ever thought you'd know. Don't worry, I won't waste time telling you about a brutal childhood. I won't claim that my girlfriend beats me (which by the way... is true... those bruises aren't me falling down because I'm clumsy. A softball didn't hit my thigh last week. She beat me. With a bat. An aluminum bat. And a tennis racket. And an ancient wooden crossbow. Actually she shot me with the crossbow. Why? Because I left my socks on the ground. THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP). I shall waste time for sure, but not on these matters. Today we will talk about one of my greatest deficiencies.... My lack of facial recognition.
It sounds funny. Alex can't assemble a nose, two eyes, and a mouth into a meaningful whole. But let me tell you, it's torture. Especially since Jen has INCREDIBLE facial recognition (Jermaine from FOC in New Zealand anyone?)
Yeah it's bad. Almost every day I meet people at work... or I think I meet people at work. I say "hey man, so great to finally meet you," to which they usually reply "met you last year."
In LA, it's especially fun. All my east coast friends ask me if I've seen the stars. I always shrug and say "maybe? I'm not really sure."
Jessica Alba in The Griddle a couple weeks back? Would've had no idea if Jen didn't tell me. Do you know how many opportunities I've probably missed out on? I could have an Oscar now, if only I realized that Scott Rudin was sitting next to me on the plane... Well maybe it wasn't Scott Rudin. He probably wouldn't be flying coach or Southwest... Bad example.
Just how bad? One time I went to check the mail in my apartment and this woman was opening my mailbox. I said "Excuse me. But I think that's my mailbox." She said "Alex. It's Jen. Your girlfriend." "Ah yes of course."
... I sometimes think someone's broken into our house. I grab a crowbar and am about to swing away... when "Alex. It's Jen! Don't you recognize me?!" Sorry in advance, Jen...
But seriously, my favorite Brian Wilson story ever goes a little something like this. After a concert Brian sees two adoring fans coming his way. "Hey there fans, I'm Brian Wilson," he says
"We know, we're your children."
Now that one IS true.
Enough story hour... This is a major major problem. I sometimes worry that it's a precursor to Alzheimer's. What a terrible thought. I stopped using all aluminum foil just in case. They say aluminum can cause the disease and while much scientific evidence tells a different story, given my early probable symptoms, I should play it safe... And it's not just faces. I forget nearly everything. The other day I lost my cell phone. I have no idea where. I looked up my bill and there were all these calls to Chicago that I didn't make. Knowing me I probably gave my phone to a homeless man and forgot all about it.
People think "spacey" is funny. It is. It's hilarious watching people walk in circles, falling asleep in meetings, forgetting where they parked for three hours ... if it's someone else. If it's you. Less hilarious, more awful. Sure, hilarious years down the road. But as I've implied extensively, spaciness usually gets worse.
Please please please let me keep my mind... Unless the symptoms convince me I'm a billionaire living atop an endless stack of fried chicken, lasagna, macaroni/cheese and coffee ice cream. That I could get used to.
It sounds funny. Alex can't assemble a nose, two eyes, and a mouth into a meaningful whole. But let me tell you, it's torture. Especially since Jen has INCREDIBLE facial recognition (Jermaine from FOC in New Zealand anyone?)
Yeah it's bad. Almost every day I meet people at work... or I think I meet people at work. I say "hey man, so great to finally meet you," to which they usually reply "met you last year."
In LA, it's especially fun. All my east coast friends ask me if I've seen the stars. I always shrug and say "maybe? I'm not really sure."
Jessica Alba in The Griddle a couple weeks back? Would've had no idea if Jen didn't tell me. Do you know how many opportunities I've probably missed out on? I could have an Oscar now, if only I realized that Scott Rudin was sitting next to me on the plane... Well maybe it wasn't Scott Rudin. He probably wouldn't be flying coach or Southwest... Bad example.
Just how bad? One time I went to check the mail in my apartment and this woman was opening my mailbox. I said "Excuse me. But I think that's my mailbox." She said "Alex. It's Jen. Your girlfriend." "Ah yes of course."
... I sometimes think someone's broken into our house. I grab a crowbar and am about to swing away... when "Alex. It's Jen! Don't you recognize me?!" Sorry in advance, Jen...
But seriously, my favorite Brian Wilson story ever goes a little something like this. After a concert Brian sees two adoring fans coming his way. "Hey there fans, I'm Brian Wilson," he says
"We know, we're your children."
Now that one IS true.
Enough story hour... This is a major major problem. I sometimes worry that it's a precursor to Alzheimer's. What a terrible thought. I stopped using all aluminum foil just in case. They say aluminum can cause the disease and while much scientific evidence tells a different story, given my early probable symptoms, I should play it safe... And it's not just faces. I forget nearly everything. The other day I lost my cell phone. I have no idea where. I looked up my bill and there were all these calls to Chicago that I didn't make. Knowing me I probably gave my phone to a homeless man and forgot all about it.
People think "spacey" is funny. It is. It's hilarious watching people walk in circles, falling asleep in meetings, forgetting where they parked for three hours ... if it's someone else. If it's you. Less hilarious, more awful. Sure, hilarious years down the road. But as I've implied extensively, spaciness usually gets worse.
Please please please let me keep my mind... Unless the symptoms convince me I'm a billionaire living atop an endless stack of fried chicken, lasagna, macaroni/cheese and coffee ice cream. That I could get used to.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: PICTURES FROM THE PAST
I finally have some old photos to show you! Not every picture I've ever taken, but some. I believe I lost a bunch of photos somewhere between transferring them from my 19th-Century digital camera to my early 20th-century laptop to my modern computer machine. Alabama and Arkansas are nowhere to be found. Probably because that was a separate road trip. Tonight I'll pull out my old computer, hook it up to its hamster powered energy system, wait two hours for it to start, another hour until it's ready to browse, then a few more hours of actual browsing and maybe then, I'll have one or two AK and AL pictures for next week. Wait, AK is Arkansas, right? And AL is Alabama? Hmmm... AK is Alaska. Arkansas is AR.
Now let's see the pictures I do have... At least a sampling.
ALABAMA- Can't find the pictures of the dirty chickens!
ALASKA- NEVER BEEN! (One of the two)
ARIZONA
I definitely have some more pictures of places like the Grand Canyon and the Petrified Forest. Where they are? Got me. Maybe I'll also find these on the antique computer tonight.
Here's a shot of the "cactus villages" of Saguaro National Park near Tuscon
ARKANSAS (can't find either!!!)
CALIFORNIA
Working from the north...
Ha, got no pictures of country ass NoCal...
What about MidCal? Here's a few:
Yosemite... See, it looks crazy in pictures... But pictures give you only a single sense: Sight. And not even full sight. Manufactured sight... You can't smell the trash in the picture.
Then there's the lovely King's Canyon. Part meadow/part snowcapped mountained/part rocky ditch...all gorgeous
And King's Canyon's other more famous half... THE SEQUOIA MONSTER!
Then there's the California cost. I have tons of pictures of one of America's top 4 drives (the other three? you'll have to wait and see!). This is the highlight. The famous Bixby bridge in Big Sur. Jen and I went last year and it was great, but foggy. THIS is the ideal weather for this landscape... although the fog had a creepy almost equally suiting aethetic to it
SoCal
Next we have Death Valley... a place Brian hated! How can you hate the devil's golf course? This isn't just the "bad man's golf course." It's the devil! You know, like where the actual devil plays golf when he's not terrifying villages. You may think it's some cute name, but no. I saw him! And honestly, I thought the devil would have flashier clubs. These things were dated Jack Nicklaus in his prime type relics.
Here's another Death Valley shot, taken at sunrise. Sunrise Temperature? About 110... Remember it got to 130 that day, so in comparison 110's pretty breezy.
Finally, here's Death Valley's artist palette. Look at that. Just look at that. The craggly desert embellished with pastel bursts. How can you not like that, Brian!? AHHH. GO PHILLIES! BOO CUBS! Sorry... that was out of line.
And Joshua Tree... a place Brian actually does love! Even if bees almost stung Alex to death there... This picture was taken from my car because I was too afraid of the bees.
And remember that skull rock I mentioned? The place where the kid disappeared? The place where they searched for his body? The place where they found his limp lifeless body eaten by desert vultures? Shit's creepy man.
COLORADO
Another state where I can only locate a smidgen of the photos (here's a tangent, I thought smidgen was spelled like pigeon. Then spellcheck corrected me. I like smigeon better). Here's the ancient cliff dwelling, Mesa Verde. I just read that they're going to film Mesa Verde in high-def so you can visit it online. Cool, right? Well not quite. They're doing this because they're afraid that it might not exist soon due to its age, natural disasters and so on. I can understand visiting a place online to enhance the overall experience. But an online tour because the place no longer exists? That's some Dodo bird type depression there.
And the Black Canyon of the Gunnison... See, it is pretty damn vaginal.
And a Middle Eastern enclave... oops I mean the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado... Tricky sight, right?
And finally, a shot of Rocky Mountain National Park... Doesn't look that great, I admit. It's cool, but mostly seems cooler because the 12,500 ft. altitude of the drive plays with your mind and sometimes causes you to see swirling smiling mountain peaks that don't exist.
There's the photos. Next week we'll be back to regular programming with a suspenseful portrayal of Connecticut!
Now let's see the pictures I do have... At least a sampling.
ALABAMA- Can't find the pictures of the dirty chickens!
ALASKA- NEVER BEEN! (One of the two)
ARIZONA
I definitely have some more pictures of places like the Grand Canyon and the Petrified Forest. Where they are? Got me. Maybe I'll also find these on the antique computer tonight.
Here's a shot of the "cactus villages" of Saguaro National Park near Tuscon
ARKANSAS (can't find either!!!)
CALIFORNIA
Working from the north...
Ha, got no pictures of country ass NoCal...
What about MidCal? Here's a few:
Yosemite... See, it looks crazy in pictures... But pictures give you only a single sense: Sight. And not even full sight. Manufactured sight... You can't smell the trash in the picture.
Then there's the lovely King's Canyon. Part meadow/part snowcapped mountained/part rocky ditch...all gorgeous
And King's Canyon's other more famous half... THE SEQUOIA MONSTER!
Then there's the California cost. I have tons of pictures of one of America's top 4 drives (the other three? you'll have to wait and see!). This is the highlight. The famous Bixby bridge in Big Sur. Jen and I went last year and it was great, but foggy. THIS is the ideal weather for this landscape... although the fog had a creepy almost equally suiting aethetic to it
SoCal
Next we have Death Valley... a place Brian hated! How can you hate the devil's golf course? This isn't just the "bad man's golf course." It's the devil! You know, like where the actual devil plays golf when he's not terrifying villages. You may think it's some cute name, but no. I saw him! And honestly, I thought the devil would have flashier clubs. These things were dated Jack Nicklaus in his prime type relics.
Here's another Death Valley shot, taken at sunrise. Sunrise Temperature? About 110... Remember it got to 130 that day, so in comparison 110's pretty breezy.
Finally, here's Death Valley's artist palette. Look at that. Just look at that. The craggly desert embellished with pastel bursts. How can you not like that, Brian!? AHHH. GO PHILLIES! BOO CUBS! Sorry... that was out of line.
And Joshua Tree... a place Brian actually does love! Even if bees almost stung Alex to death there... This picture was taken from my car because I was too afraid of the bees.
And remember that skull rock I mentioned? The place where the kid disappeared? The place where they searched for his body? The place where they found his limp lifeless body eaten by desert vultures? Shit's creepy man.
COLORADO
Another state where I can only locate a smidgen of the photos (here's a tangent, I thought smidgen was spelled like pigeon. Then spellcheck corrected me. I like smigeon better). Here's the ancient cliff dwelling, Mesa Verde. I just read that they're going to film Mesa Verde in high-def so you can visit it online. Cool, right? Well not quite. They're doing this because they're afraid that it might not exist soon due to its age, natural disasters and so on. I can understand visiting a place online to enhance the overall experience. But an online tour because the place no longer exists? That's some Dodo bird type depression there.
And the Black Canyon of the Gunnison... See, it is pretty damn vaginal.
And a Middle Eastern enclave... oops I mean the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado... Tricky sight, right?
And finally, a shot of Rocky Mountain National Park... Doesn't look that great, I admit. It's cool, but mostly seems cooler because the 12,500 ft. altitude of the drive plays with your mind and sometimes causes you to see swirling smiling mountain peaks that don't exist.
There's the photos. Next week we'll be back to regular programming with a suspenseful portrayal of Connecticut!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: MCCAIN SENILITY WATCH
McCain's old, but according to thousands of pages of medical records at least, other than a bit o' skin cancer, the man's pretty healthy. I'm starting to wonder about his mind though. Seems like he's been confusing a few things recently. First Sunnis and Shiites. Then the troops in Iraq. Now this.
At least we know McCain will get Utah. He must have potential VP Mitt Romney on the brain.
Other fun in the news? The GOP blocks Gas Company profit tax. Yes, this means while we pay 50 bucks to fill our tanks, the rich get richer. Where's Robin Hood when you need him? He's probably pissed that Kevin Costner played him then tarnished the R. Hood brand by playing The Postman a few years later. Thanks Kevin. Look at the mess we're in now.
And now a random thought I had while doing today's NY Times Crossword Puzzle at lunch. The internet has really revolutionized symbols. No I don't mean emoticons. I'm talking symbols that have been here forever but had become almost obsolete. You know, the underscores of the world. The forward slash. The back slash. But seriously, the award for all-time comeback symbol goes to..... THE AT SIGN! @ You know it well now. But before 1993? Not so much. This is a massive comeback. Bigger than Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Bigger than the BeeGees and disco. Bigger than OJ in Vegas. This shit is huge!
When they create the next internet-sized invention, what do you think will make its comeback? Maybe ^? Or perhaps { ? Only time will tell.
At least we know McCain will get Utah. He must have potential VP Mitt Romney on the brain.
Other fun in the news? The GOP blocks Gas Company profit tax. Yes, this means while we pay 50 bucks to fill our tanks, the rich get richer. Where's Robin Hood when you need him? He's probably pissed that Kevin Costner played him then tarnished the R. Hood brand by playing The Postman a few years later. Thanks Kevin. Look at the mess we're in now.
And now a random thought I had while doing today's NY Times Crossword Puzzle at lunch. The internet has really revolutionized symbols. No I don't mean emoticons. I'm talking symbols that have been here forever but had become almost obsolete. You know, the underscores of the world. The forward slash. The back slash. But seriously, the award for all-time comeback symbol goes to..... THE AT SIGN! @ You know it well now. But before 1993? Not so much. This is a massive comeback. Bigger than Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Bigger than the BeeGees and disco. Bigger than OJ in Vegas. This shit is huge!
When they create the next internet-sized invention, what do you think will make its comeback? Maybe ^? Or perhaps { ? Only time will tell.
Monday, June 9, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: TO OPEN OR NOT TO OPEN
If you've ever met me or heard about me from a friend, you probably know that I'm addicted to vinyl. No this doesn't mean that I inject liquid vinyl into my arms as a way to get high. Nope. This isn't a reference to mod couches either. It's Music Mondays, not Furniture Fridays.
Yep, I love me some records. Whether it's going to Amoeba five times a week and looking at the same sections, driving 100 miles for a "record tour" of some small town's shops, praying that some senile woman gave a rare record to Goodwill, or searching eBay all day: records are very important to me.
Unlike some collectors, I'd say I have a dual interest when it comes to records. I want to collect rare and valuable records but I also want to enjoy the records. Some collectors will collect from any artist, no matter if they like the music or not. That's pointless. I have a real job. I don't need excuses to make my addiction worse. It's bad enough having a constant "wish list" of 10 or so records. I don't need that list to expand to 30,000 records of artists I've never heard...
Other collectors will never listen to their rare records. I get that. Every time a record's played, the condition goes down a wee bit. The more the condition goes down, the more the record's "Grade" goes down. The more the grade goes down, the less it's worth. But I simply don't have the discipline for that. I want to hear my music.
So before I get into how "hearing music" relates to a dilemma I have with a recently acquired record, let me tell you about the record (LP) grading system in general.
Keep in mind that most people lie about the ratings. They'll inflate it so you'll give them more money. Usually the inflation's minor, but not always. I've seen records that are rated Mint that have pretty large scratches on them. You actually see people deflate ratings now because buyers in the past have been so furious about being ripped off that some dealers don't want to risk their lives or businesses. What makes ratings most confusing is that the categories are insanely misleading. A "Good" record is actually pretty damn fucked up...
So let's start from the top
Mint: A mint record doesn't exist. In theory a mint record is unplayed. But even if you get a sealed record, there's a chance it's been tested at the record facility, which would technically make it played. Pretty much unless you make the record yourself, there's no true mint record in the world.
NM (Near mint) aka M- (Mint Minus): This is what most regular sane people would consider mint. A record of this category is perfect. No scratches. No creases in the cover. Shiny. Probably been played once. A lot of dealers won't even use this category.
VG+ (Very good plus): This is the most common category. Everyone wants to call their records very good plus. A very good plus record may have some light scratches but is mostly perfect. Well actually that describe a VG++ record. A VG+ is a wee bit below that but not as scuffed up as:
VG (Very good): Now you're starting to get kinda bad. A VG record has rather noticeable scratches. In quiet passages you can even hear crackle. Despite what people of my 20-something generation may think, a record is not supposed to sound like crackling wood. We may have fond childhood memories of cozying up to a record player as it crackles. That's nice. But it's not the sound you're really looking for in a record. The reason we associate it with how "how records sound" is because our parents had most of these records for 10-20 years before we heard them. You ever look at your parent's records? They're probably scratched more than the owner of catnip hopped-up baby kitten.
G (Good): Not good at all. Scratches, pockmarks, divots all over the place. It won't skip though. It'll just be a noisy experience.
P (Poor): This is a shit record. Cracked, mangled. So horrible you may as well use it for something else.
Stupid e-Bay fucks like to get creative and add pluses and minuses all over the place. VG++ is somewhat accepted now. But G++-+--? No. VG+++++++++++++. No. G/VG? No, unless the G is referring to the record and the VG is referring to the cover.
But perhaps the most controversial rating of all and the reason for my very dilemma.... SS. STILL SEALED. A record sealed in unopened shrink wrap from the 70s or before is as close to mint as you can get. It should never be opened because the fact that it's remained sealed for this long is a miracle. Only problem is that it's really fucking easy to reseal a record.
Take my current record that arrived: Junie Morrison's "Suzie Supergroupie," a great overlooked 70's funk gem from one of the main creative forces of the early Ohio Players and later an integral part of the Parliament/Funkadelic machine. It's rare. Not insanely rare. But rare. And it's sealed. I have no idea if I should open it. I want to listen to it. I really do. But I don't want to ruin the prized SS rating. Unless it's not a true SS. What should I believe? Let's look at my evidence...I got this record from Amazon marketplace. When reading former buyer's reviews of the seller, someone wrote
"This person rewraps things and passes them off as new."
Also, the wrapping doesn't look 30 years old...
Hmm.... I think it's been re-wrapped.... I think I need to open it...
If I find a scratch on this fucking record. Oh shit there will be hell to pay. Hell of the worst most demonic satanic pitchfork cloven-foot horned sulfur-reeking kind possible...
Okay... here goes the opening...
I opened it... I think it's mint. This may've been a real sealed record. I've ruined everything. I'm miserable... There are no scratches on this at all!!! None. There are a couple little marks though. Not scratches but smudges maybe.. So maybe it was resealed. Maybe. Ahhhh!!! I'm going to listen to it tonight. Once. That's it. Oh shit I'm becoming like a lame collector. I'll listen to it more than once. But not often. Sparingly.... This is sad. I just opened a real live SS record... No no no I didn't. I had a smudge or something. Not a scratch but what looked like a worn mark. Like it's been played. Or it's just been sitting around for 30 years. I DON'T KNOW!!!!! WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT THE SYSTEM! Hmm... at the very least I have a rare true NM record. I should be happy... Sigh.
(Not my actual record... Please not that the person on the cover is not Junie, but a model that Junie hired to play the role of "Suzie" the Supergroupie.)
Yep, I love me some records. Whether it's going to Amoeba five times a week and looking at the same sections, driving 100 miles for a "record tour" of some small town's shops, praying that some senile woman gave a rare record to Goodwill, or searching eBay all day: records are very important to me.
Unlike some collectors, I'd say I have a dual interest when it comes to records. I want to collect rare and valuable records but I also want to enjoy the records. Some collectors will collect from any artist, no matter if they like the music or not. That's pointless. I have a real job. I don't need excuses to make my addiction worse. It's bad enough having a constant "wish list" of 10 or so records. I don't need that list to expand to 30,000 records of artists I've never heard...
Other collectors will never listen to their rare records. I get that. Every time a record's played, the condition goes down a wee bit. The more the condition goes down, the more the record's "Grade" goes down. The more the grade goes down, the less it's worth. But I simply don't have the discipline for that. I want to hear my music.
So before I get into how "hearing music" relates to a dilemma I have with a recently acquired record, let me tell you about the record (LP) grading system in general.
Keep in mind that most people lie about the ratings. They'll inflate it so you'll give them more money. Usually the inflation's minor, but not always. I've seen records that are rated Mint that have pretty large scratches on them. You actually see people deflate ratings now because buyers in the past have been so furious about being ripped off that some dealers don't want to risk their lives or businesses. What makes ratings most confusing is that the categories are insanely misleading. A "Good" record is actually pretty damn fucked up...
So let's start from the top
Mint: A mint record doesn't exist. In theory a mint record is unplayed. But even if you get a sealed record, there's a chance it's been tested at the record facility, which would technically make it played. Pretty much unless you make the record yourself, there's no true mint record in the world.
NM (Near mint) aka M- (Mint Minus): This is what most regular sane people would consider mint. A record of this category is perfect. No scratches. No creases in the cover. Shiny. Probably been played once. A lot of dealers won't even use this category.
VG+ (Very good plus): This is the most common category. Everyone wants to call their records very good plus. A very good plus record may have some light scratches but is mostly perfect. Well actually that describe a VG++ record. A VG+ is a wee bit below that but not as scuffed up as:
VG (Very good): Now you're starting to get kinda bad. A VG record has rather noticeable scratches. In quiet passages you can even hear crackle. Despite what people of my 20-something generation may think, a record is not supposed to sound like crackling wood. We may have fond childhood memories of cozying up to a record player as it crackles. That's nice. But it's not the sound you're really looking for in a record. The reason we associate it with how "how records sound" is because our parents had most of these records for 10-20 years before we heard them. You ever look at your parent's records? They're probably scratched more than the owner of catnip hopped-up baby kitten.
G (Good): Not good at all. Scratches, pockmarks, divots all over the place. It won't skip though. It'll just be a noisy experience.
P (Poor): This is a shit record. Cracked, mangled. So horrible you may as well use it for something else.
Stupid e-Bay fucks like to get creative and add pluses and minuses all over the place. VG++ is somewhat accepted now. But G++-+--? No. VG+++++++++++++. No. G/VG? No, unless the G is referring to the record and the VG is referring to the cover.
But perhaps the most controversial rating of all and the reason for my very dilemma.... SS. STILL SEALED. A record sealed in unopened shrink wrap from the 70s or before is as close to mint as you can get. It should never be opened because the fact that it's remained sealed for this long is a miracle. Only problem is that it's really fucking easy to reseal a record.
Take my current record that arrived: Junie Morrison's "Suzie Supergroupie," a great overlooked 70's funk gem from one of the main creative forces of the early Ohio Players and later an integral part of the Parliament/Funkadelic machine. It's rare. Not insanely rare. But rare. And it's sealed. I have no idea if I should open it. I want to listen to it. I really do. But I don't want to ruin the prized SS rating. Unless it's not a true SS. What should I believe? Let's look at my evidence...I got this record from Amazon marketplace. When reading former buyer's reviews of the seller, someone wrote
"This person rewraps things and passes them off as new."
Also, the wrapping doesn't look 30 years old...
Hmm.... I think it's been re-wrapped.... I think I need to open it...
If I find a scratch on this fucking record. Oh shit there will be hell to pay. Hell of the worst most demonic satanic pitchfork cloven-foot horned sulfur-reeking kind possible...
Okay... here goes the opening...
I opened it... I think it's mint. This may've been a real sealed record. I've ruined everything. I'm miserable... There are no scratches on this at all!!! None. There are a couple little marks though. Not scratches but smudges maybe.. So maybe it was resealed. Maybe. Ahhhh!!! I'm going to listen to it tonight. Once. That's it. Oh shit I'm becoming like a lame collector. I'll listen to it more than once. But not often. Sparingly.... This is sad. I just opened a real live SS record... No no no I didn't. I had a smudge or something. Not a scratch but what looked like a worn mark. Like it's been played. Or it's just been sitting around for 30 years. I DON'T KNOW!!!!! WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT THE SYSTEM! Hmm... at the very least I have a rare true NM record. I should be happy... Sigh.
(Not my actual record... Please not that the person on the cover is not Junie, but a model that Junie hired to play the role of "Suzie" the Supergroupie.)
Friday, June 6, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: ANOTHER ADORABLE BABY
You may remember that a few weeks ago I posted a picture of some adorable baby beavers. Well I've got something to top that. It's a baby hedgehog! This is a little creature that nearly falls into a category I like to call "Uggum," which is a relative of the word "Huggum." "Huggum" as the name suggests, means something or someone who is huggable. "Uggum" on the other hand is something that's cute and ugly at the same time. A pug for instance is a very "uggum" breed of dog. This wee hedgehog is somewhere between "uggum" and "huggum." It has an ugly scrunched up face but the whole package is quite affecting.
Speaking of Huggum, I wanted to show you all a picture of Hugs (aka Huggie) and my other pet owls Baby Owl and Gumball, but for some reason I have no pictures on this computer. I have a ton at home though. I need to get all these pictures on a flash drive so I don't have to rely on other people's stock google image photos all the time. That'll be my weekend task. In the meantime enjoy this classic Huggie video. I'll be making a new video this weekend for the first time in over a year!
Check out YouTube viewer comments too. Many people think I'm insane. Other think that the owls are my only friends. But some realize that this is enjoyable and these owls are cute. My favorite is the last comment "what are you on and where can I get some." To answer this question...I'm on a powerful class of drugs. A little something called "imagination." And you can't go to your average dealer and get this shit. You need to be born with it. So the closest you can come to " getting some" is finding a mate who has it and hoping that his/her genes pass on to your child. Then you can live vicariously through your baby. Until then, you can live vicariously through me. I don't mind.
Speaking of Huggum, I wanted to show you all a picture of Hugs (aka Huggie) and my other pet owls Baby Owl and Gumball, but for some reason I have no pictures on this computer. I have a ton at home though. I need to get all these pictures on a flash drive so I don't have to rely on other people's stock google image photos all the time. That'll be my weekend task. In the meantime enjoy this classic Huggie video. I'll be making a new video this weekend for the first time in over a year!
Check out YouTube viewer comments too. Many people think I'm insane. Other think that the owls are my only friends. But some realize that this is enjoyable and these owls are cute. My favorite is the last comment "what are you on and where can I get some." To answer this question...I'm on a powerful class of drugs. A little something called "imagination." And you can't go to your average dealer and get this shit. You need to be born with it. So the closest you can come to " getting some" is finding a mate who has it and hoping that his/her genes pass on to your child. Then you can live vicariously through your baby. Until then, you can live vicariously through me. I don't mind.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: HOW TO BEAT MCCAIN
This isn't a political blog. It never will be. But let's face it, politics are on people's minds right now. So I'll chime in more often than usual.
Now that the general election has begun, we'll see a lot more national polls. Looking at the numbers now, it's a dead-heat. But if Obama follows my advice, he'll have the presidency sewed up in no time.
Word on the street is that McCain has an awful temper. Hey I'd probably have a bad temper too if I were kept prisoner for five years (including two in solitary confinement), tortured, spat on, and the like. Here's the simple equation.
Step 1: ACCEPT
Yesterday McCain challenged Obama to 10 (TEN!) informal town hall debates. Say yes without a doubt.
Step 2: TALK WITH OTHER OLD SENATORS
Have a little chat with Democrats who knows McCain best.
Step 3: GET A CRACK TEAM OF SHRINKS
Feed that information to a team of the best liberal psychiatrists around.
MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND VOILA!
You've got a list of ways, phrases, and intonations that'll push McCain's explosion buttons during these debates.
After a few temper tantrums, the American people will see that although this is a brave, courageous national hero, he may not have the sort of sane demeanor needed to lead a country that has a stockpile of nearly 10,000 nuclear weapons. Here's a man that says he'll use the term "Gook" till the day he dies. I'm 100% sure that if I went through what he went through, I'd have the same attitude. But if someone's had a life experience so strong that it's unequivocally cemented his hatred for another group of people, perhaps it's cemented a lot of other things too. After eight years of dealing with an ex-alcoholic who can only see the world in Black/White, Evil/Bad, Saint/Sinner, maybe it's time for someone who's little less rigid in his viewpoints.
Now that the general election has begun, we'll see a lot more national polls. Looking at the numbers now, it's a dead-heat. But if Obama follows my advice, he'll have the presidency sewed up in no time.
Word on the street is that McCain has an awful temper. Hey I'd probably have a bad temper too if I were kept prisoner for five years (including two in solitary confinement), tortured, spat on, and the like. Here's the simple equation.
Step 1: ACCEPT
Yesterday McCain challenged Obama to 10 (TEN!) informal town hall debates. Say yes without a doubt.
Step 2: TALK WITH OTHER OLD SENATORS
Have a little chat with Democrats who knows McCain best.
Step 3: GET A CRACK TEAM OF SHRINKS
Feed that information to a team of the best liberal psychiatrists around.
MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND VOILA!
You've got a list of ways, phrases, and intonations that'll push McCain's explosion buttons during these debates.
After a few temper tantrums, the American people will see that although this is a brave, courageous national hero, he may not have the sort of sane demeanor needed to lead a country that has a stockpile of nearly 10,000 nuclear weapons. Here's a man that says he'll use the term "Gook" till the day he dies. I'm 100% sure that if I went through what he went through, I'd have the same attitude. But if someone's had a life experience so strong that it's unequivocally cemented his hatred for another group of people, perhaps it's cemented a lot of other things too. After eight years of dealing with an ex-alcoholic who can only see the world in Black/White, Evil/Bad, Saint/Sinner, maybe it's time for someone who's little less rigid in his viewpoints.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Wagonwheel Wednesdays: COLORADO!
Well I've been to Colorado many times and have seen a good portion of the state. Been there in the summer, the winter and the spring. So probably the best way to give you the lowdown is a Top 10, in absolutely no particular order.
1. Durango
Not much to say. Southern Colorado. Nice town. Picturesque. A decent music shop if I remember. A good place to stop for lunch.
2. Aspen/Snowmass
If you like to snowboard or ski, this is THE place. Some say it's even better than the Alps. As a town, Aspen is a good place to see a star or two in a different setting than dirty LA. My family used to go literally every spring to ski. I've been in the summer once too... gorgeous.
3. Telluride/Horse Riding
Another great ski town. I've only been in the summer. That's great too. I spent a week at a ranch and I rode horsies around. My horse's name was Blaze. Very fitting since I soon became a huge pothead. This was also the summer where I really started getting into funk. I made copies of some Funkadelic and Parliament albums for one of the dudes who worked at the ranch. In return he gave me some roast beef and beers. How nice. I had like 4 beers in a trash bag, sneaking them into my room as they clanged together. I gulped them down and got on my horsie and road a few hours. Not sure if there are laws against Drinking and Galloping.
4. Black Canyon of the Gunnison
There are the national parks we've all heard of. The Grand Canyons, the Yellowstones and what not. And then there are the hidden gems. Gunnison is a hidden gem. My ex-girlfriend would refer to it as Black Canyon of the Cunt-ison (fyi feminists, I hate that word too. Just repeating a quote. Please let me keep my balls. Thanks). The name is somewhat fitting since this is an extremely deep canyon that's not particularly wide. It's jagged and jet black. I hiked around and am pretty sure I heard a big cat of some kind in the bushes licking his lips ready to snack on some Jew. I got out in time though.
5. Rocky Mountain National Park
I believe this is the country's highest national park. It's nice because it's pretty close to Denver and Boulder. I'm sure there's plenty of real hikes to do, but the main attraction is the drive which cuts through the mountains ascending something like 12 or 13 thousand feet. It's epic. Unlike some other national park drives at VERY high heights, this one never feels unsafe. There aren't as many opportunities to plunge four thousand feet as on some other drives.
6. Mesa Verde National Park
This is an old Pueblo (I believe it's Pueblo) settlement built into the side of a mountain. It's pretty wild. Like Hot Springs National Park, this could probably fall into the National Historic Park category. There is more natural beauty here than Hot Spring though. And since these dwelling are literally carved into the rocks, it's both man-made and natural.
7. Great Sand Dunes
Speaking of a hidden gem. This park is unlike any other in the country. In Southern Colorado at the foot of the Rocky Mountains lies the country's tallest set of sand dunes. Some dunes reach 800 feet or so. You can spend hours climbing up and down these things. Rolling from top to bottom and playing away. If you just focus on the sand, you'd think you were in the Arabian Desert. It's so fucking cool. Initially all the sand came from the bank deposits of the Rio Grande. It just built and built. First a sand bump, then a sand hill, now sand mountains. I'm going to find my old pictures to give you a closer look, but here's one a professional took just so you get the idea.
When I went it was a National Monument. Now it has official National Park status. I must go back.
8. Grand Junction
Not really much of a place, but I have to give it its due because after my alternator nearly died in Utah, this is where I went to get it fixed. It was a miracle that they had the part, because Western CO isn't exactly Volvo country. Just so happened that the owner of the auto shop had a Volvo and kept a spare alternator on hand for himself.
9. Denver
A pretty sprawling city, but with enough of an urban center. Lots of homeless people. Still better than I expected. But not a top 10 American City.
10. Flight from LAX to Eagle, CO
PURE HORROR. I hate to fly. Hate it. I'd rather take the extra 28 hours and drive if given the choice. But after years of refusing to fly, I now actually do it as long as I'm drugged up enough... I'll tell you what I won't ever do though. Fly from LA to Eagle. You know your flight won't be fun when the pilot warns you about turbulence before take off. The first hour was fine. Then it hit. The plane nearly went upside I think. The stewardesses were running back and worth terrified. The pilot told them to prepare for landing! And we still had over an hour left!! I thought we were going in for some emergency landing. Oh it was awful. Never again. Never again. I'm quivering now just thinking about it. I'm in my office crying like a little 8 month old because I can't shake this terror from my system. Ahhhhh. Wagonwheel Wednesdays are supposed to be about fun. THIS IS NOT FUN.... 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 BREATHE.... So much..... BETTE....R
1. Durango
Not much to say. Southern Colorado. Nice town. Picturesque. A decent music shop if I remember. A good place to stop for lunch.
2. Aspen/Snowmass
If you like to snowboard or ski, this is THE place. Some say it's even better than the Alps. As a town, Aspen is a good place to see a star or two in a different setting than dirty LA. My family used to go literally every spring to ski. I've been in the summer once too... gorgeous.
3. Telluride/Horse Riding
Another great ski town. I've only been in the summer. That's great too. I spent a week at a ranch and I rode horsies around. My horse's name was Blaze. Very fitting since I soon became a huge pothead. This was also the summer where I really started getting into funk. I made copies of some Funkadelic and Parliament albums for one of the dudes who worked at the ranch. In return he gave me some roast beef and beers. How nice. I had like 4 beers in a trash bag, sneaking them into my room as they clanged together. I gulped them down and got on my horsie and road a few hours. Not sure if there are laws against Drinking and Galloping.
4. Black Canyon of the Gunnison
There are the national parks we've all heard of. The Grand Canyons, the Yellowstones and what not. And then there are the hidden gems. Gunnison is a hidden gem. My ex-girlfriend would refer to it as Black Canyon of the Cunt-ison (fyi feminists, I hate that word too. Just repeating a quote. Please let me keep my balls. Thanks). The name is somewhat fitting since this is an extremely deep canyon that's not particularly wide. It's jagged and jet black. I hiked around and am pretty sure I heard a big cat of some kind in the bushes licking his lips ready to snack on some Jew. I got out in time though.
5. Rocky Mountain National Park
I believe this is the country's highest national park. It's nice because it's pretty close to Denver and Boulder. I'm sure there's plenty of real hikes to do, but the main attraction is the drive which cuts through the mountains ascending something like 12 or 13 thousand feet. It's epic. Unlike some other national park drives at VERY high heights, this one never feels unsafe. There aren't as many opportunities to plunge four thousand feet as on some other drives.
6. Mesa Verde National Park
This is an old Pueblo (I believe it's Pueblo) settlement built into the side of a mountain. It's pretty wild. Like Hot Springs National Park, this could probably fall into the National Historic Park category. There is more natural beauty here than Hot Spring though. And since these dwelling are literally carved into the rocks, it's both man-made and natural.
7. Great Sand Dunes
Speaking of a hidden gem. This park is unlike any other in the country. In Southern Colorado at the foot of the Rocky Mountains lies the country's tallest set of sand dunes. Some dunes reach 800 feet or so. You can spend hours climbing up and down these things. Rolling from top to bottom and playing away. If you just focus on the sand, you'd think you were in the Arabian Desert. It's so fucking cool. Initially all the sand came from the bank deposits of the Rio Grande. It just built and built. First a sand bump, then a sand hill, now sand mountains. I'm going to find my old pictures to give you a closer look, but here's one a professional took just so you get the idea.
When I went it was a National Monument. Now it has official National Park status. I must go back.
8. Grand Junction
Not really much of a place, but I have to give it its due because after my alternator nearly died in Utah, this is where I went to get it fixed. It was a miracle that they had the part, because Western CO isn't exactly Volvo country. Just so happened that the owner of the auto shop had a Volvo and kept a spare alternator on hand for himself.
9. Denver
A pretty sprawling city, but with enough of an urban center. Lots of homeless people. Still better than I expected. But not a top 10 American City.
10. Flight from LAX to Eagle, CO
PURE HORROR. I hate to fly. Hate it. I'd rather take the extra 28 hours and drive if given the choice. But after years of refusing to fly, I now actually do it as long as I'm drugged up enough... I'll tell you what I won't ever do though. Fly from LA to Eagle. You know your flight won't be fun when the pilot warns you about turbulence before take off. The first hour was fine. Then it hit. The plane nearly went upside I think. The stewardesses were running back and worth terrified. The pilot told them to prepare for landing! And we still had over an hour left!! I thought we were going in for some emergency landing. Oh it was awful. Never again. Never again. I'm quivering now just thinking about it. I'm in my office crying like a little 8 month old because I can't shake this terror from my system. Ahhhhh. Wagonwheel Wednesdays are supposed to be about fun. THIS IS NOT FUN.... 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 BREATHE.... So much..... BETTE....R
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: DING DONG
Let me clear up something... I don't hate Hillary Clinton. I really really don't. If she had won, I would've voted for her. Of course. She'd be a great president, I bet. But the Clintons have conducted themselves like children. Big crying babies. Wah. Now that CNN has Obama 6 delegates away from the nomination and the AP already has him with the nomination, all that goes through my head is "Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead." I don't think Hillary's a witch. Well maybe she's kinda witch. She's got some witch blood. Sure. But don't all politicians? Not Obama though. Never! NEVER! Haha. He's a politician too. Don't be fooled.
But let's focus on what's important? He needs 6... History is near. I never thought I'd live to see a Black actress win an Oscar let alone be a major party's nominee. Now thanks to Halle Berry's convincing orgasm and Barack Obama's beautiful smile, I've seen both. This is wild.... UPDATE... 5 NEEDED! 5 NEEDED! ....AHHHH ... UPDATE 4 NEEDED. 4!!
Ah, why am I trying to make this suspenseful? We'll know what happens.
All the talk at the moment is over Hillary being the VP. Lots of her supporters are pushing it. Even lots of Obama supporters are pushing it. Sure it hurts Obama's message of change. Sure it'll be tough having Hillary and Billary underneath him. They'll try to yap a bunch. Can you really see Bill in the Tipper Gore role? Hillary in the company of Dan Q. and Dick C.? Yet, the bottom line is there are lots of Hillary fans (the news agencies call them "supporters" but let's be real, these are fans) who won't vote for Obama. Combine all their votes and all that money and McCain will be a bit in over his head...
Here's what I'm thinking though if I'm Obama. I know it's an awful thought, but it's gotta be going through his head. Hillary's gone to such lengths to win. She's been a bit of a poor sport and although sexism has played a role, racism has also played a role and is a huge reason why he didn't wrap this up in March. So let's get that off the table. They cancel each other out... Here's the deal. Hillary has wanted to be president forever. Bill ran in 1992 because Hillary definitely wouldn't have been elected then. But she was basically calling the shots. So you're a politician, you've wanted to be president forever and now you're down the hall from the president.. How hard is it to make it look like a heart attack? ... I'm not suggesting it. Never! It's a horrible thought. But if I'm Obama, this shit has to be crossing my mind! Jesus, this woman says she's staying in the race because Bobby Kennedy was assassinated! Do I think Hillary would do this? No. I don't think she's 100% witch. More like 48% witch. But if I'm Obama, the thought is in my head...
4 Delegates. It's nuts. Nuts. Nuts..... I'll update this as more news comes in...
Ah McCain is speaking. He says it's over. Ugh, he's awful. No thanks. He's stealing Obama's thunder tonight... Now he's mocking Obama's age. That's cute.
AHHHHHHHH CNN HAS A MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR PROJECTION! BARACK OBAMAA HAS ENOUGH DELEGATES!!! Congratulations Mr. Obama. You've made a history. I'm very very happy.
But let's focus on what's important? He needs 6... History is near. I never thought I'd live to see a Black actress win an Oscar let alone be a major party's nominee. Now thanks to Halle Berry's convincing orgasm and Barack Obama's beautiful smile, I've seen both. This is wild.... UPDATE... 5 NEEDED! 5 NEEDED! ....AHHHH ... UPDATE 4 NEEDED. 4!!
Ah, why am I trying to make this suspenseful? We'll know what happens.
All the talk at the moment is over Hillary being the VP. Lots of her supporters are pushing it. Even lots of Obama supporters are pushing it. Sure it hurts Obama's message of change. Sure it'll be tough having Hillary and Billary underneath him. They'll try to yap a bunch. Can you really see Bill in the Tipper Gore role? Hillary in the company of Dan Q. and Dick C.? Yet, the bottom line is there are lots of Hillary fans (the news agencies call them "supporters" but let's be real, these are fans) who won't vote for Obama. Combine all their votes and all that money and McCain will be a bit in over his head...
Here's what I'm thinking though if I'm Obama. I know it's an awful thought, but it's gotta be going through his head. Hillary's gone to such lengths to win. She's been a bit of a poor sport and although sexism has played a role, racism has also played a role and is a huge reason why he didn't wrap this up in March. So let's get that off the table. They cancel each other out... Here's the deal. Hillary has wanted to be president forever. Bill ran in 1992 because Hillary definitely wouldn't have been elected then. But she was basically calling the shots. So you're a politician, you've wanted to be president forever and now you're down the hall from the president.. How hard is it to make it look like a heart attack? ... I'm not suggesting it. Never! It's a horrible thought. But if I'm Obama, this shit has to be crossing my mind! Jesus, this woman says she's staying in the race because Bobby Kennedy was assassinated! Do I think Hillary would do this? No. I don't think she's 100% witch. More like 48% witch. But if I'm Obama, the thought is in my head...
4 Delegates. It's nuts. Nuts. Nuts..... I'll update this as more news comes in...
Ah McCain is speaking. He says it's over. Ugh, he's awful. No thanks. He's stealing Obama's thunder tonight... Now he's mocking Obama's age. That's cute.
AHHHHHHHH CNN HAS A MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR PROJECTION! BARACK OBAMAA HAS ENOUGH DELEGATES!!! Congratulations Mr. Obama. You've made a history. I'm very very happy.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Music Mondays: Death Music
I'm not talking about Death Metal here, but rather real death music, created either after the artist survives a near-death experience or after the artist receives a terminal diagnosis. Sounds dire, sure. But think about it like this. A musician exists to create music. He or she finds inspiration in love, rejection, the weather, whatever. Now all that shit's dandy, but it kinda pales in comparison to the Final Blow. How does the artist respond when faced with something so damn permanent?
The most recent example of this is Spiritualized's "Songs in A&E." When I first heard about this album, I assumed it was a bunch of songs about "American Justice," "Intervention," and other popular A&E shows. but as it turns out, he wasn't talking about TV! You see, England has a little thing called the Accident and Emergency Ward and J Spaceman of Spiritualized (actually J Spaceman kinda IS Spiritualized) spent quite a bit of time in there a couple years back after catching pneumonia and nearly dying. Although most of the songs were written before the experience, nearly all of it was recorded after. And good lord it shows. I had written Spiritualized off after Amazing Grace, a rather mediocre "recorded in our sleep" rocker. But this little album is positively thrilling in its mortality. From the death rattle breathing on the aptly titled "Death take your Fiddle" to the soft chanting of "Funeral Parlour" that closes the album, this whole record is one of the better testaments to survival I've ever heard. It's crisp, both cryptic and bang-you-over-the-head (the Drops of Jupiter sounding "Soul On Fire" ... yes I know Train's smash hit is a guilty pleasure for you too), and easily the most inspired this dude has sounded since 1997. Go get it at your local record store!
For all you other music listeners out there, what's your favorite death music? A few recent example include Laura Nyro's lovely "Angel in the Dark" (fyi, she didn't make it), Warren Zevon's last album (never heard it.. and he didn't make it either), and Neil Young's quite good (but not as good as I first thought) "Prairie Wind" (he fortunately did make it much to James' chagrin).
There's something about Art and Life that I find fascinating. I love it when great masters die right after their main works (aka masterpieces). Sure it's grim, but it's the closest thing we have to actual proof that there's a "meaning of life." Like when August Wilson completed his 10 play mural of 20th century African-American life. 10 plays, 10 decades. Right after the last one, he dies. It's sad yes, but at the same time, it's not. He completed what he set out to do. What's left? Now of course if I ever decide to do a 10 play, 10 decade mural about Jewish life in 20th century America, I'd kinda like to stick around for a bit after it's done. Play golf and what not. But I'm selfish.
The most recent example of this is Spiritualized's "Songs in A&E." When I first heard about this album, I assumed it was a bunch of songs about "American Justice," "Intervention," and other popular A&E shows. but as it turns out, he wasn't talking about TV! You see, England has a little thing called the Accident and Emergency Ward and J Spaceman of Spiritualized (actually J Spaceman kinda IS Spiritualized) spent quite a bit of time in there a couple years back after catching pneumonia and nearly dying. Although most of the songs were written before the experience, nearly all of it was recorded after. And good lord it shows. I had written Spiritualized off after Amazing Grace, a rather mediocre "recorded in our sleep" rocker. But this little album is positively thrilling in its mortality. From the death rattle breathing on the aptly titled "Death take your Fiddle" to the soft chanting of "Funeral Parlour" that closes the album, this whole record is one of the better testaments to survival I've ever heard. It's crisp, both cryptic and bang-you-over-the-head (the Drops of Jupiter sounding "Soul On Fire" ... yes I know Train's smash hit is a guilty pleasure for you too), and easily the most inspired this dude has sounded since 1997. Go get it at your local record store!
For all you other music listeners out there, what's your favorite death music? A few recent example include Laura Nyro's lovely "Angel in the Dark" (fyi, she didn't make it), Warren Zevon's last album (never heard it.. and he didn't make it either), and Neil Young's quite good (but not as good as I first thought) "Prairie Wind" (he fortunately did make it much to James' chagrin).
There's something about Art and Life that I find fascinating. I love it when great masters die right after their main works (aka masterpieces). Sure it's grim, but it's the closest thing we have to actual proof that there's a "meaning of life." Like when August Wilson completed his 10 play mural of 20th century African-American life. 10 plays, 10 decades. Right after the last one, he dies. It's sad yes, but at the same time, it's not. He completed what he set out to do. What's left? Now of course if I ever decide to do a 10 play, 10 decade mural about Jewish life in 20th century America, I'd kinda like to stick around for a bit after it's done. Play golf and what not. But I'm selfish.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
