WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW HAMPSHIRE

New Hampshire is state where I have done plenty of fun things but have spent very little time. Actually almost all of my hours in New Hampshire have been after the sun has gone down. I visited the lovely town of Keene a couple of times in the daylight, but other than that, everything has either been a late night drive on route somewhere else or a concert.

I remember driving through New Hampshire on my way to Vermont thinking that Dover was the biggest city in the state. Back then I assumed like many people do that Capital cities are big. So not having heard of any other cities in New Hampshire, I just thought Dover was the largest. So imagine my surprise when on a drive I see something that almost looks like a real city even though I'm a good 50 miles from Dover. Turns out that New Hampshire has an almost-city called Manchester. Apparently it's a vaguely famous place for no other reason than it's New Hampshire's biggest city. It's no New York, but at 108,000 people it ranks as the largest city in "Northern New England" and the 9th biggest in all of New England! Okay, so it's not much. But it's more than I thought New Hampshire had.

I actually went into the city limits of Manchester once for a Neil Young concert. It's sort of lame. Strike that... really lame. I would never live there. I'd rather live in a "scary" city like Camden or Detroit than in Manchester. At least there would be some quality parties in the hood.

Other than Manchester, I went to the even shittier beach town of "Portsmouth" to see Ween. The concert was great (if you like Ween at least) but the town was really awful. It was like the Jersey shore but populated by people who consider Manchester to be a major city. Okay, maybe some of them have been to Boston too. Regardless, the place sucked.

I'd like to actually see more of the natural beauty NH has to offer, such as the storied "Old Man of the Mountain." But the "Old Man" fell down a few years back and it's not quite the same anymore. I'm sure they still have some sparkling streams and jagged peaks to entice me.

MUSIC MONDAYS: THE BEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR, AS A MIX

I love to read top 10 lists, but I loathe creating them. Deciding the top 3 albums of the year is one thing but how do you mark one album "7" and another "8"? Too tough. So I decided to start an Alex tradition. For those in the know, you may recall that I love to make mixes. Some folks have even told me that I’m pretty damn good at making them. So here is Alex’s "2008 Best of the Year mix." This isn’t a novel idea but I’m putting a bit of a spin on it. These aren’t my eighteen favorite songs. In some cases the songs may be my favorites of the year but more specifically the albums from which I have snipped them are my 18 favorite albums of the year. The order of songs on the mix has nothing to do with which of these 18 albums I like best. It’s a mix. I’m thinking flow and feel and all that. So here we go…

HONORABLE MENTION ALBUMS THAT DIDN’T MAKE MY LIST: These three albums all almost donated a song to my mix, but didn’t quite make the cut.

1. My Morning Jacket- Evil Ways. Very enjoyable, well conceived in certain areas but wildly unfocused in others (ahem, Highly Suspicious).

2. Mystery Jets- Twenty One. A perfectly solid album that I listened to for two weeks and then stopped. I didn’t remember this album even came out until James reminded me last week. Then I was like “oh maybe I should add that to mix.” But no. It remains off.

3. The Walkmen- You & Me. Quality melancholy sounds. But it’s never good when almost every song has you thinking “Is my CD on repeat? Cause Track 8 sounds just like Track 2 sounds just like Track 6.”

And now the real mix, which I have titled O HATE. Get it, 08. Oh Eight. O HATE. Uh-huh, you know you love it. Cause isn't a best of list just a way to hate on other albums? Maybe that's a stretch. But people love to hate on each other's best of lists. So that makes sense.

And another note, iTunes is stupid so if you’re using it or any other stupid program, please save this as a playlist and make sure it runs in the following order for optimal listening.

1. Sigur Ros- "Inní mér syngur vitleysingur" from Inní mér syngur vitleysingur

What at first seems like a shockingly upbeat album from Sigur Ros soon recedes back to their regular glacial chill. Now with Iceland’s dead economy, I can only imagine their songs will become even more depressing. This tune is as joyous as it gets though. Not Sigur Ros' best album but still gorgeous and with these few early diversions, less like one long song.

2. M83- "Kim & Jessie" from Saturdays = Youth

Oh the eighties are back. But this is the infectious eighties, not the shitty eighties that makes pretty much any movie created during the time period completely unwatchable now. And this particular song makes me feel like I’m in DONNIE DARKO. Not that that was actually made in the eighties. You know what I’m saying though.

3. Spiritualized- "Sitting On Fire" from Songs in A&E

The album where J. Spaceman almost died. A&E refers to the Brits' ICU, not the Bounty Hunter channel. For a full on report about the horrifying awesomeness of this album, check my post from when it came out.

4. Hot Chip- "Touch Too Much" from Made in the Dark


Not as good as The Warning, but a solid balance of danceable beats and beautifully reedy vocal lines abound. The sequencing of tracks could be improved, especially towards the end, but that’s just me being a grouch at this point.


5. Ne-Yo- "Fade Into the Background" from Year of the Gentleman

I met Ne-Yo a couple years back. He’s a nice man. Or should I say a nice “Gentleman.” This album shows you can sing R&B and still be classy. As far as mainstream R&B goes, this is definitely the best as far as songwriting goes. He writes all the damn songs, give him a point for that alone. Let’s hope it wins all the many Grammy’s it was nominated for.

6. TV On the Radio- "Love Dog" from Dear Science

Maybe the best album of the year. I could’ve picked any number of tunes from it. This one in particular has a lovely balance of harmony, melody and instruments. Most reviews will mention how this album is SO 2008. This song isn’t the most 2008 of the bunch, but it still feels current to me.

7. Calexico- "Man Made Lake" from Carried to Dust

All my money down, there’s no better band to listen to while driving through Arizona at dusk. I’d rather listen to Neil Young’s Doom Trilogy in this situation but that’s one man, not a band. This is such a dreamy southwestern album. I can taste the cactus needles with every note.

8. Bon Iver- "Lump Sum" from For Emma, Forever Ago

I first heard of this band after reading reviews of the next band’s album. Sort of the flipside to the neo-Americana coin. It’s folk music, woods music, but also soul music in its own special way. They rock out harder live but on record it’s a perfect dose of the wilderness…

9. Fleet Foxes- "Blue Ridge Mountains" from Fleet Foxes

… Just like this album. As the title of this song may suggest, these guys are into the whole scenic thing. It’s hard to believe that they are like 21. This is some rather traveled music.

10. Vampire Weekend- "M79" from Vampire Weekend

I wanted to hate these guys, especially after friends of mine told me that at the concert the drummer was wearing a Phish shirt. But about six months after the release, I gave in. It’s a damn good, tight, to-the-point, economical but musically sophisticated album. Even if I would probably get great pleasure from kicking these guys’ popped-collar asses.


11. Okkervil River- "Starry Stairs" from The Stand-Ins

The sequel to last year’s slightly better “Stage Names.” Lyrically, Will Sheff is pretty much the best out right now. And this song has a great horn line, even if you aren’t into the whole Okkervil aesthetic.

12. Lambchop- "Popeye" from OH

I remember when these guys were pretty big, both in terms of band members (once they had like 16 people in the band) and in terms of popularity. Never big like Green Day or John Tesh, but respectable. A couple years back I saw them at the Troubadour and the place was nearly empty. Now that’s a feat. Anyway, this is an album after that tour and it’s a real gem. Country-soul anchored by Kurt Wagner’s unmistakable baritone. If this is enough to put you to sleep just wait till the breakdown.

13. Department of Eagles- "Waves of Rye" from In Ear Park

I’m a huge Grizzly Bear fan. So imagine my surprise when Jen told me about a spin-off band that sounded just like them. Damn near a new Grizzly Bear album out of nowhere. This particular song isn’t the obvious choice from the album but I think its quite indicative of the DoE’s penchant for building vocals and impressive instrumental palettes.

14. Portishead- "Hunter" from Third

And one of the great 90’s bands has returned. With a bang mind you. You can tell this album is Portishead but it’s about as far from “trip-hop” as one could get. More like sci-fi chamber almost-pop hop? Beth Gibbons has been known to make people crash their cars after hearing her call.


15. Erykah Badu- "The Cell" from New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)

Probably the most underrated album of the year. I love Ms. Badu and I was convinced that she would never come out with another album again. But then she drops this banger. It’s like taking her debut Baduizm and remixing it with Funkadelic's Maggot Brain. Trippy, relevant and catchy as that disease in OUTBREAK.

16. Hercules and Love Affair- "Hercules Theme" from Hercules and Love Affair

Come on now. Songs don’t get more exciting than this. It almost defies words. Those horns, those feline back-up vocal noises. This album is so varied in its 90’s dance homages. Plus, it has Antony (a sorta sometimes transsexual) and a real deal transsexual as guest vocalists. You can’t beat that.

17. Of Montreal- "Wicked Wisdom" from Skeletal Lamping

Like every song on this love it or hate it album, this tune is 8+ songs in 1. Parts of this particular track will stay in your head for weeks. The live show is about as insane as it gets (see my post about it) and the more you listen to this album the more the chaotic song snippets coalesce into a deliberate whole.


18. Beach House- "Heart of Chambers" from Devotion


Horror music. They’re from Baltimore too. Makes sense. I can imagine any of these songs playing as Omar walks down the street with a shotgun. This album, like their last one is the soundtrack to that sensation people get a second before they fall asleep but while they’re still awake. That falling sensation. But if that sensation were actually pleasurable.

And thus concludes songs from Alex’s favorite albums of the year.

Oh, you wanna hear the mix too? Okay

http://www.sendspace.com/file/2ccgby

Remember to put it in the correct order if your iTunes tries to do otherwise!

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: HUGGAMO VS UGGAMO

I may've mentioned the whole Huggamo/Uggamo debate on here before. To summarize, a huggamo is something that's cute with little debate. Puppies, kittens, etc are all huggamo.

Some other examples of huggamos include:



And this too:



But the uggamo is a bit trickier. An uggamo is something that's so ugly, it's cute. Or another way to look at it is this: an uggamo makes you feel all the emotional sensations of seeing something cute while simultaneously feeling revolted. The confusing thing about the uggamo is that some people find certain uggamos to be genuinely huggamo. Even suggest that these things are ugly and they'll destroy you. Take the pug for instance



This is the most classic UGGAMO. Pug lovers however can only see the cute. But please look at this guy objectively. He looks like a stuffed animal version of a hand that's been submerged in water for three hours. It's hideous. Yet cute. Uggamo.

Here are some other pictures. I'll let the folks at home decide whether it's HUGGAMO, UGGAMO or just plain UGLY.












And let us close with this video, which poses the same basic question.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: GURGLE GROWGLE

No thoughts today. But FF tomorrow will be the cutest thing ever, so just wait...

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEVADA

And Wagonwheel has returned!

Today we're onto Nevada. Have I even really been to Nevada? I've been to Vegas five times I think, which is technically in Nevada but that's Vegas. I haven't seen anything north of there. My first time in Nevada I at least drove for a good hour before hitting Vegas. That was quite a night. I had just gotten a flat tire in Arizona, right on the bend of a 75 MPH interstate. You couldn't see me at all. I tried to pull up as much as I could. Of course I knew next to nothing about changing tires and my jack at the time was about as effective as a straw...and I was on an uneven gravel turn-off. I couldn't get anyone to stop and help me except a car of Mexican men who spoke no English and didn't seem to know much about changing tires either. After about two hours of cursing, kicking, praying and crying, I managed to change the tire. A few minutes later, I hit Nevada. That was my first experience. Driving on a donut at 3 in the morning.

I made it to Vegas though! That first time was pretty nuts seeing Vegas come out of nowhere. Man, I wasn't even really aware of "The Strip." I ended up there only after I went to "Downtown Vegas" and saw four casinos. That first Vegas adventure was fun mainly because I explored Vegas. I had my tire changed and I played mini golf and I went to a thrift store. It wasn't all partying.

Since then, I've at least made the trek to the monumental Hoover Dam a couple times, which is really quite a marvel. If you haven't been, it's worth driving 30 mins the next time you're in Vegas. But don't pay to get into the actual dam. For one Jackson and a Lincoln (or 25 Washingtons or a Hamilton, a Lincoln, a Jefferson and 8 Washingtons)you get a better view and probably can seem some more of the dam's inner workings but that's pricey as hell. $25 for what? At least I think it's just "for what." If anyone out there has gone to the dam, and has paid to go in and it's at least three times better than not paying, let me know.

I'd like to explore some more of Nevada. Reno sounds interesting. And Great Basin National Park looks rather thrilling. But there's just so many other places to see in this country. Not enough time! I need an Alex that works and an Alex that see National Parks. Oh and an Alex that sits at home watching TV and playing video games. So three Alex's. That doesn't seem too unrealistic.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CRIME and PUNISHMENT

With all the talk about crime and punishment these days, I started to think of forms that are now deemed inhumane. INHUMANE is a pretty odd word when applied to American C&P because as merciful as lethal injection is (and there's some debate on whether or not the injectee suffers), the US is the only Western Country that still has the death penalty to my knowldge. Now don't freak out at me for making this all political. This isn't a Pro or Anti Death Penalty post. Nonetheless, whether you think the death penalty is needed or not, most would admit that isn't exactly civilized. Important, necessary perhaps (although this isn't MY viewpoint) but not civilized. So if we make that concession, why are we pretending that we're doing an uncivilized act in a civil manner? How is death by hanging any less "cruel and unusual" than pumping poison into a man's veins? Plus, people who support the death penalty often support it because of the sweet justice it attempts to offer loved ones of victims. So shouldn't the murderers suffer? Again, this isn't my position, but I'm just trying to follow it logically.

This isn't only about the death penalty either. They no longer put people in the stocks and throw moldy tomatoes at them. They no longer let teachers hit kids with rulers.. Yet they do let football coaches work their team in 105 degree heat until the heftier folks suffer kidney failure.

If one "extinct punishment" could return, I'd love to see a resurgence in Firing Squad. It sounds awful. But it's just so shocking that it was ever allowed in our fine democracy that I think it should stay. Just for nostalgia. Stoning on the other hand goes a bit far. No burning. No drowning. No electric chair. Hanging is probably the cheapest. Well maybe firing squad is. I don't know. Actually the cheapest would be to abolish the death penalty instead of keeping people (often innocent people) waiting for 10,20,50 years. Okay, fine, this has turned into an anti-death penalty post. Here's what I say. Abolish the death penalty unless the loved ones need closure and vengeance. If they need closure, then turn the blind eye as they enact their revenge. Leave it on the field!

Ooh this is so very morbid... In case you're curious about states and the death penalty...

In the meantime, just make sure you don't commit crimes or put yourself in a position to be framed and you'll be fine.

MUSIC MONDAYS: PHILLY, ARCHIVES and XMAS

I was hoping to have my Best of the Year mix up for your downloading pleasure today, but I still have some finalizations to make. I discussed this mix with a man many know as "James" amongst other aliases. He predictably hates a lot of it. That's good. I know I'm on the right track then... But let's move onto things we can all agree about. The new Philly Soul box set "Love Train" is one for the ages. I swear I'm not just promoting this because I'm from Philly. I'll be the first to admit that "Love Train" is a terrible name for this retrospective. My complaints end there though. Unlike some past sets that omitted the contributions of Thom Bell (Delfonics, The Spinners) and instead focused on the brilliant career of Gamble and Huff, "Love Train" brings them all together, plus adds some third party 70's Philly gems like "Be Thankful For What You Got." Add a booklet of informative essays, interviews and photos and you've got the perfect holiday gift. Plus, Amazon has it for $30. That's $7.50 a disc! 71 Tracks in all. Come on now. Whatcha waiting for?

In other music news, Neil Young has delayed his archives again. After 20 years of waiting, what's another few months or years? But the timing comes a day after the release oh a 5 minute Archives preview and a day after a Neil-insider hosted a chat about how great they'll be. So whet the appetite but replace the steak with a brick. Yum. One day perhaps, one day. By then maybe I'll have money to actually afford it...

...And now to get relevant about the season, a word on Christmas music. I'm of mixed emotions when it comes to Christmas music. It's not because I'm Jewish and think Jesus shouldn't be celebrated. Never. I just don't like how every radio station is taken over! That said, I am a bit fan of melancholy renditions of the minor key carols. Actually, I love all Christmas songs if I'm on the East Coast, and it's snowing. Or maybe just in a city. Department store windows and all that. Ah, Christmas cheer. Hot Cocoa and snowmen. All the classics. You miss a ton of that in California. Palm trees and Christmas just don't work. Sigh, I miss snow.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: DID YOU KNOW

Here's a thought... Is Wagonwheel Wednesdays no more? Of course not. For whatever reason Wednesday has become my slack day. Last week I spent my whole Wednesday at home (before taking the red eye for T-Day) and I still didn't manage to inform you about travels. No excuse for that. Right now I'm trying to convince Jen to go on a week long Southwestern Road Trip in May. There are tons of National Parks I want to revisit and also places like White Sands National Monument that I keep missing out on. I think she'll be so impressed with my itinerary that she'll have to take the time off work. Then you'll hear about it on future Wagonwheels.

Now onto some thoughts... Wow nothing. My brain is vacant. I have nothing at all to say. This is bad... Let me hit my head on random objects around the office and see if that helps...

... Okay I hit my head on a coat rack and that seems to have done the trick.

Here are some random world facts that you may've never known!

*DID YOU KNOW? Camels are allergic to eggs.

*DID YOU KNOW? Crocodile Dundee was originally conceived as a project for Mel Gibson but by the time production started he no longer had an accent.

*DID YOU KNOW? Lebanon and Papa New Guinea don't recognize Washington, D.C. as the capital of the United States? They still consider Philadelphia (the original capital) as the official capital.

*DID YOU KNOW? After Eminem and Elton John's groundbreaking performance at the awards show, Eminem locked Elton in his piano. He also voted FOR Prop 8.

*DID YOU KNOW? Many years ago the order of planets from the sun went Venus, Mercury, Mars, Earth NOT Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. Apparently the dinosaurs had something to do with the switch. Or maybe the switch killed the dinosaurs. One or the other.

*DID YOU KNOW? The Whig Party has been predicted to make a comeback in 2020.

*DID YOU KNOW? Goomba and Mario were originally reversed. It was called Super Goomba Brothers and Goomba was the main guy and Mario was the first enemy. But then kids got scared during test runs and they changed it.

*DID YOU KNOW? In light of the water shortages in France, Evian has started creating water by combining two servings of Hydrogen with one serving of Oxygen.

Okay... That's good for now. There will be a quiz on Monday. Study up.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BOO GIANTS

I don't know, I'd rather have some off field issues with a nearly undefeated team than a bunch of saints at 6-5-1 (yes, 6 wins, 5 losses and 1 tie... the Eagles tied a game this year. Actually of all the games in NFL history that have ended in ties, the Eagles have played in about 25% of them). That said, this Plaxico Burress business is downright nuts. If you don't know the story, the Giants rather good receiver accidentally shot himself in the leg the other day. He didn't have a permit for the gun and now he's in some legal trouble...

What gets me about this story though is that all these reports that "Burress was shot." Last night on Monday Night Football, his notoriously sleazy agent Drew Rosenhaus was talking about how frightened he was when he hard Plaxico was shot in the leg. Understandable since Rosenhaus' client Sean Taylor was killed last year after getting shot in the leg. But the problem is that while intruders broke into Sean Taylor's house and shot him, Plaxico Burress shot HIMSELF in the leg. Sure, it's serious. Sure, Drew should've been worried. But let's get the facts straight. Saying someone "was shot" implies that someone else did the shooting. "Plaxico" =Subject, "shot"= verb. The preposition has been left out of the sentence, which is usually a practice done because the prepositional phrase is assumed. Like "The tennis player lost." One would assume he lost to another tennis player. If he actually lost to himself, the sentence would probably read "The tennis player lost to himself." Sad, but maybe he lost at solitaire not tennis. So Rosenhaus, listen: Be worried about your damn client. But don't pretend he was a real victim. Your client last year was a real victim. Plaxico is just a Superbowl Champion with a really unfortunate name.

MAMMOTH MONDAYS

Today's Music Monday has been usurped by the news that scientists are well on their way to cloning a Woolly Mammoth. For those that don't know animals, these guys are extinct. Loooong extinct. They're also really adorable. Mind you, I've seen Jurassic Park. I know the dangers of bringing back animals from the dead. But can you imagine? If they can customize little mammoths? Oh the possibilities have me rolling on the floor with cute-induced laughter. Many of you may not realize that Mammoths, despite their rather gnarly name, are indeed some huggable creatures.

Look



Okay, I'll admit, that's a stuffed mammoth. But even this true-to-life replica is friendly enough to make a Russian wrestler go "aw."



I'm being selfish. Mammoths shouldn't be brought back. It's cruel to everyone, mostly the mammoth. The amount of money and fuel that will be burnt to make this happen, not to mention the bidding war amongst the world's zoos to host this guy... Maybe he should just remain dead. It's like that episode of Buffy, where she brings her Mom back to life and you see her walking from the graveyard to the house and Buffy's warned that this raising the dead thing is imperfect and there can be some serious repercussions and the last minute Buffy undoes the revival. It's sometimes best to remember things as they were and leave it at that. Not to mention, they're also talking about cloning Neanderthals. Now that's the worst idea yet. They'd just clone tons of them and make them slaves. Would they be kept in a zoo too? They wouldn't know how to interact with humans obviously. They'd give babies nightmares. Why even try? There's a horror movie for you. Night of the Living Neanderthals.

Please don't open that box.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CABINETS AND JEALOUSY

Without the election, there's not much to talk about is there? Actually there's plenty. The economy still sucks. Wall Street goes up and down based on announcements. China is still sending a man to Mars. Okay, not quite. But how do you like that space program? Oh we're so fucked.

The main news has been over Obama's cabinet. But even that has slowed down since we know most of the front runners. What ever happened to all the Republicans that Obama said he'd put in there? Not that I really want any. Just want the Dems to come out as the bigger party... Okay update. Obama's keeping Robert Gates as Secretary of Defense. At least for now. Makes sense with two wars going on.

Enough serious thought. I saw in the supermarket today that Angelina has been talking about Jen behind her back again. And that she walked around naked to seduce a married Brad! And it worked! This was all in US Magazine. Not a "respectable" publication, but a bit more trustworthy than your National Enquirers. I can't believe that this Jen/Angie feud is still talked about. Is it really there? Has Jen (by the way, remember when people called her Jennifer? They still call her "Jennifer Aniston." You never hear Jen Aniston. That sounds odd) not gotten over him? Hasn't she had like three boyfriends since? Isn't she dating John Mayer again now? Wait, were Brad and Jen married? Are Angie and Brad married? I don't know who's married in Hollywood and who's just dating VERY SERIOUSLY... Ah, looks like B&J were MARRIED. For 5 years! I guess that could be hard to get over. Especially if your man is Brad Pitt... and if the other woman is a beautiful lunatic like Angelina Jolie... Oh wait! They divorced after JEN was caught cheating. This is messier than I thought....

In other exciting news, I saw a turducken at Whole Foods today. I had never actually seen one before. It's a bit weird to me that they sell premade turkduckens. I always assumed that turduckens were hand assembled at home... Also I saw chicken hearts and honestly nearly threw up all over the market floor. Something about eating a heart just doesn't work for me one bit. My grandma always used to tell me to shy away from organ meat. Amen to that.

MUSIC MONDAYS: OF INSANITY

Have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes? Probably. I know there are a lot of Madonna fans in the audience. Fair enough. Well have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes plus "actors" and dancers? Ok ok, I'm sure you have. But seriously now. Straight to the point. Have you ever been to a show that featured a saloon scene, paper mache beasts, people dressed as pigs and tigers, a man being hung from a noose, the same man coming out of a coffin from the ground, dressed as a centaur one minute, wearing nothing but skimpy underwear the next, and then being painted completely red? Well don't feel bad, I hadn't either. But then came "Of Montreal." We didn't have the horse like they did in New York, but nonetheless, this ranks up there as one of the most bizarre shows I've ever seen.

Unlike some other oddball performances I've been to, the music was nearly as strong as the visuals. They played nearly non-stop for over 2 hours, ending the show with blistering covers of "Take me Out" and "Smells like Teen Spirit." Kevin Barnes is definitely one of the strangest men to grace a stage. I never got to see Bowie or Prince at their oddest. But I can only imagine now that I've seen their heir apparent.

The show took place at the newly reopened Palladium. I had heard horror stories about this place but was hoping for the best since Live Nation now owned it. Not that I have any great love affair with Live Nation. But I know they like to make their venues nice. The outside looks great now and the inside wasn't too bad either. The problem wasn't the decor...

...The main GA area is like a large roller skating rink. But apparently a GA ticket wasn't enough to get you into this section (which probably holds about 1000 people). You needed some wrist band too. No mention of this shit on the tickets or anything. Of course they were out of wrist bands even though the floor was about 60% full tops. Eventually we just snuck on as part of a wave of people that hit the floor. But even towards the end of the show we saw that they were enforcing this rule. That's so so stupid. I understand the rationale in theory but outside the floor, the only place to stand (other than in the balcony) was in the doorways, which is obviously just as much if not more of a fire hazard as too many people on the floor. I was hoping that maybe they wanted to keep the space open for Kevin Barnes to trot his horse around but then the horse never showed up. They better not do this shit every show (the venue, not Of Montreal)... Not like I have any shows planned there.

Enough about the venue though. Bottom line to take away from this: if you still have a chance to see Of Montreal on this tour, GO NOW. Even if you hated the last album (I happened to like it though)... But try to see it in a 21 and over venue because there were way too many 12 year olds here.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: BABY ________

Some random baby goodness for you...

BABY OCTOPUS



BABY KOALA---- Oh damn that's incredibly huggum.



BABY GIRAFFE--- Still taller than me



BABY ORANGUTAN - I just love orangutans. They're so very playful... And this is stunning. The bath part is simply perfect.



I'm gonna stick with orangutans for our last clip. This is an older orangutan (not old man orangutan, just older than the last one) which gets us away from the baby topic but I think it's important because Jen doesn't understand how cute orangutans are. I mean, they like to play more than any other animal I think... Just watch



Yes please, buy me two!

UPDATE... I just received this

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEBRASKA

Nebraska was shaping up to be another "cheat" state like Iowa. There was nothing I wanted to see there, so I merely made sure my route from South Dakota to Wyoming included a little Nebraska run (you can see this represented by the black line in the NW corner of the map below). Then, a month later, as I was preparing to head back east, I saw a report about the BIND-TORTURE-KILL Killer being back on the loose in Kansas. This prompted me to rethink my route (remember Kansas is also the place where I stayed at a Day's Inn that had blood on the shower curtain). I sadly had to give up going to White Sands National Monument, but in its place we went to a few Utah parks that I hadn't been to... Most importantly, the new route took me straight Nebraska!

Beyond that there's almost nothing to say. I stayed in Lincoln. It was cooler than you might imagine. I immediately found a splendid record store that had some Neil Young bootlegs... For dinner I went to some place in what appeared to be a "hip" section of town but the night was extremely foggy so that may've positively affected the vibe I got.

Damn... this one's short. What can I say? Nebraska is landlocked. It produced Bright Eyes. Just imagine Conor's ear-drum shattering whine and you'll get a sense of just how fun it must be to grow up in Nebraska. If that's your thing, you'll love it. Western Nebraska has some picturesque rolling hills but it's mostly flat... Ooh my, Nebraska's tourism desk will definitely be knocking down my door.

Sorry. I just have nothing more to add to the discussion.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: READY SET...

... Current news stories about "Pink Piglets"

Eh, nothing in a couple weeks. Nov 6, a pig in Gloucester gave birth to "seven adorable pink piglets." Don't believe me? Look:



... Current news stories about "dreidels"

Ah! The SFBG has a step-by-step guide for making edible dreidels. Amazing.

"STEP-BY-STEP

Determined to make something, but don't know how? For Jews and Judeophiles, try making an incredible edible dreidel. All you need are Hershey's chocolate kisses, marshmallows, thin pretzel sticks, and peanut butter.

Step 1: Spread a generous amount of peanut butter on the end of a marshmallow. This peanut butter will act as a glue for the next step.

Step 2: Unwrap a kiss and attach it to the peanut butter–glazed side of the marshmallow. This will create the bottom of the dreidel — the part that allows it to spin.

Step 3: On the side of the marshmallow that has thus far remained untouched, take a pretzel stick and press it into the center ... "

That sounds positively delicious... and easy to make!

...Current news stories about "ink poisoning"

Hmm...not much. Nothing worth reporting... What about "arsenic poisoning"? Oh this is awful. Millions of people in Bangladesh are slowly being poisoned by naturally ocurring arsenic in rural wells.

Let's get happier.

... Current news stories about "brand new zoo"

Not much. I was hoping to find 10 articles about new zoos opening in the world. But nothing. I love zoos. Not the depressing zoos with suicidal tigers but the zoos that help endangered animals thrive in natural-like habitats.

Go Pandas!

MUSIC MONDAYS: NEW THOUGHTS ON EVIL URGES

As I prepare for my jaw-dropping best-of-the-year mix, I've begun listening to all albums in contention for a spot on the mix. In some cases my favorite albums have held up well months later. But in the case of The Ruby Suns' album from this year, I decided I'd rather have the $4.00 Amoeba credit than have the album take up space on my shelf. It's not a bad album at all. Pretty good actually. But I don't need to own it.

That brings me to the new My Morning Jacket album. I'm a huge MMJ fan. Most people first started hearing them on a national scale after their "break through" Z. I got into them on "It Still Moves" and promptly bought all the earlier albums. Although I think Z may be their most complete album it was also my least favorite of theirs. You know that whole "it's best but I don't love it" argument. Now the new one "Evil Urges" is a different beast altogether. I hadn't listen to it since it first came out and hearing it again after all these months, I'm convinced of one thing: ADULT CONTEMPORARY. Now I don't mean that in a bad way exactly. I'm as big a fan of catchy MOR music as any soccer mom. But when your first album sounds like a buncha guys fucking around on acoustic guitars at 3AM drunk off Bourbon in a Kentucky barn, it's a bit unsettling to hear an album full of songs that you may hear at the gas station or in your local Rite Aid... Speaking of which, I actually HAVE heard "Thank You Too!" at my supermarket.

I find it all extremely pleasant, but for the sake of their artistic careers, I hope they don't come out with another album for 10 years. Because the next one will probably do worse than rip off Green Day melodies (as in Urges' "Two Halves"). The fact is, the elevator-leanings of some of this album are damn great compared to miscalculated genre-exercises like "Highly Suspicious." Hey I love Prince-aping. After all, Ween's one of my favorite groups ever. But this song is just bad. It's the sort of tune that would be a splendid little B-Side or live excursion but as Song 3? Oooh. Bad choice. MMJ have never been a great album band though, so I guess they're forgiven. "It Still Moves" would've been an absolute masterpiece as a 45 minute album but at 71 minutes, it more than overstays its welcome.

It may not seem like it from this post, but I still haven't thrown Evil Urges off my best of the year list. When it's good, it's great. The last third is mostly all stellar. "Remnants," "Smokin from Shootin," Touch Me I'm Going to Scream pt 1 and 2" are unabashedly solid tunes. Plus I really enjoy the MOR songs for their catchy melodies and smooth FM Gold sounds. So who knows if you'll see an Evil Urges track on your mix this year. I'm viewing it now as the alternate to the basketball team. If the starters are having a solid blow-out kind of game, maybe there will be enough time to give MMJ the benefit of the doubt.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: NO WHITE HOUSE AIDING FOR ALEX

Damn damn damn. I was so excited to join Obama's staff but I'll never pass the test! How nice, you don't have to submit traffic tickets that were less than $50. In LA how many traffic tickets can you get that are less $50? I came to a rolling stop at a stop sign and a cop pulled me over and said next time it would be a $300 ticket! That's outrageous. I think I would've gotten the message with $100... What if they stopped fining people but instead went in to your house with an appraiser and took something of value. Obviously that has the potential to be way worse, so to even the playing field a $300 fine would be something like $50 in value... Or maybe the appraiser can take into account emotional worth as well. "That item cost 10 dollars but it came from his son who was just killed last year in a hunting accident." That may make the item worth $1000.

Back to Obama's questionnaire for a moment. They want to see all e-mail or blog entries or facebook pages that can embarrass the president. Are you allowed like 1 or 2 slip-ups? Or are you allowed to say lots of horrible things as long as you sign a letter of release saying that Obama does not and will never ever support your position on "rodent rights" or "Prince Albert" piercing conventions.

Let's just move on.

I noticed today that there are some trees in LA that changed color. Not many but just a few had red and orange leaves! Definitely not "Autumn" but compared to those 800 ft tall palm trees, it's a welcome change.

Okay time to go play softball.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MONTANA

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten out of the "M's," Montana takes me by surprise. I always thought Montana looked like a gigantic bathtub. One of those baths with feet. I forget what they're called. Feeted Tub? Tub O Pedis? Makes you feel clean in Montana too. Fresh air in the big sky! Oh yes, Montana's a fine fine state. It almost went to Obama too!

I've actually seen a rather small portion of Montana but from everything I hear, I saw the most attractive section, namely "Glacier National Park." Oooohweee this place is breathtaking. The drive through the park is long and slow and traverses thousands of feet but it's about as spectacular a drive as you'll ever experience. You see it all up close, climbing between mountains in your car. Glaciers obviously, but also waterfalls, streams, cliffs, lakes, bears, mountain goats, snow. It's a unique park in that it teams up with Waterton Park in Alberta, Canada to form an "International Peace Park." I saw tons of baby bears at Waterton, but not even a single baby at Glacier. Looks like Canada gets the better deal. The ranger in Canada warned us about the bears and said that lots of parents put honey on their kids' hands so the bears will come and play... Clearly someone forgot to tell them that wild bears are much less Winnie the Pooh and way more Dracula. Would you lure a Pit Bull over by putting honey on your child's hand? Well a wild bear is much more dangerous than a pit bull. Consider that...

... But we're not even talking about Montana at this point. Back to the American side of the park. I stayed at a lodge that looked a hell of a lot like the Overlook from The Shining. We moved rooms for some reason or another. Probably because of a ghost. Or maybe it was construction. One or the other, I forget. The hotel overlooked (no pun intended) a deep blue lake, forests, snow covered peaks and much more. Despite being terrified during the night, the setting had me in awe during the day.

The only other part of Montana I visited was Missoula. It seemed like a decent college town. I went to a pretty solid record store. I'm sure they voted blue here. It's that eastern, flat and barren Montana you have to watch out for. They hunt them some children over in those parts.

You know, I still haven't seen a Montana plate in my current incarnation of the license plate game... And speaking of travel in Montana, that rumor that used to float around about how Montana has no speed limit is most certainly NOT TRUE. Sure, the limit was still like 75 MPH, which is Road Runner speed compared to the East Coast but it's still a limit. Unless all the speed signs I saw were just show for the tourists so we feel more at home... Quite possible indeed.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: SHARED OFFICE, OBAMA and ERACISM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... My boss just said that starting in January I will have to share an office with him for six weeks because editors need to set up shop in my office. That's horrifying. I wasn't even planning on being at this company after December. But then the stock market tanked. Now I may as well stay. It's not like I can even resort to eating rats since LA is pretty rat-free. Maybe I can eat coyotes... But sharing an office with him? Oh that's terrible.

Let's get to the topic of the day. Now that Obama has won, I don't have much to do to distract me. I still check the various blogs but it's just not that exciting reading about Bush hosting the Obamas. And when I read the more conservative blogs, I just get mad about them talking shit about Obama before he's even been sworn in.

Will I be the sort of blind Obama supporter that worships my president? Probably not. But here's what I'm wondering... It's illegal to threaten to kill the president. But racist cops threaten Black men all the time. So who wins? Racism or the president? Let's run with this for a second. Now that a Black man (but wait... Obama's mom is white! Hey... check this out if you still need a WHY....ONE DROP RULE) will be president, what can we expect to change, if anything race-wise? Of course racism won't go away. If anything people will use Obama as an excuse to be more racist. Like a white real estate agent not showing a Black couple a house and then responding to the racism charge with "but our President's Black. The US isn't racist!"

But let's focus on what Alex wants to see change in terms of race relations.

-National coverage for every missing Black child or Black pregnant woman even if they aren't related to an Oscar winning actress. (Or conversely no more coverage for the Laci Peterson's of the world).

-Black actors other than Denzel, T. Howard, D. Cheadle, or Tyler Perry getting roles written for them.

-More interracial bands like Sly and the Family Stone

-More Black hockey players, more European baseball players, more Asian football players, more Dwarf basketball players (oh man... do they have dwarf leagues with no one over 5 foot allowed. That would be amazing).

-No more non-violent drug offenders in prison

Oh that's good for now I guess.

MUSIC MONDAYS: BRILLIANT IDEA ALERT

So it's official. No Top 10 list this year. No way. First, it's too hard to rank albums, let alone pick a certain number. Second, unless you're Pitchfork, no one is going to read your list and then buy the albums. We're busy! That said, I can't go another year without letting the world know my opinion. So this year I'm going to go through all my favorite albums of the years and pick a song from each and compile a mix for your downloading pleasure. That way everyone wins. Plus, you get to see my mix-making skills. All quality reasons... But that's not for a couple weeks.

Other music items of note:

*The new releases have mostly dried up. I don't think I have anything on my upcoming purchase list other than live albums, remasters, box sets, etc.

*As far as sensitive, overly earnest music goes, Cat Stevens is up there. I just purchased the Deluxe Editions of his two "classic" albums TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN and TEASER AND THE FIRECAT. Both are great. Really natural, detailed remastering for the most part. A couple songs seem to have been remastered by a different person because they're a bit flat. Lots of demos and live versions of songs too. My new favorite Cat Stevens song is "Hard-Headed Woman." Damn his facial expressions are EMO



*"Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables" is a really great name for an album. Even if you don't like the Dead Kennedy's or punk.

*I really think it's about time for the French Horn to make a comeback. It's a great looking instrument.

*Here's my current Bob Dylan obsession. Don't mind the odd visuals.



And here's Nico's more famous version



And how about Marianne Faithfull's while we're at it (which sounds a lot more like Dylan's)

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: NOW THAT'S HUGGUM

I want a doggie! Hearing Barack talk with such seriousness about the first dog (not to mention Bush's dog biting a reporter) has made really want a dog again. Jen isn't a big fan of this idea. She wants a dog at some point but says "maybe I should start with a plant." That's hilarious. Jen hates plants too. How odd is that? That's like people I've met who "hate water."

There are several dogs that I think would make great pets. You need to find a perfect balance between cuteness, obedience, shedding and practicality. My latest obsession is the dachshund. I never really thought much about them until we got a little stuff dachshund named Oscar.

If you don't think they're cute, just check this out... And he has a facebook page too!! Hugs will have to be his friend

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

I was going to spend this whole post bitching about my Republican co-worker and the outrageous things I overheard her say yesterday but I don't condone such widespread gossip. However, I'm fine with one-on-one gossip if anyone wants to ask me what I heard the next time they see me.

In keeping with the original nature of Thoughtful Thursdays, I will list a handful of things that drive me utterly bonkers.

1. THE PHONES RINGING IN MY OFFICE- For some reason we don't have individual phone lines. Just a main number. That would be fine if we had a receptionist... but we don't. Three days a week an intern answers most of the phones but other than that we're all on "phone duty." To make it more annoying we now have a doorbell that rings everyone's phone so guests can be admitted. That sound makes me foam at the mouth.

2. SLOW WALKERS- In the grocery store, on the sidewalk, wherever. Unless you're old or disabled, you don't have a good excuse. If you want to walk slow, just walk in the street.

3. THAT FEELING YOU FEEL WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF ON A WEEK DAY. THAT FEELING THAT SAYS "OH I DON'T WANT TO GET UP BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I'M GOING TO SAVOR MY SLEEP THIS WEEKEND." BUT THEN WHEN THE WEEKEND COMES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CAPTURE THAT SATISFACTION... ESPECIALLY SINCE I USED TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PLEASURE ON SNOW DAYS. BUT NOW I LIVE IN LA, WHERE IT NEVER SNOW

4. TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I'm sure anything would satisfy me, but nothing sounds quite worthy ofi breaking the pain.

5. PEOPLE WHO THINK RACISM IS GONE NOW THAT OBAMA HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT (See number 10 as well).

6. HOUSES THAT SMELL LIKE DOG (see number 9 as well).

7. REALIZING THAT POTS AND PANS THAT I NEED TO COOK DINNER ARE DIRTY

8. MY INABILITY TO PLANT A MONEY TREE THAT ACTUALLY SPROUTS MONEY

9. DOGS THAT BARK FOR NO REASON (I swear I like dogs. A lot. Just not fucked up annoying dog).

10.WHITE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE "RACE CARD." Come on, seriously come on. If you don't like the race card, you should invent a time machine so you can go back and tell your ancestors (or if you're not 20th generation American, your friends' ancestors) not to invent thousands of cramped RACE SLAVE SHIPS full of people that they've enslaved and given a "race" to in the first place. Maybe you just didn't get the job cause there was some food stuck in your teeth.

On that especially Jack Cafferty-esque note, I will leave you to ponder your own pet peeves? Perhaps "sunrises" or "yellow cars" or "The Mad Monk." Whatever... Oh and one more pet peeve

11. PEOPLE NOT LEAVING COMMENTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION ANYMORE

Seriously folks. I have no problem making up states for future Wagonwheel Wednesdays.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSOURI

And we're back with a Black President Elect in tow. Oh hell yes. No thanks to this "bell weather" state. It was very close but apparently the "show-me state" had more people who thought that lying, cheating, two-faced McCain was putting forth the goods. 6,000 or less people on the other hand went with Obama, knowing full well that the only thing McCain showed throughout this campaign was his hand, as it turned out was nothing more than a pair of 7's at best.

Enough about politics... actually first let me go..... OBAMA WINS!!!! HELL FUCKING YES YES YES YES.... As you may have noticed, there was no Topical Tuesday yesterday. I thought the day spoke for itself. So I posted nothing.

Now, no more about politics for today.

Other than too many Repubs, what does Missouri have to offer? There's the fine city of St. Louis, known for its Cardinals and Nelly. And that arch too. You know that thing is fucking huge? Way bigger in person than I ever imagined. You can actually take a ride inside the arch to the top. Too expensive for me to try but I love that that's even possible. My friend visited St. Louis once and he must've been really really high because he kept telling me how great the "archeS" were. Beyond the arch, St. Louis seemed a bit drab... Sorry Dan.

Missouri's other major city "Kansas City" is a massive shit hole. It's only redeeming value is that it has some really unbelievable barbecue. Oh my. Kansas City barbecue is THE SHIT. Maybe the best region for it in the country. My North Carolina friends would disagree and that's fine. But really, NC BBQ and KC BBQ are so so different that you can enjoy both without having to get all boasty about one or the other. Man I miss real barbecue. We never had it in Philly but I got spoiled by my travels around the country.

Other than BBQ, Kansas City is depressing and dangerous. The Royals are perhaps the shittiest franchise in sports. Not historically but in recent memory, pretty much constantly losing since 1995. The Chiefs are awful this year too. And you know what else sucks about KC? The city is named for a different state (which is also unfortunate for Kansas City, Kansas since they have the namesake but none of the shitty sports teams or the glory... actually, maybe it's better to be Kansas City, Kansas).

Kansas City is also notable as the place where I got off the train after learning that my dad had torn his kneecap from his knee.

The rest of Missouri is somewhat scenic, with rolling hills and farms. It's a pretty varied state, part Southern (they have some THICK accent in Joplin, MO) and part Midwestern. I even visited an impressive cave near Springfield, Missouri.

It's got a pretty great shape too.

MUSIC MONDAYS: A SAD NOTE

I was all prepared to talk about music today, this being Music Mondays and all. I was going to tell you about how I'm about to start going over all the album's of the year to determine my ten favorite. But then someone in my office told me that one of the agents we work with just found her assistant dead. I'd talked to this assistant before to set up meeting and the like. Not sure how old he was but it was most likely 20-something. I don't have any details but I'm too shook up to write a regular old Music Monday.

As a paranoid hypochondriac, who's also a very empathetic person, I internalize this sort of stuff in a major way. I always need the details. I'm reassured if I find out that the person in question had an existing condition, which is a natural way to think perhaps but still terrible all the same. Tragic news like this puts things like the election or my team winning the World Series into perspective. I think not only of my own fragile existence but all my loved ones and anyone who cares about another person.

Not that the people reading this blog knows this guy, but if nonetheless, I want to say, Daniel Abrams Rest In Peace... It seems odd to offer a peaceful afterlife to someone who I know so little about. I just read over an e-mail correspondence confirming a meeting my boss had with his boss' client and I realized that that's the only tangible relationship I have to this guy. We've spoken on the phone but I can't remember the sound of his voice. We never had business drinks or anything like that. I'm not sure if he was lean or large, bald or hairy, beautiful or plain. But does that matter? To the Abrams family, whom I know even less, and to all the assistants and agents I actually do know at APA, my thoughts go out to you.

Sorry for the bleak nature of my post. I needed to get it down.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT FRIENDLY FRIDAY?

Here's a thought...

It feels like Friday. I keep having to remind myself it's Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. Halloween is tomorrow and I'm nearly ready. I still have to get a cane, white gloves and some gold facepaint. Mr. Peanut here I come! Tonight I need to have Jen draw the peanut ridges on my shirt and make the little white hat band that reads "Mr. Peanut."

Oh my, I'm hungry. I had an early lunch, which is always tough for me. My stomach usually only stays full for 2-3 hours. Good thing I have a fast metabolism. If I didn't, they'd have to use a crane to get me to work every day. Can you imagine if you had to travel to work by crane? That would be equal parts cool and embarassing. Costly too I imagine.

Here's another thought.... The Phillies won! If you know me, you'll probably hear me mention this fact for the next several months. Get used to it.

Tonight is October 30th (aka "Mischief Night"... or is that an East Coast-only thing?). I was supposed to be preparing to see Neil Young but then he decided to cancel because some of the workers at The Forum are on strike and he doesn't want to break the picket line. This is bullshit for so many reasons. I respect Neil's principles here but apparently these guys have been on strike on and off for two years! Why would you book this show at The Forum!? Since I ordered through this special pre-order site (not Ticketmaster) I have to mail my ticket back to get a refund. I could always keep the ticket and go to the rescheduled show but since there's no date for the show, just "sometime in 2009," I think I'll have to vote with my pocketbook on this one and return the ticket. After all, I just pre-ordered his stupid archives on Blu-Ray for 300, even though they'll still probably never come out... I could use a $100 refund.

Damn, Neil. The economy sucks! Why are you putting me on the street?

THE PHUCKING PHIGHTING PHILLIES HAVE JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm too drunk with excitement to write Wagonwheel today. This is fucking unreal. I'm still expecting another game.


WE WON

WE WON

WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

What's another few days after waiting my whole life, right? My baseball hating girlfriend thinks that baseball players are "wimps" for not playing in the rain. That's the current situation in the World Series, where the clinching Game 5 was put on suspension after the rain got a bit out of hand. Now they're tentatively set to resume the final 3.5 innings tomorrow night.

BULLSHIT!

They should've called this game long before the Rays tied it at 2-2 in the top of the sixth. Jen may think that not playing in the rain is reflective of how un-manly baseball players are, but that's obviously insane. The outfield has a great draining system so rain doesn't matter that much. But if you add a shit load of water to dirt it becomes mud. There were puddle on the field! Puddles. That's neither safe nor fair.

Anyway... here's the biggest problem. I was emotionally ready to win last night. I was in the mindset for celebration. I'm sure I'll get pumped up again but it suddenly feels out of reach. The intoxicating euphoria of the moment made me actually think that the Phillies could win The World Series. Now I've returned from this delusional land of prophetic trumpets and I'm reminded that in the past 25 years Philadelphia sports teams (in the major 4 sports) are 0 for 7 in Championship Series'.

Let me get a bit more specific, because I know you care SO much.

Since May 31, 1983

HOCKEY: Flyers are 0 for 3 in the Stanley Cup Finals (85,87,97)

FOOTBALL: Eagles are 0 for 1 in the Superbowl (that miserable 2005 loss to the Patriots... We kept it close but that's worth little once McNabb started puking).

BASKETBALL: The last team to win a championship! When I was 19 months old! In 2001 the Sixers made it back to the finals and lost to the Lakers.

BASEBALL: The Phillies were the first team to lose during the "Curse" era, losing the World Series to the Baltimore Orioles in Oct of 1983. They would go on to lose in 1993 as well on Joe Carter's demoralizing homerun off Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams.

So there you have it... Not much reason to believe... Prove me wrong fate.

MUSIC MONDAYS: OH ELTON

I finally got the chance to see Elton John live. Some of you out there may laugh at Elton and I'll concede that he's a bit outrageous and does have some terrible songs. But he also has a good five or six classic or near-classic albums. This was the Vegas Red Piano show so it was a bit of a different experience. I knew David LaChapelle directed it but I had no idea that it would be just as much his show as Elton's. Outrageous is an understatement. I expected some cursing, maybe some nudity in the videos and what not. But an inflatable pair of titties that shot out stringy milk from the nipples? And phalli aplenty! Bananas and the like.

Elton sounded great as well. Usually you expect performers' voices to degrade into "death rattles" as they get older. Elton's voice actually did degrade considerably in the 80s due to growths on his vocal chords. But the surgery must've been successful because he boomed out the hits! And I must say, for a show that was pretty much all hits, he chose wisely. The highlight? Either a very extended Rocket Man (complete with outtakes from the video where Justin Timberlake plays Elton) or a heart-wrenching "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." SSMT was accompanied by one of the odder videos I've ever seen. It started with a guy playing a younger Elton, sticking his head in an oven. As Elton "dies," his spirit leaves his body and starts dancing with this creepy naked woman with a blonde fro and ice skating with a bear. At one point the creepy woman has a fire-cracker/sparkling thingy sticking out of her special region. I'm a pretty literary guy, but I'm not quite sure what to take from this one.

Now, I have to cut this short... The Phillies are on... Up in the World Series 3-1

WILL THIS BE THE DAY?

I haven't seen a Philly team win a chamionship ever. The Sixers won in 1983, but I was 1.5...

Oh my. I'm nervous.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: FRUIT BRUTE

I've become obsessed with Fruit Brute. Who? Fruit Brute! Don't feel bad, I hadn't heard of him either. Surely you know Count Chocula. Well Fruit Brute was his cousin. Sort of. He was one of the other General Mills "Monster Themed Cereals." This motley crew of monsters was made up of the delicious chocolatey Count Chocula, the Strawberry pop of Frankenberry, the cool blueberry delight of Boo Berry and what I can only imagine as the tastebud explosion of Fruit Brute. They stopped making Fruit Brute in 1983 but I can't figure out why. If you look up the monster cereals on Wikipedia you'll learn that the initial batch of Frankenberry contained a dye that didn't break down in the body leading to what some dubbed "Frankenberry Stool." But yet they won't say who killed Fruit Brute. I suspect a silver bullet since that's really the only way werewolves die. Maybe it was a silver banana.

Now here's where the story gets a bit interesting. In 1988 they resurrected the Fruity Monster serial but this time handed it over to a new character named Fruity Yummy Mummy! Now come on. How can you kill off such an adorably wild mascot and replace him with a Mummy? Couldn't they have kept Fruit Brute and just had Frosted Yummy Mummy or Peanut Buttery Mummy? I actually remember Fruity Mummy well. I had thought the cereal was only my imagination, but apparently not. I guess the Fruity thing didn't sell because they discontinued The FY Mummy in the mid-1990's.

I think Fruit Brute should return. He's my new favorite advertising character. In other character news, I'm going to be Mr. Peanut for Halloween!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: THE UGLIEST FIELD

My thought of the day is that the Tampa Bay Rays (nee Devil Rays) play in the worst stadium in the major leagues. I know a thing or too about shitty stadiums, having endured twenty-something years of the now demolished concrete donut of Philly, The Vet. This Rays place is truly awful though. Probably the only good thing about it is that it's named "Tropicana Field" and Tropicana orange juice is pretty tasty.

So what makes it so bad? For one it's a dome. Domes usually suck. Retractable domes are fine because they can still grow real grass, but an all-year dome has about as much personality as a Lunchables pizza. Sure no rain delays, no wind, no cold. Great. Give me an American cheese and white bread sandwich while you're at it.

Let's take a little virtual tour.

Here's the outside



And the field, which looks a bit like a giant miniature golf hole.



Inside rotunda... at least they remind you of the delicious Florida OJ.



The outfield has a tank of sting rays for kids to pet, so I guess that's pretty cool too.



And a close-up of the dome



See all those catwalks up there? Well they're all in play! If it hits in homerun territory, it's a homerun, and if it hits the catwalk in foul territory, it's a foul ball. But I'm pretty sure that if it bounces back into the field, it's a playable ball. Absurd.

Tampa Bay (which isn't even a city.. it's a body of water) congrats, you have the worst stadium in sports... Oh, and go Phils! (Not that my team allegiance has anything to do with my opinion

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSISSIPPI

What's got four eyes but can't see? If you answered a blind quad-clops, you're wrong. The answer is of course Mississippi.

Three cheers for the Deep South! Here's another state I mostly drove the hell through because of my Southern prejudices. I got out of the car once, at a mall in Meridian, Mississippi. Eerily, three days later a disgruntled worker at some business establishment in Meridian shot up the entire office floor, killing six. Good thing it wasn't a McDonald's worker at the mall or I might've been shot.

I can't say much about the cities or scenic drives of Mississippi since I remained on the highway the whole time. The state has no mountains that I can rave about, no geothermic fields or canyons. Not really much that's noticeable from the road. I saw some pleasant trees.

Perhaps what I remember most about Mississippi is that the Meridian mall had ATMs from my mother's bank (which will remain nameless to protect her identity and the bank's identity). Seems innocent, right? Well this bank has no actual locations in Mississippi. So when the screen comes up that says "Unless you are a ___ Bank customer, you must pay a $2.00 fee," you almost definitely have to pay the fee. This may be okay in Bel-Air, but last time I checked, Mississippi was the poorest state in the country. Fortunately, the bank no longer has their ATMs in this mall. Not sure if they realized the oppressive nature of their ways or just found that it was no longer profitable.

So there's the four I's for you.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BREAK FROM POLITICS

I'm going to be really bored at work when this election is over. But right now I need a break from politics. So how about I play anchor for a minute and report you the news.

In keeping with the regular evening news format, let me tell you about some LA Crime that happened in the last week near where I live and work.

A couple blocks from my house there was a mugging. It's not in an area I'd regularly walk though. There were also some aggravated assaults, but again not in the areas where I walk after dark.

Near my office... Wow, there was a rape. Oh my. That could've been a date rape. Not that that makes it any better... Wow that's really scary. Just a few blocks away, on Masselin, a street where Jen and I used to park all the time when she lived over there (and also where someone broken into my car and stole my navigation system). Horrifying... There was a mugging around there too... Damn, no where's safe in LA.

Speaking of which, let's see what crime has gone down in Beverly Hills. Hmm, let's see, nothing. What about some other exclusive LA areas? Hancock Park? Again, not much dangerous... So pretty much any area that looks like a suburb is mostly okay, but any area that looks like your typical city, even a slight bit, has the possibility of danger.

Fascinating.

Let's round up a few other LA neighborhoods, since I know my readers come from far and wide.

Compton: Nothing apparently. That seems a bit odd. Even Beverly Hills had a couple "thefts from vehicle." Not saying that Compton is more dangerous than Beverly Hills... Oh wait, it says "outside jurisdiction."

Watts: We have a homicide. In all my months of looking at crime maps, I haven't seen too many yellow dots. It's always sad. That's an actual person who was murdered and here they just appear as a yellow dot. I hope they got the funeral they deserved... I'm officially creeped out now.

Westwood: Aggravated assault

Venice: Some muggings... And a rape. Shit. Bad.

Koreatown: Surprisingly not too much. We have an aggravated assault and a mugging. Not great but Koreatown is quite large and doesn't have the best reputation.

Echo Park: Again, another neighborhood with a bad reputation. But like Koreatown, crime's been minimal over the past week.

Downtown: Lots of aggravated assaults. This could be normal incidents, but let's not forget how many homeless people live in downtown LA. There's a possibility that some of them are beating on non-homeless people and on each other. But let's also not forget that homeless people aren't all that popular. It's possible that homed people are beating the homeless. No one deserves that.

I can't look at this anymore. It's making me miserable. Let's move on with our news report.

Weather: A bit brisk, but mostly okay. Probably smog.

Sports: Phillies are in the world series!

And that concludes our Tuesday news.

MUSIC MONDAYS: RANDOM ROUND-UP

-Amoeba once gave good money for CDs. Now they're just like any other used store. 3 or 4 bucks a disc, tops. I've all but given up taking music I want to sell there now that I've discovered the joys of selling on Amazon marketplace. But in recent weeks, I've had very few bites on my Amazon items. Probably because no one has 401k $ to fall back on anymore. Most of the items I have for sale would be considered "rare" albums. Do you think if I brought them to Amoeba with a preface like "these are rare and out-of-print. Please give me a good deal" it would help? Doubtful.

-Good news. The Zeppelin mini LP box set I pre-ordered is indeed the Japanese set, not some American reproduction. What this means is that it'll be great. Whenever the Americans try to do Mini LPs, they tend to fuck something up. Plus, whereas the original Japanese set retailed at about 300, this one is a mere 180. Still a lot of money, sure. But it's 12 discs, complete replicas with all the bonus goodies that came with the original releases. Overall not a terrible deal... Now I have to sell the two Zeppelin mini LPs I already have (see the first item on this post). In other Zeppelin news, Robert Plant is considering NOT going on tour with Zeppelin. Apparently Jack White may replace him. Interesting. I hope he brings Alicia Keys along.

-I need to get something to play my iPhone in the car. Anyone know anything good? I don't have a tape deck, so I can't use one of those handy converters. I'd have to do the radio transmitter option. Usually they all suck but perhaps someone knows of a good one. My pal Byron has a great one but it doesn't really work for the new iPhones, just the old ones.

-I have two extra Elton John tickets for this weekend in Vegas. Let me know if you're interested.

-Sometimes I crave the culinary equivalent of musical numbers. Like mmm wouldn't you just love to eat "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Tainted Love"?

-In honor of Bob Dylan's fantastic Bootleg Series Volume 8, I will begin listening to the entire bootleg series starting with volume 1 tonight. I currently don't have Volume 6 but I ordered it from Amazon for half off. It should be here by the time I reach it in my listening progression.

-When I write songs I find myself coming up with great verses but then mediocre choruses. Do any of my blog readers out there have a knack for a catchy hook? If so, maybe we can team up and change the face of music.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: PHILLIES MAKE THE WORLD SERIES!!!!

In honor of the Phillies dissection of the Dodgers and first World Series berth in 15 years, I am offering a Phillies-centric thought.

Once upon a time, in the land of South Philadelphia, a strange green bird/reptile/goofball creature named the Phillie Phanatic was born. He's the sort of mascot that one loves to hate. I remember thinking at one point in my life in the middle of a baseball game "this guy's lame," until he had me cracking up doing a priceless (and somewhat crude) dance with the 2nd base umpire to Alicia Keys' "Falling."

If you have no idea who this crazy guy is, check out what he does to the cotton candy boy!



A mascot Hall-of-Famer in fact... But what if the Phanatic one day, God forbid, died. Who would replace him? I think any creature or animal would be unfairly compared to the Phanatic but what about a human mascot? The Brewers have Bernie the Brewer and the Mets have Mr. Met. Why can's the Philadelphia Phils have... Phil Collins!? He could have a portable plush drumset sidekick.




Or perhaps they can resurrect Ireland's heavy soul metal king Phil Lynott from the dead.



What about Phil Donahue? You could make a pretty squeshie huggable version of Donahue.



What other worthy "Phils" could be the Phillies new mascot in the event that the Phanatic moves on to mascot heaven?

How about John Phil-ip Sousa?



Now that would be classy.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MINNESTOA

What do Prince, Bob Dylan and Target have in common? Minnesota obviously. Fine state, really. Maybe not in the winter. Sure, I've never actually been in the cold months, but judging by the indoor walkways that connect nearly all the buildings of downtown Minneapolis, it can't be fun.

Most of my Minnesota adventures have been relegated to the cities. I started in Duluth, home to the country's largest inland port. The aforementioned Mr. Dylan grew up near here. I didn't do much in Duluth, honestly. My hotel had a revolving restaurant. I tried to eat to there since I've always been intrigued by spinning eateries but I felt pretty damn sick immediately, so I got the food to go. Didn't do much else in Duluth. I went to a depressing casino, but that's about all. My Duluthian friend Kristen assures me that it's a wonderful place, but I remain skeptical.

Minneapolis on the other hand was a very welcome surprise. It's a pretty Cosmopolitan place overall. Some solid music stores and great scenery to boot. On the food front it's a bit suspect. I give them credit for at least having lots of ethnic food. But the problem is they need more ethnic people. I know Minneapolis has some diversity but not too many Asians judging by the Thai and Japanese food I ate. At the Thai place, the white waiter asked me how much MSG I wanted on my food. Then at this sushi joint I had something called a 7-spice Dragon Roll, which was really just a Dragon Roll with Old Bay seasoning poured on top of it. Yum!

Let's be more positive. Minneapolis has a great sculpture garden that features a gigantic spoon with a cherry on it. The garden also had a 9-hole mini golf course, with each hole designed by a different artist. The course was closed the day I was there but I got to at least see it and imagine what it would be like to play. Don't underestimate imagination!

The other twin city, St. Paul is pretty shit though. There's really next to nothing there other than a statehouse. It's a sizable city in its own right but it has very little to do.

Minnesota also boasts the thrilling Mall-Of-America. As someone who grew up with one of the nation's largest malls (King of Prussia), I can say with authority that the MOA is a beast. Much has been made about the Amusement Park inside the mall, but equally impressive is the full aquarium. Then there's tons of other fun around the mall. It truly is an Americana treasure.

I'd like to go back to Minnesota one day to check out Voyageurs National Park and a few of the 10,000 lakes (Actually I saw some lakes in Minneapolis. They have some great parks built around a couple of the lakes).

Now if everyone can get out their Prince tambourines and sing along with me... Purple Rain, Purple Raiiiiin!