TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CABINETS AND JEALOUSY

Without the election, there's not much to talk about is there? Actually there's plenty. The economy still sucks. Wall Street goes up and down based on announcements. China is still sending a man to Mars. Okay, not quite. But how do you like that space program? Oh we're so fucked.

The main news has been over Obama's cabinet. But even that has slowed down since we know most of the front runners. What ever happened to all the Republicans that Obama said he'd put in there? Not that I really want any. Just want the Dems to come out as the bigger party... Okay update. Obama's keeping Robert Gates as Secretary of Defense. At least for now. Makes sense with two wars going on.

Enough serious thought. I saw in the supermarket today that Angelina has been talking about Jen behind her back again. And that she walked around naked to seduce a married Brad! And it worked! This was all in US Magazine. Not a "respectable" publication, but a bit more trustworthy than your National Enquirers. I can't believe that this Jen/Angie feud is still talked about. Is it really there? Has Jen (by the way, remember when people called her Jennifer? They still call her "Jennifer Aniston." You never hear Jen Aniston. That sounds odd) not gotten over him? Hasn't she had like three boyfriends since? Isn't she dating John Mayer again now? Wait, were Brad and Jen married? Are Angie and Brad married? I don't know who's married in Hollywood and who's just dating VERY SERIOUSLY... Ah, looks like B&J were MARRIED. For 5 years! I guess that could be hard to get over. Especially if your man is Brad Pitt... and if the other woman is a beautiful lunatic like Angelina Jolie... Oh wait! They divorced after JEN was caught cheating. This is messier than I thought....

In other exciting news, I saw a turducken at Whole Foods today. I had never actually seen one before. It's a bit weird to me that they sell premade turkduckens. I always assumed that turduckens were hand assembled at home... Also I saw chicken hearts and honestly nearly threw up all over the market floor. Something about eating a heart just doesn't work for me one bit. My grandma always used to tell me to shy away from organ meat. Amen to that.

MUSIC MONDAYS: OF INSANITY

Have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes? Probably. I know there are a lot of Madonna fans in the audience. Fair enough. Well have you ever been to a show that featured 15+ costume changes plus "actors" and dancers? Ok ok, I'm sure you have. But seriously now. Straight to the point. Have you ever been to a show that featured a saloon scene, paper mache beasts, people dressed as pigs and tigers, a man being hung from a noose, the same man coming out of a coffin from the ground, dressed as a centaur one minute, wearing nothing but skimpy underwear the next, and then being painted completely red? Well don't feel bad, I hadn't either. But then came "Of Montreal." We didn't have the horse like they did in New York, but nonetheless, this ranks up there as one of the most bizarre shows I've ever seen.

Unlike some other oddball performances I've been to, the music was nearly as strong as the visuals. They played nearly non-stop for over 2 hours, ending the show with blistering covers of "Take me Out" and "Smells like Teen Spirit." Kevin Barnes is definitely one of the strangest men to grace a stage. I never got to see Bowie or Prince at their oddest. But I can only imagine now that I've seen their heir apparent.

The show took place at the newly reopened Palladium. I had heard horror stories about this place but was hoping for the best since Live Nation now owned it. Not that I have any great love affair with Live Nation. But I know they like to make their venues nice. The outside looks great now and the inside wasn't too bad either. The problem wasn't the decor...

...The main GA area is like a large roller skating rink. But apparently a GA ticket wasn't enough to get you into this section (which probably holds about 1000 people). You needed some wrist band too. No mention of this shit on the tickets or anything. Of course they were out of wrist bands even though the floor was about 60% full tops. Eventually we just snuck on as part of a wave of people that hit the floor. But even towards the end of the show we saw that they were enforcing this rule. That's so so stupid. I understand the rationale in theory but outside the floor, the only place to stand (other than in the balcony) was in the doorways, which is obviously just as much if not more of a fire hazard as too many people on the floor. I was hoping that maybe they wanted to keep the space open for Kevin Barnes to trot his horse around but then the horse never showed up. They better not do this shit every show (the venue, not Of Montreal)... Not like I have any shows planned there.

Enough about the venue though. Bottom line to take away from this: if you still have a chance to see Of Montreal on this tour, GO NOW. Even if you hated the last album (I happened to like it though)... But try to see it in a 21 and over venue because there were way too many 12 year olds here.

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: BABY ________

Some random baby goodness for you...

BABY OCTOPUS



BABY KOALA---- Oh damn that's incredibly huggum.



BABY GIRAFFE--- Still taller than me



BABY ORANGUTAN - I just love orangutans. They're so very playful... And this is stunning. The bath part is simply perfect.



I'm gonna stick with orangutans for our last clip. This is an older orangutan (not old man orangutan, just older than the last one) which gets us away from the baby topic but I think it's important because Jen doesn't understand how cute orangutans are. I mean, they like to play more than any other animal I think... Just watch



Yes please, buy me two!

UPDATE... I just received this

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEBRASKA

Nebraska was shaping up to be another "cheat" state like Iowa. There was nothing I wanted to see there, so I merely made sure my route from South Dakota to Wyoming included a little Nebraska run (you can see this represented by the black line in the NW corner of the map below). Then, a month later, as I was preparing to head back east, I saw a report about the BIND-TORTURE-KILL Killer being back on the loose in Kansas. This prompted me to rethink my route (remember Kansas is also the place where I stayed at a Day's Inn that had blood on the shower curtain). I sadly had to give up going to White Sands National Monument, but in its place we went to a few Utah parks that I hadn't been to... Most importantly, the new route took me straight Nebraska!

Beyond that there's almost nothing to say. I stayed in Lincoln. It was cooler than you might imagine. I immediately found a splendid record store that had some Neil Young bootlegs... For dinner I went to some place in what appeared to be a "hip" section of town but the night was extremely foggy so that may've positively affected the vibe I got.

Damn... this one's short. What can I say? Nebraska is landlocked. It produced Bright Eyes. Just imagine Conor's ear-drum shattering whine and you'll get a sense of just how fun it must be to grow up in Nebraska. If that's your thing, you'll love it. Western Nebraska has some picturesque rolling hills but it's mostly flat... Ooh my, Nebraska's tourism desk will definitely be knocking down my door.

Sorry. I just have nothing more to add to the discussion.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: READY SET...

... Current news stories about "Pink Piglets"

Eh, nothing in a couple weeks. Nov 6, a pig in Gloucester gave birth to "seven adorable pink piglets." Don't believe me? Look:



... Current news stories about "dreidels"

Ah! The SFBG has a step-by-step guide for making edible dreidels. Amazing.

"STEP-BY-STEP

Determined to make something, but don't know how? For Jews and Judeophiles, try making an incredible edible dreidel. All you need are Hershey's chocolate kisses, marshmallows, thin pretzel sticks, and peanut butter.

Step 1: Spread a generous amount of peanut butter on the end of a marshmallow. This peanut butter will act as a glue for the next step.

Step 2: Unwrap a kiss and attach it to the peanut butter–glazed side of the marshmallow. This will create the bottom of the dreidel — the part that allows it to spin.

Step 3: On the side of the marshmallow that has thus far remained untouched, take a pretzel stick and press it into the center ... "

That sounds positively delicious... and easy to make!

...Current news stories about "ink poisoning"

Hmm...not much. Nothing worth reporting... What about "arsenic poisoning"? Oh this is awful. Millions of people in Bangladesh are slowly being poisoned by naturally ocurring arsenic in rural wells.

Let's get happier.

... Current news stories about "brand new zoo"

Not much. I was hoping to find 10 articles about new zoos opening in the world. But nothing. I love zoos. Not the depressing zoos with suicidal tigers but the zoos that help endangered animals thrive in natural-like habitats.

Go Pandas!

MUSIC MONDAYS: NEW THOUGHTS ON EVIL URGES

As I prepare for my jaw-dropping best-of-the-year mix, I've begun listening to all albums in contention for a spot on the mix. In some cases my favorite albums have held up well months later. But in the case of The Ruby Suns' album from this year, I decided I'd rather have the $4.00 Amoeba credit than have the album take up space on my shelf. It's not a bad album at all. Pretty good actually. But I don't need to own it.

That brings me to the new My Morning Jacket album. I'm a huge MMJ fan. Most people first started hearing them on a national scale after their "break through" Z. I got into them on "It Still Moves" and promptly bought all the earlier albums. Although I think Z may be their most complete album it was also my least favorite of theirs. You know that whole "it's best but I don't love it" argument. Now the new one "Evil Urges" is a different beast altogether. I hadn't listen to it since it first came out and hearing it again after all these months, I'm convinced of one thing: ADULT CONTEMPORARY. Now I don't mean that in a bad way exactly. I'm as big a fan of catchy MOR music as any soccer mom. But when your first album sounds like a buncha guys fucking around on acoustic guitars at 3AM drunk off Bourbon in a Kentucky barn, it's a bit unsettling to hear an album full of songs that you may hear at the gas station or in your local Rite Aid... Speaking of which, I actually HAVE heard "Thank You Too!" at my supermarket.

I find it all extremely pleasant, but for the sake of their artistic careers, I hope they don't come out with another album for 10 years. Because the next one will probably do worse than rip off Green Day melodies (as in Urges' "Two Halves"). The fact is, the elevator-leanings of some of this album are damn great compared to miscalculated genre-exercises like "Highly Suspicious." Hey I love Prince-aping. After all, Ween's one of my favorite groups ever. But this song is just bad. It's the sort of tune that would be a splendid little B-Side or live excursion but as Song 3? Oooh. Bad choice. MMJ have never been a great album band though, so I guess they're forgiven. "It Still Moves" would've been an absolute masterpiece as a 45 minute album but at 71 minutes, it more than overstays its welcome.

It may not seem like it from this post, but I still haven't thrown Evil Urges off my best of the year list. When it's good, it's great. The last third is mostly all stellar. "Remnants," "Smokin from Shootin," Touch Me I'm Going to Scream pt 1 and 2" are unabashedly solid tunes. Plus I really enjoy the MOR songs for their catchy melodies and smooth FM Gold sounds. So who knows if you'll see an Evil Urges track on your mix this year. I'm viewing it now as the alternate to the basketball team. If the starters are having a solid blow-out kind of game, maybe there will be enough time to give MMJ the benefit of the doubt.

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: NO WHITE HOUSE AIDING FOR ALEX

Damn damn damn. I was so excited to join Obama's staff but I'll never pass the test! How nice, you don't have to submit traffic tickets that were less than $50. In LA how many traffic tickets can you get that are less $50? I came to a rolling stop at a stop sign and a cop pulled me over and said next time it would be a $300 ticket! That's outrageous. I think I would've gotten the message with $100... What if they stopped fining people but instead went in to your house with an appraiser and took something of value. Obviously that has the potential to be way worse, so to even the playing field a $300 fine would be something like $50 in value... Or maybe the appraiser can take into account emotional worth as well. "That item cost 10 dollars but it came from his son who was just killed last year in a hunting accident." That may make the item worth $1000.

Back to Obama's questionnaire for a moment. They want to see all e-mail or blog entries or facebook pages that can embarrass the president. Are you allowed like 1 or 2 slip-ups? Or are you allowed to say lots of horrible things as long as you sign a letter of release saying that Obama does not and will never ever support your position on "rodent rights" or "Prince Albert" piercing conventions.

Let's just move on.

I noticed today that there are some trees in LA that changed color. Not many but just a few had red and orange leaves! Definitely not "Autumn" but compared to those 800 ft tall palm trees, it's a welcome change.

Okay time to go play softball.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MONTANA

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten out of the "M's," Montana takes me by surprise. I always thought Montana looked like a gigantic bathtub. One of those baths with feet. I forget what they're called. Feeted Tub? Tub O Pedis? Makes you feel clean in Montana too. Fresh air in the big sky! Oh yes, Montana's a fine fine state. It almost went to Obama too!

I've actually seen a rather small portion of Montana but from everything I hear, I saw the most attractive section, namely "Glacier National Park." Oooohweee this place is breathtaking. The drive through the park is long and slow and traverses thousands of feet but it's about as spectacular a drive as you'll ever experience. You see it all up close, climbing between mountains in your car. Glaciers obviously, but also waterfalls, streams, cliffs, lakes, bears, mountain goats, snow. It's a unique park in that it teams up with Waterton Park in Alberta, Canada to form an "International Peace Park." I saw tons of baby bears at Waterton, but not even a single baby at Glacier. Looks like Canada gets the better deal. The ranger in Canada warned us about the bears and said that lots of parents put honey on their kids' hands so the bears will come and play... Clearly someone forgot to tell them that wild bears are much less Winnie the Pooh and way more Dracula. Would you lure a Pit Bull over by putting honey on your child's hand? Well a wild bear is much more dangerous than a pit bull. Consider that...

... But we're not even talking about Montana at this point. Back to the American side of the park. I stayed at a lodge that looked a hell of a lot like the Overlook from The Shining. We moved rooms for some reason or another. Probably because of a ghost. Or maybe it was construction. One or the other, I forget. The hotel overlooked (no pun intended) a deep blue lake, forests, snow covered peaks and much more. Despite being terrified during the night, the setting had me in awe during the day.

The only other part of Montana I visited was Missoula. It seemed like a decent college town. I went to a pretty solid record store. I'm sure they voted blue here. It's that eastern, flat and barren Montana you have to watch out for. They hunt them some children over in those parts.

You know, I still haven't seen a Montana plate in my current incarnation of the license plate game... And speaking of travel in Montana, that rumor that used to float around about how Montana has no speed limit is most certainly NOT TRUE. Sure, the limit was still like 75 MPH, which is Road Runner speed compared to the East Coast but it's still a limit. Unless all the speed signs I saw were just show for the tourists so we feel more at home... Quite possible indeed.

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: SHARED OFFICE, OBAMA and ERACISM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... My boss just said that starting in January I will have to share an office with him for six weeks because editors need to set up shop in my office. That's horrifying. I wasn't even planning on being at this company after December. But then the stock market tanked. Now I may as well stay. It's not like I can even resort to eating rats since LA is pretty rat-free. Maybe I can eat coyotes... But sharing an office with him? Oh that's terrible.

Let's get to the topic of the day. Now that Obama has won, I don't have much to do to distract me. I still check the various blogs but it's just not that exciting reading about Bush hosting the Obamas. And when I read the more conservative blogs, I just get mad about them talking shit about Obama before he's even been sworn in.

Will I be the sort of blind Obama supporter that worships my president? Probably not. But here's what I'm wondering... It's illegal to threaten to kill the president. But racist cops threaten Black men all the time. So who wins? Racism or the president? Let's run with this for a second. Now that a Black man (but wait... Obama's mom is white! Hey... check this out if you still need a WHY....ONE DROP RULE) will be president, what can we expect to change, if anything race-wise? Of course racism won't go away. If anything people will use Obama as an excuse to be more racist. Like a white real estate agent not showing a Black couple a house and then responding to the racism charge with "but our President's Black. The US isn't racist!"

But let's focus on what Alex wants to see change in terms of race relations.

-National coverage for every missing Black child or Black pregnant woman even if they aren't related to an Oscar winning actress. (Or conversely no more coverage for the Laci Peterson's of the world).

-Black actors other than Denzel, T. Howard, D. Cheadle, or Tyler Perry getting roles written for them.

-More interracial bands like Sly and the Family Stone

-More Black hockey players, more European baseball players, more Asian football players, more Dwarf basketball players (oh man... do they have dwarf leagues with no one over 5 foot allowed. That would be amazing).

-No more non-violent drug offenders in prison

Oh that's good for now I guess.

MUSIC MONDAYS: BRILLIANT IDEA ALERT

So it's official. No Top 10 list this year. No way. First, it's too hard to rank albums, let alone pick a certain number. Second, unless you're Pitchfork, no one is going to read your list and then buy the albums. We're busy! That said, I can't go another year without letting the world know my opinion. So this year I'm going to go through all my favorite albums of the years and pick a song from each and compile a mix for your downloading pleasure. That way everyone wins. Plus, you get to see my mix-making skills. All quality reasons... But that's not for a couple weeks.

Other music items of note:

*The new releases have mostly dried up. I don't think I have anything on my upcoming purchase list other than live albums, remasters, box sets, etc.

*As far as sensitive, overly earnest music goes, Cat Stevens is up there. I just purchased the Deluxe Editions of his two "classic" albums TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN and TEASER AND THE FIRECAT. Both are great. Really natural, detailed remastering for the most part. A couple songs seem to have been remastered by a different person because they're a bit flat. Lots of demos and live versions of songs too. My new favorite Cat Stevens song is "Hard-Headed Woman." Damn his facial expressions are EMO



*"Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables" is a really great name for an album. Even if you don't like the Dead Kennedy's or punk.

*I really think it's about time for the French Horn to make a comeback. It's a great looking instrument.

*Here's my current Bob Dylan obsession. Don't mind the odd visuals.



And here's Nico's more famous version



And how about Marianne Faithfull's while we're at it (which sounds a lot more like Dylan's)

FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: NOW THAT'S HUGGUM

I want a doggie! Hearing Barack talk with such seriousness about the first dog (not to mention Bush's dog biting a reporter) has made really want a dog again. Jen isn't a big fan of this idea. She wants a dog at some point but says "maybe I should start with a plant." That's hilarious. Jen hates plants too. How odd is that? That's like people I've met who "hate water."

There are several dogs that I think would make great pets. You need to find a perfect balance between cuteness, obedience, shedding and practicality. My latest obsession is the dachshund. I never really thought much about them until we got a little stuff dachshund named Oscar.

If you don't think they're cute, just check this out... And he has a facebook page too!! Hugs will have to be his friend

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

I was going to spend this whole post bitching about my Republican co-worker and the outrageous things I overheard her say yesterday but I don't condone such widespread gossip. However, I'm fine with one-on-one gossip if anyone wants to ask me what I heard the next time they see me.

In keeping with the original nature of Thoughtful Thursdays, I will list a handful of things that drive me utterly bonkers.

1. THE PHONES RINGING IN MY OFFICE- For some reason we don't have individual phone lines. Just a main number. That would be fine if we had a receptionist... but we don't. Three days a week an intern answers most of the phones but other than that we're all on "phone duty." To make it more annoying we now have a doorbell that rings everyone's phone so guests can be admitted. That sound makes me foam at the mouth.

2. SLOW WALKERS- In the grocery store, on the sidewalk, wherever. Unless you're old or disabled, you don't have a good excuse. If you want to walk slow, just walk in the street.

3. THAT FEELING YOU FEEL WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF ON A WEEK DAY. THAT FEELING THAT SAYS "OH I DON'T WANT TO GET UP BUT AT LEAST I KNOW I'M GOING TO SAVOR MY SLEEP THIS WEEKEND." BUT THEN WHEN THE WEEKEND COMES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CAPTURE THAT SATISFACTION... ESPECIALLY SINCE I USED TO BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PLEASURE ON SNOW DAYS. BUT NOW I LIVE IN LA, WHERE IT NEVER SNOW

4. TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I'm sure anything would satisfy me, but nothing sounds quite worthy ofi breaking the pain.

5. PEOPLE WHO THINK RACISM IS GONE NOW THAT OBAMA HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT (See number 10 as well).

6. HOUSES THAT SMELL LIKE DOG (see number 9 as well).

7. REALIZING THAT POTS AND PANS THAT I NEED TO COOK DINNER ARE DIRTY

8. MY INABILITY TO PLANT A MONEY TREE THAT ACTUALLY SPROUTS MONEY

9. DOGS THAT BARK FOR NO REASON (I swear I like dogs. A lot. Just not fucked up annoying dog).

10.WHITE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE "RACE CARD." Come on, seriously come on. If you don't like the race card, you should invent a time machine so you can go back and tell your ancestors (or if you're not 20th generation American, your friends' ancestors) not to invent thousands of cramped RACE SLAVE SHIPS full of people that they've enslaved and given a "race" to in the first place. Maybe you just didn't get the job cause there was some food stuck in your teeth.

On that especially Jack Cafferty-esque note, I will leave you to ponder your own pet peeves? Perhaps "sunrises" or "yellow cars" or "The Mad Monk." Whatever... Oh and one more pet peeve

11. PEOPLE NOT LEAVING COMMENTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION ANYMORE

Seriously folks. I have no problem making up states for future Wagonwheel Wednesdays.

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSOURI

And we're back with a Black President Elect in tow. Oh hell yes. No thanks to this "bell weather" state. It was very close but apparently the "show-me state" had more people who thought that lying, cheating, two-faced McCain was putting forth the goods. 6,000 or less people on the other hand went with Obama, knowing full well that the only thing McCain showed throughout this campaign was his hand, as it turned out was nothing more than a pair of 7's at best.

Enough about politics... actually first let me go..... OBAMA WINS!!!! HELL FUCKING YES YES YES YES.... As you may have noticed, there was no Topical Tuesday yesterday. I thought the day spoke for itself. So I posted nothing.

Now, no more about politics for today.

Other than too many Repubs, what does Missouri have to offer? There's the fine city of St. Louis, known for its Cardinals and Nelly. And that arch too. You know that thing is fucking huge? Way bigger in person than I ever imagined. You can actually take a ride inside the arch to the top. Too expensive for me to try but I love that that's even possible. My friend visited St. Louis once and he must've been really really high because he kept telling me how great the "archeS" were. Beyond the arch, St. Louis seemed a bit drab... Sorry Dan.

Missouri's other major city "Kansas City" is a massive shit hole. It's only redeeming value is that it has some really unbelievable barbecue. Oh my. Kansas City barbecue is THE SHIT. Maybe the best region for it in the country. My North Carolina friends would disagree and that's fine. But really, NC BBQ and KC BBQ are so so different that you can enjoy both without having to get all boasty about one or the other. Man I miss real barbecue. We never had it in Philly but I got spoiled by my travels around the country.

Other than BBQ, Kansas City is depressing and dangerous. The Royals are perhaps the shittiest franchise in sports. Not historically but in recent memory, pretty much constantly losing since 1995. The Chiefs are awful this year too. And you know what else sucks about KC? The city is named for a different state (which is also unfortunate for Kansas City, Kansas since they have the namesake but none of the shitty sports teams or the glory... actually, maybe it's better to be Kansas City, Kansas).

Kansas City is also notable as the place where I got off the train after learning that my dad had torn his kneecap from his knee.

The rest of Missouri is somewhat scenic, with rolling hills and farms. It's a pretty varied state, part Southern (they have some THICK accent in Joplin, MO) and part Midwestern. I even visited an impressive cave near Springfield, Missouri.

It's got a pretty great shape too.

MUSIC MONDAYS: A SAD NOTE

I was all prepared to talk about music today, this being Music Mondays and all. I was going to tell you about how I'm about to start going over all the album's of the year to determine my ten favorite. But then someone in my office told me that one of the agents we work with just found her assistant dead. I'd talked to this assistant before to set up meeting and the like. Not sure how old he was but it was most likely 20-something. I don't have any details but I'm too shook up to write a regular old Music Monday.

As a paranoid hypochondriac, who's also a very empathetic person, I internalize this sort of stuff in a major way. I always need the details. I'm reassured if I find out that the person in question had an existing condition, which is a natural way to think perhaps but still terrible all the same. Tragic news like this puts things like the election or my team winning the World Series into perspective. I think not only of my own fragile existence but all my loved ones and anyone who cares about another person.

Not that the people reading this blog knows this guy, but if nonetheless, I want to say, Daniel Abrams Rest In Peace... It seems odd to offer a peaceful afterlife to someone who I know so little about. I just read over an e-mail correspondence confirming a meeting my boss had with his boss' client and I realized that that's the only tangible relationship I have to this guy. We've spoken on the phone but I can't remember the sound of his voice. We never had business drinks or anything like that. I'm not sure if he was lean or large, bald or hairy, beautiful or plain. But does that matter? To the Abrams family, whom I know even less, and to all the assistants and agents I actually do know at APA, my thoughts go out to you.

Sorry for the bleak nature of my post. I needed to get it down.