Today I'm gonna pass the thinking off to you. In honor of the earthquake and McCain's Paris/Britney/Obama ad, we'll do it LA style, in the form of a quiz. Answers will be revealed next week. Whoever gets the most right will win a date with my wonderful pet owl Huggie. He's a bit wild, so if you think you're going to ace this test, be prepared to chase after him. Let's begin!
1. How many Chihuahuas are there in Los Angeles?
A) 1,000,000
B) 7,000
C) 59,000
D) 25,000
E) 150,000
2. How many Chihuahuas named "Princess" are there in LA?
A) 308
B) 1,262
C) 688
D) 3,701
E) 911
3. What year was my office building built (The tall black building on Fairfax and Wilshire- 6100)?
A) 1965
B) 1974
C) 1981
D) 1986
E) 1992
4. According to a 50-year old widow living in Park La Brea, the massive housing complex welcomed an influx of Korean residents because of which of the following:
A) LA city officials began limiting the number of Koreans allowed within the limits of Koreatown, stating that "more Korean residents may cause a separatist movement"
B) Koreans felt targeted after the LA riots and wanted to live within a gated community
C) Park La Brea wanted to put on a good face for the 1984 Olympic Commission since they knew the Olympics would soon be in Seoul, so they began to recruit Korean residents
D) A visit of Park La Brea by then South Korean President Kim Dae-jung revealed that almost no Koreans lived in Park La Brea. Outraged, President Kim threatened lawsuit and possible invasion unless measures were taken.
E) Chance.
5. Who is the first "celebrity" I saw in LA?
A) RuPaul
B) Jay Leno
C) Dr. Dre
D) Dana Carvey
E) Dr. Phil
6. Which Los Angeles location did I NOT see when I visited LA in 1991?
A) The Hollywood Bowl
B) La Brea Tar Pits
C) Universal Studios
D) The Hollywood Walk of Fame
E) The Peterson Automotive Museum
Ah, that's enough for now. I wanted to do more, but my job has me a bit swamped. If there's a tie, I'll throw out a tie breaker question next week...
PLEASE POST YOUR RESPONSES IN THE COMMENTS SECTION... AND NO CHEATING!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: ILLINOIS
And we're back!
Thanks again to Laurel for last week's monumental Hawaii entry. Now we're moving to somewhere a bit less exotic. Yes, you guessed it: Illinois. Like many Illinois travelers, my experience doesn't go far beyond the Chicago metro area. I'll hit on that in a second. First, the rest of the state.
Really no clue. I've driven through south-central Illinois and I've driven through southern Illinois. Not much to say about south-central Illinois since it was 2:00AM and I couldn't see anything. The truck stops were commodious and clean at least. There weren't many truck stops in southern Illinois though. Just farms. I went about 100 miles with no gas station. I had to get off the highway and explore a little farm town to keep the car going. I finally found a small gas station. You know, the kind that closes at 8:00.
So enough of all that. Dull unless you live there I guess.
Chicago on the other hand is a fantastic city. Great architecture, great food, great music. I've visited Chicago only a few times. I did spend a summer across the lake in Evanston. That's back when I wanted to act for a living. Ah, what a summer. We were each given plays to be in. About fifteen kids to a play. Mine was the worst. It was a Suffragette Movement play that featured clowns. I had to wear a little red nose and all. We took tumbling classes. Fucking hoot I tell you. All my friends said it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. But it was. Trust me. Clowns are annoying enough. Mediocre actors who think they're great pretending to be clowns? Ca-fucking-tastrophe.
Chicago gets a bum deal, mostly because of its weather. The winters are cold in real temperature but downright satanic if you include the wind chill. It's that mammoth lake. The lake literally has beaches for the summer that turn to ice fields in the winter. Not that the summers are pleasant. They can be, but when a heatwave hits, you may as well just camp out in the frozen section of your favorite supermarket. A vicious heatwave vanquished the region when I lived there. I was at Northwestern in an un-airconditioned dorm and holy shit. You see, the whole place is really insulated for the winter time. Meaning the humid air gets trapped and never leaves. Damn, what sad memories.
But if you can get over the weather, it's a city of many charms. A small town in a massive metropolis' body. Jen always hates on the place because it's "landlocked." To me Echo Park feels more landlocked than Chicago. Unless you've seen Lake Michigan, it's hard to get it fully. Chicago is not a landlocked city by any stretch. Sure, the sea is inland, but it's still a sea... Basically. And it's not like Jen likes the beach! She never goes in the water, and she hates sand. We'll visit one day and she'll see.
Not much else to report. It's worth mentioning that Brian over at Two Points Collapsing hails from outside Chicago. Let's give Brian a hand, shall we!
Oh and one more thing. For those who saw the Dark Knight (which is almost certainly everybody), Chicago is the stand-in for Gotham.
Thanks again to Laurel for last week's monumental Hawaii entry. Now we're moving to somewhere a bit less exotic. Yes, you guessed it: Illinois. Like many Illinois travelers, my experience doesn't go far beyond the Chicago metro area. I'll hit on that in a second. First, the rest of the state.
Really no clue. I've driven through south-central Illinois and I've driven through southern Illinois. Not much to say about south-central Illinois since it was 2:00AM and I couldn't see anything. The truck stops were commodious and clean at least. There weren't many truck stops in southern Illinois though. Just farms. I went about 100 miles with no gas station. I had to get off the highway and explore a little farm town to keep the car going. I finally found a small gas station. You know, the kind that closes at 8:00.
So enough of all that. Dull unless you live there I guess.
Chicago on the other hand is a fantastic city. Great architecture, great food, great music. I've visited Chicago only a few times. I did spend a summer across the lake in Evanston. That's back when I wanted to act for a living. Ah, what a summer. We were each given plays to be in. About fifteen kids to a play. Mine was the worst. It was a Suffragette Movement play that featured clowns. I had to wear a little red nose and all. We took tumbling classes. Fucking hoot I tell you. All my friends said it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. But it was. Trust me. Clowns are annoying enough. Mediocre actors who think they're great pretending to be clowns? Ca-fucking-tastrophe.
Chicago gets a bum deal, mostly because of its weather. The winters are cold in real temperature but downright satanic if you include the wind chill. It's that mammoth lake. The lake literally has beaches for the summer that turn to ice fields in the winter. Not that the summers are pleasant. They can be, but when a heatwave hits, you may as well just camp out in the frozen section of your favorite supermarket. A vicious heatwave vanquished the region when I lived there. I was at Northwestern in an un-airconditioned dorm and holy shit. You see, the whole place is really insulated for the winter time. Meaning the humid air gets trapped and never leaves. Damn, what sad memories.
But if you can get over the weather, it's a city of many charms. A small town in a massive metropolis' body. Jen always hates on the place because it's "landlocked." To me Echo Park feels more landlocked than Chicago. Unless you've seen Lake Michigan, it's hard to get it fully. Chicago is not a landlocked city by any stretch. Sure, the sea is inland, but it's still a sea... Basically. And it's not like Jen likes the beach! She never goes in the water, and she hates sand. We'll visit one day and she'll see.
Not much else to report. It's worth mentioning that Brian over at Two Points Collapsing hails from outside Chicago. Let's give Brian a hand, shall we!
Oh and one more thing. For those who saw the Dark Knight (which is almost certainly everybody), Chicago is the stand-in for Gotham.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: EVERY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA RESIDENT'S BLOG ENTRY
EARTH-QUAKE, EVERYBODY JUMP UP AND DOWN... EARTHQUAKE! THERE'S A BRAND NEW GROOVE GOING ROUND!
Okay fine, those aren't the lyrics to Housequake, but those are the lyrics to my Earthquake song. Please don't sue me, Prince. I'm sorta covering your song and making it my own, like you did with Creep.
But yes, today there was an earthquake in LA. Not a major one, but definitely the biggest one that's hit since I've moved here. I work on the 11th floor of a building, so I really felt it. Oh yes I did. The rollers they put under this building are no joke. It's like what it must be for a thumb sized man going through airport security.
I'm happy to say I was the first one out of the building. I hopped right up and went to the stairwell. Then down I went. A lot of people just stayed in their seats. I guess earthquakes are normal. But here's the thing, you shouldn't assume it's an earthquake! If the building's on rollers, it'll sway from an explosion too won't it? Maybe not. Nonetheless, I have some great survival extincts. Jen? Not so much. I told her that's her white blood. Luckily she has me to drag her out of the burning building.
Speaking of burning, once I got outside, I was pretty shocked to find the landscape positively quiescent. As I conquered each step, I prepared myself for horrific images. Charred cars and bloody shards swirling through the air. Oh well. They say that for the next 24 hours, there's a 5% chance that the big one can hit. Or at least a bigger one.
I hope my home is alright. Jen's afraid that the toys are all over the place. Perhaps. I know my pet owls are running amok. Toddlers love any excuse to act out.
Wow, this is like the post of two sentence paragraphs.
Maybe I should
Really
Drive
This
Point home.
Ah, poetry. It's all about how you place it on the p
....................................................a
.....................................................g
......................................................E
See what these quakes have done to my brain! Here's an interesting quake fact: unlike the movies, the earth doesn't crack and separate during an earthquake. I'm sure some old roads crumble a bit, but the pavement won't swallow you whole. A building could land on your head, or if you're a percussionist, a cowbell and some castanets. But you won't journey to the center of the earth.
The
CENTER
of the
.........EARTH...
Okay fine, those aren't the lyrics to Housequake, but those are the lyrics to my Earthquake song. Please don't sue me, Prince. I'm sorta covering your song and making it my own, like you did with Creep.
But yes, today there was an earthquake in LA. Not a major one, but definitely the biggest one that's hit since I've moved here. I work on the 11th floor of a building, so I really felt it. Oh yes I did. The rollers they put under this building are no joke. It's like what it must be for a thumb sized man going through airport security.
I'm happy to say I was the first one out of the building. I hopped right up and went to the stairwell. Then down I went. A lot of people just stayed in their seats. I guess earthquakes are normal. But here's the thing, you shouldn't assume it's an earthquake! If the building's on rollers, it'll sway from an explosion too won't it? Maybe not. Nonetheless, I have some great survival extincts. Jen? Not so much. I told her that's her white blood. Luckily she has me to drag her out of the burning building.
Speaking of burning, once I got outside, I was pretty shocked to find the landscape positively quiescent. As I conquered each step, I prepared myself for horrific images. Charred cars and bloody shards swirling through the air. Oh well. They say that for the next 24 hours, there's a 5% chance that the big one can hit. Or at least a bigger one.
I hope my home is alright. Jen's afraid that the toys are all over the place. Perhaps. I know my pet owls are running amok. Toddlers love any excuse to act out.
Wow, this is like the post of two sentence paragraphs.
Maybe I should
Really
Drive
This
Point home.
Ah, poetry. It's all about how you place it on the p
....................................................a
.....................................................g
......................................................E
See what these quakes have done to my brain! Here's an interesting quake fact: unlike the movies, the earth doesn't crack and separate during an earthquake. I'm sure some old roads crumble a bit, but the pavement won't swallow you whole. A building could land on your head, or if you're a percussionist, a cowbell and some castanets. But you won't journey to the center of the earth.
The
CENTER
of the
.........EARTH...
Monday, July 28, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: THE BEST OF CEE-LO GREEN
Ah happy Monday! I saw Gnarls Barkley last night at the bowl. It was pretty good, but the whole time I kept thinking about how much better Cee-Lo used to be. Sure he gets to really show his creativity in this format, but remember when this man used to rhyme!?
I saw Goodie Mob in '96 with The Roots and Grandmaster Flash. For those who don't know, Goodie Mob were/sorta still are the Atlanta based hip-hop group (cohorts of Outkast) where Cee-Lo got his start. This concert was... wow. Goodie Mob were absolutely mind blowing. Like they completely upstaged The Roots. It was a 10 piece band with back-up singers and all. Their first album Soul Food is a minor masterpiece of sorts. Their second album Still Standing was pretty damn eh. A few nice tunes, but overall a drop-off. Not as big a drop-off as their third album "World Party" though. With the except of maybe one song, that album is truly trash. Then Cee-Lo left and they released an album called "One Monkey Don't Stop No Show." They claim that this is in no way a reference to Cee-Lo... Look at the album cover though!
Cee-Lo patched things up and Goodie Mob is going to release another album one day, or so they say.
Cee-Lo's first solo album is quite good. "Closet Freak" was a blistering single I tell ya, blistering. His second album despite the title "Cee Lo Green is the Soul Machine" was actually pretty mediocre and not at all what you'd expect from a "Soul Machine." More like "Cee Lo Green is the C&C Music Factory." Okay, maybe not that bad.
Then he had some others stints with folks like Jazzy Pha and his least memorable moment, penning and producing "The Pussycat Dolls" DON'T CHA.
Let's focus on the highlights though... All pre-Gnarls, video heavy... enjoy
CELL THERAPY from Goodie Mob's "Soul Food"(Cee-Lo goes second... wild video too)
WATCH FOR THE HOOK Cool Breeze ft Goodie Mob and Outkast... There's some great rapid fire trading between Cee-Lo and hmmm not sure who that is. Cool Breeze maybe?
Now take a break and prepare yourself...
The best and perhaps most disturbing Cee-Lo video is "Gettin Grown" from his first solo album. A few people last night were saying how he looks like a giant baby. Well here he is seen with an adorable baby... oh and he dresses up as several Teletubbie like creatures that represent his various vices. Man. REQUIRED VIEWING... Of course none of the links let me embed... So just visit the site. It's worth it.
Also check out the Closet Freak video.
I saw Goodie Mob in '96 with The Roots and Grandmaster Flash. For those who don't know, Goodie Mob were/sorta still are the Atlanta based hip-hop group (cohorts of Outkast) where Cee-Lo got his start. This concert was... wow. Goodie Mob were absolutely mind blowing. Like they completely upstaged The Roots. It was a 10 piece band with back-up singers and all. Their first album Soul Food is a minor masterpiece of sorts. Their second album Still Standing was pretty damn eh. A few nice tunes, but overall a drop-off. Not as big a drop-off as their third album "World Party" though. With the except of maybe one song, that album is truly trash. Then Cee-Lo left and they released an album called "One Monkey Don't Stop No Show." They claim that this is in no way a reference to Cee-Lo... Look at the album cover though!
Cee-Lo patched things up and Goodie Mob is going to release another album one day, or so they say.
Cee-Lo's first solo album is quite good. "Closet Freak" was a blistering single I tell ya, blistering. His second album despite the title "Cee Lo Green is the Soul Machine" was actually pretty mediocre and not at all what you'd expect from a "Soul Machine." More like "Cee Lo Green is the C&C Music Factory." Okay, maybe not that bad.
Then he had some others stints with folks like Jazzy Pha and his least memorable moment, penning and producing "The Pussycat Dolls" DON'T CHA.
Let's focus on the highlights though... All pre-Gnarls, video heavy... enjoy
CELL THERAPY from Goodie Mob's "Soul Food"(Cee-Lo goes second... wild video too)
WATCH FOR THE HOOK Cool Breeze ft Goodie Mob and Outkast... There's some great rapid fire trading between Cee-Lo and hmmm not sure who that is. Cool Breeze maybe?
Now take a break and prepare yourself...
The best and perhaps most disturbing Cee-Lo video is "Gettin Grown" from his first solo album. A few people last night were saying how he looks like a giant baby. Well here he is seen with an adorable baby... oh and he dresses up as several Teletubbie like creatures that represent his various vices. Man. REQUIRED VIEWING... Of course none of the links let me embed... So just visit the site. It's worth it.
Also check out the Closet Freak video.
Friday, July 25, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: uh...
I would've never guessed this when I first divvied up the blog, but I've been having a real hell of a time with Friendly Fridays. Maybe it's because Cute Overload already has a lock on the warm and fuzzy. I'm not sure what to do. Here are the options as I see them:
A) Change Fridays. Ferocious Fridays or Fuck Fridays or Football Fridays. Hmm the last isn't a bad idea once Football season actually starts...
B) I can stop blogging altogether on Fridays. Hmm, kinda weak.
C) I can search out cute things... Like go into a Google images and type "Cute ________"
Like Cute hyena
Eh, not so cute... I didn't realize that hyenas were such monstrous animals. Damn.
How about Cute Vulture
HOW IS THAT CUTE? The caption on the page I found this says "cute vulture." I know adorability is in the eye of the beholder, but whoever thinks this is cute has some fucked up eyes. Like drunk drivers who swear the light was green.
I guess this vulture is sorta cute. As cute as vultures can get at least.
Damn. See why I'm so disillusioned here?
Now THIS is cute...
Baby Alex drinking water. It wouldn't have been cute had I fallen and cracked my head open though. IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS! No no, I'm just kidding. My parents are wonderful and more responsible than most. Yeah they gave me cigarettes as a boy, but it was the eighties, people didn't know better.
So where does this leave our Friendly Fridays? Let me think about it over the weekend... I'd appreciate your thoughts on the matter.
A) Change Fridays. Ferocious Fridays or Fuck Fridays or Football Fridays. Hmm the last isn't a bad idea once Football season actually starts...
B) I can stop blogging altogether on Fridays. Hmm, kinda weak.
C) I can search out cute things... Like go into a Google images and type "Cute ________"
Like Cute hyena
Eh, not so cute... I didn't realize that hyenas were such monstrous animals. Damn.
How about Cute Vulture
HOW IS THAT CUTE? The caption on the page I found this says "cute vulture." I know adorability is in the eye of the beholder, but whoever thinks this is cute has some fucked up eyes. Like drunk drivers who swear the light was green.
I guess this vulture is sorta cute. As cute as vultures can get at least.
Damn. See why I'm so disillusioned here?
Now THIS is cute...
Baby Alex drinking water. It wouldn't have been cute had I fallen and cracked my head open though. IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS! No no, I'm just kidding. My parents are wonderful and more responsible than most. Yeah they gave me cigarettes as a boy, but it was the eighties, people didn't know better.
So where does this leave our Friendly Fridays? Let me think about it over the weekend... I'd appreciate your thoughts on the matter.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: LOST STATES AND ANDY ROONEY
You know what I find amazing? States that almost were. I realize that last sentence doesn't make much sense. But it really does if you know where I'm coming from. Like madmen who think the rest of the world is insane... I'm serious! STATES THAT ALMOST WERE... See, there are a few states, as in United States (not states of mind for instance) that don't exist but ALMOST existed. Like the State of Franklin in East Tennessee. Today I read a great article about a proposed state that would have encompassed part of Wyoming, Montana and South Dakota. As you'll see in the article, the state of Absaroka may've just been some cowboy tall tale. Or maybe it was closer than that. Who knows. Not sure how many Wyomans could read or write in the 1930s to give a realistic account.
Enough of all that state talk though. This isn't Wednesday. I'm going to search to try to find a list of all proposed states and on Wednesday I'll fill you in... But in the meantime, a word on Andy Rooney. As my original readers know, Thoughtful Thursdays was supposed to be my Andy Rooney day of the week. That quickly ended since rants get a bit old after a minute or so. Don't worry, I'm not going to start ranting. But I am going to talk about Andy Rooney for a minute. He's a pretty intriguing dude. Not because he has anything worthwhile to say, but rather because he's such an easy target. I went to YouTube to search for some old videos of Andy Rooney, mainly because I can't imagine this guy as a young man and I was pretty surprised by what I found. I couldn't find any useful vintage Rooney footage, but there were hundreds of Rooney parodies. My this man has quite an eclectic base of mimics. Everyone makes fun of him. Even kids! There was this 10 year old doing an Andy Rooney impression. Let me see if I can find him.
Yes. Here he is!
Amazing.
Why aren't there clips of Mr. Rooney from his old TV shows? I had this romantic picture of the old Andy Rooney, back when he was a dashing hungry reporter, stealing women's hearts from coast to coast. But nothing. I did have the chance to rewatch this classic Andy Rooney/Ali G encounter though:
I don't know what else I can say... It takes a lot to make me laugh. I'm a bit of a serious guy. But that shit is FUCKING HILARIOUS. I could watch that every day and never get bored.
Andy Rooney and Ali G need a show together. But Sacha Baron-Cohen's retired the roll, so I guess I'll just have to imagine my own version.
Shit, I'm hungry. All I had was a salad. That's never enough. It fills me up for about a minute. Unless it's a cheeseburger salad on a bun with no lettuce. That's delicious. Rib salad without lettuce or any other vegetables other than corn on the cob is quite good too. But salad salad? I'm a growing boy damn it! Give me my meals!!
Enough of all that state talk though. This isn't Wednesday. I'm going to search to try to find a list of all proposed states and on Wednesday I'll fill you in... But in the meantime, a word on Andy Rooney. As my original readers know, Thoughtful Thursdays was supposed to be my Andy Rooney day of the week. That quickly ended since rants get a bit old after a minute or so. Don't worry, I'm not going to start ranting. But I am going to talk about Andy Rooney for a minute. He's a pretty intriguing dude. Not because he has anything worthwhile to say, but rather because he's such an easy target. I went to YouTube to search for some old videos of Andy Rooney, mainly because I can't imagine this guy as a young man and I was pretty surprised by what I found. I couldn't find any useful vintage Rooney footage, but there were hundreds of Rooney parodies. My this man has quite an eclectic base of mimics. Everyone makes fun of him. Even kids! There was this 10 year old doing an Andy Rooney impression. Let me see if I can find him.
Yes. Here he is!
Amazing.
Why aren't there clips of Mr. Rooney from his old TV shows? I had this romantic picture of the old Andy Rooney, back when he was a dashing hungry reporter, stealing women's hearts from coast to coast. But nothing. I did have the chance to rewatch this classic Andy Rooney/Ali G encounter though:
I don't know what else I can say... It takes a lot to make me laugh. I'm a bit of a serious guy. But that shit is FUCKING HILARIOUS. I could watch that every day and never get bored.
Andy Rooney and Ali G need a show together. But Sacha Baron-Cohen's retired the roll, so I guess I'll just have to imagine my own version.
Shit, I'm hungry. All I had was a salad. That's never enough. It fills me up for about a minute. Unless it's a cheeseburger salad on a bun with no lettuce. That's delicious. Rib salad without lettuce or any other vegetables other than corn on the cob is quite good too. But salad salad? I'm a growing boy damn it! Give me my meals!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: HAWAII
AH!!! Alex felt so bad that he skipped over Hawaii that he visited it last week just so he could write a Wagonwheel: Hawaii! ... Uh, no. Not quite. A fellow blogger, friend, traveler, etc over at Blinking Against the Brightness offered to a guest entry!
For one, I'm impressed that she even offered. Clearly this is someone who cares a great deal about Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Second, she did a damn damn good job. Maybe so good that I'll have to have her do all the Wagonwheel Wednesdays from now... Okay maybe not. I'd feel like a quitter. But that doesn't change the fact that her entry is wonderful. Amazing pictures (to be expected from a photographer I guess) but also a real understanding of what makes the wagon wheels spin so to speak.
Here are some things to look out for.
1. Hawaii looks mysteriously like the island on Lost... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... interesting.
2. Look at that crazy animal! Hawaii's worth it just for those beasts alone. Mainland America has cows and dogs and cats. Hawaii has snarling monsters!
3. Look at that map of Hawaii! It's like 8 states in one!
But enough of my recap. See for yourself..... WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: HAWAII!
I shall return next week with a state I actually have been to... Illinois I believe...
For one, I'm impressed that she even offered. Clearly this is someone who cares a great deal about Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Second, she did a damn damn good job. Maybe so good that I'll have to have her do all the Wagonwheel Wednesdays from now... Okay maybe not. I'd feel like a quitter. But that doesn't change the fact that her entry is wonderful. Amazing pictures (to be expected from a photographer I guess) but also a real understanding of what makes the wagon wheels spin so to speak.
Here are some things to look out for.
1. Hawaii looks mysteriously like the island on Lost... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... interesting.
2. Look at that crazy animal! Hawaii's worth it just for those beasts alone. Mainland America has cows and dogs and cats. Hawaii has snarling monsters!
3. Look at that map of Hawaii! It's like 8 states in one!
But enough of my recap. See for yourself..... WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: HAWAII!
I shall return next week with a state I actually have been to... Illinois I believe...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Topical Tuesdays: ALEX NOW HAS 9.98 FINGERS
Not sure if this is "topical" exactly but I've been applying topical ointment because of this story so I think it qualifies.
Last night I decided to make mashed potatoes. I wanted to make them really delicious so I looked up a recipe as I waited in line at the store. According to this recipe, Yukon Gold potatoes are the best ones to use because of their medium starch and water level. So I got out of line, returned my Tim Russerts (RIP) and got some Yukons. Then I realized I also needed some cream. So I got back out of line again and got cream and milk. This was all in the storied Rock N Roll Ralph's mind you. What a disastrous place. It's as if they took a bus to the latest poor man's Hyde, loaded up the clientele and dumped them in the supermarket. I accidentally bumped into a woman and this dude who sounded eerily similar to Christian on Project Runway just shouted out "EXCUSE YOU!" I felt like I was in a cartoon.
After I finally left, I went home and prepared the potatoes for peeling. I realized I had no vegetable peeler, so I did the next best thing and got a cheese slicer. Not one of the graters with lots of holes but one of those spade looking things that you run on top a block of cheese to get perfectly thin cracker compatible slices. The first few potatoes went fine. Then the blade slipped off the potato and took a 2mm or so chunk out of my right middle finger. At first I though it was just a cut but once I cleaned up the initial pool of blood, I saw the full divot. The crater if you will.
It kept bleeding and bleeding. Sort of like the time I tried to cut my old Super Nintendo controller in half with a Swiss army knife, only to use the wrong side of the blade and end up with a knife in my ring finger. It was actually rather wild. Blood shot out of my finger like a super soaker. Some even hit the ceiling. The pain was bearable too! So bearable in fact that I wondered why Hollywood directors didn't cut cast members to make films more realistic. New meaning to the phrase "your scene got cut." A rather callow thought now that I think about it...
I still have the scar from the Nintendo controller. Without a doubt this'll leave a scar too. Hey maybe I can finally pretend that I got a few nicks in a knife fight. Fuck yes. Street cred here I come!
Last night I decided to make mashed potatoes. I wanted to make them really delicious so I looked up a recipe as I waited in line at the store. According to this recipe, Yukon Gold potatoes are the best ones to use because of their medium starch and water level. So I got out of line, returned my Tim Russerts (RIP) and got some Yukons. Then I realized I also needed some cream. So I got back out of line again and got cream and milk. This was all in the storied Rock N Roll Ralph's mind you. What a disastrous place. It's as if they took a bus to the latest poor man's Hyde, loaded up the clientele and dumped them in the supermarket. I accidentally bumped into a woman and this dude who sounded eerily similar to Christian on Project Runway just shouted out "EXCUSE YOU!" I felt like I was in a cartoon.
After I finally left, I went home and prepared the potatoes for peeling. I realized I had no vegetable peeler, so I did the next best thing and got a cheese slicer. Not one of the graters with lots of holes but one of those spade looking things that you run on top a block of cheese to get perfectly thin cracker compatible slices. The first few potatoes went fine. Then the blade slipped off the potato and took a 2mm or so chunk out of my right middle finger. At first I though it was just a cut but once I cleaned up the initial pool of blood, I saw the full divot. The crater if you will.
It kept bleeding and bleeding. Sort of like the time I tried to cut my old Super Nintendo controller in half with a Swiss army knife, only to use the wrong side of the blade and end up with a knife in my ring finger. It was actually rather wild. Blood shot out of my finger like a super soaker. Some even hit the ceiling. The pain was bearable too! So bearable in fact that I wondered why Hollywood directors didn't cut cast members to make films more realistic. New meaning to the phrase "your scene got cut." A rather callow thought now that I think about it...
I still have the scar from the Nintendo controller. Without a doubt this'll leave a scar too. Hey maybe I can finally pretend that I got a few nicks in a knife fight. Fuck yes. Street cred here I come!
Monday, July 21, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: OUT OF BREATH
First, sorry for no Friendly Friday. You see I saw Batman the night before at midnight and if you've seen it, you probably know, you don't exactly feel "Friendly" afterwards. I was thinking maybe I'd do a Sadistic Saturday in honor of the wonderful DARK KNIGHT, but then I got concerned that the masochists amongst you would enjoy Sadistic Saturday so much that you'd beg and beg until I had to add it to the lineup, and I just don't have time for that.
Today's MM will actually focus on something that happened yesterday that's not entirely music related. But it's close enough... Let me continue. Last night I went to see Sharon Jones and Feist at the Hollywood Bowl. I packed up some leftover pasta and met a few friends for a little picnic. A couple minutes before the scheduled start time, someone brought the subject of tickets to my attention. I had been under the impression that the group's leader Amanda had all the tickets. But no. Apparently she gave me my tickets a few weeks before at my housewarming party. Of course the only thing I remember about my housewarming party is my excitement over finally having almost enough varieties of alcohol to make a long island iced tea.
I'm known to leave tickets at home. I've done it for a good four or five shows in my life. I don't think I'll ever learn. Luckily, I have a ticket machine named Jen who will always have my tickets. But when the ticket machine leaves town, it's a bit of problem... Usually it's simple. Jen will hold onto the tickets and then we'll go to the show and she'll give me my ticket at the door. But Jen was out of town!! I'm helpless you see. I need to be coddled. I need to be dressed. I definitely need my tickets handed to me! In fact, I needed a lunch box packed for me for the picnic with a triangularly cut sandwich, a piece of cheese and a juice box. But no. Nothing. NOTHING. Maybe this is Jen's way of saying "grow up, Alex!"
I panicked a bit. Neil and Amanda offered to chip in five bucks each for me to buy another ticket from a scalper, but I couldn't stand to see money wasted in this economy. So I did what any responsible person would do, I ran home. Now don't get it twisted, I don't live that far. Still, running there and back in like twenty minutes, plus having to search around for the tickets, is no easy task. I got back in time though! Right before Sharon Jones came onto the stage to melt the audience into a mass of dripping funk juice. Yum. Mixed well with my sweaty shirt.
A couple of my other friends who arrived around the same time apparently also forgot their tickets. But they were on an air conditioned bus. They tried to laugh off my situation too, saying I lived so close and this was no big deal. Now I do live pretty close, but I just looked it up and it's still over a mile each way. You try running 2+ miles after having worked out for 30 minutes earlier in the day, walked a mile to the venue and had a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine. Not that fucking easy!
I do feel stronger for it though. It's as if I really earned last night's show. I think if Feist had known she would've called me up on the stage to perform a song with her. Eh, maybe I'd rather perform with Sharon Jones. They were both quite good, I'd be happy to perform with either.
Today's MM will actually focus on something that happened yesterday that's not entirely music related. But it's close enough... Let me continue. Last night I went to see Sharon Jones and Feist at the Hollywood Bowl. I packed up some leftover pasta and met a few friends for a little picnic. A couple minutes before the scheduled start time, someone brought the subject of tickets to my attention. I had been under the impression that the group's leader Amanda had all the tickets. But no. Apparently she gave me my tickets a few weeks before at my housewarming party. Of course the only thing I remember about my housewarming party is my excitement over finally having almost enough varieties of alcohol to make a long island iced tea.
I'm known to leave tickets at home. I've done it for a good four or five shows in my life. I don't think I'll ever learn. Luckily, I have a ticket machine named Jen who will always have my tickets. But when the ticket machine leaves town, it's a bit of problem... Usually it's simple. Jen will hold onto the tickets and then we'll go to the show and she'll give me my ticket at the door. But Jen was out of town!! I'm helpless you see. I need to be coddled. I need to be dressed. I definitely need my tickets handed to me! In fact, I needed a lunch box packed for me for the picnic with a triangularly cut sandwich, a piece of cheese and a juice box. But no. Nothing. NOTHING. Maybe this is Jen's way of saying "grow up, Alex!"
I panicked a bit. Neil and Amanda offered to chip in five bucks each for me to buy another ticket from a scalper, but I couldn't stand to see money wasted in this economy. So I did what any responsible person would do, I ran home. Now don't get it twisted, I don't live that far. Still, running there and back in like twenty minutes, plus having to search around for the tickets, is no easy task. I got back in time though! Right before Sharon Jones came onto the stage to melt the audience into a mass of dripping funk juice. Yum. Mixed well with my sweaty shirt.
A couple of my other friends who arrived around the same time apparently also forgot their tickets. But they were on an air conditioned bus. They tried to laugh off my situation too, saying I lived so close and this was no big deal. Now I do live pretty close, but I just looked it up and it's still over a mile each way. You try running 2+ miles after having worked out for 30 minutes earlier in the day, walked a mile to the venue and had a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine. Not that fucking easy!
I do feel stronger for it though. It's as if I really earned last night's show. I think if Feist had known she would've called me up on the stage to perform a song with her. Eh, maybe I'd rather perform with Sharon Jones. They were both quite good, I'd be happy to perform with either.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: QUOTES
For years now my mother has been sending me daily e-mails with a quote of the day. I always thought this was some huge national list she subscribed to. Things like this exist, I know. But this one was actually just some Philly lawyer who did it in his spare time. Today I thought I'd write her a quote back. And that got me thinking, maybe it's time for a new "Poor Richard's Almanac." Ben Franklin can't have a claim on all clever phrases. We need to write our own quotes! Then perhaps one of us can have our words chiseled into some city monument somewhere. Or on a gravestone if you like to dwell on the macabre.
I'll do my part. I'm not claiming to be Franklin's equal or anything, but I can try, at least. Here's the first quote I wrote back to my mom: "Quotes are constant reminders that there are people smarter than you or I."
Then I came up with this one, which has a dual meaning for anyone who knows the now four year-old owl Hugs: "A hug is worth only as much as its recipient."
Here are a few more that I'm thinking of on the fly... At the very least I hope to find some of these words on a Yearbook page one day.
"...." Um mind's blank... I need coffee... Okay here we go..
"Coffee knows no resistance, save for the pillow's choking hands." Zzzzzzzzz
"Pandas are cute" -Alexander Pudlin
"You will never carry a mountain unless you get many more hands" -A. Robert Pudlin
Speaking of hands...
"A handful of nuts is not necessarily what you're thinking" -Anonymous (Pudlin)
How about this one...
"Those who desire to live alone will die with a bunch of inanimate objects for friends"
Okay enough of all that... A quote book shall come out soon in case you want more...
I'll do my part. I'm not claiming to be Franklin's equal or anything, but I can try, at least. Here's the first quote I wrote back to my mom: "Quotes are constant reminders that there are people smarter than you or I."
Then I came up with this one, which has a dual meaning for anyone who knows the now four year-old owl Hugs: "A hug is worth only as much as its recipient."
Here are a few more that I'm thinking of on the fly... At the very least I hope to find some of these words on a Yearbook page one day.
"...." Um mind's blank... I need coffee... Okay here we go..
"Coffee knows no resistance, save for the pillow's choking hands." Zzzzzzzzz
"Pandas are cute" -Alexander Pudlin
"You will never carry a mountain unless you get many more hands" -A. Robert Pudlin
Speaking of hands...
"A handful of nuts is not necessarily what you're thinking" -Anonymous (Pudlin)
How about this one...
"Those who desire to live alone will die with a bunch of inanimate objects for friends"
Okay enough of all that... A quote book shall come out soon in case you want more...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: IDAHO
For those of you who know the alphabet and states inside out, you may be wondering, "what about Hawaii?" Well, I haven't been. It's one of two states (HI and Alaska) that have never received Alex's presence. Once I go to Hawaii, I'll Wagonwheel about it right away. Ooh you like that? Wagonwheel is now a verb too.
I'm going to introduce a new element to our Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Before I even give you my account of the state, I'll show you the state flag, the most recent state license plate and offer you a few fun facts. I know, I know, I'm a kind motherfucker.
FLAG
That flag looks sort of like the PA flag, at least in color scheme. It's fine. Very flag-like. Nothing wild. The license plate is a bit nicer though
Priceless how it says "scenic." Luckily for the plate creators, the scenic part is true. Idaho is a breathtaking state... But before I tell you why, how about some more fun facts?
Nickname: The Gem State and also The Spud State (for the potatoes not the old Bud dog)
Size: 14th Biggest in Area, 39th Biggest in Population (not a very good ratio)
Entrance to Union: July 3, 1890, 43rd State... So in Idaho they celebrate July 3rd and July 4th. Damn, I need to check that out next year.
State Flower: I don't care
State Bird: I don't care... but Hugs will be mad if I don't care, and today is his birthday (Happy 4 year old birthday Huggie!) so let's see... Mountain bluebird...
State Dance: Since when do states have dances? Amazing... It's the square dance. Not a bad one.
Now onto Idaho, from Alex perspective...
I've always loved Idaho's shape, even as a wee one. So it was great finally getting to visit. I've been to Idaho twice now. Well really once, but two separate times in the same trip. Once on my way to Montana and once leaving Montana on my way to Washington. Although Idaho has no true national parks (but does have some national monuments and national scenic areas, etc), it's a lovely state with several breathtaking drives and sights to please the eyeballs. From the canyons carved by the snake river to Lake Coeur d'Alene, Idaho is worth more than just a state to drive through. It's a destination. Ha, that's lame, I know.
Boise isn't a half bad city. On my way from Wyoming, my car began to go a bit nuts. I made it to the Volvo dealer in Boise just in time (really the only Volvo dealer within hundreds of miles). They gave me a ride to the hotel and picked me up in the morning. I think I got sun-tan lotion or something in my eye because as I walked around Boise, the damn thing began to water and sting and puff. I dripped some Visine into it and it returned to normal. So the first few hours in Boise, I couldn't really see shit. But once I could see, I was pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, Boise will never be confused with New York. But by rural Northwest (but not coastal WA or Oregon Northwest) standards it's pretty impressive. I even ate at a Thai restaurant. How fucking global of them.
On my second swing through Idaho, I only shot through the panhandle. I was a bit nervous about this part because I went through Coeur d'Alene, which is one of the white supremacist capitals of the country. Aryan Nation or something had a compound here. I was fine though. The panhandle's pretty great. Maybe the best panhandle in the United States. During one stretch, the Interstate just shoots through the mountains, the road a mere tightrope above nature. I think we may've encountered hail.
Also worth mentioning is that Built to Spill is from here. Great band if you haven't heard. Oh and the potatoes! I stopped in this tiny town and had a mammoth potatoe stuffed with butter and cheese. Then I had another. I knew Idaho exported a ton of potatoes but they can cook the hell out of one too. It's worth visiting just for that.
Now let's see if I can remember the routes I took...
I'm going to introduce a new element to our Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Before I even give you my account of the state, I'll show you the state flag, the most recent state license plate and offer you a few fun facts. I know, I know, I'm a kind motherfucker.
FLAG
That flag looks sort of like the PA flag, at least in color scheme. It's fine. Very flag-like. Nothing wild. The license plate is a bit nicer though
Priceless how it says "scenic." Luckily for the plate creators, the scenic part is true. Idaho is a breathtaking state... But before I tell you why, how about some more fun facts?
Nickname: The Gem State and also The Spud State (for the potatoes not the old Bud dog)
Size: 14th Biggest in Area, 39th Biggest in Population (not a very good ratio)
Entrance to Union: July 3, 1890, 43rd State... So in Idaho they celebrate July 3rd and July 4th. Damn, I need to check that out next year.
State Flower: I don't care
State Bird: I don't care... but Hugs will be mad if I don't care, and today is his birthday (Happy 4 year old birthday Huggie!) so let's see... Mountain bluebird...
State Dance: Since when do states have dances? Amazing... It's the square dance. Not a bad one.
Now onto Idaho, from Alex perspective...
I've always loved Idaho's shape, even as a wee one. So it was great finally getting to visit. I've been to Idaho twice now. Well really once, but two separate times in the same trip. Once on my way to Montana and once leaving Montana on my way to Washington. Although Idaho has no true national parks (but does have some national monuments and national scenic areas, etc), it's a lovely state with several breathtaking drives and sights to please the eyeballs. From the canyons carved by the snake river to Lake Coeur d'Alene, Idaho is worth more than just a state to drive through. It's a destination. Ha, that's lame, I know.
Boise isn't a half bad city. On my way from Wyoming, my car began to go a bit nuts. I made it to the Volvo dealer in Boise just in time (really the only Volvo dealer within hundreds of miles). They gave me a ride to the hotel and picked me up in the morning. I think I got sun-tan lotion or something in my eye because as I walked around Boise, the damn thing began to water and sting and puff. I dripped some Visine into it and it returned to normal. So the first few hours in Boise, I couldn't really see shit. But once I could see, I was pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, Boise will never be confused with New York. But by rural Northwest (but not coastal WA or Oregon Northwest) standards it's pretty impressive. I even ate at a Thai restaurant. How fucking global of them.
On my second swing through Idaho, I only shot through the panhandle. I was a bit nervous about this part because I went through Coeur d'Alene, which is one of the white supremacist capitals of the country. Aryan Nation or something had a compound here. I was fine though. The panhandle's pretty great. Maybe the best panhandle in the United States. During one stretch, the Interstate just shoots through the mountains, the road a mere tightrope above nature. I think we may've encountered hail.
Also worth mentioning is that Built to Spill is from here. Great band if you haven't heard. Oh and the potatoes! I stopped in this tiny town and had a mammoth potatoe stuffed with butter and cheese. Then I had another. I knew Idaho exported a ton of potatoes but they can cook the hell out of one too. It's worth visiting just for that.
Now let's see if I can remember the routes I took...
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS:
TWO OLD WOMEN GO TO JAIL FOR LIFE
This story blows me away. I remember when I read about it a few months back, I thought that it happened in Germany or Prague or something. Pretty nuts that it's right here in good ole LA. Basically these two old women (75 and 77) lured two homeless men into their lives romantically, got them to take out life insurance policies and then ran them over with a car, collecting 2 million bucks. This probably isn't news to most of you. It's all over the headlines because they finally got convicted. What I can't understand is this whole "Life in Prison" thing. It sounds awful when you're 20, but when you're 75 or 77? That could be a one year sentence. Fifteen years tops. And prison has to be better than a nursing home. At least it can't be any worse.
STIMULUS ROUND II
I haven't even received my damn stimulus check and they're already talking about more stimulus checks. At least the Dems are. Hey, I'm not about to fight free money. It would be nice to get my first check though. According to their bullshit schedule it was supposed to come two months ago.
SOMETHING I'M FORGETTING
I had a great topic to talk about today. The perfect sort of entry for a mid-summer day. But then I forgot. I'm thinking long and hard about everything that happened today and I have no clue what I was going to write about... So in the meantime, an ethical question... Would it be wrong to serve John McCain's neck for Thanksgiving? Maybe that depends on whether he loses, since election night is only a few weeks earlier... Seriously that neck is too much. Don't people understand that in four years, HD TVs will be the norm. The State of the Union in HD? Do you really want to see McCain in HD? Please. If we're already doomed to have our daughters starve themselves trying to look like the pre-pregnant Angie Jolie, then can we at least have an attractive president while we're at it? Not that Obama's the sexiest dude ever, but he's a fucking Fabio compared to McCain. Yum, Fabio.
THE RINGLEADER
THE OTHER KILLER
This story blows me away. I remember when I read about it a few months back, I thought that it happened in Germany or Prague or something. Pretty nuts that it's right here in good ole LA. Basically these two old women (75 and 77) lured two homeless men into their lives romantically, got them to take out life insurance policies and then ran them over with a car, collecting 2 million bucks. This probably isn't news to most of you. It's all over the headlines because they finally got convicted. What I can't understand is this whole "Life in Prison" thing. It sounds awful when you're 20, but when you're 75 or 77? That could be a one year sentence. Fifteen years tops. And prison has to be better than a nursing home. At least it can't be any worse.
STIMULUS ROUND II
I haven't even received my damn stimulus check and they're already talking about more stimulus checks. At least the Dems are. Hey, I'm not about to fight free money. It would be nice to get my first check though. According to their bullshit schedule it was supposed to come two months ago.
SOMETHING I'M FORGETTING
I had a great topic to talk about today. The perfect sort of entry for a mid-summer day. But then I forgot. I'm thinking long and hard about everything that happened today and I have no clue what I was going to write about... So in the meantime, an ethical question... Would it be wrong to serve John McCain's neck for Thanksgiving? Maybe that depends on whether he loses, since election night is only a few weeks earlier... Seriously that neck is too much. Don't people understand that in four years, HD TVs will be the norm. The State of the Union in HD? Do you really want to see McCain in HD? Please. If we're already doomed to have our daughters starve themselves trying to look like the pre-pregnant Angie Jolie, then can we at least have an attractive president while we're at it? Not that Obama's the sexiest dude ever, but he's a fucking Fabio compared to McCain. Yum, Fabio.
THE RINGLEADER
THE OTHER KILLER
Monday, July 14, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: ROCK STAR HALLOWEEN
There's a joke that people like to repeat from time to time about Michael Jackson. Actually it's not so much a joke as it is an attempt at a comical statement. Sometimes it's "Back when Michael was Black" or perhaps it's "Michael Jackson is an alien." While I think MJ is fair game for jokes, I don't personally believe he's either an alien or a white man. What I find so fascinating is that this sort of thought process about Michael Jackson translates into tons and tons of Michael Jackson costumes come Halloween time.
I know a thing or two about Halloween music icon costumes, since I attempted to go as Prince one year. It didn't quite work out that well because someone had stolen the top half of the Purple Rain costume. Instead all I had was a wig and some purple pants. I did my best but when I got pulled over by the cops at the Pentagon they had no idea who I was. (Very long but very true story).
It got me thinking of some of the more obscure Rock and Pop figures who nonetheless have distinct styles. So even though we're several months early for Halloween, consider this a preliminary guide to music costumes that'll have everyone saying "who are you supposed to be?" This obviously doesn't include your Elton Johns or David Bowies or George Clintons since they are not exactly obscure.
LEON RUSSELL
If you don't know this nutball singer-songwriter's fantastically eclectic oeuvre, you probably know some of the songs he wrote. "Superstar" "This Masquerade" "Song for Your" to name a few. You could be retro and go as 70s Leon or up the mystique and go as Leon now.
70s
Now
SCREAMIN JAY HAWKINS
I'm sure you've heard "I Put A Spell On You" in commercials. He's one of those beloved cult singers actually worth the hype. Voodoo swamp music. Damn good shit, and a damn good look.
SUN RA
The genius Jazz/R&B pianist/bandleader from another planet. Depending on the time frame, he had a vast array of looks. Usually there was some sort of Egyptian motif though.
BETTY DAVIS
Miles Davis' one-time wife (and influence on his funk fusion sound). Betty is possibly the funkiest artist in the history of funk. Yeah that's a huge statement, especially with the Sly Stones and Funkadelics of the world. Not saying she's the best, but in terms of funk by the pound, she may have the crown. Just as Allen Iverson is the best pound-for-pound baller of all time, Betty Davis is pound-for-pound funkiest singer ever.
Please post other costume ideas in the comments section, unless of course your idea is Devendra Banhart
I know a thing or two about Halloween music icon costumes, since I attempted to go as Prince one year. It didn't quite work out that well because someone had stolen the top half of the Purple Rain costume. Instead all I had was a wig and some purple pants. I did my best but when I got pulled over by the cops at the Pentagon they had no idea who I was. (Very long but very true story).
It got me thinking of some of the more obscure Rock and Pop figures who nonetheless have distinct styles. So even though we're several months early for Halloween, consider this a preliminary guide to music costumes that'll have everyone saying "who are you supposed to be?" This obviously doesn't include your Elton Johns or David Bowies or George Clintons since they are not exactly obscure.
LEON RUSSELL
If you don't know this nutball singer-songwriter's fantastically eclectic oeuvre, you probably know some of the songs he wrote. "Superstar" "This Masquerade" "Song for Your" to name a few. You could be retro and go as 70s Leon or up the mystique and go as Leon now.
70s
Now
SCREAMIN JAY HAWKINS
I'm sure you've heard "I Put A Spell On You" in commercials. He's one of those beloved cult singers actually worth the hype. Voodoo swamp music. Damn good shit, and a damn good look.
SUN RA
The genius Jazz/R&B pianist/bandleader from another planet. Depending on the time frame, he had a vast array of looks. Usually there was some sort of Egyptian motif though.
BETTY DAVIS
Miles Davis' one-time wife (and influence on his funk fusion sound). Betty is possibly the funkiest artist in the history of funk. Yeah that's a huge statement, especially with the Sly Stones and Funkadelics of the world. Not saying she's the best, but in terms of funk by the pound, she may have the crown. Just as Allen Iverson is the best pound-for-pound baller of all time, Betty Davis is pound-for-pound funkiest singer ever.
Please post other costume ideas in the comments section, unless of course your idea is Devendra Banhart
Friday, July 11, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: COLORING SESAME!
The other day I made a DVD for my friend Rick of the Nathan's Hot Dog contest. Rick's friend Kevin was competing in the contest and he didn't have cable. I wanted to make it a bit special, so I drew a picture of a person eating a hot dog and then wrote "Hot Dog." I did some fancy lettering to send it over the top. Most of the letters came natural, but I was a bit perplexed about how to do a "G." So I googled "G." The first thing that came up was a COLOR YOUR OWN OSCAR THE GROUCH!
I clicked on the page and it led me to several other Sesame Street images to color. It's wonderful, but I found a few things a bit odd. For instance, they have about 8 Elmo images and 3 or 4 cookie monsters but not one Snuffy. No honkers either. Couldn't they have done 7 Elmos and 1 Snuffy? Then there's the glaring omission of even a single picture with both Bert and Ernie it. Did they break up or something?
Still, there's a few stellar images. Perfect for a kid or a kid-at-heart. Perhaps the most amazing picture is this one of The Count. Look at the bats, they look just like Cookie Monster!
I wanted to see if The Count's bats always looked like Cookie Monster.
I couldn't find anything definitive. I found a pretty cool old clip The Count meeting cooking monster though.
I clicked on the page and it led me to several other Sesame Street images to color. It's wonderful, but I found a few things a bit odd. For instance, they have about 8 Elmo images and 3 or 4 cookie monsters but not one Snuffy. No honkers either. Couldn't they have done 7 Elmos and 1 Snuffy? Then there's the glaring omission of even a single picture with both Bert and Ernie it. Did they break up or something?
Still, there's a few stellar images. Perfect for a kid or a kid-at-heart. Perhaps the most amazing picture is this one of The Count. Look at the bats, they look just like Cookie Monster!
I wanted to see if The Count's bats always looked like Cookie Monster.
I couldn't find anything definitive. I found a pretty cool old clip The Count meeting cooking monster though.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: AN UPDATE ON ALEX'S HYPOCHONDRIA
I'm doing well folks, I'm doing well! My thought of the day is this: I'll always have irrational fears about my health. I've now at least gotten to a place where I can not obsess over these fears completely. Take this morning for instance. I noticed my fingernails were yellow. The firs thing that popped into my head was jaundice of course. One of my dear friends recently had a liver transplant out of the blue. They still have no idea what happened to the liver. He's fighting through it, thankfully. So jaundice is on the brain. I started to get a bit worried, then I remember I made some chicken shawarma last night and the marinade was yellow. Problem solved. Plus, jaundice doesn't affect your fingernails I don't think. I looked at my eyeballs to be sure. They looked a bit orange, but I think that may've just been the blood vessels clumped together.
Speaking of dinner last night, I didn't cook some of the chicken well enough, as I discovered a somewhat raw piece mid bite. I spat it out and inspected all the other pieces thoroughly (which would also explain the fingernails). I'm still a bit worried about salmonella because of its three day incubation period. Not as worried as the time I accidentally ate a pirogi filled with raw chicken. But that's another story... Plus, salmonella is big in the news these days. Speaking of which, they just said the outbreak has reached 1000 cases. How do they possibly know if it's linked to the same source. Are they just clumping salmonella cases of mysterious origin to the outbreak? I know there's a particular rare strain. Maybe that's how they make the connection. Wow, my stomach hurts now. I think the salmonella is kicking in.
You what hurts like fucking hell? Getting the skin/casing of a garlic clove stuck underneath your fingernail. That happened yesterday. My thumb still hurts.
Back to my recent ailments. My knee started killing me as I walked around the office today. Back years ago when I sprouted four inches in a few months, I had some serious knee problems. My snowboarding didn't help the knees at all. I had to stop running track. But I stayed on the team. Even learned to throw the shot put. Pretty well mind you. Actually not well. But better than most of the other people on my Quaker track team. The knees got better after a couple years. But now my right knee kills. I hope not literally kills. A year ago, I would spent hours looking up knee pain on the internet. Today, I'm gonna just say ignorance is bliss and assume that my clumsy ass banged it on something. I do that a lot. Lack of balance. Could be early Mad Cow symptoms or Parkinson's. Let's hope not. Fingers crossed. (But not crossed too hard... The could cause a finger clot).
Speaking of dinner last night, I didn't cook some of the chicken well enough, as I discovered a somewhat raw piece mid bite. I spat it out and inspected all the other pieces thoroughly (which would also explain the fingernails). I'm still a bit worried about salmonella because of its three day incubation period. Not as worried as the time I accidentally ate a pirogi filled with raw chicken. But that's another story... Plus, salmonella is big in the news these days. Speaking of which, they just said the outbreak has reached 1000 cases. How do they possibly know if it's linked to the same source. Are they just clumping salmonella cases of mysterious origin to the outbreak? I know there's a particular rare strain. Maybe that's how they make the connection. Wow, my stomach hurts now. I think the salmonella is kicking in.
You what hurts like fucking hell? Getting the skin/casing of a garlic clove stuck underneath your fingernail. That happened yesterday. My thumb still hurts.
Back to my recent ailments. My knee started killing me as I walked around the office today. Back years ago when I sprouted four inches in a few months, I had some serious knee problems. My snowboarding didn't help the knees at all. I had to stop running track. But I stayed on the team. Even learned to throw the shot put. Pretty well mind you. Actually not well. But better than most of the other people on my Quaker track team. The knees got better after a couple years. But now my right knee kills. I hope not literally kills. A year ago, I would spent hours looking up knee pain on the internet. Today, I'm gonna just say ignorance is bliss and assume that my clumsy ass banged it on something. I do that a lot. Lack of balance. Could be early Mad Cow symptoms or Parkinson's. Let's hope not. Fingers crossed. (But not crossed too hard... The could cause a finger clot).
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: GEORGIA
I'm having a very difficult time writing this entry. There's not really much to say about Georgia. I like the name. It's rather gorgeous. I like that it's also a country. Other than that? Atlanta seems decent. It's basically LA with Southern accents and no beach. At least as far as car culture and freeways go. That Atlanta "spaghetti junction" is no joke. Just listen to the Outkast song of the same name. There are certain ways that streets are not supposed to intertwine. Atlanta's freeways incorporate all of these interstate missteps at once. Lanes beginning and ending whenever they damn well feel like it. Highways that only exit onto other highways. Look at this shit:
It looks delicious if you were to dump some pasta sauce and Parmesan cheese on it. But to drive on? I'll take the 101 any day of the week. And that's like saying you'd rather have Stalin as your father-in-law than Hitler.
Let's put Atlanta aside a minute. Actually let's stop talking about it entirely. It's a fun city from what I gather. Good shopping, delicious food, beautiful people. Coca-Cola, CNN, TNT, Delta. Awesome. But it steals enough of Georgia's thunder.
What about the other cities? Savannah's pretty wild, with its historic squares and Gothic architecture. Not just Gothic actually. According to this one site, you can find examples of Federal, Georgian, Gothic Revival, Greek Revival, Italianate, Regency, Romanesque Revival and Second French Empire architecture in Savannah. If you gave me a quiz where I had to match all those styles to actual Savannah buildings, I'd fail. But doesn't that make it all the more impressive? They've got great trees there too. Not sure what they're called. They look like weeping willows. Damn, the Savannah Tourist Bureau will never hire me as a guide. Can you see me now? "Here we have a beautiful home. It's in the Greek Revival style. Or maybe it's the Gothic Revival or Romanesque Revival. I can't tell. See how those neat trees play off the iron? Or is that brick? I don't know. It's something." Damn I need to learn this shit. It's embarrassing.
Then there's Athens. The land of REM and the B-52s. It's not particularly easy to get to Athens. If Atlanta dedicated just one freeway to Athens, it would make life much easier. The drive from Savannah to Athens was horrifying. US highway 129. Shit, I've never felt so Jewish in my life. Like that scene in ANNIE HALL where Woody sees himself as a Hasid. I stood out so much, I could've sworn my car was painted like an Israeli flag. I saw a few dude on their porches with shotguns. I saw a poster for the "Uncle Remus Museum." Plus a "Sons of Confederate Veterans" recruitment billboard. Yeah, I felt safe.
I'd like to return to Atlanta though. I just read about this Soul Food tapas place. It made me think that I need to spend more time in the stoutly shaped state of Georgia. Ooh, try saying "Stoutly shaped state" 10 times fast. Wait, I can do better than that. Try this one: "Sedentary Stedman Styled Stoutly Shaped States." Do it! 10 times fast! Good luck.
It looks delicious if you were to dump some pasta sauce and Parmesan cheese on it. But to drive on? I'll take the 101 any day of the week. And that's like saying you'd rather have Stalin as your father-in-law than Hitler.
Let's put Atlanta aside a minute. Actually let's stop talking about it entirely. It's a fun city from what I gather. Good shopping, delicious food, beautiful people. Coca-Cola, CNN, TNT, Delta. Awesome. But it steals enough of Georgia's thunder.
What about the other cities? Savannah's pretty wild, with its historic squares and Gothic architecture. Not just Gothic actually. According to this one site, you can find examples of Federal, Georgian, Gothic Revival, Greek Revival, Italianate, Regency, Romanesque Revival and Second French Empire architecture in Savannah. If you gave me a quiz where I had to match all those styles to actual Savannah buildings, I'd fail. But doesn't that make it all the more impressive? They've got great trees there too. Not sure what they're called. They look like weeping willows. Damn, the Savannah Tourist Bureau will never hire me as a guide. Can you see me now? "Here we have a beautiful home. It's in the Greek Revival style. Or maybe it's the Gothic Revival or Romanesque Revival. I can't tell. See how those neat trees play off the iron? Or is that brick? I don't know. It's something." Damn I need to learn this shit. It's embarrassing.
Then there's Athens. The land of REM and the B-52s. It's not particularly easy to get to Athens. If Atlanta dedicated just one freeway to Athens, it would make life much easier. The drive from Savannah to Athens was horrifying. US highway 129. Shit, I've never felt so Jewish in my life. Like that scene in ANNIE HALL where Woody sees himself as a Hasid. I stood out so much, I could've sworn my car was painted like an Israeli flag. I saw a few dude on their porches with shotguns. I saw a poster for the "Uncle Remus Museum." Plus a "Sons of Confederate Veterans" recruitment billboard. Yeah, I felt safe.
I'd like to return to Atlanta though. I just read about this Soul Food tapas place. It made me think that I need to spend more time in the stoutly shaped state of Georgia. Ooh, try saying "Stoutly shaped state" 10 times fast. Wait, I can do better than that. Try this one: "Sedentary Stedman Styled Stoutly Shaped States." Do it! 10 times fast! Good luck.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: APOLITICAL ALEX?
During the primary season all I could think about was politics. I'd read the various sites and blogs all day. I'd check news updates on my phone at parties. I couldn't get enough. But wow that each party has a nominee, I could care less. I'm sure this is typical July malaise. Or perhaps it's because Obama's become a little bitch recently. It's pretty unreal. A lot of the pundits talk about the moves he's made that have damaged his brand, like supporting the Supreme Court gun control decision and some business in a place called Iraq. All very true. But a bit of flip-flopping is inevitable. I never for a moment thought Obama was above politics. But the real concern to me is that Obama's been drinking a bit too much huge John Kerry juice. Remember in the '04 debates when Kerry said he'd find the terrorists and kill them? He put great emphasis on kill. Surprised he didn't say he'd kill and torture and squeeze their little eye balls out of their head. No one bought it. The American people suck at most things but we're pretty good at smelling bull shit. Democrats aren't hawks. End of story.
It's like the little bald fuck cutting you off in his fire engine Ferrari. No one buys that shit. Obama, you're liberal. Be liberal. Live and die by it. Yeah there's some women (or gay men) that crave a giant cock, but there are more that are turned off by the sports car and all the fucking posturing. Sports car drivers have small penises. We all know, and what's more most of us think the over-compensation is pretty fucking lame.
Same here!
Listen Obama. Listen. During the past six months, you've gotten apathetic youngins finally convinced that the American Dream isn't just a cliche that kid's write college essays about. You got there by being strong, unwavering and pointed. Rhetoric, sure. But consistent rhetoric. Now what? The message you're sending is "Be yourself and you can seriously be considered for executive chef. But once you get to the final battle with the other possible chef, stop serving up anything that challenges the palette. Just go back to a fucking chicken cordon bleu." That's a real good strategy. Look how well it worked for Richard on Top Chef last season.
My generation has waited for the day where election night isn't a choice between the lesser of two evils. It seemed like that time had finally come. Now I'm not so sure. Perhaps Obamania can win me over again, but right now I feel like I'm watching my favorite band water down their sound for a major label debut. Like when Liz Phair got Avril's producer. Not that I like Liz Phair at all. But I can't think of a more insane example of selling out. Well maybe the Black Eyed Peas. Whatever. You get the image.
I'm asking you Mr. Obama, begging, pleading. Please have your "In Rainbows" moment. Hmm that's not quite right, because I enjoyed "Hail to the Thief" more than current Obama... Have your MATCH POINT moment? Eh, overrated flick, but good enough...Your "Graceland" moment? Your THERE WILL BE BLOOD moment? Your THE DEPARTED moment? Damn I'd even settle for your Sylvester Stallone in COPLAND moment. Just get us excited again! I'm sure I'm overreacting. It's July. The world slows down. Mistakes are made. I get it.
But seriously, Obama man. Don't play not to lose. Play to win. Or else you'll end up like my Philadelphia Eagles. Superbowl-less.
It's like the little bald fuck cutting you off in his fire engine Ferrari. No one buys that shit. Obama, you're liberal. Be liberal. Live and die by it. Yeah there's some women (or gay men) that crave a giant cock, but there are more that are turned off by the sports car and all the fucking posturing. Sports car drivers have small penises. We all know, and what's more most of us think the over-compensation is pretty fucking lame.
Same here!
Listen Obama. Listen. During the past six months, you've gotten apathetic youngins finally convinced that the American Dream isn't just a cliche that kid's write college essays about. You got there by being strong, unwavering and pointed. Rhetoric, sure. But consistent rhetoric. Now what? The message you're sending is "Be yourself and you can seriously be considered for executive chef. But once you get to the final battle with the other possible chef, stop serving up anything that challenges the palette. Just go back to a fucking chicken cordon bleu." That's a real good strategy. Look how well it worked for Richard on Top Chef last season.
My generation has waited for the day where election night isn't a choice between the lesser of two evils. It seemed like that time had finally come. Now I'm not so sure. Perhaps Obamania can win me over again, but right now I feel like I'm watching my favorite band water down their sound for a major label debut. Like when Liz Phair got Avril's producer. Not that I like Liz Phair at all. But I can't think of a more insane example of selling out. Well maybe the Black Eyed Peas. Whatever. You get the image.
I'm asking you Mr. Obama, begging, pleading. Please have your "In Rainbows" moment. Hmm that's not quite right, because I enjoyed "Hail to the Thief" more than current Obama... Have your MATCH POINT moment? Eh, overrated flick, but good enough...Your "Graceland" moment? Your THERE WILL BE BLOOD moment? Your THE DEPARTED moment? Damn I'd even settle for your Sylvester Stallone in COPLAND moment. Just get us excited again! I'm sure I'm overreacting. It's July. The world slows down. Mistakes are made. I get it.
But seriously, Obama man. Don't play not to lose. Play to win. Or else you'll end up like my Philadelphia Eagles. Superbowl-less.
Monday, July 7, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: A LAMENT FOR TWO LOST DAYS
Happy 4th of July to all my fellow patriots!
As you may've noticed, there was no Thoughtful Thursday and no Friendly Friday. I was on vacation. I refuse to apologize for not posting. But I will apologize for at least not warning you beforehand.
I had a lovely time in my hometown. Jen claims that ALL I did was try to sell records and buy new ones. This is a gross exaggeration. I did sell some record though. Nothing good. Just old expendable records that I had lying around the house. My dad loves to throw out important things. He always claims they're in the attic, but I've scoured that attic for years and still haven't found my yellow teddy bear.
I had this nightmare of him walking into my old room one day and seeing records all over the place and instead of calling me to ask which records had value, dialing up the trash man instead and throwing them all away. One of those "I can't take this mess!" moments. Like Lenny Kravitz cutting his dreads. "I need order!" That kind of thing.
Looking through all my records at home, I had a few thoughts. Actually one main thought: I have a shitload of vinyl. Probably enough to open my own small record shop. People have seen my records in LA and asked me how long it took to amass such a collection. I'm always tempted to fly them to Philly so they can REALLY see my record collection. But a 500 bucks plane ticket just so I can gloat? Even I'm not that insecure.
It's not just shit records I left behind in Philly. There's some really great valuable records too. I brought a few back home. Such as the Neil Young S/T no name cover. This is one my "treasure" records. It's actually not in great condition, so it's not worth that much. In Mint I think it's worth like 150 bucks or something...
Here's what the album cover usually looks like (everything after the first pressing)
But initially it looked like this.
Not many made. But I have one. It was sitting in a closet neglected.
I sort of want to quit my job, drive my car across the country, taking a Southern route, checking out some national sights that I've missed in my many years of National park touring (your White Sands National Monuments, your Guadalupe Mountains, your Mammoth Caves). Then load all the good records in my car in Philly, and take the fastest route to southern Utah and see the country's greatest parks (which you'll learn all about in several months when Wagonwheel Wednesdays hit Utah).
There's some excitement about going home and picking out a handful of great records to bring back to my new home. I wrap them in a bag and carry them on the plane. They do cramp my leg room a bit, thus increasing my chances of Deep Vein Thrombosis. But now I have gradual compression socks to prevent that, so it's a fair trade for the most part.
Damn... reading this over, my thoughts are even more jumpy than usual. Air travel can do that to you.
As you may've noticed, there was no Thoughtful Thursday and no Friendly Friday. I was on vacation. I refuse to apologize for not posting. But I will apologize for at least not warning you beforehand.
I had a lovely time in my hometown. Jen claims that ALL I did was try to sell records and buy new ones. This is a gross exaggeration. I did sell some record though. Nothing good. Just old expendable records that I had lying around the house. My dad loves to throw out important things. He always claims they're in the attic, but I've scoured that attic for years and still haven't found my yellow teddy bear.
I had this nightmare of him walking into my old room one day and seeing records all over the place and instead of calling me to ask which records had value, dialing up the trash man instead and throwing them all away. One of those "I can't take this mess!" moments. Like Lenny Kravitz cutting his dreads. "I need order!" That kind of thing.
Looking through all my records at home, I had a few thoughts. Actually one main thought: I have a shitload of vinyl. Probably enough to open my own small record shop. People have seen my records in LA and asked me how long it took to amass such a collection. I'm always tempted to fly them to Philly so they can REALLY see my record collection. But a 500 bucks plane ticket just so I can gloat? Even I'm not that insecure.
It's not just shit records I left behind in Philly. There's some really great valuable records too. I brought a few back home. Such as the Neil Young S/T no name cover. This is one my "treasure" records. It's actually not in great condition, so it's not worth that much. In Mint I think it's worth like 150 bucks or something...
Here's what the album cover usually looks like (everything after the first pressing)
But initially it looked like this.
Not many made. But I have one. It was sitting in a closet neglected.
I sort of want to quit my job, drive my car across the country, taking a Southern route, checking out some national sights that I've missed in my many years of National park touring (your White Sands National Monuments, your Guadalupe Mountains, your Mammoth Caves). Then load all the good records in my car in Philly, and take the fastest route to southern Utah and see the country's greatest parks (which you'll learn all about in several months when Wagonwheel Wednesdays hit Utah).
There's some excitement about going home and picking out a handful of great records to bring back to my new home. I wrap them in a bag and carry them on the plane. They do cramp my leg room a bit, thus increasing my chances of Deep Vein Thrombosis. But now I have gradual compression socks to prevent that, so it's a fair trade for the most part.
Damn... reading this over, my thoughts are even more jumpy than usual. Air travel can do that to you.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: FLORIDA
The stereotype of Florida is that it's nothing but old folks. While I've come to realize this isn't true, there was a time in my life that I thought the only young people were my cousins. If you only go to Florida to visit your grandparents, you'll probably only see retirees. After people stop working, they usually don't associate with teenagers, unless the teens are family, or they don't move to Florida in the first place. So it's an understandable stereotype.
Florida's an odd place. I used to think of it as this anomaly in the South. Geographically Southern but culturally Yankee. There's something to this. You can definitely find a hell of a lot of New York culture in Florida. Unless you venture far enough north of Miami. Jacksonville is without a doubt the South. I took a train once from Philadelphia to Miami. Florida may be a skinny place geographically but it takes forever to travel North to South. So I had plenty of time to see some country ass shit. Red clay everywhere.
I haven't actually spent time in the northern parts and I probably never will. In fact, I don't plan to return to Florida unless I'm visiting family. Miami isn't my kind of scene. Sure there's great food. But the drunk partying fuckers kind of make the whole atmosphere not worth the taste. I'm sure there are many hole-in-the-walls where you can get a kick ass Cuban sandwich far from tourists, but the main restaurants are a mess. You have to wait about an hour to get your food. Not just some places, but almost all places. I guess it's part of experience. Fuck that.
You may've heard that the weather in Florida is amazing. Sure, February is lovely. July though is a mess. Hurricanes, bugs, gators. No thanks.
I do admit the Everglades are pretty cool and I would return to Florida to visit them in more depth. Manatees are rather lovable animals. When I was eight I adopted a Manatee named Titconius. Sadly, I didn't actually take him from the swamps to live in my bathtub. A few dollars a month and that's all. I'm sure Titconius had many foster parents. I just loved that he had "tit" in his name. I had probably learned the word "tit" a week before the adoption papers came. And now I had a manatee named "tit." And you wonder why I was obsessed with breasts at a young age. I was trained that way, damn it!
Today's route will include where I've been by train. I'll denote that with a yellow highlight instead of black.
Florida's an odd place. I used to think of it as this anomaly in the South. Geographically Southern but culturally Yankee. There's something to this. You can definitely find a hell of a lot of New York culture in Florida. Unless you venture far enough north of Miami. Jacksonville is without a doubt the South. I took a train once from Philadelphia to Miami. Florida may be a skinny place geographically but it takes forever to travel North to South. So I had plenty of time to see some country ass shit. Red clay everywhere.
I haven't actually spent time in the northern parts and I probably never will. In fact, I don't plan to return to Florida unless I'm visiting family. Miami isn't my kind of scene. Sure there's great food. But the drunk partying fuckers kind of make the whole atmosphere not worth the taste. I'm sure there are many hole-in-the-walls where you can get a kick ass Cuban sandwich far from tourists, but the main restaurants are a mess. You have to wait about an hour to get your food. Not just some places, but almost all places. I guess it's part of experience. Fuck that.
You may've heard that the weather in Florida is amazing. Sure, February is lovely. July though is a mess. Hurricanes, bugs, gators. No thanks.
I do admit the Everglades are pretty cool and I would return to Florida to visit them in more depth. Manatees are rather lovable animals. When I was eight I adopted a Manatee named Titconius. Sadly, I didn't actually take him from the swamps to live in my bathtub. A few dollars a month and that's all. I'm sure Titconius had many foster parents. I just loved that he had "tit" in his name. I had probably learned the word "tit" a week before the adoption papers came. And now I had a manatee named "tit." And you wonder why I was obsessed with breasts at a young age. I was trained that way, damn it!
Today's route will include where I've been by train. I'll denote that with a yellow highlight instead of black.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: IMAGES TO RUIN YOUR DAY
Perhaps some of you have seen this image in the past week:
It's sort of been making the rounds. First the blogs, then a few more respected sites then finally Time Magazine. Yes, you guessed it, it's Old Person Japanese porn! That dude's been in hundreds of movies. He's in his 70s. His wife and kids don't even know he does porn. I wonder if they know now...
I haven't seen of this stuff (I swear, I swear, I swear) but apparently the dude does films with younger women too. It's horrifying, I know. But is it? Shouldn't we be allowed to fornicate forever? Great word "fornicate." And copulate too, another classic. The thought of old people getting it on doesn't disturb me much. And young/old? "Harold and Maude" is one of my two favorite movies ever, so obviously that doesn't even bother me. But filming it? And paying money to watch it? I can't lie. Makes me a bit queasy. Like a detective who can handle some blood but vomits into a trash can when he sees a severed head. The geriatric sect having sex's like a little blood. Filming it, like a severed head. And no that's not a pun.
Speaking of the 65+ crowd. You know what ads I love? The ads about TVs having to switch over to a digital signal. It's one thing to market an add to an older demographic, but these ads don't beat around the bush one bit. I think the average age of the people disseminating information is about 80. Sure there are some 80 year old out there who can't figure this out. But then again there are other 80 year old making porn. So perhaps the ads should be a bit more respectful and split the difference. Maybe have a 60 year old deliver the message. Someone a bit older, but someone strong. The goal should be to have people say "Morgan Freeman only has a 12 inch Black and White TV!? Wow I guess I'm normal." Now it probably only elicits jealousy...
"That 90 year old bitch knows how to do and I don't? What's the point of living?"
We don't want that result.
It's sort of been making the rounds. First the blogs, then a few more respected sites then finally Time Magazine. Yes, you guessed it, it's Old Person Japanese porn! That dude's been in hundreds of movies. He's in his 70s. His wife and kids don't even know he does porn. I wonder if they know now...
I haven't seen of this stuff (I swear, I swear, I swear) but apparently the dude does films with younger women too. It's horrifying, I know. But is it? Shouldn't we be allowed to fornicate forever? Great word "fornicate." And copulate too, another classic. The thought of old people getting it on doesn't disturb me much. And young/old? "Harold and Maude" is one of my two favorite movies ever, so obviously that doesn't even bother me. But filming it? And paying money to watch it? I can't lie. Makes me a bit queasy. Like a detective who can handle some blood but vomits into a trash can when he sees a severed head. The geriatric sect having sex's like a little blood. Filming it, like a severed head. And no that's not a pun.
Speaking of the 65+ crowd. You know what ads I love? The ads about TVs having to switch over to a digital signal. It's one thing to market an add to an older demographic, but these ads don't beat around the bush one bit. I think the average age of the people disseminating information is about 80. Sure there are some 80 year old out there who can't figure this out. But then again there are other 80 year old making porn. So perhaps the ads should be a bit more respectful and split the difference. Maybe have a 60 year old deliver the message. Someone a bit older, but someone strong. The goal should be to have people say "Morgan Freeman only has a 12 inch Black and White TV!? Wow I guess I'm normal." Now it probably only elicits jealousy...
"That 90 year old bitch knows how to do and I don't? What's the point of living?"
We don't want that result.
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