Let's have a moment of mourning.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: KENTUCKY
I couldn't even tell you how excited I was for Kentucky. For one, my entry to Kentucky meant I no longer had to fear for my life in Indiana (in case you missed that entry). But more importantly, I could finally have some REAL Kentucky Fried Chicken and see what the hype was about. I didn't want to go to a KFC though. But because this was before the days of iphones and yelp, I had to settle for something accessible to the main interstate. So I tried out Lee's Fried Chicken. According to the story on the wall, Lee and Colonel Sanders developed the KFC recipe together and then Lee branched out on his own... I find this hard to believe now that I think about it. After all, wasn't Colonel Sanders a fictional creation? Just some actor who looked good in a planter's outfit? Okay... I looked it up.... COLONEL SANDERS IS THE REAL DEAL! He's not a Ronald McD. No way. This is a real chicken entrepreneur.
Back to the actual chicken. It was pretty good. Not great but okay. When I got back to Philly, I looked up Lee's Fried Chicken to see if any had made it North. Turns out there was a Lee's in Philly, right in a gas station on Lancaster Ave (on the West Philly side) appropriately titled Bullets. When I went to go, the place was shut down. Predictably there were bullet holes. Ah, gotta love West Philly.
Other than chicken, I didn't do much in Kentucky. I spent the night in Louisville. It almost looked like a mini Philadelphia. At one point I thought I was about to get robbed by a bunch of drunk frat boys. I made it into the hotel in the nick of time! Other than that, there's little to say about Kentucky. Louisville is home to the Louisville Slugger museum, which as you can see below boasts a pretty damn impressive bat. That's something I guess.
Back to the actual chicken. It was pretty good. Not great but okay. When I got back to Philly, I looked up Lee's Fried Chicken to see if any had made it North. Turns out there was a Lee's in Philly, right in a gas station on Lancaster Ave (on the West Philly side) appropriately titled Bullets. When I went to go, the place was shut down. Predictably there were bullet holes. Ah, gotta love West Philly.
Other than chicken, I didn't do much in Kentucky. I spent the night in Louisville. It almost looked like a mini Philadelphia. At one point I thought I was about to get robbed by a bunch of drunk frat boys. I made it into the hotel in the nick of time! Other than that, there's little to say about Kentucky. Louisville is home to the Louisville Slugger museum, which as you can see below boasts a pretty damn impressive bat. That's something I guess.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: HILLARY CLINTON RETURNS
Tonight's the speech. What will she say? I don't really care much. The PUMAs (Hillary supporters who've proclaimed Party Unity My Ass) probably won't be watching. It's completely crazy and insane. I don't want to blabber on this blog about abortion rights or anything like that. Those who know me, know where I stand. I will say this though: many of these PUMAs care very much about a woman's right to choose. But let's put that aside for our purposes and go to fantasy land for a couple paragraphs. Let's say you live in a mythical democracy and support a candidate named Willary Tinton for your party's nomination. And let's say she loses a very heated and nasty race to a candidate who we'll call Paback Othama. Now I can understand bitter feelings for a few weeks. I can even understand having a month or two where you publicly say you won't vote for Othama at all.
BUT... Let's say it's now time to vote not amongst your own party but against the other party. And let's say an issue that's really important to you is a human's right to cookies. What type? I don't know, chocolate chip, sugar, gingerbread, whatever. Now, this hated villain Othama supports cookie rights completely. But what about the other party's nominee, the guy that these former Willary supports threaten to vote for, Tohn BcBain? Oh my my my. He definitely doesn't support cookie rights. In other areas, he claims that he's not for big government but in this area, you better believe, he wants to make damn sure the government allows no body to eat a cookie or possess a cookie or even have dough in the house for that matter. And not only are these his personal beliefs but he also wants to put young anti-cookie judges on the highest court in the land so that no one will be able to eat cookie legally for 60 years or however long it takes for these anti-cookie judges to grow old and die. So what's more important PUMAs who also love cookies? Carrying on this bitter grudge or having a lifetime of no cookies- for you or ANY of your loved ones?
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!
Now if you supported Willary not because of her cookie policy but because of something else entirely, and if your own cookie positions are in line with BcBain's anti-cookie positions, then fine, don't vote for Othama. But anything else? Bullshit. BULLSHIT. You should get your citizenship stripped if you cost Othama the election out of spite. BcBain cannot be president of our mythical land!
Of course we're talking about Willary, Othama and BcBain... this has nothing to do with Hillary, Obama or McCain
BUT... Let's say it's now time to vote not amongst your own party but against the other party. And let's say an issue that's really important to you is a human's right to cookies. What type? I don't know, chocolate chip, sugar, gingerbread, whatever. Now, this hated villain Othama supports cookie rights completely. But what about the other party's nominee, the guy that these former Willary supports threaten to vote for, Tohn BcBain? Oh my my my. He definitely doesn't support cookie rights. In other areas, he claims that he's not for big government but in this area, you better believe, he wants to make damn sure the government allows no body to eat a cookie or possess a cookie or even have dough in the house for that matter. And not only are these his personal beliefs but he also wants to put young anti-cookie judges on the highest court in the land so that no one will be able to eat cookie legally for 60 years or however long it takes for these anti-cookie judges to grow old and die. So what's more important PUMAs who also love cookies? Carrying on this bitter grudge or having a lifetime of no cookies- for you or ANY of your loved ones?
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!
Now if you supported Willary not because of her cookie policy but because of something else entirely, and if your own cookie positions are in line with BcBain's anti-cookie positions, then fine, don't vote for Othama. But anything else? Bullshit. BULLSHIT. You should get your citizenship stripped if you cost Othama the election out of spite. BcBain cannot be president of our mythical land!
Of course we're talking about Willary, Othama and BcBain... this has nothing to do with Hillary, Obama or McCain
Monday, August 25, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: WHAT CAMPAIGN SONGS SAY ABOUT YOU
On Saturday as I watched Joe Biden's introduction to the Obama ticket, I was rather appalled by the entry music. Not sure what it was. Either modern day Pearl Jam or some Pearl Jam clone like Nixon. Remember them? Either way, weak shit. Sort of like every time I listen to Rumours and have to skip over "Don't Stop." Are campaign songs intrinsically bad or are they forever tainted by their association with politics. Yes I love Bill Clinton (not as much as I did before the South Carolina debacle, but still a good amount), but it doesn't matter. A politician is a politician.
In honor of these fun thoughts, I'm going to throw some hypothetical campaign songs out there and try to use my psychologist magnifying glass to prognotize what type of politician could one day use this song as a campaign anthem.
SIR MIX-A-LOT: BABY GOT BACK
This could be a good one for a redeemed politician. Someone who had a major downfall, and then bounces BACK onto the scene. John Edwards or Tom Delay. It could work for Dem or GOP in that sense. You'd be surprised by how popular this song still is. The other day I saw a homeless man sitting outside Ralph singing it at the top of his lungs.
DREAMWEAVER
Now this would be a pretty good Obama song. Well maybe not. The McCain editing team could just have a little voice say "Pipe" every time he sings "Dreamweaver." I guess that would happen no matter candidate used it. But if editing didn't exist, this could be a good one.
SEXUAL HEALING
Hmmm... Not sure what type of candidate would have this song. Definitely not a Republican since they hate sex unless a baby is made in the process. And a Democrat wouldn't want to completely alienate good liberal people who've taken vows of chastity. Maybe Ralph Nader could use this one. Nader prancing on stage, balls hanging out, maybe a leather mask... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
GASOLINA
Well Daddy Yankee endorsed McCain today so maybe. McCain even quoted the song, probably not realizing what "gasolina" really meant. (semen, right?)
THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
Is this allowed? Maybe if the candidate sang it himself or herself and that was the campaign song? It would be annoying. Like if you picked a William Hung song. Not that William Hung had any of his own songs. Maybe he could sing the star spangled banner.
OOOH... I'm watching convention coverage right now. The band at the convention is pretty good. They have a 9 year old singing Alycia Keys and now they're doing RESPECT... Maybe there's still hope for the campaign and music. I know Obama's a Wilco fan. Now with Biden on the ticket they may have to give it up for some of those famous Delaware musicians... Hmmm I can't think of a single artist from Delaware.... Actually that's not entirely true. Bob Marley spent a formative year or two in Wilmington, DE.
Now I open up the floor... Pick a campaign song for Obama and McCain... and defend your decision! I'm sure they already have official songs but it's early, they can always change.
In honor of these fun thoughts, I'm going to throw some hypothetical campaign songs out there and try to use my psychologist magnifying glass to prognotize what type of politician could one day use this song as a campaign anthem.
SIR MIX-A-LOT: BABY GOT BACK
This could be a good one for a redeemed politician. Someone who had a major downfall, and then bounces BACK onto the scene. John Edwards or Tom Delay. It could work for Dem or GOP in that sense. You'd be surprised by how popular this song still is. The other day I saw a homeless man sitting outside Ralph singing it at the top of his lungs.
DREAMWEAVER
Now this would be a pretty good Obama song. Well maybe not. The McCain editing team could just have a little voice say "Pipe" every time he sings "Dreamweaver." I guess that would happen no matter candidate used it. But if editing didn't exist, this could be a good one.
SEXUAL HEALING
Hmmm... Not sure what type of candidate would have this song. Definitely not a Republican since they hate sex unless a baby is made in the process. And a Democrat wouldn't want to completely alienate good liberal people who've taken vows of chastity. Maybe Ralph Nader could use this one. Nader prancing on stage, balls hanging out, maybe a leather mask... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
GASOLINA
Well Daddy Yankee endorsed McCain today so maybe. McCain even quoted the song, probably not realizing what "gasolina" really meant. (semen, right?)
THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
Is this allowed? Maybe if the candidate sang it himself or herself and that was the campaign song? It would be annoying. Like if you picked a William Hung song. Not that William Hung had any of his own songs. Maybe he could sing the star spangled banner.
OOOH... I'm watching convention coverage right now. The band at the convention is pretty good. They have a 9 year old singing Alycia Keys and now they're doing RESPECT... Maybe there's still hope for the campaign and music. I know Obama's a Wilco fan. Now with Biden on the ticket they may have to give it up for some of those famous Delaware musicians... Hmmm I can't think of a single artist from Delaware.... Actually that's not entirely true. Bob Marley spent a formative year or two in Wilmington, DE.
Now I open up the floor... Pick a campaign song for Obama and McCain... and defend your decision! I'm sure they already have official songs but it's early, they can always change.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thoughtful Dursadys: Us Ejuomr Iayinf Attenpn?
Ur's meem avuyr rwi ertjs sunct abyibe hsd conneftrs ib fris gade. Pwasg cinnent id you geah ne.
Honestly folks! I know you're reading! Participate! How can my blogging help you if you don't let me know what's on your mind!?
Right now I'm beside myself. Since I got my iPhone, I discovered how wonderful Google satellite images are. I had used them plenty times in the past but never quite like this. It clicked in when I visited the Channel Islands. I accessed my Google maps and had a good bit of fun browsing the various islands from afar. Later that day I began looking up some of my favorite national parks on the satellite images. These satellite images are fun and all but are nothing compared to the joys of Google Earth. HOW COME NO ONE HAS TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!? You know my love of maps! Now I can fly all over the world, zoom in, check out webcams, plan places of interest and dream destinations. I sound like a fucking Google ad, I know. But I'm blown away.
Wanna know what anything in the world looks like? Go to Google Earth and hopefully someone's uploaded an image. No work will get done anymore. What's the point? I'll just close my door, pretend I'm doing something important and then spent the day on all the continents!
Aw shit they even have a solar system feature? This is endless. I bet I can create some fanfuckingtastic Wagonwheel Wednesday images. I like my rudimentary ones though. Anyway, enough talk from me. I need some damn comments or I'm seriously going to shut down this blog. Sorry for the threats. But without the comments I feel like a dictator. Is that how you see me? Do you think I'll hunt you down if you question my opinion? Fuck no. Call me a dirty Jewish water bug for all I care. YOU ARE THE PEOPLE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Honestly folks! I know you're reading! Participate! How can my blogging help you if you don't let me know what's on your mind!?
Right now I'm beside myself. Since I got my iPhone, I discovered how wonderful Google satellite images are. I had used them plenty times in the past but never quite like this. It clicked in when I visited the Channel Islands. I accessed my Google maps and had a good bit of fun browsing the various islands from afar. Later that day I began looking up some of my favorite national parks on the satellite images. These satellite images are fun and all but are nothing compared to the joys of Google Earth. HOW COME NO ONE HAS TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!? You know my love of maps! Now I can fly all over the world, zoom in, check out webcams, plan places of interest and dream destinations. I sound like a fucking Google ad, I know. But I'm blown away.
Wanna know what anything in the world looks like? Go to Google Earth and hopefully someone's uploaded an image. No work will get done anymore. What's the point? I'll just close my door, pretend I'm doing something important and then spent the day on all the continents!
Aw shit they even have a solar system feature? This is endless. I bet I can create some fanfuckingtastic Wagonwheel Wednesday images. I like my rudimentary ones though. Anyway, enough talk from me. I need some damn comments or I'm seriously going to shut down this blog. Sorry for the threats. But without the comments I feel like a dictator. Is that how you see me? Do you think I'll hunt you down if you question my opinion? Fuck no. Call me a dirty Jewish water bug for all I care. YOU ARE THE PEOPLE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: KANSAS
Close your eyes. Think "Kansas" ... What do you see? Tumbleweed? Corn? Flat unchanging scenery? Tornadoes? Wizard of Oz? Horror?
You'd be right. It's everything you ever imagined.
Maybe I haven't given the place a chance. That seems to be a common refrain for these states. All I know is that I spent hours driving across the state rather late at night and felt pretty fucking unsafe. Maybe it was the stretch of two hours where I didn't see a single light by the side of the road. Or perhaps it was my fruitless 200 mile search for a gas station. Or maybe it was when I finally found a gas station only to realize I was pumping gas next to a guy who had a tremendous hunting knife hanging from his belt. No no no all that was fun in comparison to my "where the fuck am I." moment.
It came after I checked into my hotel...er motel in Salina, Kansas. The place seemed fine and all. Not gorgeous but good enough for a night's rest. Until the noisy air condition kicked it. Loud is one thing but this machine sounded like it tortured babies for its power. I made it through the night though. However, the next morning as I took a shower, I noticed that the shower curtain had blood splatters all over it... Shit, if I had seen that the night before, I would've chugged 20 oz. of coffee and driven another 3 hours to Kansas City. The Missouri side of Kansas City that is.
A couple years later I was supposed to spend another night in Kansas. This time Wichita. But I ended up altering my trip a bit so I could see more national parks and switched my Midwestern pit stop to Lincoln, Nebraska instead. A few days before the day I was supposed to spend in Wichita, I saw a news report about how the BTK (Bind Torture and Kill) serial killer had been captured in Wichita. Sure, he would've been in jail by the time I got there. And I know serial killers can strike in any state at any time, but consider it the cherry atop my Kansas sundae of paranoia.
So if you like repetitive flat landscapes and the feeling that someone's watching you, ready to pounce and hack to you bits, then maybe Kansas is the home for you.
You'd be right. It's everything you ever imagined.
Maybe I haven't given the place a chance. That seems to be a common refrain for these states. All I know is that I spent hours driving across the state rather late at night and felt pretty fucking unsafe. Maybe it was the stretch of two hours where I didn't see a single light by the side of the road. Or perhaps it was my fruitless 200 mile search for a gas station. Or maybe it was when I finally found a gas station only to realize I was pumping gas next to a guy who had a tremendous hunting knife hanging from his belt. No no no all that was fun in comparison to my "where the fuck am I." moment.
It came after I checked into my hotel...er motel in Salina, Kansas. The place seemed fine and all. Not gorgeous but good enough for a night's rest. Until the noisy air condition kicked it. Loud is one thing but this machine sounded like it tortured babies for its power. I made it through the night though. However, the next morning as I took a shower, I noticed that the shower curtain had blood splatters all over it... Shit, if I had seen that the night before, I would've chugged 20 oz. of coffee and driven another 3 hours to Kansas City. The Missouri side of Kansas City that is.
A couple years later I was supposed to spend another night in Kansas. This time Wichita. But I ended up altering my trip a bit so I could see more national parks and switched my Midwestern pit stop to Lincoln, Nebraska instead. A few days before the day I was supposed to spend in Wichita, I saw a news report about how the BTK (Bind Torture and Kill) serial killer had been captured in Wichita. Sure, he would've been in jail by the time I got there. And I know serial killers can strike in any state at any time, but consider it the cherry atop my Kansas sundae of paranoia.
So if you like repetitive flat landscapes and the feeling that someone's watching you, ready to pounce and hack to you bits, then maybe Kansas is the home for you.
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: SORRY
I HAD NO TIME! MY STUPID STRUTS ON MY CAR BROKE AGAIN. THE COMPANY THAT FIXED IT THE FIRST TIME- HONEST MECHANICS ACCORDING TO MY BOSS- SAY IT'S MY FAULT. 500 MORE BUCKS DOWN THE DRAIN. Sorry Jen, I think I'm gonna have to start whoring myself out
Monday, August 18, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: I NOW OWN THE SET
As loyal readers may remember, I've been wanting this Parliament mini LP set forever. After seeing the individual Parliament mini lps goings on eBay for anywhere from 45 to 150 bucks each, I thought I should probably just buy the damn thing. The initial idea was to buy it for 400 and then sell a few that I didn't want as much to recoup my loss. So I ordered it from a secret nook buried deep in Amaon. But then as I thought about the set coming my way, I realized I couldn't sell part of it. Yes, 400 is far too much for this sort of thing, but it's an item I'll cherish. Should I sell other items I own that I don't cherish as much? Sure it's hard to cherish an item that I don't yet possess, but I know myself well. If I don't prize the set, it probably means that George Clinton personally killed one of my family members. So I began to sell some CDs that held a mild-moderate importance but nothing that I would miss too much. A week in, my internet garage sale is going okay. I'm about halfway there.
Last Thursday the set came and the drool began to flow freely from my mouth. I told Jen that she'd have to sleep on the floor so the mini LP set could get the bed. She's very jealous of this set. If you were to ask her, she'd say that she doesn't approve of me having it because it costs so much money. But in truth, it's really because she thinks I'll leave her for the set. This is a valid fear I guess. Jen is a lovable gal with many jokes and smiles to offer at all times. But does she come with a mini t-shirt iron on? Does she come with a mini comic book detailing the adventures of Sir Noise D'Void of Funk? I think not. That's why it's a close call... Hmmm I guess I can keep both.
Sure, I've wasted all my savings and my future children's college funds on mini LPs, but at least I think I'm finished with these tiny replicas for awhile. Maybe I can avoid debt!
In other music news, I've discovered the joy of Pandora for the iPhone. I can't figure out how to change the names of my stations though. As much as I love Neil Young radio and Funkadelic radio, I'd like to change James' all-time favorite Newsom radio to "Hirsute Folk Radio." Not that I think Joanna Newsom is hairy, but I'm sure the rest of her band is. When hippies learn to write songs instead of jam on their instruments, they become freak folkers. That's the recipe.
Current Music Monday listening: Low. Not the band, the album.
Last Thursday the set came and the drool began to flow freely from my mouth. I told Jen that she'd have to sleep on the floor so the mini LP set could get the bed. She's very jealous of this set. If you were to ask her, she'd say that she doesn't approve of me having it because it costs so much money. But in truth, it's really because she thinks I'll leave her for the set. This is a valid fear I guess. Jen is a lovable gal with many jokes and smiles to offer at all times. But does she come with a mini t-shirt iron on? Does she come with a mini comic book detailing the adventures of Sir Noise D'Void of Funk? I think not. That's why it's a close call... Hmmm I guess I can keep both.
Sure, I've wasted all my savings and my future children's college funds on mini LPs, but at least I think I'm finished with these tiny replicas for awhile. Maybe I can avoid debt!
In other music news, I've discovered the joy of Pandora for the iPhone. I can't figure out how to change the names of my stations though. As much as I love Neil Young radio and Funkadelic radio, I'd like to change James' all-time favorite Newsom radio to "Hirsute Folk Radio." Not that I think Joanna Newsom is hairy, but I'm sure the rest of her band is. When hippies learn to write songs instead of jam on their instruments, they become freak folkers. That's the recipe.
Current Music Monday listening: Low. Not the band, the album.
Friday, August 15, 2008
friendly Fridays: i'm typing this on my iPhone edition
hey everyone I am currently extremely hot at a bar typing this on my iPhone. What's friendly about this evening? Not much at all. There's a crackhead in one booth who apparently is writing an expose for elle magzine. I personally wouldn't hire this guy but to each their own. I'll tell you what's friendly though...Dizzy bee! The cutest characters since snood... I don't have the means to put an image up at this moment... This is a very lame AND anti social entry... Sorry readers and sorry present company... I just didn't want to leave this empty!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: TOP 5 iPHONE APPLICATIONS (THAT DON'T EXIST)
TOP 5 iPhone applications that don't exist yet... FYI, developers who can actually execute this, comment me, I'll remove the post and we can make some fucking money for real.
1. Microwave: This application will simulate the keypad on your microwave. Put your food in, walk away and zap from a distance. The iPhone will also send a signal that will use complex science to test the temperature of the food in case you need to cook longer.
2. Skyline: Curious what the current skyline of Cairo looks like? I know you're as big a fan of Dubai as I am! Skyline will take you to any city in the world. Skylines will be interactive. Let your fingers fly between the buildings of the world!
3. Zoo: You know what's great about a zoo? Tons of animals. You know what sucks? You can't interact with most of them. Well now you can, with the iPhone Zoo! Walk through various real life zoos and play zoo keeper. It's Tamagotchi meets Zoo Tycoon. Pet the lion the wrong way and hear him growl! And best of all? You can have your animals produce babies with the drop of a finger. No more line to see the Baby Panda!
4. Google Maps: War Edition... Google already lets you track earthquakes in real time, how about wars? You can browse the most unstable regions of the world, link to videos, news reports, even mark how likely you'd be to visit various war torn countries!
5. AGE/RACE... Import photos or take a picture of any person on the street and see what they'll look like at 80 or at 8! Ever want to know what your boyfriend would look like if he were Indian? Now including Eskimo!
1. Microwave: This application will simulate the keypad on your microwave. Put your food in, walk away and zap from a distance. The iPhone will also send a signal that will use complex science to test the temperature of the food in case you need to cook longer.
2. Skyline: Curious what the current skyline of Cairo looks like? I know you're as big a fan of Dubai as I am! Skyline will take you to any city in the world. Skylines will be interactive. Let your fingers fly between the buildings of the world!
3. Zoo: You know what's great about a zoo? Tons of animals. You know what sucks? You can't interact with most of them. Well now you can, with the iPhone Zoo! Walk through various real life zoos and play zoo keeper. It's Tamagotchi meets Zoo Tycoon. Pet the lion the wrong way and hear him growl! And best of all? You can have your animals produce babies with the drop of a finger. No more line to see the Baby Panda!
4. Google Maps: War Edition... Google already lets you track earthquakes in real time, how about wars? You can browse the most unstable regions of the world, link to videos, news reports, even mark how likely you'd be to visit various war torn countries!
5. AGE/RACE... Import photos or take a picture of any person on the street and see what they'll look like at 80 or at 8! Ever want to know what your boyfriend would look like if he were Indian? Now including Eskimo!
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: IOWA
Hey folks. Sorry for the delay. I was off watching Solomon Burke and Etta James go nuts at the Hollywood Bowl!
Today's entry will be quick.
Of all the states I've been to, Iowa is by far the cheapest. Not in terms of cost of living but in terms of its place on my list o' states. Although I never spent quality time in Mississippi or Alabama, I at least drove through the state. My automobile was on the pavement for two hours plus. Iowa on the other hand? Pure detour just so I could check it off the list. As I got ready to leave my hotel in Lincoln, Nebraska, I saw that if I drove 30 minutes out of the way, I could cross the Iowa state line. And that's just what I did. Not much more to say. I stopped at a gas station and bought a lotto ticket as proof.
I knew a few folks from Iowa who spoke fondly of Des Moines. I don't have much interest in returning. My one lotto ticket was plenty. I'm searching hard for something to add here, some sort of near death experience or cryptic animal sighting but I think I've more than summed it up.
Today's entry will be quick.
Of all the states I've been to, Iowa is by far the cheapest. Not in terms of cost of living but in terms of its place on my list o' states. Although I never spent quality time in Mississippi or Alabama, I at least drove through the state. My automobile was on the pavement for two hours plus. Iowa on the other hand? Pure detour just so I could check it off the list. As I got ready to leave my hotel in Lincoln, Nebraska, I saw that if I drove 30 minutes out of the way, I could cross the Iowa state line. And that's just what I did. Not much more to say. I stopped at a gas station and bought a lotto ticket as proof.
I knew a few folks from Iowa who spoke fondly of Des Moines. I don't have much interest in returning. My one lotto ticket was plenty. I'm searching hard for something to add here, some sort of near death experience or cryptic animal sighting but I think I've more than summed it up.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: MONSTERS ARE EVERYWHERE
No this isn't a post about Condi the Vampire or Bush the Bogeyman. I'm talking real life storybook monsters here. It all started a couples weeks ago with the Montauk Monster, a beast so terrifying that I can't put its picture on this blog. I'm sure you've all seen it by now anyway. Despite reports that this freak was a turtle without his shell, many scientists saw nothing but a decomposed raccoon. Apparently there's some sort of language mix-up where the animal that most human beings call "monster," scientist human beings call "raccoon." Those crazy smart fucks.
Now I need to post a picture just for comparison's sake
MONSTER
RACCOON
But this is really old news... There's a new monster now! Something called a Chupacabra. It's some sort of mix between a coyote and a kangaroo. At least it looks like that. It could be any number of things really. I'll let the video explain
This proves little. It looks like a coyote. They freeze it to show the "snout" but some coyotes can have big snouts too, especially coyotes from Texas who've been eating barbecue for years and years. Seriously, most monsters are regular animals. Just people with bad eyesight seeing ugly fauna. Like look at this monster... pretty terrifying...
Now I need to post a picture just for comparison's sake
MONSTER
RACCOON
But this is really old news... There's a new monster now! Something called a Chupacabra. It's some sort of mix between a coyote and a kangaroo. At least it looks like that. It could be any number of things really. I'll let the video explain
This proves little. It looks like a coyote. They freeze it to show the "snout" but some coyotes can have big snouts too, especially coyotes from Texas who've been eating barbecue for years and years. Seriously, most monsters are regular animals. Just people with bad eyesight seeing ugly fauna. Like look at this monster... pretty terrifying...
Monday, August 11, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: 88 DRUMS
So thanks to my sister, we finally have four responses to the quiz!! And we have a winner too. Congratulations to Christine! You have won an evening with Hugs. At either your or Hugs' request, the evening can be chaperoned. Hugs just had a bath last night so he's feeling clean and confident!
And now for the answers.
1. C: There are 59,000 Chihuahuas in Los Angeles.
2. B: There are 1,262 Chihuahuas named Princess (all of which were featured in the inexcusable Beverly Hills Chihuahua).
3. D: 1986. Meaning my building was built right before buildings became earthquake safe. It must've been retrofitted though because I had quite the ride last week when that thing hit. I actually still have vertigo from it.
4. B: The LA Riots. In case that seems odd to you, you probably don't know about Korean grocers in the hood... I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of my creative answers here.
5. B: Jay Leno. We had a few Dr. Dre guesses. That would've been cool. But no, I saw Jay Leno driving an antique car on Ventura.
6. E: The Petersen ... Everyone said The Hollywood Bowl, including my sister who was at the Hollywood Bowl with me in 1991 when we saw Mandy Potamkin. At least the rest of you have a good excuse. Jules, this was a freebie!! Here's a bonus question for just you. When's my birthday? H
Now onto the music segment of the day. I had the unbelievable pleasure of seeing Eye and The Boredoms conduct 88 drummers on Friday night (8.08.2008, starting at 8:08 of course). The composition was supposed be 88 minutes but it was more like 100. It was amazing the whole time. In that 100 minutes we had everything from rock to tribal to noise to jazz to polyrhythmic soul to anything else you can imagine. I couldn't believe how synced up everything was. No cacophony unless that was the intention of the piece at that specific moment. I've included a few pictures. See how close I was! My ears are popping just thinking about that decibel level.
Then on Saturday night I watched the TIVO'ed opening ceremonies and there were 2008 drummers. My experience doesn't seem as cool any more. Although, the Chinese drummers each had a single drum. These guys on Friday had full drum sets. And the Chinese drummers only played for a few minutes, not a hundred. I think it all evens out in the end, don't you?
In honor of Friday night's experience, I've composed a list of the 5 Craziest Music Events I've witnessed. This is not a list of the 5 best performances. For sure, all the performances on this list were good to great, but that's not a prerequisite. No no no, this is a little of the 5 neatest, most out there, visually stunning and/or audience participatory musical extravaganzas!
IN ABSOLUTELY NO ORDER... Don't believe me, well I'll prove it.
5. or 1. The Flaming Lips Boom Box Show at The Troc in Philly. This was pre-Soft Bulletin. As some remember, the Flaming Lips had a pretty great album that was split amongst 4 Discs that were meant to be played on 4 stereos simultaneously. This album was derived from something that Wayne Coyne used to do in parking lots with a bunch of cars. Each car would get a tape of music and they'd pop the tape in the stereo and with Wayne and others conducting, each car would play the tapes, stop the tapes, turn up the volume, and so on to create a "symphony" of sorts. The Boom box event was the same sort of deal but with boom boxes instead of car stereos. They got 30-40 volunteers from the audience (me included!) to get on stage and control a boom box. Each member of the Lips conducted one third of the boom boxes. They would tell us when to play or stop or crank the volume. So yes, Alex Pudlin was a member of The Flaming Lips for a day.
4. or 2. The Beck Puppet Show at the Wiltern in LA. Marionettes of Beck and band acting out the entire show on a mini stage as the real Beck and band played. Not that Beck's performance was bad but the little Beck certainly had him beat. If you weren't at the show, here's an official video with the same puppets
3. or 1. or 6. Daft Punk at Coachella. The secret of the pyramid is out by now. This is where it all started I think. Maybe not. I'm sure they did the pyramid somewhere else too. They music was pumping but it was really the lights that allowed my Coachella-worn body to dance another step at midnight.
2. or 3. or 10. The Knife at the El Rey in LA. Another electronic visual masterpiece. You can see this whole performance (at a different venue) on DVD. It's not really describable in words. Lots of graphics, lasers, glowing faces, puppet creatures and steel drums. Here's a clip.. and no this IS NOT a music video. This is the live show
1. or 1.5 or 5.8 or 88... The 88 Drummers at the Tar Pits in LA
Here's the last few seconds...
And now for the answers.
1. C: There are 59,000 Chihuahuas in Los Angeles.
2. B: There are 1,262 Chihuahuas named Princess (all of which were featured in the inexcusable Beverly Hills Chihuahua).
3. D: 1986. Meaning my building was built right before buildings became earthquake safe. It must've been retrofitted though because I had quite the ride last week when that thing hit. I actually still have vertigo from it.
4. B: The LA Riots. In case that seems odd to you, you probably don't know about Korean grocers in the hood... I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of my creative answers here.
5. B: Jay Leno. We had a few Dr. Dre guesses. That would've been cool. But no, I saw Jay Leno driving an antique car on Ventura.
6. E: The Petersen ... Everyone said The Hollywood Bowl, including my sister who was at the Hollywood Bowl with me in 1991 when we saw Mandy Potamkin. At least the rest of you have a good excuse. Jules, this was a freebie!! Here's a bonus question for just you. When's my birthday? H
Now onto the music segment of the day. I had the unbelievable pleasure of seeing Eye and The Boredoms conduct 88 drummers on Friday night (8.08.2008, starting at 8:08 of course). The composition was supposed be 88 minutes but it was more like 100. It was amazing the whole time. In that 100 minutes we had everything from rock to tribal to noise to jazz to polyrhythmic soul to anything else you can imagine. I couldn't believe how synced up everything was. No cacophony unless that was the intention of the piece at that specific moment. I've included a few pictures. See how close I was! My ears are popping just thinking about that decibel level.
Then on Saturday night I watched the TIVO'ed opening ceremonies and there were 2008 drummers. My experience doesn't seem as cool any more. Although, the Chinese drummers each had a single drum. These guys on Friday had full drum sets. And the Chinese drummers only played for a few minutes, not a hundred. I think it all evens out in the end, don't you?
In honor of Friday night's experience, I've composed a list of the 5 Craziest Music Events I've witnessed. This is not a list of the 5 best performances. For sure, all the performances on this list were good to great, but that's not a prerequisite. No no no, this is a little of the 5 neatest, most out there, visually stunning and/or audience participatory musical extravaganzas!
IN ABSOLUTELY NO ORDER... Don't believe me, well I'll prove it.
5. or 1. The Flaming Lips Boom Box Show at The Troc in Philly. This was pre-Soft Bulletin. As some remember, the Flaming Lips had a pretty great album that was split amongst 4 Discs that were meant to be played on 4 stereos simultaneously. This album was derived from something that Wayne Coyne used to do in parking lots with a bunch of cars. Each car would get a tape of music and they'd pop the tape in the stereo and with Wayne and others conducting, each car would play the tapes, stop the tapes, turn up the volume, and so on to create a "symphony" of sorts. The Boom box event was the same sort of deal but with boom boxes instead of car stereos. They got 30-40 volunteers from the audience (me included!) to get on stage and control a boom box. Each member of the Lips conducted one third of the boom boxes. They would tell us when to play or stop or crank the volume. So yes, Alex Pudlin was a member of The Flaming Lips for a day.
4. or 2. The Beck Puppet Show at the Wiltern in LA. Marionettes of Beck and band acting out the entire show on a mini stage as the real Beck and band played. Not that Beck's performance was bad but the little Beck certainly had him beat. If you weren't at the show, here's an official video with the same puppets
3. or 1. or 6. Daft Punk at Coachella. The secret of the pyramid is out by now. This is where it all started I think. Maybe not. I'm sure they did the pyramid somewhere else too. They music was pumping but it was really the lights that allowed my Coachella-worn body to dance another step at midnight.
2. or 3. or 10. The Knife at the El Rey in LA. Another electronic visual masterpiece. You can see this whole performance (at a different venue) on DVD. It's not really describable in words. Lots of graphics, lasers, glowing faces, puppet creatures and steel drums. Here's a clip.. and no this IS NOT a music video. This is the live show
1. or 1.5 or 5.8 or 88... The 88 Drummers at the Tar Pits in LA
Here's the last few seconds...
Friday, August 8, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: DO WE HAVE A WINNER?
We finally have a third answer to the quiz! I would like at least one more response before I declare a winner. Without giving anything away, one person has 4/6, one person has 3/6 and one person has 1/6.
Yesterday I watched some pre-school shows with my boss' dogs. Maybe pre-school writing is the life for me. What crazy shit. First I watched some Blue's Clues. In this episode the weirdo guy (who I could EASILY play mind you) had to feed potatoes to these three pigs. There was a chart that told him how many potatoes to feed each pig. The brown pig got 5 potatoes, the red pig got 3 potatoes and the pink pig got 0 potatoes. That pink pig seemed really sad that he didn't get any potatoes. But then the farmer came home and gave him some peppers. Apparently he can't eat potatoes. Maybe he doesn't actually like them or perhaps he's even allergic to them. Or at least intolerant. Pink potato pig=gassy pig. The other pigs DO NOT like that... I think I've witnessed this same exact scene with my three owls. Each one is about the size of a potato though, so I think three or five potatoes would cause definite owl death. And Huggie would have to be the piggy that would get 5 or else he would riot.
Then after Blue's Clues, this other show came on. I have no idea what it was but it was insane. There was this orange cyclops and a blue cat and a yellow robot. They were singing songs about random topics. I can't remember what exactly, but it wasn't blatantly educational. And it wasn't all cloying like Barney either... I saw some interview with the dude who wrote the "I Love You" Barney song. He was so shocked that the American Military played it repeatedly to suspected terrorists as a method of torture. Seems pretty obvious to me. I'm more shocked that he was shocked. But then again, if your crowning achievement is that punk ass song, I imagine you don't see the world quite as I do.
I took picture of these three oddball Noggin characters with my phone. I'm sure I could find out more about them with a little research, but that would spoil the fun. I'll even give them my own names. I'll call the robot, Porridge Bear. The cat will be named Pagoda. And the cyclops will be Cyclopamo. What enjoyable friends. Perfect for a Friendly Friday.
Yesterday I watched some pre-school shows with my boss' dogs. Maybe pre-school writing is the life for me. What crazy shit. First I watched some Blue's Clues. In this episode the weirdo guy (who I could EASILY play mind you) had to feed potatoes to these three pigs. There was a chart that told him how many potatoes to feed each pig. The brown pig got 5 potatoes, the red pig got 3 potatoes and the pink pig got 0 potatoes. That pink pig seemed really sad that he didn't get any potatoes. But then the farmer came home and gave him some peppers. Apparently he can't eat potatoes. Maybe he doesn't actually like them or perhaps he's even allergic to them. Or at least intolerant. Pink potato pig=gassy pig. The other pigs DO NOT like that... I think I've witnessed this same exact scene with my three owls. Each one is about the size of a potato though, so I think three or five potatoes would cause definite owl death. And Huggie would have to be the piggy that would get 5 or else he would riot.
Then after Blue's Clues, this other show came on. I have no idea what it was but it was insane. There was this orange cyclops and a blue cat and a yellow robot. They were singing songs about random topics. I can't remember what exactly, but it wasn't blatantly educational. And it wasn't all cloying like Barney either... I saw some interview with the dude who wrote the "I Love You" Barney song. He was so shocked that the American Military played it repeatedly to suspected terrorists as a method of torture. Seems pretty obvious to me. I'm more shocked that he was shocked. But then again, if your crowning achievement is that punk ass song, I imagine you don't see the world quite as I do.
I took picture of these three oddball Noggin characters with my phone. I'm sure I could find out more about them with a little research, but that would spoil the fun. I'll even give them my own names. I'll call the robot, Porridge Bear. The cat will be named Pagoda. And the cyclops will be Cyclopamo. What enjoyable friends. Perfect for a Friendly Friday.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: MY READERS HAVE DESERTED ME!
Today was the day I was supposed to give the results of last week's quiz, but only two people responded including my girlfriend who I bugged to respond. This is UNACCEPTABLE! Please go to last week's Thursday entry and enter your answers in the comments section. If you don't, not only will we have no WINNER (the prize is an evening with my owl) but Thoughtful Thursdays will become TERRIBLE THURSDAYS. Remember that posting about the Greyhound beheading? Well I'll tell stories like that every single Thursday. If you want to avoid this fate (not a beheading but having to read about things LIKE a beheading), please please please, at least two more people respond to the quiz!! It's fun, I tell you. Just like those Cosmo quizzes.
Speaking of the Greyhound incident, Canada pulled a bunch of Greyhound billboards saying there was no such thing as "Bus Rage." Their PR people decided to remove them after last week's event.
And now... this post is FINISHED... If I see a comment on last week's quiz by midnight, I'll write some more... If not, this'll be a short one... If I see two comments by midnight, I will reveal our winner and answers... I'm disappointed folks, very very disappointed.
Speaking of the Greyhound incident, Canada pulled a bunch of Greyhound billboards saying there was no such thing as "Bus Rage." Their PR people decided to remove them after last week's event.
And now... this post is FINISHED... If I see a comment on last week's quiz by midnight, I'll write some more... If not, this'll be a short one... If I see two comments by midnight, I will reveal our winner and answers... I'm disappointed folks, very very disappointed.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: INDIANA
Indiana's one of those states I've spent many hours in, but haven't really done anything of substance. It's always a place to drive through. On the two occasions I drove through central Indiana, it struck me as a pretty uneventful place. I believe I ate at a Chili's outside Indianapolis. Or maybe it was Outback. Indianapolis has a more impressive skyline than I expected. Now Southern Indiana is far from dull. It's actually one of the more terrifying places I've been in this country. Perhaps it was the hour (2AM) or the conditions (thick down comforters of fog) or what I was listening to on the radio (a reading of Stephen King's short story about a little boy and his monster grandma), but Southern Illinois is a horrifying place.
I'm pretty sure that my trepidation had nothing to do with the above mentioned factors. They didn't help, but what I saw would've scared me on a sunny day at noon listening to The Commodores. Not sure how many of you have been to huge truck stops in the middle of the country. If not, let me tell you about them. These places are massive. Usually there's three or four fast food places, a convenience store, a diner, showers, an arcade, and more. Sort of like the service stops on the east coast but much bigger. Some of the truck stops have fairly elaborate services catered to truckers. For instance, they have racks of books on tape and CD that a trucker can rent at one service stop and return at another one. Convenient, right? Sure, if you hate Blacks and Jews, because the only book I saw had a skinhead with a rebel flag on the cover. I'm sure there were plenty of Toni Morrison and Elie Wiesel books, but I tuned everything out except The Joys of Aryan Pride or whatever the fuck it was called. I'm wary of truckers as is. KKK truckers? Aw hell naw.
Oooh, something big just dawned on me. I've actually been to Northern Indiana too. When I took a train cross country. I remember stopping in Gary. I never got out. A lot's been written about Gary. Usually it's mentioned in the same breath as East St. Louis or Oakland. Not very flattering. I've met a few folks from Gary. Apparently the first thing most people ask them is if they know Michael Jackson and his brothers (and sister). They're from Gary, so I guess it's a fair question. People sometimes ask me if I know Will Smith or Betsy Ross or Rocky.
Indiana, my dear, I don't think I'll ever return to you unless the Eagles are playing a Superbowl at RCA dome. Don't get on my case. You owe it to my Jewish ancestors with your abundance of hate books.
REMINDER, THE QUIZ ENDS TOMORROW. ONLY TWO PEOPLE HAVE ENTERED TO WIN AN EVENING WITH HUGS.
I'm pretty sure that my trepidation had nothing to do with the above mentioned factors. They didn't help, but what I saw would've scared me on a sunny day at noon listening to The Commodores. Not sure how many of you have been to huge truck stops in the middle of the country. If not, let me tell you about them. These places are massive. Usually there's three or four fast food places, a convenience store, a diner, showers, an arcade, and more. Sort of like the service stops on the east coast but much bigger. Some of the truck stops have fairly elaborate services catered to truckers. For instance, they have racks of books on tape and CD that a trucker can rent at one service stop and return at another one. Convenient, right? Sure, if you hate Blacks and Jews, because the only book I saw had a skinhead with a rebel flag on the cover. I'm sure there were plenty of Toni Morrison and Elie Wiesel books, but I tuned everything out except The Joys of Aryan Pride or whatever the fuck it was called. I'm wary of truckers as is. KKK truckers? Aw hell naw.
Oooh, something big just dawned on me. I've actually been to Northern Indiana too. When I took a train cross country. I remember stopping in Gary. I never got out. A lot's been written about Gary. Usually it's mentioned in the same breath as East St. Louis or Oakland. Not very flattering. I've met a few folks from Gary. Apparently the first thing most people ask them is if they know Michael Jackson and his brothers (and sister). They're from Gary, so I guess it's a fair question. People sometimes ask me if I know Will Smith or Betsy Ross or Rocky.
Indiana, my dear, I don't think I'll ever return to you unless the Eagles are playing a Superbowl at RCA dome. Don't get on my case. You owe it to my Jewish ancestors with your abundance of hate books.
REMINDER, THE QUIZ ENDS TOMORROW. ONLY TWO PEOPLE HAVE ENTERED TO WIN AN EVENING WITH HUGS.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: CAN YOU GET MORE HORRIFYING
A few week ago I read about this dude who raped a Columbia student for 19 hours, set her on fire, cut off her eyelids and performed plenty of other horrifying acts. It made me sick, furious, scared, all of the above. But I just heard about this other event today that's haunted me much more. I'm sure this is very old news since it happened last week, but humor me please. On a secluded Greyhound bus ride through the lonely heartland of Canada, a man started stabbing another man repeatedly. The bus driver slammed on the breaks and the other passengers ran out of the car. Next thing the passengers know, the perpetrator is holding the severed head of his victim. By this point the cops show up. When the first cop gets on the bus, the man has begun to cut off body parts and eat them. I mean what the fuck? Seriously seriously seriously. WHAT THE FUCK? People that do this to others are as sick as can be, but people that do this to others IN PUBLIC make Satan look like Mandela.
It's a bit unclear why this man stabbed, beheaded and ate a total stranger, but apparently he's not proud of himself, since he begged the judge to kill him. I'm almost 100% convinced that I will have nightmares about this tonight. I apologize in advance for causing nightmares for others, but I had to share this terror with somebody. Of course I sit right now typing this with my front door unlocked, just asking for a mad man to come in here... Let me lock the door... Okay. Door locked.
What lessons can we learn? Don't take a bus in Manitoba? Don't a Greyhound at all? I recall a good friend of mine who took a ton of acid and rode to Vegas on a Greyhound. Is that what happened here? I bet the drug czar hopes so. Then they'll be enough drug propaganda forever. Oh wait, it's Canada. Do they have a drug czar? I don't think they have the death penalty. I don't believe in the death penalty, but wow. Maybe in this case. Good lord, it's so scary. Can you imagine being on that bus? The post traumatic stress possibilities here are immense. Will this maniac pay their psychiatry bills at least? Like seriously, I'm experiencing some PTS just thinking about it.
Happy thoughts. Fluffy clouds and sugar cookies and chunks of face. NOOOO! No chunks of face! Oh damn you Mr. Li. Look what you've done to my evening thoughts...
It's a bit unclear why this man stabbed, beheaded and ate a total stranger, but apparently he's not proud of himself, since he begged the judge to kill him. I'm almost 100% convinced that I will have nightmares about this tonight. I apologize in advance for causing nightmares for others, but I had to share this terror with somebody. Of course I sit right now typing this with my front door unlocked, just asking for a mad man to come in here... Let me lock the door... Okay. Door locked.
What lessons can we learn? Don't take a bus in Manitoba? Don't a Greyhound at all? I recall a good friend of mine who took a ton of acid and rode to Vegas on a Greyhound. Is that what happened here? I bet the drug czar hopes so. Then they'll be enough drug propaganda forever. Oh wait, it's Canada. Do they have a drug czar? I don't think they have the death penalty. I don't believe in the death penalty, but wow. Maybe in this case. Good lord, it's so scary. Can you imagine being on that bus? The post traumatic stress possibilities here are immense. Will this maniac pay their psychiatry bills at least? Like seriously, I'm experiencing some PTS just thinking about it.
Happy thoughts. Fluffy clouds and sugar cookies and chunks of face. NOOOO! No chunks of face! Oh damn you Mr. Li. Look what you've done to my evening thoughts...
Monday, August 4, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: BRAIN SONGS
COME ON PEOPLE, ENTER THE QUIZ!! IT'S ONLY SIX QUESTIONS. If you haven't seen the questions, just take a look at last Thursday's thought.
I wanted to introduce some sort of list component to Music Mondays, but I'm really terrible with lists. There are so many songs or albums that slip my mind until years later. By that point, no one will really care about Alex's Top 10 Songs About Trains or Alex's Top 10 Songs by Artists with Italian Accents.
Damn, that's lazy. I should at least try, right? How about I'll only deal with songs that come to mind now and I will promise not to feel bad for forgotten songs? Great.
Hmmm... I've tried a few categories in my head but I hit walls. Like Top 10 Songs About Disease (I can only think of Ween songs). Oooh, ooh, I got it...
Top Songs With Brain In the Title (in no particular order, except for number 1).
1. Funkadelic's "Maggot Brain" - The greatest guitar playing ever recorded
2. The Flaming Lips' "Love Yer Brain"- Foreshadowing their more contemplative Soft Bulletin/Yoshimi sound by a good 10 years
HERE'S A LIVE VERSION OF THE SONG
3. The Flaming Lips' "Brainville" - Another classic brain Lips song from several years later. One of the standouts on their fanfuckingtastic Clouds Taste Metallic album... Here's some kid's class project music video of the song. I don't condone the video. Just want some good way for you to hear the song without having to actually store it anywhere.
4. Sly and the Family Stone's "Can't Strain My Brain" - Damn awesome horn line. A lost gem from the grossly underrated Small Talk LP.
GO TO TRACK 5
5. Jungle Bros' "Brain" - Wow, haven't thought about this song or this group in at least five years. This track was produced by ?uestlove/Roots and has a nice groove. I had this album on cassette.
6. Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage" - A Dark Side of the Moon classic. Many folks who hate Pink Floyd even like this one.
7. Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain" - Damn, this song isn't great per se, but I loved it so much as an 11 year-old that I have to include it.
All the YouTube links of the video are disabled for embedding. If you don't know this song, then you may not have ears, so playing it for you now wouldn't matter.
8. Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention's "Who Are the Brain Police" - I used to love Zappa and now I can barely listen to him at all. Hell, Zappa still has some great tunes, even if I find the whole Zappa thing to be a bit irritating by now. "Freak Out" and "We're Only In It For the Money" are great albums. Don't try arguing. "Who Are the Brain Police" is a horrifying sludgy cut that sorta slides up and down your cerebral cortex.
9. Ween's "Help Me Scrape the Music Off My Brain" - A gorgeous country tune with Ween's typical grotesque lyrics. Winning combination!
10. Parliament's "Presence of a Brain" - P-Funk starts and ends the list. This closing track on Parliament's "Up For the Down Stroke" is sorta funky, sorta trippy, all perfect brain music.
CAN'T FIND THIS ONLINE... HERE'S A CLIP AT LEAST
Damn, 10 brain songs! Look at that. I'm sure there are more. Probably I'll think of at least three that should replace ones on this list. But this'll give you a good head start if you're craving a tune about a brain.
I wanted to introduce some sort of list component to Music Mondays, but I'm really terrible with lists. There are so many songs or albums that slip my mind until years later. By that point, no one will really care about Alex's Top 10 Songs About Trains or Alex's Top 10 Songs by Artists with Italian Accents.
Damn, that's lazy. I should at least try, right? How about I'll only deal with songs that come to mind now and I will promise not to feel bad for forgotten songs? Great.
Hmmm... I've tried a few categories in my head but I hit walls. Like Top 10 Songs About Disease (I can only think of Ween songs). Oooh, ooh, I got it...
Top Songs With Brain In the Title (in no particular order, except for number 1).
1. Funkadelic's "Maggot Brain" - The greatest guitar playing ever recorded
2. The Flaming Lips' "Love Yer Brain"- Foreshadowing their more contemplative Soft Bulletin/Yoshimi sound by a good 10 years
HERE'S A LIVE VERSION OF THE SONG
3. The Flaming Lips' "Brainville" - Another classic brain Lips song from several years later. One of the standouts on their fanfuckingtastic Clouds Taste Metallic album... Here's some kid's class project music video of the song. I don't condone the video. Just want some good way for you to hear the song without having to actually store it anywhere.
4. Sly and the Family Stone's "Can't Strain My Brain" - Damn awesome horn line. A lost gem from the grossly underrated Small Talk LP.
GO TO TRACK 5
5. Jungle Bros' "Brain" - Wow, haven't thought about this song or this group in at least five years. This track was produced by ?uestlove/Roots and has a nice groove. I had this album on cassette.
6. Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage" - A Dark Side of the Moon classic. Many folks who hate Pink Floyd even like this one.
7. Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain" - Damn, this song isn't great per se, but I loved it so much as an 11 year-old that I have to include it.
All the YouTube links of the video are disabled for embedding. If you don't know this song, then you may not have ears, so playing it for you now wouldn't matter.
8. Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention's "Who Are the Brain Police" - I used to love Zappa and now I can barely listen to him at all. Hell, Zappa still has some great tunes, even if I find the whole Zappa thing to be a bit irritating by now. "Freak Out" and "We're Only In It For the Money" are great albums. Don't try arguing. "Who Are the Brain Police" is a horrifying sludgy cut that sorta slides up and down your cerebral cortex.
9. Ween's "Help Me Scrape the Music Off My Brain" - A gorgeous country tune with Ween's typical grotesque lyrics. Winning combination!
10. Parliament's "Presence of a Brain" - P-Funk starts and ends the list. This closing track on Parliament's "Up For the Down Stroke" is sorta funky, sorta trippy, all perfect brain music.
CAN'T FIND THIS ONLINE... HERE'S A CLIP AT LEAST
Damn, 10 brain songs! Look at that. I'm sure there are more. Probably I'll think of at least three that should replace ones on this list. But this'll give you a good head start if you're craving a tune about a brain.
Friday, August 1, 2008
FUC KING FRIDAYS: DEBUT EDITION
Oh don't worry, Friendly Fridays will be back. Just taking a break because I found out a very interesting fact. The Summer Olympics in London in 2012 will be the XXX games! And get this, in honor of that, fucking will be a demonstration sport. It'll officially be called "Competitive Copulation." They'll have singles and doubles. Well double and quadruples. No masturbation competitions (aka singles). Maybe triples too (menage a trois for the French). I'm not sure of actual logistics. NBC recently bought the Spice Channel, so it'll only air there.
Okay, you caught me. I'm telling a joke. A tall tale. Or is it tall tail? I know it's tall tale, but I like the idea of a tall tail better. Ah, speaking of tall, here's a friendly idea for you. We see people who are 6'1" and above and we usually think of them as "tall." We see people who are 6'8" and we think of them as giants. But compared to a giraffe, they're all dwarfs. Uh-huh. Not only is beauty in the eye of the beholder, but height is as well. Now that's a damn friendly thought.
Okay, you caught me. I'm telling a joke. A tall tale. Or is it tall tail? I know it's tall tale, but I like the idea of a tall tail better. Ah, speaking of tall, here's a friendly idea for you. We see people who are 6'1" and above and we usually think of them as "tall." We see people who are 6'8" and we think of them as giants. But compared to a giraffe, they're all dwarfs. Uh-huh. Not only is beauty in the eye of the beholder, but height is as well. Now that's a damn friendly thought.
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