Friday, January 30, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW YORK

Our wheels have finally landed on another massively huge state. I had to make a choice here: create a second post for New York City or just gloss over it. I've decided on the latter, mainly because New York should be saved for Subwaywheel Sundays or something, right? It's not really in the spirit of Wagonwheel. Plus, Philly's so close to New York. I don't know why that matters but I've just been there so many times that it doesn't feel right. I decide Wagonwheel rules, so that's where we'll stand. If you've got a problem, start your own Wagonwheel Wednesdays. Of course, I will sue you for copyright infringement but whatever, small price to pay for being stubborn... So yes, no full NYC report. I'll summarize Gotham with a quick overrated/underrated list

OVERRATED: The Yankees, Times Square, Midtown, Parts of Brooklyn, Kim's Video (sorry, I have Amoeba).

UNDERRATED: Other Parts of Brooklyn, Pizza and Bagels (yes, they're that good), Harlem (real Harlem, not Columbia Harlem).

New York understandably takes the shine away from the rest of the state to the point that anything forty minutes north of New York is considered "upstate." I've had the pleasure of visiting most regions of New York, so I'll be the first to say that NYC should change it's name. Or just become five separate cities again. Enough with the population inflation.

So let's say you're adventurous and want to explore beyond city limits, here's what I can recommend

-THE CATSKILLS

As seen in Dirty Dancing, these small mountains once held bustling summer retreats for families such as mine. They still exist as structure, but they bustle little in 2009. I had the pleasure of going to the famous Kutcher's and Raleigh hotels for the ATP festival last year. It's a horribly dated dusty place but if you're there for a good reason (family reunion, concert, etc) the Shining-ness of it all is actually somewhat endearing.

-BUFFALO/NIAGARA FALLS

In the NW region of the state lies a small city that has caused confusion amongst foodies and sports fans for years (if the team name is Bills, why is the logo a Buffalo?) The winters are so miserable that residents could only afford to heat themselves up with hot sauce. And so the "Buffalo wing" was born. Started at a place called The Anchor Bar, the buffalo wing has gone on to confuse everyone from Jessica Simpson to your three year-old son. No, it's not called a "buffalo wing" because it comes from or looks like or is fed to buffaloes. The city's called Buffalo and they made some fuckin brilliant wing sauce one day and like any good city named the food after themselves. Just like a cheesesteak outside of Philly isn't really a cheese steak, a wing outside of Buffalo ain't shit. I knew someone from Buffalo who recommended a place called Duff's to me. Oh my. So DAMN GOOOOOOOD. And now I recommend it to you.

About 45 minutes up the road is the very Niagara Falls you read about as a child. Except they sort of suck from the American side. Unless you have immigration problems, make the trek over the border. You won't be sorry. I haven't been to Iguazu or other WORLD FAMOUS falls, but this beast can roar pretty loud.

-FROM BUFFALO TO ALBANY

I don't really know. Rochester and Syracuse are both on this path but I did the drive at night. I stopped at Roy Rogers at a rest stop and had the worst cup of coffee I've ever had in my life.

-THE HUDSON RIVER VALLEY

Oh what a river. You know you're a rather kickass region if a famous American school of painting is named after you. The drive from NYC to the region is just lovely. Shockingly you see a lot of the Hudson river. If you have a couple days to kill, it's the perfect spring or autumn getaway. Hey, maybe you'll get inspired to do this:



-LAKE GEORGE

Not really sure about this place. I went for a few days with my camp 14 years ago. I remember a lot of stands selling Beavis and Butthead shirts. Felt like the Jersey Shore.

-LONG ISLAND

Here's a secret. The "island" of Long Island is the same "island" of Brooklyn and Queens. It's all one island. I used to come here every summer with my parents to visit our friends in the Hamptons. Then one summer his daughter gave me a beer. And another. And another. I believe by the time all was said and done, I had consumed ten beers and also had a screwdriver. I woke up in my vomit. I may've had sex with a dog named Lacey. I don't remember. Anything's possible. The next morning I told my mother that it was all from the little wine I had at dinner. I blamed it on my weak tolerance. She didn't believe me. Rightfully so.

And thus concludes New York.

Here's the detailed picture

Monday, January 26, 2009

MUSIC MONDAYS... AND I'M BACK

I traveled hours and waited in lines, nearly suffocating ten times on the metro, inches from falling on the third rail, all to see Aretha Franklin perform at the Capitol. Too bad she only got one song. They had to move things along for some other guy. Oh well. It was worth the wait.

Now I'm back!

After DC, I spent far too much money in New York on records. The funny thing is that I was really close to spending no money on records. The first several shops I went into were mostly underwhelming. And then I bought one album. And the rest was downhill. The good thing at least is that unlike jewelry or shoes, rare records are mostly affordable. Yes, there are albums that go for thousands but none on my wish list are nearly that high. As far as shopping addictions go, this one is mostly manageable. Of course, I'll have no job in two weeks and then I'll be forced to sell my stuffed owl Huggie into slavery. Sorry adorable bird, times are rough.

In other music news, Neil Young - the closet thing I have to an idol- has officially pissed me off. For those who think Chinese Democracy's delays were terrible, consider the history of Neil Young's archives. First promised in the eighties (or maybe even the seventies), it has now had about fifteen release dates come and go. In that time it has grown from a six CD set to a 10 Blu-Ray set. I even have the thing pre-ordered on Amazon, although it's just been announced that Neil has delayed the release yet again... For a new album of songs... about eco-friendly cars. Already he has released this video for the title track... I love Neil and I love that he does whatever the fuck he wants and that you have to deal with this kind of shit to get the gems, but oh man... I admit, I actually kind of like the song and video as guilty pleasures. But come on now. Seriously. I WANT MY ARCHIVES



One more thing, get the new Animal Collective. Hype that's matched by super quality.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: NEW MEXICO

It's been awhile since we rode the wagon across the US. Today we're back with one of my favorite states: New Mexico! Known as one of the "Four Corners" and also for being the sequel to the country of Mexico, New Mexico has several charms. From the epic thunderstorms at dusk to the bluest skies you've ever seen at most other times, New Mexico is a place for lovers, dreamers and those who just like to stroll. It's also the sight of my first encounter with anti-Semitism. I was at a Santa Fe crafts fair and this white lady was selling some fake Indian shit. I say that mainly because there are plenty of real Hopi Indians (amongst other tribes) selling genuine crafts in Santa Fe. I wanted this ceramic bull she was selling for 5 bucks. 5 seemed a bit steep for me. After all I was about 8 with a meager allowance.

"I'll give you 3," I said.

My dad walked over and the merchant quickly brought up my bargaining, telling my dad "that boy Jewed me down."

Oh good times.

Honestly, New Mexico is great. It doesn't have as much beauty as say Utah, but it has a similarly rugged landscape. Not quite desert, but close. High desert they may call certain areas. The people are much nicer too (minus that one woman). Santa Fe is a great little town and the food... oh my the food. RED or GREEN is the question they'll ask you. This refers to chili sauce of course. The fajitas are damn astounding. There aren't that many states that serve straight up Southwestern food. Most are more on the Mexican or Barbecue side of the fence. But if you like blue corn enchiladas, then this is the state for you!

I need to go back to visit the famous White Sands National Monument. I've been to or through New Mexico about four or five times and I've almost gone to White Sands almost every time but I keep missing it. Damn it! The problem is that it's a bit out of the way. This year I'll go. I must! I must! Just look at this!!!



Just stunning.

Well here's where I have been. Albuquerque. Santa Fe. Taos. The place where they set off some nukes (I think that's near White Sands, so I must've been close...)

Oh nevermind... it was Los Alamos. Totally opposite directoin.

Wow look at this map of my travels. Funny pattern. Looks sort of like a person bending over.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: THIS BLOG

I hate to say it but blog entries have become a chore. Sad, isn't it? I want the blog to be like a massage. After a long day, an entry should soothe my muscles. The composition of entry should be like Epsom salt. Like a spoonful of peanut butter and a lick of brownie batter without the salmonella risk. Not on my back, in my mouth. Tastes good. Right? But it isn't. Blogs taste like sandpaper right now. Like overcooked salmon. It just another thing to do. This proves that I'm lazy. That's okay I guess. Wait wait, no. Lazy is not okay... I don't think I'm actually lazy. I just hold myself to high standards.

Now on to to business... I've spent the last few weeks trying to unsubscribe from e-mail lists. You don't really realize quite how many things you are subscribed to until you start trying to remove yourself. I thought the best way to go about doing it was to wait until I got an e-mail from a list I didn't want to belong to and then unsubscribe. Overall this probably was the best way but I'm still getting e-mails constantly from lists I'm subscribed to! It's like a hydra. You cut off the head and it keeps growing back. Okay that analogy isn't quite right because once I unsubscribe from a site, I stop getting e-mails. It's not like there's one particular secret list (like the special hydra head) that I can burn and all the others will die. Plus don't hydras grow two heads for every one you cut? It's more like a 300 hundred headed beast who you only think has 10 heads, but once you go into battle and start chopping heads, you see there's many more heads than you first thought. Or like trying to guess how many jelly beans are in a jar. Or guessing the price of musical instruments or golf sets on the Price is Right. I'm sorry but that drum set is not worth $1000.

As we speak, I just got another one!

This post is probably better suited for my ranting on Thoughtful Thursdays, but too late now. I'm not writing a new entry. Sorry.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: OLD PEOPLE AND WEED

So old people drive slowly. This isn't much of a revelation. It's just true. At least for most old folks. Or at least the ones in Cadillacs. It's partially due to eyesight, partially due to perception (when you're old you probably think things are moving faster than they are), partially due to spine curvature and the decreased distance between foot and pedal that people past 65 experience. People who smoke weed also drive slowly. That's definitely due to changed perception. To make matters super complicated, in states with medical marijuana lots of old people smoke weed! So then what? Is it a double negative? It's not like I see some old people driving slowly and others driving REAAAAALLLLLY slowly. Maybe they don't drive.

I remember one time I was in Philly and this asshole cut me off. I was at a red light and when it turned green this car just went flying in front of me and shot past at like 70 miles an hour. As the car passed, I looked over and much to my surprise, it was an old man! Definitely 70 or older. Usually I'd be pissed if someone cut me off but this time I was actually happy. I had never seen an old driver with such confidence, such bold courage! I felt like anything was possible at that point.

I know that when I'm old I'll drive slowly without realizing it. I'll probably have pride that I'm not driving slowly, but a good look at the speedometer will reveal "14 MPH." This leads me to a slightly different topic. MPH signs. How many different speed limits have I seen signs for?

Definitely 25. And 35. And 55. And 65. And 70. And 75. What in between? 15 MPH in a school zone. In parking lots I think you see 5 and 10 MPH often. I know I've seen a 45 MPH sign once or twice. 40? Perhaps. Not sure. Same with 50 and 30. They probably exist. My sister's old school had a 7 MPH sign. It wasn't a fake looking sign either. It was a real speed limit sign. It just said 7 MPH. That's the best.

Actually this is the best.



The description from where I found this says "The Marine Terminal complex has nicely paved roads -- and peculiar speed limit signs. All the speeds are marked with peculiar values: 11, 16, 21, 26, 29 miles per hour. The odd signs are part of the terminal's safety program, operating on the theory that the unusual number will force drivers to pay more attention to the speed limits. The tour guides seemed evenly split on the program's effectiveness."

This is in Valdez, Alaska in case you want to see it in person.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

TOPICAL TUESDAYS: PROTESTS

As a Jew, I have some natural allegiance to Israel. But as someone who cares about suffering, I have some natural allegiance to Palestinians. The more I learn, the more obvious it is that the problems in the Middle East can't be blamed on any one group of people. These are ancient historical problem as well as recent historical problems. The legacy of war and past atrocities have tainted the whole conversation. Here's what I have realized though. As I watch cops walking down the street to keep the protests in line, it's become clear: the Israeli government and Hamas both suck.

I don't see how Hamas' firing of rockets does anything to help the Palestinian people. Obviously they know Israel will go crazy. I guess they do it precicesly for that reason. They know what will happen and they hope they can get worldwide sympathy from Israel over reacting. Which is what always happens. Yes, Israel should defend itself. As a small country, as a Jewish homeland amidst hostile Muslim neighbors, it can't come off as weak. But the machismo of the recent attacks and this whole "shock and awe" mentality does abolutely nothing. You'll never kill all the militants.

That's my two cents. Most of my parents' Zionist friends would tie me to a pole, cover me in honey and unleash a swarm of bees on me for even saying a negative word about Israel. But that's the problem. Just look at all the various Mid-East players' reaction to Obama. It's either you support bombing the shit out of Gaza or you support Hamas. Black and fucking white has gotten us nowhere.

Meanwhile, Obama's senate seat is a mess and they're calling him and his allies "racist" for blocking Burris even though his appointment was designed just to put everyone in this predicament in the first place. All this CONTROVERSY and the man hasn't even been sworn in yet.

Speaking of which, I'll be there. They say it'll be the largest gathering in US history. History1 I'm equally terrified and exhilerated. You know me and large crowds.

Now it's time to try to make it home in the protest traffic. The helicopter is out...

Monday, January 5, 2009

MUSIC MONDAYS: BACK IN TOWN!

I'm back in town! My trip was wonderful. CD's are so cheap in Buenos Aires. Records are pretty cheap too. I mostly bought Bee Gees albums that are out of print in America for anywhere from 5-9 dollars. I really love the Bee Gees (pre-disco and post-disco). It's really two bands. The sound is just completely different. People make fun of the disco Bee Gees often. Easy targets I guess. Three white guys dressed in white singing high. Plus they're brothers. Siblings make great targets... But if anything, disco Bee Gees is more timeless. "Nights on Broadway" still sounds fresh today! Late 60's Bee Gees on the other hand can often come off as quite dated. It's even easier to make fun of the romantic folk-pop era Bee Gees than the "Saturday Night Fever" era. But for the most part, despite being overly earnest at times, albums like "1st," "Horizontal" and "Trafalgar" toe the line pretty well. Their undisputed masterpiece, at least of pre-disco Bee Gees, is "Odessa." It's finally being re-released in lavish 3-disc form next week! I'm already waiting for the package.

My other latest obsession is Eddie Kendricks. I've always loved David Ruffin (the other Temptations lead-vocalist if you haven't heard) but for some reason never paid much attention to Kendricks. I didn't know one way or another. Simply no opinion. But oh me, oh motherfucking my. His sweet falsetto is Curtis-good. Just heartbreaking shit.

Just listen



Damn.

Has to be the best song I've ever heard about losing your love. I assume from the lyrics that Johnny Mae died, but maybe she just left. Either way, the result is the same. She's dead to him.

Here's one more for good measure... This one makes me just wanna throw my hands in the air and testify. Good Lord. I'm a Jew and this song isn't religious at all but you can feel the church in there. If you know gospel, you know what I mean. (Side note, sampled by Kanye on Lil Wayne's "Let the Beat Build")