Here's a thought...
It feels like Friday. I keep having to remind myself it's Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. Halloween is tomorrow and I'm nearly ready. I still have to get a cane, white gloves and some gold facepaint. Mr. Peanut here I come! Tonight I need to have Jen draw the peanut ridges on my shirt and make the little white hat band that reads "Mr. Peanut."
Oh my, I'm hungry. I had an early lunch, which is always tough for me. My stomach usually only stays full for 2-3 hours. Good thing I have a fast metabolism. If I didn't, they'd have to use a crane to get me to work every day. Can you imagine if you had to travel to work by crane? That would be equal parts cool and embarassing. Costly too I imagine.
Here's another thought.... The Phillies won! If you know me, you'll probably hear me mention this fact for the next several months. Get used to it.
Tonight is October 30th (aka "Mischief Night"... or is that an East Coast-only thing?). I was supposed to be preparing to see Neil Young but then he decided to cancel because some of the workers at The Forum are on strike and he doesn't want to break the picket line. This is bullshit for so many reasons. I respect Neil's principles here but apparently these guys have been on strike on and off for two years! Why would you book this show at The Forum!? Since I ordered through this special pre-order site (not Ticketmaster) I have to mail my ticket back to get a refund. I could always keep the ticket and go to the rescheduled show but since there's no date for the show, just "sometime in 2009," I think I'll have to vote with my pocketbook on this one and return the ticket. After all, I just pre-ordered his stupid archives on Blu-Ray for 300, even though they'll still probably never come out... I could use a $100 refund.
Damn, Neil. The economy sucks! Why are you putting me on the street?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
THE PHUCKING PHIGHTING PHILLIES HAVE JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm too drunk with excitement to write Wagonwheel today. This is fucking unreal. I'm still expecting another game.
WE WON
WE WON
WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE WON
WE WON
WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: RAIN RAIN GO AWAY
What's another few days after waiting my whole life, right? My baseball hating girlfriend thinks that baseball players are "wimps" for not playing in the rain. That's the current situation in the World Series, where the clinching Game 5 was put on suspension after the rain got a bit out of hand. Now they're tentatively set to resume the final 3.5 innings tomorrow night.
BULLSHIT!
They should've called this game long before the Rays tied it at 2-2 in the top of the sixth. Jen may think that not playing in the rain is reflective of how un-manly baseball players are, but that's obviously insane. The outfield has a great draining system so rain doesn't matter that much. But if you add a shit load of water to dirt it becomes mud. There were puddle on the field! Puddles. That's neither safe nor fair.
Anyway... here's the biggest problem. I was emotionally ready to win last night. I was in the mindset for celebration. I'm sure I'll get pumped up again but it suddenly feels out of reach. The intoxicating euphoria of the moment made me actually think that the Phillies could win The World Series. Now I've returned from this delusional land of prophetic trumpets and I'm reminded that in the past 25 years Philadelphia sports teams (in the major 4 sports) are 0 for 7 in Championship Series'.
Let me get a bit more specific, because I know you care SO much.
Since May 31, 1983
HOCKEY: Flyers are 0 for 3 in the Stanley Cup Finals (85,87,97)
FOOTBALL: Eagles are 0 for 1 in the Superbowl (that miserable 2005 loss to the Patriots... We kept it close but that's worth little once McNabb started puking).
BASKETBALL: The last team to win a championship! When I was 19 months old! In 2001 the Sixers made it back to the finals and lost to the Lakers.
BASEBALL: The Phillies were the first team to lose during the "Curse" era, losing the World Series to the Baltimore Orioles in Oct of 1983. They would go on to lose in 1993 as well on Joe Carter's demoralizing homerun off Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams.
So there you have it... Not much reason to believe... Prove me wrong fate.
BULLSHIT!
They should've called this game long before the Rays tied it at 2-2 in the top of the sixth. Jen may think that not playing in the rain is reflective of how un-manly baseball players are, but that's obviously insane. The outfield has a great draining system so rain doesn't matter that much. But if you add a shit load of water to dirt it becomes mud. There were puddle on the field! Puddles. That's neither safe nor fair.
Anyway... here's the biggest problem. I was emotionally ready to win last night. I was in the mindset for celebration. I'm sure I'll get pumped up again but it suddenly feels out of reach. The intoxicating euphoria of the moment made me actually think that the Phillies could win The World Series. Now I've returned from this delusional land of prophetic trumpets and I'm reminded that in the past 25 years Philadelphia sports teams (in the major 4 sports) are 0 for 7 in Championship Series'.
Let me get a bit more specific, because I know you care SO much.
Since May 31, 1983
HOCKEY: Flyers are 0 for 3 in the Stanley Cup Finals (85,87,97)
FOOTBALL: Eagles are 0 for 1 in the Superbowl (that miserable 2005 loss to the Patriots... We kept it close but that's worth little once McNabb started puking).
BASKETBALL: The last team to win a championship! When I was 19 months old! In 2001 the Sixers made it back to the finals and lost to the Lakers.
BASEBALL: The Phillies were the first team to lose during the "Curse" era, losing the World Series to the Baltimore Orioles in Oct of 1983. They would go on to lose in 1993 as well on Joe Carter's demoralizing homerun off Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams.
So there you have it... Not much reason to believe... Prove me wrong fate.
Monday, October 27, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: OH ELTON
I finally got the chance to see Elton John live. Some of you out there may laugh at Elton and I'll concede that he's a bit outrageous and does have some terrible songs. But he also has a good five or six classic or near-classic albums. This was the Vegas Red Piano show so it was a bit of a different experience. I knew David LaChapelle directed it but I had no idea that it would be just as much his show as Elton's. Outrageous is an understatement. I expected some cursing, maybe some nudity in the videos and what not. But an inflatable pair of titties that shot out stringy milk from the nipples? And phalli aplenty! Bananas and the like.
Elton sounded great as well. Usually you expect performers' voices to degrade into "death rattles" as they get older. Elton's voice actually did degrade considerably in the 80s due to growths on his vocal chords. But the surgery must've been successful because he boomed out the hits! And I must say, for a show that was pretty much all hits, he chose wisely. The highlight? Either a very extended Rocket Man (complete with outtakes from the video where Justin Timberlake plays Elton) or a heart-wrenching "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." SSMT was accompanied by one of the odder videos I've ever seen. It started with a guy playing a younger Elton, sticking his head in an oven. As Elton "dies," his spirit leaves his body and starts dancing with this creepy naked woman with a blonde fro and ice skating with a bear. At one point the creepy woman has a fire-cracker/sparkling thingy sticking out of her special region. I'm a pretty literary guy, but I'm not quite sure what to take from this one.
Now, I have to cut this short... The Phillies are on... Up in the World Series 3-1
WILL THIS BE THE DAY?
I haven't seen a Philly team win a chamionship ever. The Sixers won in 1983, but I was 1.5...
Oh my. I'm nervous.
Elton sounded great as well. Usually you expect performers' voices to degrade into "death rattles" as they get older. Elton's voice actually did degrade considerably in the 80s due to growths on his vocal chords. But the surgery must've been successful because he boomed out the hits! And I must say, for a show that was pretty much all hits, he chose wisely. The highlight? Either a very extended Rocket Man (complete with outtakes from the video where Justin Timberlake plays Elton) or a heart-wrenching "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." SSMT was accompanied by one of the odder videos I've ever seen. It started with a guy playing a younger Elton, sticking his head in an oven. As Elton "dies," his spirit leaves his body and starts dancing with this creepy naked woman with a blonde fro and ice skating with a bear. At one point the creepy woman has a fire-cracker/sparkling thingy sticking out of her special region. I'm a pretty literary guy, but I'm not quite sure what to take from this one.
Now, I have to cut this short... The Phillies are on... Up in the World Series 3-1
WILL THIS BE THE DAY?
I haven't seen a Philly team win a chamionship ever. The Sixers won in 1983, but I was 1.5...
Oh my. I'm nervous.
Friday, October 24, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: FRUIT BRUTE
I've become obsessed with Fruit Brute. Who? Fruit Brute! Don't feel bad, I hadn't heard of him either. Surely you know Count Chocula. Well Fruit Brute was his cousin. Sort of. He was one of the other General Mills "Monster Themed Cereals." This motley crew of monsters was made up of the delicious chocolatey Count Chocula, the Strawberry pop of Frankenberry, the cool blueberry delight of Boo Berry and what I can only imagine as the tastebud explosion of Fruit Brute. They stopped making Fruit Brute in 1983 but I can't figure out why. If you look up the monster cereals on Wikipedia you'll learn that the initial batch of Frankenberry contained a dye that didn't break down in the body leading to what some dubbed "Frankenberry Stool." But yet they won't say who killed Fruit Brute. I suspect a silver bullet since that's really the only way werewolves die. Maybe it was a silver banana.
Now here's where the story gets a bit interesting. In 1988 they resurrected the Fruity Monster serial but this time handed it over to a new character named Fruity Yummy Mummy! Now come on. How can you kill off such an adorably wild mascot and replace him with a Mummy? Couldn't they have kept Fruit Brute and just had Frosted Yummy Mummy or Peanut Buttery Mummy? I actually remember Fruity Mummy well. I had thought the cereal was only my imagination, but apparently not. I guess the Fruity thing didn't sell because they discontinued The FY Mummy in the mid-1990's.
I think Fruit Brute should return. He's my new favorite advertising character. In other character news, I'm going to be Mr. Peanut for Halloween!
Now here's where the story gets a bit interesting. In 1988 they resurrected the Fruity Monster serial but this time handed it over to a new character named Fruity Yummy Mummy! Now come on. How can you kill off such an adorably wild mascot and replace him with a Mummy? Couldn't they have kept Fruit Brute and just had Frosted Yummy Mummy or Peanut Buttery Mummy? I actually remember Fruity Mummy well. I had thought the cereal was only my imagination, but apparently not. I guess the Fruity thing didn't sell because they discontinued The FY Mummy in the mid-1990's.
I think Fruit Brute should return. He's my new favorite advertising character. In other character news, I'm going to be Mr. Peanut for Halloween!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: THE UGLIEST FIELD
My thought of the day is that the Tampa Bay Rays (nee Devil Rays) play in the worst stadium in the major leagues. I know a thing or too about shitty stadiums, having endured twenty-something years of the now demolished concrete donut of Philly, The Vet. This Rays place is truly awful though. Probably the only good thing about it is that it's named "Tropicana Field" and Tropicana orange juice is pretty tasty.
So what makes it so bad? For one it's a dome. Domes usually suck. Retractable domes are fine because they can still grow real grass, but an all-year dome has about as much personality as a Lunchables pizza. Sure no rain delays, no wind, no cold. Great. Give me an American cheese and white bread sandwich while you're at it.
Let's take a little virtual tour.
Here's the outside
And the field, which looks a bit like a giant miniature golf hole.
Inside rotunda... at least they remind you of the delicious Florida OJ.
The outfield has a tank of sting rays for kids to pet, so I guess that's pretty cool too.
And a close-up of the dome
See all those catwalks up there? Well they're all in play! If it hits in homerun territory, it's a homerun, and if it hits the catwalk in foul territory, it's a foul ball. But I'm pretty sure that if it bounces back into the field, it's a playable ball. Absurd.
Tampa Bay (which isn't even a city.. it's a body of water) congrats, you have the worst stadium in sports... Oh, and go Phils! (Not that my team allegiance has anything to do with my opinion
So what makes it so bad? For one it's a dome. Domes usually suck. Retractable domes are fine because they can still grow real grass, but an all-year dome has about as much personality as a Lunchables pizza. Sure no rain delays, no wind, no cold. Great. Give me an American cheese and white bread sandwich while you're at it.
Let's take a little virtual tour.
Here's the outside
And the field, which looks a bit like a giant miniature golf hole.
Inside rotunda... at least they remind you of the delicious Florida OJ.
The outfield has a tank of sting rays for kids to pet, so I guess that's pretty cool too.
And a close-up of the dome
See all those catwalks up there? Well they're all in play! If it hits in homerun territory, it's a homerun, and if it hits the catwalk in foul territory, it's a foul ball. But I'm pretty sure that if it bounces back into the field, it's a playable ball. Absurd.
Tampa Bay (which isn't even a city.. it's a body of water) congrats, you have the worst stadium in sports... Oh, and go Phils! (Not that my team allegiance has anything to do with my opinion
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MISSISSIPPI
What's got four eyes but can't see? If you answered a blind quad-clops, you're wrong. The answer is of course Mississippi.
Three cheers for the Deep South! Here's another state I mostly drove the hell through because of my Southern prejudices. I got out of the car once, at a mall in Meridian, Mississippi. Eerily, three days later a disgruntled worker at some business establishment in Meridian shot up the entire office floor, killing six. Good thing it wasn't a McDonald's worker at the mall or I might've been shot.
I can't say much about the cities or scenic drives of Mississippi since I remained on the highway the whole time. The state has no mountains that I can rave about, no geothermic fields or canyons. Not really much that's noticeable from the road. I saw some pleasant trees.
Perhaps what I remember most about Mississippi is that the Meridian mall had ATMs from my mother's bank (which will remain nameless to protect her identity and the bank's identity). Seems innocent, right? Well this bank has no actual locations in Mississippi. So when the screen comes up that says "Unless you are a ___ Bank customer, you must pay a $2.00 fee," you almost definitely have to pay the fee. This may be okay in Bel-Air, but last time I checked, Mississippi was the poorest state in the country. Fortunately, the bank no longer has their ATMs in this mall. Not sure if they realized the oppressive nature of their ways or just found that it was no longer profitable.
So there's the four I's for you.
Three cheers for the Deep South! Here's another state I mostly drove the hell through because of my Southern prejudices. I got out of the car once, at a mall in Meridian, Mississippi. Eerily, three days later a disgruntled worker at some business establishment in Meridian shot up the entire office floor, killing six. Good thing it wasn't a McDonald's worker at the mall or I might've been shot.
I can't say much about the cities or scenic drives of Mississippi since I remained on the highway the whole time. The state has no mountains that I can rave about, no geothermic fields or canyons. Not really much that's noticeable from the road. I saw some pleasant trees.
Perhaps what I remember most about Mississippi is that the Meridian mall had ATMs from my mother's bank (which will remain nameless to protect her identity and the bank's identity). Seems innocent, right? Well this bank has no actual locations in Mississippi. So when the screen comes up that says "Unless you are a ___ Bank customer, you must pay a $2.00 fee," you almost definitely have to pay the fee. This may be okay in Bel-Air, but last time I checked, Mississippi was the poorest state in the country. Fortunately, the bank no longer has their ATMs in this mall. Not sure if they realized the oppressive nature of their ways or just found that it was no longer profitable.
So there's the four I's for you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: BREAK FROM POLITICS
I'm going to be really bored at work when this election is over. But right now I need a break from politics. So how about I play anchor for a minute and report you the news.
In keeping with the regular evening news format, let me tell you about some LA Crime that happened in the last week near where I live and work.
A couple blocks from my house there was a mugging. It's not in an area I'd regularly walk though. There were also some aggravated assaults, but again not in the areas where I walk after dark.
Near my office... Wow, there was a rape. Oh my. That could've been a date rape. Not that that makes it any better... Wow that's really scary. Just a few blocks away, on Masselin, a street where Jen and I used to park all the time when she lived over there (and also where someone broken into my car and stole my navigation system). Horrifying... There was a mugging around there too... Damn, no where's safe in LA.
Speaking of which, let's see what crime has gone down in Beverly Hills. Hmm, let's see, nothing. What about some other exclusive LA areas? Hancock Park? Again, not much dangerous... So pretty much any area that looks like a suburb is mostly okay, but any area that looks like your typical city, even a slight bit, has the possibility of danger.
Fascinating.
Let's round up a few other LA neighborhoods, since I know my readers come from far and wide.
Compton: Nothing apparently. That seems a bit odd. Even Beverly Hills had a couple "thefts from vehicle." Not saying that Compton is more dangerous than Beverly Hills... Oh wait, it says "outside jurisdiction."
Watts: We have a homicide. In all my months of looking at crime maps, I haven't seen too many yellow dots. It's always sad. That's an actual person who was murdered and here they just appear as a yellow dot. I hope they got the funeral they deserved... I'm officially creeped out now.
Westwood: Aggravated assault
Venice: Some muggings... And a rape. Shit. Bad.
Koreatown: Surprisingly not too much. We have an aggravated assault and a mugging. Not great but Koreatown is quite large and doesn't have the best reputation.
Echo Park: Again, another neighborhood with a bad reputation. But like Koreatown, crime's been minimal over the past week.
Downtown: Lots of aggravated assaults. This could be normal incidents, but let's not forget how many homeless people live in downtown LA. There's a possibility that some of them are beating on non-homeless people and on each other. But let's also not forget that homeless people aren't all that popular. It's possible that homed people are beating the homeless. No one deserves that.
I can't look at this anymore. It's making me miserable. Let's move on with our news report.
Weather: A bit brisk, but mostly okay. Probably smog.
Sports: Phillies are in the world series!
And that concludes our Tuesday news.
In keeping with the regular evening news format, let me tell you about some LA Crime that happened in the last week near where I live and work.
A couple blocks from my house there was a mugging. It's not in an area I'd regularly walk though. There were also some aggravated assaults, but again not in the areas where I walk after dark.
Near my office... Wow, there was a rape. Oh my. That could've been a date rape. Not that that makes it any better... Wow that's really scary. Just a few blocks away, on Masselin, a street where Jen and I used to park all the time when she lived over there (and also where someone broken into my car and stole my navigation system). Horrifying... There was a mugging around there too... Damn, no where's safe in LA.
Speaking of which, let's see what crime has gone down in Beverly Hills. Hmm, let's see, nothing. What about some other exclusive LA areas? Hancock Park? Again, not much dangerous... So pretty much any area that looks like a suburb is mostly okay, but any area that looks like your typical city, even a slight bit, has the possibility of danger.
Fascinating.
Let's round up a few other LA neighborhoods, since I know my readers come from far and wide.
Compton: Nothing apparently. That seems a bit odd. Even Beverly Hills had a couple "thefts from vehicle." Not saying that Compton is more dangerous than Beverly Hills... Oh wait, it says "outside jurisdiction."
Watts: We have a homicide. In all my months of looking at crime maps, I haven't seen too many yellow dots. It's always sad. That's an actual person who was murdered and here they just appear as a yellow dot. I hope they got the funeral they deserved... I'm officially creeped out now.
Westwood: Aggravated assault
Venice: Some muggings... And a rape. Shit. Bad.
Koreatown: Surprisingly not too much. We have an aggravated assault and a mugging. Not great but Koreatown is quite large and doesn't have the best reputation.
Echo Park: Again, another neighborhood with a bad reputation. But like Koreatown, crime's been minimal over the past week.
Downtown: Lots of aggravated assaults. This could be normal incidents, but let's not forget how many homeless people live in downtown LA. There's a possibility that some of them are beating on non-homeless people and on each other. But let's also not forget that homeless people aren't all that popular. It's possible that homed people are beating the homeless. No one deserves that.
I can't look at this anymore. It's making me miserable. Let's move on with our news report.
Weather: A bit brisk, but mostly okay. Probably smog.
Sports: Phillies are in the world series!
And that concludes our Tuesday news.
Monday, October 20, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: RANDOM ROUND-UP
-Amoeba once gave good money for CDs. Now they're just like any other used store. 3 or 4 bucks a disc, tops. I've all but given up taking music I want to sell there now that I've discovered the joys of selling on Amazon marketplace. But in recent weeks, I've had very few bites on my Amazon items. Probably because no one has 401k $ to fall back on anymore. Most of the items I have for sale would be considered "rare" albums. Do you think if I brought them to Amoeba with a preface like "these are rare and out-of-print. Please give me a good deal" it would help? Doubtful.
-Good news. The Zeppelin mini LP box set I pre-ordered is indeed the Japanese set, not some American reproduction. What this means is that it'll be great. Whenever the Americans try to do Mini LPs, they tend to fuck something up. Plus, whereas the original Japanese set retailed at about 300, this one is a mere 180. Still a lot of money, sure. But it's 12 discs, complete replicas with all the bonus goodies that came with the original releases. Overall not a terrible deal... Now I have to sell the two Zeppelin mini LPs I already have (see the first item on this post). In other Zeppelin news, Robert Plant is considering NOT going on tour with Zeppelin. Apparently Jack White may replace him. Interesting. I hope he brings Alicia Keys along.
-I need to get something to play my iPhone in the car. Anyone know anything good? I don't have a tape deck, so I can't use one of those handy converters. I'd have to do the radio transmitter option. Usually they all suck but perhaps someone knows of a good one. My pal Byron has a great one but it doesn't really work for the new iPhones, just the old ones.
-I have two extra Elton John tickets for this weekend in Vegas. Let me know if you're interested.
-Sometimes I crave the culinary equivalent of musical numbers. Like mmm wouldn't you just love to eat "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Tainted Love"?
-In honor of Bob Dylan's fantastic Bootleg Series Volume 8, I will begin listening to the entire bootleg series starting with volume 1 tonight. I currently don't have Volume 6 but I ordered it from Amazon for half off. It should be here by the time I reach it in my listening progression.
-When I write songs I find myself coming up with great verses but then mediocre choruses. Do any of my blog readers out there have a knack for a catchy hook? If so, maybe we can team up and change the face of music.
-Good news. The Zeppelin mini LP box set I pre-ordered is indeed the Japanese set, not some American reproduction. What this means is that it'll be great. Whenever the Americans try to do Mini LPs, they tend to fuck something up. Plus, whereas the original Japanese set retailed at about 300, this one is a mere 180. Still a lot of money, sure. But it's 12 discs, complete replicas with all the bonus goodies that came with the original releases. Overall not a terrible deal... Now I have to sell the two Zeppelin mini LPs I already have (see the first item on this post). In other Zeppelin news, Robert Plant is considering NOT going on tour with Zeppelin. Apparently Jack White may replace him. Interesting. I hope he brings Alicia Keys along.
-I need to get something to play my iPhone in the car. Anyone know anything good? I don't have a tape deck, so I can't use one of those handy converters. I'd have to do the radio transmitter option. Usually they all suck but perhaps someone knows of a good one. My pal Byron has a great one but it doesn't really work for the new iPhones, just the old ones.
-I have two extra Elton John tickets for this weekend in Vegas. Let me know if you're interested.
-Sometimes I crave the culinary equivalent of musical numbers. Like mmm wouldn't you just love to eat "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Tainted Love"?
-In honor of Bob Dylan's fantastic Bootleg Series Volume 8, I will begin listening to the entire bootleg series starting with volume 1 tonight. I currently don't have Volume 6 but I ordered it from Amazon for half off. It should be here by the time I reach it in my listening progression.
-When I write songs I find myself coming up with great verses but then mediocre choruses. Do any of my blog readers out there have a knack for a catchy hook? If so, maybe we can team up and change the face of music.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: PHILLIES MAKE THE WORLD SERIES!!!!
In honor of the Phillies dissection of the Dodgers and first World Series berth in 15 years, I am offering a Phillies-centric thought.
Once upon a time, in the land of South Philadelphia, a strange green bird/reptile/goofball creature named the Phillie Phanatic was born. He's the sort of mascot that one loves to hate. I remember thinking at one point in my life in the middle of a baseball game "this guy's lame," until he had me cracking up doing a priceless (and somewhat crude) dance with the 2nd base umpire to Alicia Keys' "Falling."
If you have no idea who this crazy guy is, check out what he does to the cotton candy boy!
A mascot Hall-of-Famer in fact... But what if the Phanatic one day, God forbid, died. Who would replace him? I think any creature or animal would be unfairly compared to the Phanatic but what about a human mascot? The Brewers have Bernie the Brewer and the Mets have Mr. Met. Why can's the Philadelphia Phils have... Phil Collins!? He could have a portable plush drumset sidekick.
Or perhaps they can resurrect Ireland's heavy soul metal king Phil Lynott from the dead.
What about Phil Donahue? You could make a pretty squeshie huggable version of Donahue.
What other worthy "Phils" could be the Phillies new mascot in the event that the Phanatic moves on to mascot heaven?
How about John Phil-ip Sousa?
Now that would be classy.
Once upon a time, in the land of South Philadelphia, a strange green bird/reptile/goofball creature named the Phillie Phanatic was born. He's the sort of mascot that one loves to hate. I remember thinking at one point in my life in the middle of a baseball game "this guy's lame," until he had me cracking up doing a priceless (and somewhat crude) dance with the 2nd base umpire to Alicia Keys' "Falling."
If you have no idea who this crazy guy is, check out what he does to the cotton candy boy!
A mascot Hall-of-Famer in fact... But what if the Phanatic one day, God forbid, died. Who would replace him? I think any creature or animal would be unfairly compared to the Phanatic but what about a human mascot? The Brewers have Bernie the Brewer and the Mets have Mr. Met. Why can's the Philadelphia Phils have... Phil Collins!? He could have a portable plush drumset sidekick.
Or perhaps they can resurrect Ireland's heavy soul metal king Phil Lynott from the dead.
What about Phil Donahue? You could make a pretty squeshie huggable version of Donahue.
What other worthy "Phils" could be the Phillies new mascot in the event that the Phanatic moves on to mascot heaven?
How about John Phil-ip Sousa?
Now that would be classy.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MINNESTOA
What do Prince, Bob Dylan and Target have in common? Minnesota obviously. Fine state, really. Maybe not in the winter. Sure, I've never actually been in the cold months, but judging by the indoor walkways that connect nearly all the buildings of downtown Minneapolis, it can't be fun.
Most of my Minnesota adventures have been relegated to the cities. I started in Duluth, home to the country's largest inland port. The aforementioned Mr. Dylan grew up near here. I didn't do much in Duluth, honestly. My hotel had a revolving restaurant. I tried to eat to there since I've always been intrigued by spinning eateries but I felt pretty damn sick immediately, so I got the food to go. Didn't do much else in Duluth. I went to a depressing casino, but that's about all. My Duluthian friend Kristen assures me that it's a wonderful place, but I remain skeptical.
Minneapolis on the other hand was a very welcome surprise. It's a pretty Cosmopolitan place overall. Some solid music stores and great scenery to boot. On the food front it's a bit suspect. I give them credit for at least having lots of ethnic food. But the problem is they need more ethnic people. I know Minneapolis has some diversity but not too many Asians judging by the Thai and Japanese food I ate. At the Thai place, the white waiter asked me how much MSG I wanted on my food. Then at this sushi joint I had something called a 7-spice Dragon Roll, which was really just a Dragon Roll with Old Bay seasoning poured on top of it. Yum!
Let's be more positive. Minneapolis has a great sculpture garden that features a gigantic spoon with a cherry on it. The garden also had a 9-hole mini golf course, with each hole designed by a different artist. The course was closed the day I was there but I got to at least see it and imagine what it would be like to play. Don't underestimate imagination!
The other twin city, St. Paul is pretty shit though. There's really next to nothing there other than a statehouse. It's a sizable city in its own right but it has very little to do.
Minnesota also boasts the thrilling Mall-Of-America. As someone who grew up with one of the nation's largest malls (King of Prussia), I can say with authority that the MOA is a beast. Much has been made about the Amusement Park inside the mall, but equally impressive is the full aquarium. Then there's tons of other fun around the mall. It truly is an Americana treasure.
I'd like to go back to Minnesota one day to check out Voyageurs National Park and a few of the 10,000 lakes (Actually I saw some lakes in Minneapolis. They have some great parks built around a couple of the lakes).
Now if everyone can get out their Prince tambourines and sing along with me... Purple Rain, Purple Raiiiiin!
Most of my Minnesota adventures have been relegated to the cities. I started in Duluth, home to the country's largest inland port. The aforementioned Mr. Dylan grew up near here. I didn't do much in Duluth, honestly. My hotel had a revolving restaurant. I tried to eat to there since I've always been intrigued by spinning eateries but I felt pretty damn sick immediately, so I got the food to go. Didn't do much else in Duluth. I went to a depressing casino, but that's about all. My Duluthian friend Kristen assures me that it's a wonderful place, but I remain skeptical.
Minneapolis on the other hand was a very welcome surprise. It's a pretty Cosmopolitan place overall. Some solid music stores and great scenery to boot. On the food front it's a bit suspect. I give them credit for at least having lots of ethnic food. But the problem is they need more ethnic people. I know Minneapolis has some diversity but not too many Asians judging by the Thai and Japanese food I ate. At the Thai place, the white waiter asked me how much MSG I wanted on my food. Then at this sushi joint I had something called a 7-spice Dragon Roll, which was really just a Dragon Roll with Old Bay seasoning poured on top of it. Yum!
Let's be more positive. Minneapolis has a great sculpture garden that features a gigantic spoon with a cherry on it. The garden also had a 9-hole mini golf course, with each hole designed by a different artist. The course was closed the day I was there but I got to at least see it and imagine what it would be like to play. Don't underestimate imagination!
The other twin city, St. Paul is pretty shit though. There's really next to nothing there other than a statehouse. It's a sizable city in its own right but it has very little to do.
Minnesota also boasts the thrilling Mall-Of-America. As someone who grew up with one of the nation's largest malls (King of Prussia), I can say with authority that the MOA is a beast. Much has been made about the Amusement Park inside the mall, but equally impressive is the full aquarium. Then there's tons of other fun around the mall. It truly is an Americana treasure.
I'd like to go back to Minnesota one day to check out Voyageurs National Park and a few of the 10,000 lakes (Actually I saw some lakes in Minneapolis. They have some great parks built around a couple of the lakes).
Now if everyone can get out their Prince tambourines and sing along with me... Purple Rain, Purple Raiiiiin!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: JOHN MCCAIN and SADAM HUSSEIN SHARE A SOUL
Fine that's a bit of a stretch, but apparently McCain's transition chief aided Sadam. This seems like it should be a bomb shell for someone whose only real hope at this point is the capture of Osama (please notice the S there... OSama not OBama." Yet, I'm not particularly excited by this potential nail in the coffin, mainly because Huffington Post has about as much credibility as Rush Limbaugh at this point. Sure, I read it every day. I even link to it here (along with conservative Drudge Report for comparison). It's entertaining and occasionally it'll break a real story. But until I see this "news" on CNN or USA TODAY or gasp FOX NEWS, I won't think much of it.
Currently none of the above mention the story.
Some more exciting campaign news for you:
Obama's buying ads in video games!
And how about a presidential "crop circle"?
Finally, I just realized that I'll be seeing TV On the Radio two days after the first African-American major party candidate is either elected president or robbed of the presidency (for those that don't follow music, that's a band). Pretty interesting considering they're a band that's 80% Black. And it's not like they shy away from racial commentary. After all, just look at their lyrics, which include lines like "Woke up in a magic ni**er movie with the bright lights pointed at me as a metaphor" and "'Hey Slave' They called and we caved, we answered to a new name. Shout it loud shout it lame, but black face it you're such a good dancer." I can't think of a more perfect band to see two days after this election.
Currently none of the above mention the story.
Some more exciting campaign news for you:
Obama's buying ads in video games!
And how about a presidential "crop circle"?
Finally, I just realized that I'll be seeing TV On the Radio two days after the first African-American major party candidate is either elected president or robbed of the presidency (for those that don't follow music, that's a band). Pretty interesting considering they're a band that's 80% Black. And it's not like they shy away from racial commentary. After all, just look at their lyrics, which include lines like "Woke up in a magic ni**er movie with the bright lights pointed at me as a metaphor" and "'Hey Slave' They called and we caved, we answered to a new name. Shout it loud shout it lame, but black face it you're such a good dancer." I can't think of a more perfect band to see two days after this election.
Monday, October 13, 2008
MUSIC MONDAYS: TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME
Last evening I sat in Dodgers stadium, watching the Phillies lose to the Dodgers. At some point they sang the old hit "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"(perhaps the 7th inning stretch, but I think they only sing "God Bless America" now... or maybe they sing both in the bottom of the 7th). As I listened to the lyrics and all the dumb Dodgers fans sang "Root root root for the Dodgers" I thought how lame it was that everyone changed the lyrics of the song to say their team instead of the generic "home team." Then I thought about it and started to wonder whether or not I got the whole song wrong along. Maybe the lyrics were never "Root root root for the home team" but rather "Root root root for the [home team]" or Root root root for the ________" if you like it written that way better.
According to the lovable community Encyclopedia authors at Wikipedia, the lyrics are "root, root, root for the home team." I guess fans decided saying "Dodgers" or "Giants" or whatever would show more spirit.
What else about this legendary song may you not know?
Well there are two versions: one from 1908 and one from 1927. They both have the same famous lyrics, but their verses are different. Of course we never sing the verses anymore, so for our purposes they're virtually the same. Just in case you care, here are the original lyrics:
1908 Version
Katie Casey was baseball mad,
Had the fever and had it bad.
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev'ry sou
Katie blew.
On a Saturday her young beau
Called to see if she'd like to go
To see a show, but Miss Kate said "No,
I'll tell you what you can do:"
Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.
Katie Casey saw all the games,
Knew the players by their first names.
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Katie Casey knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:
Chorus
1927 Version
Nelly Kelly loved baseball games,
Knew the players, knew all their names.
You could see her there ev'ry day,
Shout "Hurray"
When they'd play.
Her boyfriend by the name of Joe
Said, "To Coney Isle, dear, let's go",
Then Nelly started to fret and pout,
And to him, I heard her shout:
[Chorus]
Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.
Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:
Chorus
It's safe to say that my girlfriend Jen Murse isn't like Katie or Nelly. She's no baseball fiend. In fact, she's not even baseball impartial bystander. She hates baseball. She hates it so much that I can't say anything about baseball without her rolling her eyes. I can't say "look at this team's logo." Nope. She may like the logo but as soon as I tell her it's a baseball team, she dismisses it immediately. Oh well. As Sarah Palin says "We agree to disagree on that one" I think that someone else may've invented the phrase, but she's gotta be the one who popularized it.
According to the lovable community Encyclopedia authors at Wikipedia, the lyrics are "root, root, root for the home team." I guess fans decided saying "Dodgers" or "Giants" or whatever would show more spirit.
What else about this legendary song may you not know?
Well there are two versions: one from 1908 and one from 1927. They both have the same famous lyrics, but their verses are different. Of course we never sing the verses anymore, so for our purposes they're virtually the same. Just in case you care, here are the original lyrics:
1908 Version
Katie Casey was baseball mad,
Had the fever and had it bad.
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev'ry sou
Katie blew.
On a Saturday her young beau
Called to see if she'd like to go
To see a show, but Miss Kate said "No,
I'll tell you what you can do:"
Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.
Katie Casey saw all the games,
Knew the players by their first names.
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Katie Casey knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:
Chorus
1927 Version
Nelly Kelly loved baseball games,
Knew the players, knew all their names.
You could see her there ev'ry day,
Shout "Hurray"
When they'd play.
Her boyfriend by the name of Joe
Said, "To Coney Isle, dear, let's go",
Then Nelly started to fret and pout,
And to him, I heard her shout:
[Chorus]
Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowds;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.
Nelly Kelly was sure some fan,
She would root just like any man,
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along,
Good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Nelly Kelly knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:
Chorus
It's safe to say that my girlfriend Jen Murse isn't like Katie or Nelly. She's no baseball fiend. In fact, she's not even baseball impartial bystander. She hates baseball. She hates it so much that I can't say anything about baseball without her rolling her eyes. I can't say "look at this team's logo." Nope. She may like the logo but as soon as I tell her it's a baseball team, she dismisses it immediately. Oh well. As Sarah Palin says "We agree to disagree on that one" I think that someone else may've invented the phrase, but she's gotta be the one who popularized it.
Friday, October 10, 2008
FRIENDLY FRIDAYS: EATING SEA MAMMALS
"Would I eat a sea mammal?"
I never really thought about this until my friend Peter brought it up. He said he'd never eat a sea mammal. No whales or dolphins because they're too smart and no sea lions, seals or otters cause they're too cute. These are fair points, although I'm not so sure sea lions are really that cute. They're fine but they smell terrible, which makes them a little less cute. Like there were some girls in middle school that kinda dug me and they looked pretty nice but they smelled bad. Odor can makes things a little less than cute at the end of the day.
I'm trying to think if I've ever eaten a sea mammal. I told Peter that I'd had whale before, but how is that possible? Could I really have gotten a whale steak at my local supermarket? Because that's what my whale eating memory is. I remember as a little boy getting a whale filet and eating it with butter. But whales are so protected. Well, now they are. This was the 80s. Reagan was not a big fan of whales...But now that I think of it, it may've been shark. I may be confusing whale with whaler sandwiches (just a fish sandwich they served in the cafeteria). Or maybe I had whale at school. Now I'm really confused.
It's been so long since I've done a Friendly Friday, that I have very little to say. How about I end it with a friendly little link (please ignore the "oh my gods" if you can)?
I never really thought about this until my friend Peter brought it up. He said he'd never eat a sea mammal. No whales or dolphins because they're too smart and no sea lions, seals or otters cause they're too cute. These are fair points, although I'm not so sure sea lions are really that cute. They're fine but they smell terrible, which makes them a little less cute. Like there were some girls in middle school that kinda dug me and they looked pretty nice but they smelled bad. Odor can makes things a little less than cute at the end of the day.
I'm trying to think if I've ever eaten a sea mammal. I told Peter that I'd had whale before, but how is that possible? Could I really have gotten a whale steak at my local supermarket? Because that's what my whale eating memory is. I remember as a little boy getting a whale filet and eating it with butter. But whales are so protected. Well, now they are. This was the 80s. Reagan was not a big fan of whales...But now that I think of it, it may've been shark. I may be confusing whale with whaler sandwiches (just a fish sandwich they served in the cafeteria). Or maybe I had whale at school. Now I'm really confused.
It's been so long since I've done a Friendly Friday, that I have very little to say. How about I end it with a friendly little link (please ignore the "oh my gods" if you can)?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wagonwheel Wednesdays: Michigan
I've always loved to look at Michigan on a map. All those lakes! The two peninsulas! It's really not that exciting in person. I didn't visit Detroit because I've never heard one person in my life tell me "Don't miss Detroit!" I stayed in Saginaw and bought a little walrus from the gift shop (his name is Donut if you want me to say hello to him for you). After Saginaw, I continued to the upper peninsula. This bit was actually pretty great. The bridge connecting the two is quite long and when you get to the other side you feel wonderfully isolated (more on that later).
I went on a little hike somewhere or other in Michigan. Not sure which peninsula it was. The person I was with got bit by some bug though. Days later we had to go to a hospital because her neck had quadrupled in size.
Am I not selling Michigan to you? That's fair. There's nothing to sell. It's a sad place. I can't even say "well at least the (whatever type of food) is good." Nope. I liked the lakes. They're large and in charge. Again, the peninsula bridge is fabulous. The sensation that I was on an island the whole time I was in the upper peninsula even though it's really a peninsula was oddly unsettling, despite what I said earlier about it being "wonderfully isolated."
I stayed in Marquette, which is the biggest upper peninsula city. It had some sort of offbeat quasi-vintage hippie shops. My vegan friend found real animal-less food. That was a welcome surprise given how rural it is up there. Would I ever return? Doubtful. Very depressing place. Just listen to Sufjan's album about Michigan. Way more than I could tell you.
I went on a little hike somewhere or other in Michigan. Not sure which peninsula it was. The person I was with got bit by some bug though. Days later we had to go to a hospital because her neck had quadrupled in size.
Am I not selling Michigan to you? That's fair. There's nothing to sell. It's a sad place. I can't even say "well at least the (whatever type of food) is good." Nope. I liked the lakes. They're large and in charge. Again, the peninsula bridge is fabulous. The sensation that I was on an island the whole time I was in the upper peninsula even though it's really a peninsula was oddly unsettling, despite what I said earlier about it being "wonderfully isolated."
I stayed in Marquette, which is the biggest upper peninsula city. It had some sort of offbeat quasi-vintage hippie shops. My vegan friend found real animal-less food. That was a welcome surprise given how rural it is up there. Would I ever return? Doubtful. Very depressing place. Just listen to Sufjan's album about Michigan. Way more than I could tell you.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
TOPICAL TUESDAYS: LIVE DEBATE BLOGGING
Live debate blogging!!
7:07PT One more thing... McCain says that peacemaking requires a "cool hand." Like the cool hand that suspended his campaign and called his wife a cunt in front of his aides? Okay Cool Hand McCain. Okay.
7:06PT Okay, I don't feel like doing this anymore... As I watch these debates I read CNN and New York Times' live blogging. I'm always annoyed that they don't say enough. They only update the thing every twenty minutes or something. Now I understand. Commenting on everything is a pain.
7:01PT A lot of the people in the crowd look like they want to attack the candidates.
6:55PT McCain tried to make a joke about him losing hair. No one seemed to laugh.
6:45PT Yes McCain just proposed flying cars... Actually he didn't.
6:41PT "I saw it done," says McCain. "Back in the days of George Washington."
6:33PT Discussion time. This is absurd. Brokaw asks at 15 second question and then asks the candidates to only talk for a minute? That's a 4:1 answer to question ratio. That's awful.
6:32PT Obama's talking about us sacrificing energy production in our homes. This is definitely more specific than McCain's answer.
6:28PT Brokaw joking about the candidates talking too much again
6:24PT McCain's talking a lot about his bipartisan record. Does anyone care about how he rejected his party ten years ago? When's he dissed his own party recently?
6:21PT McCain's sort of just repeating what Obama says on some of these answers... He's trying to show his record as reformer... Now he's calling Obama the most liberal senator... blah blah... oh enough.
6:15PT Ooh Obama's getting negative first.
6:12PT McCain just told an independent Black man that he probably hadn't heard of Freddy and Fannie Mac before the crisis. Asshole.
6:11PT Oh man, Brokaw just got a bit testy telling candidates to stick to the rules.
6:06PT McCain tells Obama "it's good to be with you at a town hall meeting" Yuck. Remember he wants a million town hall debates... McCain knows how to get the economy going but he doesn't tell us.
6:05PT Obama's laying out the steps for economy... He sounds good! Oh yes he does.
6:03PT Obama always wins the coin toss.
6:03PT Are they sitting at grade school desks!? Not quite. Looked like it for a minute.
6:03PT And here come the candidates... McCain is moving slowly of course.
6:01 1/2PT And here comes Tom Brokaw!
6:01PT Wolf Blitzer says 6 million questions came in. That means one question for every Jew who died in the Holocaust. I wonder if it's a coincidence.
6:00PT And here we go! The debate is supposed to start now
5:48PT They're showing the stage. Oh yes, the candidates are very very close to the people. This means that someone can possibly be spit on by accident. Maybe that'll decide these undecided voters.
5:40PT Wow interesting... Suzanne Malveaux is talking about the limits of how much emotion and humor Obama can show with respects to coming off as an "angry Black man" or a "clown."
5:37 PT Watching CNN's panel. Don't know if they're best political team, since they say what everyone else says but I find the whole package entertaining. Campbell Brown has been pretty good recently in her commentaries. She also has a very thin nose.
7:07PT One more thing... McCain says that peacemaking requires a "cool hand." Like the cool hand that suspended his campaign and called his wife a cunt in front of his aides? Okay Cool Hand McCain. Okay.
7:06PT Okay, I don't feel like doing this anymore... As I watch these debates I read CNN and New York Times' live blogging. I'm always annoyed that they don't say enough. They only update the thing every twenty minutes or something. Now I understand. Commenting on everything is a pain.
7:01PT A lot of the people in the crowd look like they want to attack the candidates.
6:55PT McCain tried to make a joke about him losing hair. No one seemed to laugh.
6:45PT Yes McCain just proposed flying cars... Actually he didn't.
6:41PT "I saw it done," says McCain. "Back in the days of George Washington."
6:33PT Discussion time. This is absurd. Brokaw asks at 15 second question and then asks the candidates to only talk for a minute? That's a 4:1 answer to question ratio. That's awful.
6:32PT Obama's talking about us sacrificing energy production in our homes. This is definitely more specific than McCain's answer.
6:28PT Brokaw joking about the candidates talking too much again
6:24PT McCain's talking a lot about his bipartisan record. Does anyone care about how he rejected his party ten years ago? When's he dissed his own party recently?
6:21PT McCain's sort of just repeating what Obama says on some of these answers... He's trying to show his record as reformer... Now he's calling Obama the most liberal senator... blah blah... oh enough.
6:15PT Ooh Obama's getting negative first.
6:12PT McCain just told an independent Black man that he probably hadn't heard of Freddy and Fannie Mac before the crisis. Asshole.
6:11PT Oh man, Brokaw just got a bit testy telling candidates to stick to the rules.
6:06PT McCain tells Obama "it's good to be with you at a town hall meeting" Yuck. Remember he wants a million town hall debates... McCain knows how to get the economy going but he doesn't tell us.
6:05PT Obama's laying out the steps for economy... He sounds good! Oh yes he does.
6:03PT Obama always wins the coin toss.
6:03PT Are they sitting at grade school desks!? Not quite. Looked like it for a minute.
6:03PT And here come the candidates... McCain is moving slowly of course.
6:01 1/2PT And here comes Tom Brokaw!
6:01PT Wolf Blitzer says 6 million questions came in. That means one question for every Jew who died in the Holocaust. I wonder if it's a coincidence.
6:00PT And here we go! The debate is supposed to start now
5:48PT They're showing the stage. Oh yes, the candidates are very very close to the people. This means that someone can possibly be spit on by accident. Maybe that'll decide these undecided voters.
5:40PT Wow interesting... Suzanne Malveaux is talking about the limits of how much emotion and humor Obama can show with respects to coming off as an "angry Black man" or a "clown."
5:37 PT Watching CNN's panel. Don't know if they're best political team, since they say what everyone else says but I find the whole package entertaining. Campbell Brown has been pretty good recently in her commentaries. She also has a very thin nose.
Monday, October 6, 2008
MAINSTREAM MUSIC MONDAYS: BEST AND WORST
I used to be one of those guys who stopped liking a band the minute the band became popular. The twisted thing is that I really wanted the small indie bands I loved to get major MTV recognition. But then if they did, I usually stopped liking them. Damned if you do, right?
Now I've gotten a point where I can ignore all the terrible habits of mainstream music- the windchimes and auto-tune vocals and all that. I can never enjoy modern pop music on the same level that I enjoy more "pure" back-to-the-basics contemporary music or on the level I enjoy classic pop music, but I have at least developed X-Ray ears that can hear through the fluff prepared for mass consumption.
It is what that framework that I present to you the best and worst current mainstream pop singles.
BEST MPS (Mainstream Pop Single)
Ne-Yo- Closer
I gotta say, his whole "Year of the Gentleman" album is pretty phenomenal in all its M. Jackson aping glory. Sure it's schmaltzy at times but Mr. Yo has a way with melody. Plus, you have to give him credit for writing all his own songs. "Closer" is a great club jam that'll stay in your head all day. Ne-Yo came into my office once a year ago or so and he's quite a nice man. According to his Wikipedia page, he's half Chinese. Doesn't really look it. But then again there's also plenty of rumors about Ne-Yo being gay. Who really cares about either. Let the man be gay and half-Chinese, I say.
Check out the video
WORST MPS SINGLE
Kid Rock- All Summer Long
This song is huuuuuuuuuuuge. Really gigantic. The biggest Kid Rock single of all time. In fact, it's been number one in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Ireland, UK, Holland, and Australia. It's also charted on Billboard's Rock, Pop, Adult Contemporary and Country Charts. So the song must be great, right? Oh hell no. It's really terrible. It's just fine as background music or the soundtrack to some car commercial, but is it worthy of taking over the world? The riff isn't even his own. But enough of my opinion. You be the judge.
I guess the Dutch like to cruise around in speed boats, or at least enjoy the glorious American summers vicariously.
Now I've gotten a point where I can ignore all the terrible habits of mainstream music- the windchimes and auto-tune vocals and all that. I can never enjoy modern pop music on the same level that I enjoy more "pure" back-to-the-basics contemporary music or on the level I enjoy classic pop music, but I have at least developed X-Ray ears that can hear through the fluff prepared for mass consumption.
It is what that framework that I present to you the best and worst current mainstream pop singles.
BEST MPS (Mainstream Pop Single)
Ne-Yo- Closer
I gotta say, his whole "Year of the Gentleman" album is pretty phenomenal in all its M. Jackson aping glory. Sure it's schmaltzy at times but Mr. Yo has a way with melody. Plus, you have to give him credit for writing all his own songs. "Closer" is a great club jam that'll stay in your head all day. Ne-Yo came into my office once a year ago or so and he's quite a nice man. According to his Wikipedia page, he's half Chinese. Doesn't really look it. But then again there's also plenty of rumors about Ne-Yo being gay. Who really cares about either. Let the man be gay and half-Chinese, I say.
Check out the video
WORST MPS SINGLE
Kid Rock- All Summer Long
This song is huuuuuuuuuuuge. Really gigantic. The biggest Kid Rock single of all time. In fact, it's been number one in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Ireland, UK, Holland, and Australia. It's also charted on Billboard's Rock, Pop, Adult Contemporary and Country Charts. So the song must be great, right? Oh hell no. It's really terrible. It's just fine as background music or the soundtrack to some car commercial, but is it worthy of taking over the world? The riff isn't even his own. But enough of my opinion. You be the judge.
I guess the Dutch like to cruise around in speed boats, or at least enjoy the glorious American summers vicariously.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: WAGONWHEELS FELL OFF
Sorry guys, I lost the wagon wheels yesterday. It was my birthday and I was scrambling to get a scavenger hunt together and next thing I knew, I couldn't find my wagon's wheels. It's hard to talk about states when you're running without shoes... Catch my drift?
Today's thought is that in honor of a question on last night's hunt list, I'll let folks ponder some license plates. These are all the rare plates I listed last night. On the east coast, some of these would be pretty easy to find but in California, they're a bit more rare. So rare in fact that amongst five teams, not one person saw any of these plates. People looked hard too. Parking lot after parking lot after parking lot no one saw any of the following: Washington D.C., Rhode Island, Delaware, Guam, Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Alaska. In my time out here I've definitely seen DC (I showed up to town with a DC plate), R.I., Hawaii and Alaska. Don't think I've seen Delaware out here. Definitely haven't seen Guam out here. And I don't think I've ever seen Puerto Rico anywhere.
Interestingly although not one car in my building had any of these plates, I did see a Maybach in my building. I wonder if someone was renting it or if there's really someone who lives in my building driving a Maybach around town. Or perhaps a chauffeur lives in my building. Who knows. I should look into this. A car that costs at least $344,000 is something you don't see every day, even in Hollywood.
But now onto the plates
WASHINGTON D.C
I saw this plate all the time because I lived in DC. Plus, for about a year, I had a DC plate on my car.
RHODE ISLAND
Another plate I saw a ton, mostly when I lived in Rhode Island for 4 years. I never changed the plate on my car while living there, but usually when you're in a state you see the state's plate a bunch. Even in tiny Rhode Island.
DELAWARE
I grew up in Philly, which is about 25 minutes from Delaware, so I saw this one a bunch. It's probably the country's worst plate.
HAWAII
Several year back I began a round of the lovable "license plate" game. Hawaii was the very last plate I saw. I saw it in Louisiana of all places. The guy driving the car was going about 120 on a 70 MPH road.
ALASKA
I've seen this one a few times in a bunch of odd places. I think it's probably more common than Hawaii. Driving through British Columbia to get down here is a trek, but driving across an ocean is even more difficult.
GUAM
I didn't even realize they had cars in Guam. That's dumb of me. Guam is a real place, with roads and traffic lights and even stop signs I bet! Imagine that. I actually saw a Guam plate in a Wal-Mart parking lot in central Pennsylvania. This was near the tale end of the aforementioned license plate game (a game that lasted a good four months or so). At the time I only needed South Dakota and Hawaii. Guam wasn't even on my list. But there it was in Pennsylvania. That's even more water to drive across than Hawaii. Turns out I saw the South Dakota plate in the same lot.
PUERTO RICO
Never seen any of these.
Here's the greatest license plate website ever by the way: PLATES
I think I'm going to start playing this game again but to make it more exciting, I will only count a plate if I take a picture of it with my iPhone. Then, once I complete the game, I will have 50 state plus (plus any Mexican, Canadian or territory plates) I on my iPhone. That'll be pretty fucking great... Game begins now... I'll keep you updated...
Today's thought is that in honor of a question on last night's hunt list, I'll let folks ponder some license plates. These are all the rare plates I listed last night. On the east coast, some of these would be pretty easy to find but in California, they're a bit more rare. So rare in fact that amongst five teams, not one person saw any of these plates. People looked hard too. Parking lot after parking lot after parking lot no one saw any of the following: Washington D.C., Rhode Island, Delaware, Guam, Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Alaska. In my time out here I've definitely seen DC (I showed up to town with a DC plate), R.I., Hawaii and Alaska. Don't think I've seen Delaware out here. Definitely haven't seen Guam out here. And I don't think I've ever seen Puerto Rico anywhere.
Interestingly although not one car in my building had any of these plates, I did see a Maybach in my building. I wonder if someone was renting it or if there's really someone who lives in my building driving a Maybach around town. Or perhaps a chauffeur lives in my building. Who knows. I should look into this. A car that costs at least $344,000 is something you don't see every day, even in Hollywood.
But now onto the plates
WASHINGTON D.C
I saw this plate all the time because I lived in DC. Plus, for about a year, I had a DC plate on my car.
RHODE ISLAND
Another plate I saw a ton, mostly when I lived in Rhode Island for 4 years. I never changed the plate on my car while living there, but usually when you're in a state you see the state's plate a bunch. Even in tiny Rhode Island.
DELAWARE
I grew up in Philly, which is about 25 minutes from Delaware, so I saw this one a bunch. It's probably the country's worst plate.
HAWAII
Several year back I began a round of the lovable "license plate" game. Hawaii was the very last plate I saw. I saw it in Louisiana of all places. The guy driving the car was going about 120 on a 70 MPH road.
ALASKA
I've seen this one a few times in a bunch of odd places. I think it's probably more common than Hawaii. Driving through British Columbia to get down here is a trek, but driving across an ocean is even more difficult.
GUAM
I didn't even realize they had cars in Guam. That's dumb of me. Guam is a real place, with roads and traffic lights and even stop signs I bet! Imagine that. I actually saw a Guam plate in a Wal-Mart parking lot in central Pennsylvania. This was near the tale end of the aforementioned license plate game (a game that lasted a good four months or so). At the time I only needed South Dakota and Hawaii. Guam wasn't even on my list. But there it was in Pennsylvania. That's even more water to drive across than Hawaii. Turns out I saw the South Dakota plate in the same lot.
PUERTO RICO
Never seen any of these.
Here's the greatest license plate website ever by the way: PLATES
I think I'm going to start playing this game again but to make it more exciting, I will only count a plate if I take a picture of it with my iPhone. Then, once I complete the game, I will have 50 state plus (plus any Mexican, Canadian or territory plates) I on my iPhone. That'll be pretty fucking great... Game begins now... I'll keep you updated...
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