January- Janis Joplin
February- No fucking clue. Ask me later.
March- The March Hare obviously
April- Planet of the Apes
May- Brian May of Queen fame
June- Everyone's favorite pregnant 16-year-old Juno
July- Julia Roberts?
August- Augustus Caesar
September- Septic Systems
October- Octopus
November- Guns N Roses' November Rain
December- Decathletes Dan and Dave
Now let's see how I did...... Searching searching searching Wikipedia.... Shit. Not so hot... Wow, I got almost nothing... Hmmm. Where did I get all my information?
And the real answers to memorize for random future uses.....
January- Named for Janus, the god of the doorway. Damn. Would you rather be god of the Sea or god of the Doorway? Seems like you'd obviously pick the sea. But there's no Neptunuary, so I guess the Door god won.
February- Now this is interesting. January and February were the last two months added to the Roman calendar because the Romans considered winter a month-less season. Looks like February is named after the word "februum" (purification) because there was a purification day every February 15th. Thrilling.
March- Ah, I should've known this one! Mars. 1/2 of M&M. The god of war! March is a pretty wild month. You think it's peaceful and then bam you're hit by a blizzard that keeps you in the house for weeks.
April- This one is really complicated. Apparently it's not named after anything but it may be named after aperire (to open), as in, April's the month when the flowers "open." But others says it's really for Aphrodite and once was called something else. I like my Planet of the Apes etymology better.
May- Oh fuck this. They don't know about this one either. It MAY (no pun intended) be named after the Greek Goddess of fertility Maia. A bit confusing since this is the Roman calendar. I shouldn't even continue this list. WHY CAN'T WE RENAME THE MONTHS!?
June- I'm right! I'm right! It was named after Juno!!! ... well not the same Juno, but that doesn't matter. Juno was Jupiter's wife. She was a big deal.
July- Ah! Close. Not Julia Roberts but Julius Caesar.
August- August Caesar! Right again!
September- Oh it's a number thing. Septum, Latin for Seven. Originally this was the seventh month. Boring.
October- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Another number. The eighth month in the original Roman Calendar. I wish all this Octo stuff started with Octopus, not the other way around. I would stop eating Octupati if that were the case. Not sure if that's really the plural. My Latin teacher told us that the plural of Octopus was Octupati. But I think it may be Octopi. But both are wrong in blogger's spell check, so who the hell knows... Let me look it up... Okay there are three "acceptable" forms. Octopuses, octopi, and octopodes. Octo-podes is the best in my book. Literally 8 feet. But Octopuses is most accepted.
November- Novem. Nine. They really ran out of ideas. They have three thousand gods, but can't even fill the 12 months. Sad. And we say they were advanced. Uh-huh.
December- Decem. 10. Obvious. You know Dan from Dan and Dave didn't even make the Olympics that year? A lot of people forget this. That's so sad. Those guys were everywhere.
And there you have it... Now we've done days of the week and months... Not sure what'll be next week. But I'll think of something... Or will I? This may just be a blank space. The "modern art" of blogging.
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