THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS: HOW TO BEAT MCCAIN

This isn't a political blog. It never will be. But let's face it, politics are on people's minds right now. So I'll chime in more often than usual.

Now that the general election has begun, we'll see a lot more national polls. Looking at the numbers now, it's a dead-heat. But if Obama follows my advice, he'll have the presidency sewed up in no time.

Word on the street is that McCain has an awful temper. Hey I'd probably have a bad temper too if I were kept prisoner for five years (including two in solitary confinement), tortured, spat on, and the like. Here's the simple equation.

Step 1: ACCEPT

Yesterday McCain challenged Obama to 10 (TEN!) informal town hall debates. Say yes without a doubt.

Step 2: TALK WITH OTHER OLD SENATORS

Have a little chat with Democrats who knows McCain best.

Step 3: GET A CRACK TEAM OF SHRINKS

Feed that information to a team of the best liberal psychiatrists around.

MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND VOILA!

You've got a list of ways, phrases, and intonations that'll push McCain's explosion buttons during these debates.

After a few temper tantrums, the American people will see that although this is a brave, courageous national hero, he may not have the sort of sane demeanor needed to lead a country that has a stockpile of nearly 10,000 nuclear weapons. Here's a man that says he'll use the term "Gook" till the day he dies. I'm 100% sure that if I went through what he went through, I'd have the same attitude. But if someone's had a life experience so strong that it's unequivocally cemented his hatred for another group of people, perhaps it's cemented a lot of other things too. After eight years of dealing with an ex-alcoholic who can only see the world in Black/White, Evil/Bad, Saint/Sinner, maybe it's time for someone who's little less rigid in his viewpoints.