Now let's see the pictures I do have... At least a sampling.
ALABAMA- Can't find the pictures of the dirty chickens!
ALASKA- NEVER BEEN! (One of the two)
ARIZONA
I definitely have some more pictures of places like the Grand Canyon and the Petrified Forest. Where they are? Got me. Maybe I'll also find these on the antique computer tonight.
Here's a shot of the "cactus villages" of Saguaro National Park near Tuscon
ARKANSAS (can't find either!!!)
CALIFORNIA
Working from the north...
Ha, got no pictures of country ass NoCal...
What about MidCal? Here's a few:
Yosemite... See, it looks crazy in pictures... But pictures give you only a single sense: Sight. And not even full sight. Manufactured sight... You can't smell the trash in the picture.
Then there's the lovely King's Canyon. Part meadow/part snowcapped mountained/part rocky ditch...all gorgeous
And King's Canyon's other more famous half... THE SEQUOIA MONSTER!
Then there's the California cost. I have tons of pictures of one of America's top 4 drives (the other three? you'll have to wait and see!). This is the highlight. The famous Bixby bridge in Big Sur. Jen and I went last year and it was great, but foggy. THIS is the ideal weather for this landscape... although the fog had a creepy almost equally suiting aethetic to it
SoCal
Next we have Death Valley... a place Brian hated! How can you hate the devil's golf course? This isn't just the "bad man's golf course." It's the devil! You know, like where the actual devil plays golf when he's not terrifying villages. You may think it's some cute name, but no. I saw him! And honestly, I thought the devil would have flashier clubs. These things were dated Jack Nicklaus in his prime type relics.
Here's another Death Valley shot, taken at sunrise. Sunrise Temperature? About 110... Remember it got to 130 that day, so in comparison 110's pretty breezy.
Finally, here's Death Valley's artist palette. Look at that. Just look at that. The craggly desert embellished with pastel bursts. How can you not like that, Brian!? AHHH. GO PHILLIES! BOO CUBS! Sorry... that was out of line.
And Joshua Tree... a place Brian actually does love! Even if bees almost stung Alex to death there... This picture was taken from my car because I was too afraid of the bees.
And remember that skull rock I mentioned? The place where the kid disappeared? The place where they searched for his body? The place where they found his limp lifeless body eaten by desert vultures? Shit's creepy man.
COLORADO
Another state where I can only locate a smidgen of the photos (here's a tangent, I thought smidgen was spelled like pigeon. Then spellcheck corrected me. I like smigeon better). Here's the ancient cliff dwelling, Mesa Verde. I just read that they're going to film Mesa Verde in high-def so you can visit it online. Cool, right? Well not quite. They're doing this because they're afraid that it might not exist soon due to its age, natural disasters and so on. I can understand visiting a place online to enhance the overall experience. But an online tour because the place no longer exists? That's some Dodo bird type depression there.
And the Black Canyon of the Gunnison... See, it is pretty damn vaginal.
And a Middle Eastern enclave... oops I mean the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado... Tricky sight, right?
And finally, a shot of Rocky Mountain National Park... Doesn't look that great, I admit. It's cool, but mostly seems cooler because the 12,500 ft. altitude of the drive plays with your mind and sometimes causes you to see swirling smiling mountain peaks that don't exist.
There's the photos. Next week we'll be back to regular programming with a suspenseful portrayal of Connecticut!
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