MUSIC MONDAYS: MINI LPs

Sorry if this Music Monday sounds too much like last Music Monday but my Mini LP addiction has grown substantially. Maybe last week's post is to blame. All I can think about now are these Mini LPs. It's pretty sad actually since I buy so many regular LPs and hate the sound of CDs in the first place. It's like how Jen loves the little Japanese toys. Same thing really. A meticulous recreation of the original but in tiny form. So I decided I should stick to albums that have elaborate covers. Not just good covers, but covers like the Velvet Underground S/T (With a banana that actually peels off) or the Rolling Stones' "Sticky Fingers" (with a real zipper)... (Yes, both those examples were designed by Andy Warhol).

Of course the more elaborate recreations may cost more money. Like John Lennon's "Walls and Bridges" which I just purchased. The album is just okay. Better than people give it credit for but not great. I saw it at Amoeba yesterday for $30, while the other Lennon mini lps are $20. The main reason is that the original packaging has this booklet. I can't really describe it any other way, since I don't have the vinyl version and I can't find a decent description of it online. Maybe it's not special at all. But the cover looks textured at least. That's something. Anyway, I saw it on eBay for $17, so I caved and bought it. Oh well.

There are things I can give up to support the habit. I want a new pair of shoes. Now I'll wait. I need a haircut. Again, I'll wait. So what, my hair's all over the place. It'll probably soon resemble a mullet. So what! I'm a barbarian with messy hair and old shoes. SO WHAT! At least I'll have my special mini LPs.

Ha. Sometimes when I write these I imagine Jen's reaction. She works at a rather silent place. Any laugh would bounce off the walls like a donkey in a library. She asks me to get a haircut at least twice a day. It's very important to her. And I understand. No one wants to date a bum, not even bums. That's why you rarely see married bums and you rarely see bums picking up other bums. There are folks with bum fetishes. I knew a girl in college who dated a bum. Also, one of those pregnant Gloucester, MA teens has a bum baby growing in her stomach. It's not that there's anything intrinsically wrong with bums.. (ha I feel a bit absurd saying bum so many times... How about we create a new word for them. Clunk? That'll do). True there are many clunks who are clunks because they have mental and/or substance abuse problems. But there are also clunks who are fine people caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. People you may love to date, marry, or at least fuck. But years on the street can change a man. From his smells to his attitude. It's like small time weed dealers who go into prison innocent and come out hardcore murderous crack-slingers. Life without a home ain't no joke. So don't get on my case. I'm not spewing bumism. More than anything else, I'm spewing the thought that most people hate bums. I'm saying that the rest of the world is a bumist. Don't blame me. I'm the Farrakhan of Bum's rights.

I think I'm a little off topic. Sigh. Now I feel bad. I'm talking about fancy little Japanese replicas as I mock people without homes. What sort of fuck am I? I recently applied to be a mentor to an impoverished child for this precise reason. I'm a good person. Not a great person, but a much better person than many of you out in the world. Yet I'm spoiled. I say crazy things like "no one wants to date a bum." I could easily just erase all the above bum-bashing and pretend that I'm champagne.. oops, I meant to say "a champion." But I'm true. You all deserve this much.

Back to the point at hand... Mini LPs are great. Run out and get them. Cheers.