Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Wagonwheel Wednesdays: COLORADO!

Well I've been to Colorado many times and have seen a good portion of the state. Been there in the summer, the winter and the spring. So probably the best way to give you the lowdown is a Top 10, in absolutely no particular order.

1. Durango

Not much to say. Southern Colorado. Nice town. Picturesque. A decent music shop if I remember. A good place to stop for lunch.

2. Aspen/Snowmass

If you like to snowboard or ski, this is THE place. Some say it's even better than the Alps. As a town, Aspen is a good place to see a star or two in a different setting than dirty LA. My family used to go literally every spring to ski. I've been in the summer once too... gorgeous.

3. Telluride/Horse Riding

Another great ski town. I've only been in the summer. That's great too. I spent a week at a ranch and I rode horsies around. My horse's name was Blaze. Very fitting since I soon became a huge pothead. This was also the summer where I really started getting into funk. I made copies of some Funkadelic and Parliament albums for one of the dudes who worked at the ranch. In return he gave me some roast beef and beers. How nice. I had like 4 beers in a trash bag, sneaking them into my room as they clanged together. I gulped them down and got on my horsie and road a few hours. Not sure if there are laws against Drinking and Galloping.

4. Black Canyon of the Gunnison

There are the national parks we've all heard of. The Grand Canyons, the Yellowstones and what not. And then there are the hidden gems. Gunnison is a hidden gem. My ex-girlfriend would refer to it as Black Canyon of the Cunt-ison (fyi feminists, I hate that word too. Just repeating a quote. Please let me keep my balls. Thanks). The name is somewhat fitting since this is an extremely deep canyon that's not particularly wide. It's jagged and jet black. I hiked around and am pretty sure I heard a big cat of some kind in the bushes licking his lips ready to snack on some Jew. I got out in time though.

5. Rocky Mountain National Park

I believe this is the country's highest national park. It's nice because it's pretty close to Denver and Boulder. I'm sure there's plenty of real hikes to do, but the main attraction is the drive which cuts through the mountains ascending something like 12 or 13 thousand feet. It's epic. Unlike some other national park drives at VERY high heights, this one never feels unsafe. There aren't as many opportunities to plunge four thousand feet as on some other drives.

6. Mesa Verde National Park

This is an old Pueblo (I believe it's Pueblo) settlement built into the side of a mountain. It's pretty wild. Like Hot Springs National Park, this could probably fall into the National Historic Park category. There is more natural beauty here than Hot Spring though. And since these dwelling are literally carved into the rocks, it's both man-made and natural.

7. Great Sand Dunes

Speaking of a hidden gem. This park is unlike any other in the country. In Southern Colorado at the foot of the Rocky Mountains lies the country's tallest set of sand dunes. Some dunes reach 800 feet or so. You can spend hours climbing up and down these things. Rolling from top to bottom and playing away. If you just focus on the sand, you'd think you were in the Arabian Desert. It's so fucking cool. Initially all the sand came from the bank deposits of the Rio Grande. It just built and built. First a sand bump, then a sand hill, now sand mountains. I'm going to find my old pictures to give you a closer look, but here's one a professional took just so you get the idea.



When I went it was a National Monument. Now it has official National Park status. I must go back.

8. Grand Junction

Not really much of a place, but I have to give it its due because after my alternator nearly died in Utah, this is where I went to get it fixed. It was a miracle that they had the part, because Western CO isn't exactly Volvo country. Just so happened that the owner of the auto shop had a Volvo and kept a spare alternator on hand for himself.

9. Denver

A pretty sprawling city, but with enough of an urban center. Lots of homeless people. Still better than I expected. But not a top 10 American City.

10. Flight from LAX to Eagle, CO

PURE HORROR. I hate to fly. Hate it. I'd rather take the extra 28 hours and drive if given the choice. But after years of refusing to fly, I now actually do it as long as I'm drugged up enough... I'll tell you what I won't ever do though. Fly from LA to Eagle. You know your flight won't be fun when the pilot warns you about turbulence before take off. The first hour was fine. Then it hit. The plane nearly went upside I think. The stewardesses were running back and worth terrified. The pilot told them to prepare for landing! And we still had over an hour left!! I thought we were going in for some emergency landing. Oh it was awful. Never again. Never again. I'm quivering now just thinking about it. I'm in my office crying like a little 8 month old because I can't shake this terror from my system. Ahhhhh. Wagonwheel Wednesdays are supposed to be about fun. THIS IS NOT FUN.... 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10 BREATHE.... So much..... BETTE....R

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