WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: MONTANA

Just when I thought I'd finally gotten out of the "M's," Montana takes me by surprise. I always thought Montana looked like a gigantic bathtub. One of those baths with feet. I forget what they're called. Feeted Tub? Tub O Pedis? Makes you feel clean in Montana too. Fresh air in the big sky! Oh yes, Montana's a fine fine state. It almost went to Obama too!

I've actually seen a rather small portion of Montana but from everything I hear, I saw the most attractive section, namely "Glacier National Park." Oooohweee this place is breathtaking. The drive through the park is long and slow and traverses thousands of feet but it's about as spectacular a drive as you'll ever experience. You see it all up close, climbing between mountains in your car. Glaciers obviously, but also waterfalls, streams, cliffs, lakes, bears, mountain goats, snow. It's a unique park in that it teams up with Waterton Park in Alberta, Canada to form an "International Peace Park." I saw tons of baby bears at Waterton, but not even a single baby at Glacier. Looks like Canada gets the better deal. The ranger in Canada warned us about the bears and said that lots of parents put honey on their kids' hands so the bears will come and play... Clearly someone forgot to tell them that wild bears are much less Winnie the Pooh and way more Dracula. Would you lure a Pit Bull over by putting honey on your child's hand? Well a wild bear is much more dangerous than a pit bull. Consider that...

... But we're not even talking about Montana at this point. Back to the American side of the park. I stayed at a lodge that looked a hell of a lot like the Overlook from The Shining. We moved rooms for some reason or another. Probably because of a ghost. Or maybe it was construction. One or the other, I forget. The hotel overlooked (no pun intended) a deep blue lake, forests, snow covered peaks and much more. Despite being terrified during the night, the setting had me in awe during the day.

The only other part of Montana I visited was Missoula. It seemed like a decent college town. I went to a pretty solid record store. I'm sure they voted blue here. It's that eastern, flat and barren Montana you have to watch out for. They hunt them some children over in those parts.

You know, I still haven't seen a Montana plate in my current incarnation of the license plate game... And speaking of travel in Montana, that rumor that used to float around about how Montana has no speed limit is most certainly NOT TRUE. Sure, the limit was still like 75 MPH, which is Road Runner speed compared to the East Coast but it's still a limit. Unless all the speed signs I saw were just show for the tourists so we feel more at home... Quite possible indeed.