I think I'd much rather have a drink with Bill O'Reilly than Dobbs. It's more than not agreeing with Lou's crusade against immigrants. That would be a fair gripe. But I'm more superficial than that. I don't like his face. I don't like the way he pretends to smile. He's never happy. Never. But he'll do a robotic laugh to try to show Wolf and Larry and the rest of the CNN gang that he can have fun too. But you know what? It's not convincing.
I first noticed Lou last year. Has he been around for awhile? Or did they just find him beating a Mexican to death and decide to put him on the air instead of in jail? Let me look it up... Oh wow, he's been at CNN since 1980. Why have I just noticed him now? Let's see... Moneyline. Yes, that's right, I remember that show. Was he such a damn pest then too?
Most people are shocked to learn that Lou Dobbs' wife is Mexican and that he has four half-Mexican kids with her. I want to sit down with the kids and ask them a thing or two. Has daddy ever hugged you? Has daddy ever dressed up as Santa? Has daddy ever done anything to suggest that he isn't just an uglier, angrier, nastier, more miserly Oscar the Grouch?
.. Oh he's smiling now. But smiling in a way that says "suck it, I know you want to suck it." How does his wife live with him? She must be a self-hater like Noam Chomsky.
Still don't know who Lou Dobbs is? Here's a good intro... So Lou, what do you really want to say there at the end?
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