Wagonwheel Wednesdays: Maryland

Bah I say. Maryland is such a bah state. I spent a good year and a half working in Maryland in the DC suburb of Silver Spring. It's a perfectly fine place, similar to other Maryland DC suburbs like Bethesda. You've got lots of chain restaurants and little personality. There are a handful of delicious eateries that aren't franchises, such as Mrs. K's toll house (home of the best brunch in the country perhaps), but overall it's a fairly bland place.

Then there's Baltimore. All you need to know about Baltimore you can get from watching The Wire. Actually, not everything. The aquarium there is really wonderful. Probably the best I've been to. And the crab cakes. Oh shit, the crab cakes are absurdly delicious. You don't get that from The Wire. But the corruption, violence, and poverty that permeates much of this city of 600,000 is all detailed with artistic flare on HBO's sadly retired epic novel of a show. Although you may not believe it, not all of Baltimore is shady. There are a few nice blocks.

I used to think the inner harbor was a lovely romantic place. That is until my friend from Baltimore told me about the washed up cadavers they always find. Needless to say, you can imagine my outrage when someone once told me Philly looked like Baltimore. To be fair Philly has its grimy parts, but the proportions are far less the B'more. That's all gonna change though! Now that Michael Phelps has won 8 gold medals, The Baltimore Bullet is single handedly revitalizing the city with his spoils. What a champion.

What else has Maryland got to offer? I'll tell you what. The closest Waffle House to Philly! At 2AM, it takes about 45 minutes to get there. Not that bad when you have a craving for the most scrumptious utter crap ever made. I remember when I made my whole health-crazed family eat at Waffle House. They were miserable. My dad secretly liked it because he actually likes good food, my mom complained about the "greasiest grilled cheese" she ever had for hours and my sister refused to eat anything. Sigh. There are things worth eating other than multigrain bread!

You know what else is great about Maryland? Its shape. Certainly one of the most exciting shapes in state geometry. As you can probably infer from the more remote areas, Maryland has it's share of extremely country ass places. It's technically the South, which many people forget. Thus, there are still parts of Maryland (such as the little patch over the 18 mile Chesapeake bridge) where you can find your fair share of dirt roads and people you can't understand. HOW FUCKING ELITIST OF ME. I'm not saying the hillbillies aren't smart. I'm just saying some live off dirt roads and some are hard to understand when they speak. I don't see what's so elite about that...

... Fine, maybe it's a little elite.....