WAGONWHEEL WEDNESDAYS: GEORGIA

I'm having a very difficult time writing this entry. There's not really much to say about Georgia. I like the name. It's rather gorgeous. I like that it's also a country. Other than that? Atlanta seems decent. It's basically LA with Southern accents and no beach. At least as far as car culture and freeways go. That Atlanta "spaghetti junction" is no joke. Just listen to the Outkast song of the same name. There are certain ways that streets are not supposed to intertwine. Atlanta's freeways incorporate all of these interstate missteps at once. Lanes beginning and ending whenever they damn well feel like it. Highways that only exit onto other highways. Look at this shit:



It looks delicious if you were to dump some pasta sauce and Parmesan cheese on it. But to drive on? I'll take the 101 any day of the week. And that's like saying you'd rather have Stalin as your father-in-law than Hitler.

Let's put Atlanta aside a minute. Actually let's stop talking about it entirely. It's a fun city from what I gather. Good shopping, delicious food, beautiful people. Coca-Cola, CNN, TNT, Delta. Awesome. But it steals enough of Georgia's thunder.

What about the other cities? Savannah's pretty wild, with its historic squares and Gothic architecture. Not just Gothic actually. According to this one site, you can find examples of Federal, Georgian, Gothic Revival, Greek Revival, Italianate, Regency, Romanesque Revival and Second French Empire architecture in Savannah. If you gave me a quiz where I had to match all those styles to actual Savannah buildings, I'd fail. But doesn't that make it all the more impressive? They've got great trees there too. Not sure what they're called. They look like weeping willows. Damn, the Savannah Tourist Bureau will never hire me as a guide. Can you see me now? "Here we have a beautiful home. It's in the Greek Revival style. Or maybe it's the Gothic Revival or Romanesque Revival. I can't tell. See how those neat trees play off the iron? Or is that brick? I don't know. It's something." Damn I need to learn this shit. It's embarrassing.

Then there's Athens. The land of REM and the B-52s. It's not particularly easy to get to Athens. If Atlanta dedicated just one freeway to Athens, it would make life much easier. The drive from Savannah to Athens was horrifying. US highway 129. Shit, I've never felt so Jewish in my life. Like that scene in ANNIE HALL where Woody sees himself as a Hasid. I stood out so much, I could've sworn my car was painted like an Israeli flag. I saw a few dude on their porches with shotguns. I saw a poster for the "Uncle Remus Museum." Plus a "Sons of Confederate Veterans" recruitment billboard. Yeah, I felt safe.

I'd like to return to Atlanta though. I just read about this Soul Food tapas place. It made me think that I need to spend more time in the stoutly shaped state of Georgia. Ooh, try saying "Stoutly shaped state" 10 times fast. Wait, I can do better than that. Try this one: "Sedentary Stedman Styled Stoutly Shaped States." Do it! 10 times fast! Good luck.